'Oh well, there's always more fish in the ...' he faded off as a new idea seemed to strike him. 'I actually know for a fact that Brenda - you remember Brenda from Midsummer Night's Dream, right?' “哦，好吧，里面总是有更多的鱼......”他渐渐消失了，因为一个新想法似乎击中了他。“我其实知道布伦达——你还记得《仲夏夜之梦》里的 布伦达，对吧？”
I nodded. 我点了点头。
'Well, she told Penny on New Year's Eve that she was still willing to kiss you anytime.' “嗯，她在除夕夜告诉佩妮，她仍然愿意随时吻你。
'Great,' I replied without much enthusiasm. “太好了，”我没有太大的热情回答。
'And maybe a bit more ...' he added hopefully. “也许还有一点......”他满怀希望地补充道。
There was a longish pause while I considered the barren wasteland of my love life. 我停顿了很久，想着我爱情生活中那片贫瘠的荒原。
'Hey, and remember to book your room. It's first come first served,' he added. “嘿，记得预订你的房间。先到先得，“他补充道。
'Okay,' I replied still trying to shake off the dismal vision of having to resort to young Brenda as my girlfriend, and first ever girl to touch my Russian. I think I'd rather become a monk or a Rastafarian or something. “好吧，”我回答说，仍然试图摆脱不得不求助于年轻的布伦达作为我的女朋友的令人沮丧的愿景，也是有史以来第一个接触我俄语的女孩。我想我宁愿成为一名僧侣或拉斯塔法里教徒什么的。
Rambo and Fatty had already booked the rooms upstairs diagonally opposite Simon's head of house room. Despite Rambo occupying a double room, he made it abundantly clear that should anyone (read me) even think about asking to share with him, he'd kill them (me) slowly with his bare hands. He went on to add that the corpse (mine) would then be incinerated with concentrated lime stolen from the store room at the cricket pavilion. 兰博和胖子已经订好了楼上的房间，就在西蒙家主房间的斜对面。尽管兰博占据了一个双人间，但他非常清楚地表明，如果有人（读我）甚至想要求与他分享，他会赤手空拳地慢慢杀死他们（我）。他接着补充说，尸体（我的）将被焚烧，并用从板球馆储藏室偷来的浓缩石灰焚烧。
On the landing halfway up the stairs was another option, although this was a tiny room with barely enough space to stand up straight. Besides, this was Pike's old matric room and is bound to have terrible karma due to his depraved behaviour and disturbing bullying. 在楼梯的中途是另一种选择，尽管这是一个很小的房间，几乎没有足够的空间站直。此外，这是派克的旧母室，由于他的堕落行为和令人不安的欺凌行为，必然会有可怕的业力。
Another flight down and under the stairs itself was the room that was most famously home to Gavin, the weird 另一个下楼梯和楼梯下面的房间是加文最著名的家，奇怪的
prefect under the stairs. It's a thoroughly disturbing space and I didn't linger before moving on. 级长在楼梯下。这是一个完全令人不安的空间，在继续前进之前我没有逗留。
The bog room occupied last year by Meany Dlamini is large and spacious but suffers from three obvious problems: 去年，米尼·德拉米尼（Meany Dlamini）占用的沼泽房间又大又宽敞，但存在三个明显的问题：
Its proximity to the bogs 它靠近沼泽
Its proximity to the urinal 它靠近小便池
Its proximity to the house phone 它靠近家庭电话
That left the prefab double room outside that attached to the rear end of the first years' classroom. I immediately liked the look of the long and narrow room which, although outside the house itself, was close enough not to feel out of the action. Three problems immediately presented themselves: 这样一来，预制的双人间就被挡在外面，与一年级教室的后端相连。我立刻喜欢上了狭长房间的外观，虽然在房子外面，但足够近，不会感觉到行动。三个问题立即出现：
The proximity of Viking's office window offers the maniac a clear view of the door which could be tricky if I have to unexpectedly bring a buxom blonde back to my room for some late night jiggery. 维京人办公室窗户的附近为疯子提供了清晰的门景，如果我不得不出乎意料地将一个丰满的金发女郎带回我的房间进行一些深夜的摇晃，这可能会很棘手。
The room is attached to the first year prep classroom which will make it noisy unless fear is instilled into the new boys the very moment they arrive. Depending on their general sizes, this could be achievable. The flip side, however, is that Eve's counsellor's office is attached to the opposite end of the first year classroom, so with us regularly crossing paths there should be plenty of opportunities to hone my spadework over the coming months. 这个房间与一年级的预科教室相连，除非在新男孩到达的那一刻就向他们灌输恐惧，否则它会变得嘈杂。根据它们的一般大小，这是可以实现的。然而，另一方面，夏娃的辅导员办公室与一年级教室的另一端相连，因此，由于我们经常相遇，在接下来的几个月里应该有很多机会磨练我的铁锹。
(If I did take the room, it would probably be worth my while writing down and memorising a number of classic one-liners that I could use in passing conversation with Eve. Nothing too （如果我真的带了这个房间，我可能值得写下并记住一些经典的单行词，我可以在与夏娃交谈时使用它们。也没什么
obvious, but just the kind of stuff that would make me look witty, cool and well worth a shag.) 很明显，但就是那种会让我看起来诙谐、酷炫且值得一看的东西。
It's a double room. That could mean I am opening myself up to a possible room mate (Vern, Boggo or Garlic) and definite disaster. Still, there are three decent-ish rooms in the house for the others. After some considerable thought, I decided the double room was a gamble worth taking. 这是一间双人间。这可能意味着我正在向可能的室友（Vern、Boggo 或 Garlic）敞开心扉，这绝对是一场灾难。尽管如此，房子里还是有三个像样的房间供其他人使用。经过深思熟虑，我决定双人间是一场值得一试的赌博。
I hurriedly made the bed and unpacked enough clothes from my trunk to make the room look taken. I checked the basin taps which, after spluttering out some chocolate water, seemed to rectify themselves and run true. Thereafter I locked the door and pocketed the key with the confidence of a proud new owner. 我匆匆忙忙地整理好床铺，从行李箱里拿出足够的衣服，让房间看起来很整洁。我检查了一下脸盆水龙头，在溅出一些巧克力水后，它似乎自行纠正并运行正常。此后，我锁上了门，带着一个自豪的新主人的信心把钥匙装进了口袋。
Spud Milton has staked his claim! At last, a room of my own. Spud Milton 已经提出了他的主张！终于，有了自己的房间。
Tuesday 19th January 1月19日星期二
07:45 After enjoying a sumptuous breakfast at the prefects' table, Rambo, Fatty and I dawdled across the quad with our coffee in the general direction of Viking's office. Simon was waiting for us at the bench. 07：45 在级长的餐桌上享用了一顿丰盛的早餐后，兰博、法特和我端着咖啡，沿着维京办公室的大方向穿过四边形。西蒙在板凳上等着我们。
'Hey, Simon,' I said cheerfully. 'How was your holiday?' 'Cool,' he replied without much enthusiasm. “嘿，西蒙，”我高兴地说。“你的假期过得怎么样？”“很酷，”他毫不热情地回答。
'What's this meeting all about?' asked Rambo, looking uninspired. “这次会议是怎么回事？”兰博问道，看起来毫无灵感。
'Flippin' new boys, what else?' hissed Simon, rolling his eyes. “翻转”新来的男孩，还有什么？“西蒙嘶嘶地翻了个白眼。
Viking was as furious as ever although it was impossible to know what he was so livid about. All I could really glean from his introduction was that the new boys were arriving in two hours' time and that he had recently 维京人一如既往地愤怒，尽管不可能知道他如此生气的原因。我从他的介绍中真正了解到的是，新来的男孩们将在两个小时后到达，而他最近才到达
had a vivid nightmare about one of them attempting to commit suicide on his watch. When Fatty asked our housemaster whether this had been a bad dream or a premonition, Viking refused to elaborate other than to say that the dying boy was naked. A long silence followed before he cleared his throat and moved on to general protocol. After repeated instructions on what to say to the parents of the new boys as they arrived, he scavenged through his filing cabinet and brought out yet more instructions. We were each given a folder and told to familiarise ourselves closely with its contents. 做了一个生动的噩梦，梦见其中一人试图在他的监视下自杀。当胖子问我们的管家这是噩梦还是预感时，维京拒绝详细说明，只是说那个垂死的男孩是赤身裸体的。沉默了很久，然后他清了清嗓子，继续一般的礼仪。在反复指示新来的男孩的父母该说些什么之后，他翻遍了他的文件柜，拿出了更多的指示。我们每个人都得到了一个文件夹，并被告知要仔细熟悉其中的内容。
Before having to read out the entire document together in unison, Viking made it clear that during the first years' two week period of grace we were to keep interactions with the new boys to the minimum and that Simon was the only contact point should any of them need help or assistance. It all seemed a little odd but then again Viking isn't exactly the heartland of normal. 在必须齐声宣读整份文件之前，维京明确表示，在第一年的两周宽限期内，我们要与新男孩的互动保持在最低限度，如果他们中的任何一个需要帮助或帮助，西蒙是唯一的联系点。这一切看起来有点奇怪，但话又说回来，维京人并不完全是正常的中心地带。
Since the document accurately demonstrates my housemaster's (fragile) state of mind, and is perhaps the most ridiculous set of guidelines ever dished out by a high school teacher, I have decided to stick some of its contents into my diary for safekeeping and future proof that I in fact received a scholarship to the monkey asylum rather than to a top private school as previously advertised. 由于这份文件准确地展示了我舍监（脆弱的）精神状态，而且可能是高中老师提出的一套最荒谬的指导方针，我决定将其中的一些内容贴在我的日记中，以便妥善保管，并证明我实际上获得了猴子庇护所的奖学金，而不是之前宣传的顶级私立学校。
ATTENDING TO THE NEEDS 满足需求
OF OUR JUNIORS! 我们的后辈！
In accordance with a liberal psycho-analytical perspective of adolescent young men (boys) - 根据青春期青年（男孩）的自由主义精神分析观点——
Inspired, created and written by: 灵感、创作和写作者：
V.A. RICHARDSON V.A.理查森
B.A.(Hons) UED (cum laude) RHODES UNIVERSITY B.A.（Hons） UED （cum laude） 罗德大学
How to Spot a New Boy is Homesick Crying Usually involving tears/sobbing/red eyes/or boy covering his face with his hands for prolonged periods. 如何发现一个新男孩是想家的哭泣 通常涉及眼泪/抽泣/红眼/或男孩长时间用手捂住脸。
Beware!!! Prolonged periods of crying can lead to depression, loneliness and SUICIDE (see below). 小心！！！长时间哭泣会导致抑郁、孤独和自杀（见下文）。
Depression Loosely means permanently sad moods which could result in crying (see above), or loneliness (see below) or a combination of both (see above and below). Loneliness Leads to depression (see above), crying (see above), SUICIDE (below) or a combination thereof (see everywhere). 抑郁症松散地意味着永久悲伤的情绪，可能导致哭泣（见上文）或孤独（见下文）或两者兼而有之（见上文和下文）。寂寞 导致抑郁（见上文）、哭泣（见上文）、自杀（见下文）或两者的组合（见各处）。
Tell-tale signs of SUICIDAL tendencies include impressionable young boys exhibiting some or all of the following behaviours: 自杀倾向的迹象包括易受影响的年轻男孩表现出以下部分或全部行为：
Jabbing at their wrists with Swiss army pocket knives, razor blades or sharp nail scissors 用瑞士军用小刀、剃须刀片或锋利的指甲剪刺他们的手腕
Lethal overdose of pills 致命的过量药丸
Leaping naked out of the dormitory window/s 赤身裸体地跳出宿舍窗户
Placing gun in mouth/electric drill in ear etc ... 把枪放在嘴里/把电钻放在耳朵里等......
Self-drownage with backpack of bricks/stones/ gymnasium equipment 用砖块/石头/体育馆设备背包自淹
Most common reasons for suicide 自杀的最常见原因
Poor family life (Abuse, divorce, incest) 家庭生活不佳（虐待、离婚、）
Insanity (Due to possible birthing problems/blows to the head/drinking paint or detergent etc ...) 精神错乱（由于可能的分娩问题/头部受到打击/喝油漆或洗涤剂等......
Iron deficiency (See sanatorium for assistance) 缺铁症（见疗养院寻求帮助）
Prolonged constipation (See sanatorium for assistance) 长期便秘（见疗养院寻求帮助）
Victimisation and bullying (This must be weeded out!) 受害和欺凌（这必须被清除！
Homosexuality 同性恋
Warning********* 警告*********
Should a boy demonstrate SUICIDAL behaviour in any shape or form he should immediately be subdued by means of wrapping his entire head in a towel or bedspread. His arms and legs should be tied together and, if possible, his body should be attached either to the floor or to an immovable object such as a sturdy wall or bolted to a roofing panel. A particularly effective ploy is to lock the distressed boy inside the boot of a car while professional help is found. On rare occasions a responsible yet solid blow to the back of the head may be necessary. Once the boy has been subdued, make sure he doesn't swallow his tongue, and report directly to your housemaster ... 如果男孩表现出任何形式或形式的自杀行为，应立即用毛巾或床罩包裹整个头部来制服他。他的胳膊和腿应该绑在一起，如果可能的话，他的身体应该固定在地板上或固定在不可移动的物体上，例如坚固的墙壁或用螺栓固定在屋顶板上。一个特别有效的策略是将痛苦的男孩锁在汽车后备箱内，同时找到专业帮助。在极少数情况下，可能需要对后脑勺进行负责任而坚定的打击。一旦男孩被制服，确保他没有吞下舌头，并直接向你的舍监报告......
V.A. RICHARDSON V.A.理查森
B.A.(Hons) UED (cum laude) RHODES UNIVERSITY B.A.（Hons） UED （cum laude） 罗德大学
Meeting the new boys and carrying their trunks to the first year dormitory thankfully went off without a hitch. Although nervous, none of them seemed suicidal. They seemed quite an unassuming bunch apart from the black boy, Ntoko, who was extremely confident on arrival. 谢天谢地，见到新来的男孩们，把他们的行李箱带到一年级的宿舍，一切顺利。虽然很紧张，但他们似乎都没有自杀倾向。他们似乎是一群不起眼的人，除了黑人男孩Ntoko，他在抵达时非常自信。
While head of house Simon was forced to attend The Glock's laborious speech about discipline in the theatre, 当院长西蒙被迫参加格洛克关于剧院纪律的艰苦演讲时，
Reverend Bishop's sprawling feel-the-spirit sermon in the chapel, and an awkward buffet lunch in the quad with the parents and new boys, Fatty, Rambo and I spent the afternoon drinking tea, eating toast with honey, and discussing the finer points of seduction. Despite it being close to thirty degrees outside Rambo poured an entire steel bucket of coal into the fireplace and soon had a raging furnace under way. He took off his shirt and sat before the smouldering coals smoking his cigarettes and tracing the lines of his biceps and triceps with a piece of coal while we continued our discussion. 毕晓普牧师在教堂里进行了广泛的精神感受布道，以及与父母和新来的男孩一起在四边形中尴尬的自助午餐，胖子、兰博和我花了一下午的时间喝茶，吃蜂蜜吐司，并讨论诱惑的细节。尽管外面的温度接近三十度，但兰博还是把一整桶煤倒进了壁炉里，很快就有一个熊熊燃烧的炉子。他脱掉衬衫，坐在闷烧的煤堆前，抽着烟，用一块煤描摹着肱二头肌和肱三头肌的线条，我们继续讨论。
In the knowledge that the rest of the Crazy Eight would be arriving shortly, I locked my room and stashed the key in my pocket. Boggo has a long history of thievery, blackmail and forced removals. 知道剩下的疯狂八人很快就会到来，我锁上了房间，把钥匙藏在口袋里。博戈在盗窃、勒索和强迫搬迁方面有着悠久的历史。
17:35 Garth Garlic was the first of the rest of the Crazy Eight to arrive. We heard his excited shouting about Malawi from the passage outside the prefects' room. 17：35 Garth Garlic 是 Crazy Eight 中第一个到达的人。我们听到他兴奋地从省长房间外的通道里喊着马拉维。
'Rowdy!' he hollered. 'Where's the rest of the Crazy Eight?' We didn't hear Rowdy respond but he must have because Garlic immediately began banging on the door of the cop shop and shouting, 'Hey, guys! Fatty? Spud? You guys in there? “吵吵嚷嚷！”他吼道。“剩下的疯狂八人呢？”我们没有听到罗迪的回应，但他一定有，因为大蒜立即开始敲警察商店的门并大喊，'嘿，伙计们！脂肪？土豆？你们在里面吗？
Nobody replied. The handle twisted and the prefects' room door flew open. The pink and incredulous face of Garth Garlic appeared. 没有人回答。把手一扭，省长室的门飞开了。Garth Garlic的粉红色和难以置信的脸出现了。
'There you all are!' he cried with delight like we had been involved in a game of good natured hide and seek. “你们都来了！”他高兴地喊道，就像我们玩了一场善良的捉迷藏游戏一样。
'We're in the middle of a prefects' meeting, Garlic,' said Rambo sharply while exhaling a large cloud of cigarette smoke into the fire and up the chimney. “我们正在开会，大蒜，”兰博尖锐地说，同时向火堆和烟囱吐出一大团香烟烟雾。
'Cool,' replied Garlic with an expectant grin like somebody was on the verge of cracking a rip-snorting joke. He closed the door and made his way to the empty armchair to my left. 'So how was your holiday, guys?' There was a long pause before Garlic continued. 'Mine “很酷，”大蒜带着期待的笑容回答道，就像有人快要开一个令人嗤之以鼻的笑话一样。他关上门，走到我左边的空扶手椅前。“伙计们，你们的假期过得怎么样？”停顿了很久，大蒜才继续说下去。'我的
was a top tenner, maybe even a top fiver!' 是顶级网球手，甚至可能是前五名！
'Good,' muttered Rambo. 'Now sod off before I roast your face in the fire and eat it.' “很好，”兰博咕哝道。“现在，在我把你的脸放在火里烤吃掉之前，先把它擦掉。”
Rambo sprang to his feet and made a lunging bid to catch the Malawian but Garlic, who is fast developing a reputation for narrowly escaping imminent pain and humiliation, evaded Rambo's outstretched hand, leapt over the armchair in which he had been sitting, and bolted from the prefects' room, his eyes wide with terror and his skin glowing pink. 兰博猛地站了起来，冲了上去想抓住马拉维人，但大蒜，他很快就以勉强逃脱迫在眉睫的痛苦和屈辱而闻名，他躲过了兰博伸出的手，跳过了他一直坐着的扶手椅，从省长的房间里冲了出来，他惊恐地睁大了眼睛，皮肤发出粉红色的光芒。
'I swear to God,' growled Rambo once the dust had settled, 'one day I'm going to roast a piece of Garlic and taste it. No bullshit. I reckon he'll be absolutely delicious.' I didn't quite know how to respond to Rambo's cannibalism so I nodded in agreement as if eating a piece of Garth Garlic was normal if not downright sensible. “我向上帝发誓，”尘埃落定后，兰博咆哮道，“有一天我要烤一块大蒜尝尝。没有废话。我认为他会非常美味。我不知道该如何回应兰博的自相残杀，所以我点点头表示同意，好像吃一块加斯大蒜是正常的，如果不是彻头彻尾的明智的话。
Boggo arrived when we were all at dinner. After carefully examining the available room options, he selected the bog room for its size and the fact that it sulted his nickname. He said that he would rather contract cholera from the urinal than have to share with me and sleep with a cork up his bum for an entire year. 当我们都在吃晚饭时，Boggo到达了。在仔细检查了可用的房间选项后，他选择了沼泽房间，因为它的大小以及它玷污了他的绰号。他说他宁愿从小便池里感染霍乱，也不愿和我分享，用软木塞睡一整年。
Garlic selected the tiny room on the landing which meant that whether he liked it or not, Rain Man would sleep in the room under the stairs. 大蒜选择了楼梯口的小房间，这意味着无论他喜欢与否，雨人都会睡在楼梯下的房间里。
Vern arrived at and immediately began to cause trouble. Firstly, he kept banging on Boggo's door and shouting, 'Oi!' The maniac seemed furious that Boggo wasn't allowing him in and was hell bent on evicting him. But Boggo was resolute as always and refused to open the door even when Viking came knocking to welcome him back to school. Then some donkey fart suggested that Vern should share the outside room Vern赶到 并立即开始制造麻烦。首先，他不停地敲着博戈的门，大喊：“哎呀！这个疯子似乎对博戈不让他进来感到愤怒，并一心想驱逐他。但博戈一如既往地坚决，即使维京人来敲门欢迎他回到学校，他也拒绝开门。然后一些驴屁建议 Vern 应该分享外面的房间
with me. Luckily, I beat the nutcase in the race for the door and locked him out. I sat triumphantly at my desk listening to Vern's banging and shouting outside, confident that if I stuck to my guns like Boggo I would eventually see the idiot off. Thankfully, Viking didn't take kindly to the terrible racket going on outside his office window and ordered the Rain Man to cease his terrible din and occupy the room under the stairs. 和我在一起。幸运的是，我在争夺门的比赛中击败了那个疯子，把他锁在了门外。我得意洋洋地坐在办公桌前，听着弗恩在外面的敲打声和喊叫声，我确信，如果我像博戈一样坚持我的枪，我最终会把这个白痴送走。 值得庆幸的是，维京对他办公室窗外发生的可怕球拍并不友好，并命令雨人停止他可怕的喧嚣并占领楼梯下的房间。
Vern's fate was sealed and within minutes Viking (with the help of Simon, JR Ewing, Thinny, Runt and myself) managed to force him into his room. Vern的命运已经注定，几分钟之内，Viking（在Simon，JR Ewing，Thinny，Runt和我的帮助下）设法将他强行带入他的房间。
Strangely, once the cretin was in, he never once tried to come out again. 奇怪的是，一旦克里丁进来了，他就再也没有尝试过出来。
Wednesday 20th January 1月20日星期三
06:30 I called the morning roll call at a good lick, giving dissenters and wise guys no chance to undermine my first official duty as a prefect with lame jibes and idiotic sideshows. I even issued a stern rebuking of Darryl (the last remaining) for looking an absolute shambles and threw a nasty glare at Plump Graham for being forty seconds late. The first years seemed genuinely afraid of me which was heartening to see. It must be added that they do look pretty much terrified of everything right now so I probably shouldn't take too much masculine credit at this stage. 06：30 我好好地叫了早上的点名，不给持不同政见者和聪明人任何机会用蹩脚的笑话和愚蠢的杂耍来破坏我作为省长的第一个正式职责。我甚至严厉斥责了达里尔（最后剩下的一个），因为他看起来一团糟，并狠狠地瞪了胖格雷厄姆一眼，因为他迟到了四十秒。最初几年似乎真的很害怕我，这令人振奋。必须补充的是，他们现在看起来确实对一切感到恐惧，所以在这个阶段我可能不应该接受太多的男性荣誉。
Vern wasn't at roll call and didn't open his door when I knocked. Considering Rain Man's oddball behaviour last night, I thought it wise to inform Simon in case Vern had run away or done something disturbing. Vern没有点名，当我敲门时没有开门。考虑到雨人昨晚的古怪行为，我认为通知西蒙是明智的，以防弗恩逃跑或做了一些令人不安的事情。
Simon rapped sharply on Vern's door but there was no reply. I spied through the keyhole and found myself locked onto Vern's demented eyeball which was peering through the other end. 西蒙狠狠地敲了敲弗恩的门，但没有人回应。我从钥匙孔里窥探，发现自己被锁定在Vern疯狂的眼球上，它正从另一端窥视。
'Vern,' I said in a kindly voice, 'I just wanted to check “弗恩，”我用和蔼的声音说，“我只是想检查一下
that you were all right.' 你没事。
There was no reply other than the sound of Rain Man muttering to himself and pushing his desk against the door. 除了雨人喃喃自语的声音，把桌子推到门上，没有其他回应。
'Guick, attack!' shouted Simon. He shoulder charged the door and managed to prise it open before Vern had his barricade in place. Vern tried his best to keep the door closed but the collective muscle of myself, Simon and Sidewinder, who was wandering past clad only in a yellow towel, was enough to heave the door open and reveal a wild looking Rain Man dressed in khaki. “吉克，进攻！”西蒙喊道。他肩膀冲上了门，并设法在Vern设置路障之前将其打开。弗恩竭尽全力把门关上，但我、西蒙和响尾蛇的集体力量，只穿着一条黄色的毛巾徘徊而过，足以把门推开，露出一个穿着卡其色衣服的狂野雨人。
'Grab him!' ordered Simon and lunged for Vern's arm. Despite there being nowhere to hide in his spooky little room, Vern nevertheless made a valiant attempt to escape by diving head first into the wall. The bang to the head settled him down and we were able to escort him out of his room, down the passage and into the bright sunshine of the main quad. “抓住他！”西蒙命令道，然后冲向弗恩的胳膊。尽管在他诡异的小房间里无处可藏，但弗恩还是勇敢地尝试着一头扎进墙上逃跑。头部的砰砰声使他安定下来，我们得以护送他离开他的房间，沿着通道进入主四边形的明媚阳光。
'Come, Vern, it's time for breakfast,' I called as normally as possible. “来吧，Vern，该吃早餐了，”我尽可能正常地叫道。
The cretin grinned and followed me rather unsteadily to the dining hall for a breakfast of scrambled egg and sausages which he drenched in tomato sauce and wolfed down without using any of his cutlery. 克里丁咧嘴一笑，很不稳地跟着我去食堂吃炒鸡蛋和香肠的早餐，他把炒鸡蛋和香肠浸湿了番茄酱，没有用任何餐具就狼吞虎咽地吃了下去。
(DIS) ORIENTATION DAY （迪斯）迎新日
Simon, Rambo, Fatty and I led the new boys off for an introductory tour of the school to the sound of loud and obvious sniggering from a tea-drinking Boggo Greenstein on the house bench. Simon led the tour which meant that Rambo and I dawdled at the back, with Fatty falling further behind before calling it quits at the squash courts. 西蒙、兰博、法特和我带领新来的男孩们参观了学校，听着长椅上喝茶的博戈·格林斯坦（Boggo Greenstein）发出的响亮而明显的嘲笑声。西蒙领衔了巡回赛，这意味着兰博和我在后面徘徊，法蒂在壁球场宣布退出之前进一步落后。
Viking called us in for our second prefects' meeting of the day and was relieved to hear that none of the new boys had plunged to their deaths on the school tour. His big announcement was that Eggwhite, last year's mostly ineffectual house prefect returning for post matric, would be back on Friday and that we would have to cover his duties this week. He handed us further lists and instruction documents before sending us on our way with a curt nod. 维京叫我们参加当天的第二次级长会议，听到没有一个新来的男孩在学校巡回演出中坠落身亡，他松了一口气。他的重大宣布是，去年几乎无效的学院级长 Eggwhite 将于周五回归，我们本周将不得不履行他的职责。他递给我们更多的清单和说明文件，然后点点头送我们上路。
Back in the prefects' room, which we have taken to calling the cop shop, we bemoaned our lot over milky tea and cheese sandwiches. Rambo even reckoned that he was thinking of packing it in if Viking didn't stop with his endless meetings about naked boys committing suicide. I returned to my room to ready myself for tomorrow's lessons and glanced through the variety of textbooks filled with reams of knowledge and information that I will have to devour, digest and regurgitate in November. I wonder if my brain will have the capacity to take it all in? My matric maths textbook looks particularly nasty with its small unemotional writing and vomit yellow cover. At least I have the space and serenity of my own room to make a decent stab at it. 回到省长的房间，我们称之为警察商店，我们为奶茶和奶酪三明治而哀叹。兰博甚至认为，如果维京人不停止他无休止的关于裸体男孩自杀的会议，他正在考虑把它打包。我回到自己的房间，为明天的课程做准备，并浏览了各种教科书，里面装满了大量知识和信息，我将不得不在11月吞噬、消化和反刍这些知识和信息。我想知道我的大脑是否有能力接受这一切？我的数学教科书看起来特别讨厌，它的小字没有感情，封面是呕吐的黄色。至少我有自己房间的空间和宁静，可以对它进行体面的尝试。
I bumped into Eve on the way to dinner and I would be denying the truth if I didn't say that she looked absolutely ravishing in her knee length skirt and high heels. We spoke about Roger the cat's banishment to Sparerib's brother's farm near Komga due to his endless spraying and destructive behaviour around the house over the holidays. She reckons he ripped up all their lounge cushions during Christmas and extensively soiled Sparerib's thermal underwear drawer while they were at The Glock's New Year's Eve party. I nodded sympathetically about the situation and stole a glance at her cleavage as she leant forward to adjust 我在去吃晚饭的路上碰到了夏娃，如果我不说她穿着及膝裙和高跟鞋看起来绝对令人陶醉，我就否认了事实。我们谈到了猫罗杰被放逐到斯帕雷里布兄弟在科姆加附近的农场，因为他在假期里在房子周围无休止地喷洒和破坏性行为。她估计他在圣诞节期间撕毁了他们所有的躺椅垫子，并在格洛克的新年前夜派对上严重弄脏了 Sparerib 的保暖内衣抽屉。我同情地点了点头，偷偷瞥了一眼她的，她身体前倾调整
her left heel. Eve seemed rather concerned about the way Vern had taken the news about Roger no longer being at the school and asked me if he was behaving unusually. 'Vern always behaves unusually,' I replied, making her laugh and then briefly ruffle my hair. We must have chatted against the wall of the passage for at least fifteen minutes about Roger and Vern and I sensed a growing ease in each other's company. Overall, it was an excellent conversation and Eve smelled terrific. 她的左脚跟。伊芙似乎很担心弗恩把罗杰不在学校的消息带走，问我他的行为是否异常。“Vern总是表现得很不寻常，”我回答说，逗得她哈哈大笑，然后短暂地揉了揉我的头发。我们一定在通道的墙上聊了至少十五分钟，关于罗杰和弗恩的事情，我感觉到彼此的陪伴越来越轻松。总的来说，这是一次很棒的谈话，夏娃闻起来很棒。
21:30 My first lights out duty went rather smoothly, all things considered. The first years even called me sir. I was careful not to open up any meaningful conversations but a small boy with ginger hair and the unfortunate name of Michael Wiggle asked me with a deeply troubled expression on his face if Vern was insane. 21：30 考虑到所有因素，我的第一次熄灯任务进行得相当顺利。最初几年甚至叫我先生。我小心翼翼地不展开任何有意义的对话，但是一个有着姜黄色头发的小男孩，他的名字叫迈克尔·威格尔（Michael Wiggle），他脸上带着深深的不安表情问我，弗恩是不是疯了。
'Definitely,' I replied and switched out the lights. “当然，”我回答说，然后关掉了灯。
The second year dormitory was a little livelier than the first but the Fragile Five immediately obeyed when I ordered them to their beds. 第二年的宿舍比第一年的宿舍热闹一些，但当我命令他们上床睡觉时，脆弱的五人组立即服从了。
'Hey, John, can I ask you a question?' asked Plump Graham, as he tried to squeeze himself into an extremely tight pair of white long-johns. 'Why is Alan Greenstein charging a toll on the urinal?' “嘿，约翰，我能问你一个问题吗？”丰满的格雷厄姆问道，他试图把自己挤进一双非常紧的白色长裤里。“为什么艾伦·格林斯坦（Alan Greenstein）要对小便池收取通行费？”
The Fragile Five were adamant that Boggo had charged both Runt and Sidewinder R1.50 each to use the piss trough. I promised the worried second years that I'd look into the problem. 脆弱的五人组坚持认为，博戈已经向Runt和响尾蛇各收取了R1.50的费用，以使用尿槽。我答应忧心忡忡的二年级学生，我会调查这个问题。
(Surely it's only a question of time until people begin whispering about the relative sizes of Plump Graham and Fatty, considering Graham's vast expansion and what Boggo is now calling Fatty's 'anorexia-paedophilia'.) （当然，人们开始窃窃私语 Plump Graham 和 Fatty 的相对大小只是时间问题，考虑到 Graham 的大规模扩张以及 Boggo 现在所说的 Fatty 的“厌食症-恋童癖”。
I was mildly dreading the Normal Seven dorm as they were most likely to pull something on me or challenge my authority. As it turned out my fears were unfounded 我有点害怕普通七号宿舍，因为他们最有可能对我动手或挑战我的权威。事实证明，我的担心是没有根据的
and even the likes of Spike and JR Ewing were polite and obedient when I called them to order. If I didn't know better I'd say they were up to something. 甚至像斯派克和JR尤因这样的人，当我叫他们点菜时，也很有礼貌和听话。如果我不了解得更好，我会说他们正在做些什么。
'Where's Runt?' I asked after discovering his empty bed. “Runt在哪儿？”我发现他空荡荡的床后问道。
Barryl stepped forward and in an exceedingly deep voice replied, 'He's helping Rambo and Viking push Vern back in his room.' I headed downstairs to where Viking was shouting and Vern was shrieking and clawing at people's faces because he didn't want to go back into his room again. 巴里尔走上前去，用极其低沉的声音回答道：“他正在帮助兰博和维京把维恩推回他的房间。我下楼走到维京人大喊大叫的地方，维恩尖叫着抓着人们的脸，因为他不想再回到他的房间了。
Thursday 21st January 1月21日星期四
School began properly today and it was the usual grind of boredom that passes for higher education in this place. Handed out were piles of papers detailing various syllabuses, approaching large projects, and dire threats of what cocking up matric will do to the rest of your life. There wasn't even any comic relief because The Guv hasn't returned to school. Boggo said he overheard Mr Cartwright telling Norm (I don't believe in spinners) Wade that The Guv was in hospital for an operation. 今天开学了，在这个地方接受高等教育是通常的无聊。分发的是一堆文件，详细说明了各种教学大纲，接近大型项目，以及关于翘起预科将对你的余生产生什么影响的可怕威胁。甚至没有任何喜剧效果，因为 The Guv 还没有回到学校。博戈说，他无意中听到卡特赖特先生告诉诺姆（我不相信旋转器）韦德，古夫正在医院接受手术。
I ran down to The Guv's house after lunch but the place looked deserted and nobody answered when I knocked and yelled. I should have called him in the holidays, if only to say Merry Christmas and to check on how he was doing. Hopefully, it's nothing serious and only the gout in his drinking arm playing up again. 午饭后，我跑到古夫的家里，但这个地方看起来很冷清，当我敲门大喊大叫时，没有人回答。我应该在假期给他打电话，哪怕只是说圣诞快乐，看看他过得怎么样。希望这没什么大不了的，只是他喝酒的手臂上的痛风再次发作。
19:30 During prep I took a stroll across to Boggo's room to have a little chat about the increasing complaints that I have received concerning his toll charge at the urinal. Boggo reluctantly let me into his bog room which is plastered wall to wall with pictures of beautiful naked women striking sexy poses, mostly 19：30 在准备期间，我漫步到Boggo的房间，聊了一会儿我收到的关于他在小便池收费的投诉。博戈不情愿地让我进入他的沼泽房间，房间里贴满了美丽的裸体女人摆出性感姿势的照片，大部分都是
under waterfalls. I decided to confront Boggo directly about his controversial new way of raising capital and, unsurprisingly, he pretended to be utterly shocked and outraged, saying that 'people with agendas' were already spreading malicious rumours about him. 在瀑布下。我决定直接与博戈对峙，谈论他有争议的新融资方式，不出所料，他假装完全震惊和愤怒，说“有议程的人”已经在散布关于他的恶意谣言。
Boggo flopped down on his bed and appeared to be thoroughly disgusted with life. I allowed some time to pass before saying, 'I have three boys willing to testify that they saw you charging Runt R1.50 for taking a piss.' 博戈瘫倒在床上，似乎对生活感到彻底厌恶。我过了一会儿才说，'我有三个男孩愿意作证，他们看到你因为小便而向 Runt R1.50 收费。
Boggo's eyes narrowed and his look of disgust was instantly replaced by one of raging defiance. 博戈的眼睛眯了起来，他厌恶的表情立即被一种愤怒的蔑视所取代。
'Well, obviously I charged Runt, but then who wouldn't? He's the weirdest little creep south of the North Pole. “嗯，明明是我控告了朗特，但谁不呢？他是北极以南最奇怪的小兵。
'Still,' I said in my most reasonable voice, 'you can't charge a guy for having a piss. It's completely dictatorial and borderline insane.' “不过，”我用我最合理的声音说，“你不能因为一个人撒尿而指控他。这完全是独裁和近乎疯狂的。
'They do it in Europe,' retorted Boggo with a broad smirk like he had gone some way towards winning the argument. “他们在欧洲是这样做的，”博戈反驳道，脸上露出灿烂的笑容，仿佛他已经在某种程度上赢得了这场争论。
'What do they do in Europe?' echoed a surprisingly loud but mumbled voice from the doorway. We turned to see Garlic standing there in his crimson dressing gown with a buzzing electric toothbrush in his mouth. “他们在欧洲做什么？”门口传来一个令人惊讶的响亮但喃喃自语的声音。我们转过身来，看到大蒜穿着深红色的睡袍站在那里，嘴里叼着一把嗡嗡作响的电动牙刷。
'Shag animals,' replied Boggo, looking deeply displeased with life once more. “毛茸茸的动物，”博戈回答说，看起来又对生活深感不满。
Garlic was astonished by this revelation about Europeans but thankfully couldn't ask any more questions because his mouth was too full of toothpaste. He raced off to the basins to spit and Boggo took the opportunity to slam and lock his bedroom door. 大蒜对这个关于欧洲人的启示感到惊讶，但谢天谢地，他不能再问任何问题了，因为他的嘴里塞满了牙膏。他跑到洗脸盆前吐口水，博戈趁机砰的一声关上了卧室的门。
'You see, that's the fundamental problem with life, Milton,' he said. 'Too many lurkers.' Boggo looked wistful as his eyes took in a large poster of a shapely brunette with a python sliding through her naked cleavage. “你看，这就是生活的根本问题，弥尔顿，”他说。“潜伏者太多了。”博戈看起来很渴望，因为他的眼睛看到了一张巨大的海报，海报上是一个身材匀称的黑发女人，一条蟒蛇在她赤裸的中滑过。
'If it's not Garlic with his questions or Vern with his screaming and banging, then it's Runt peeping into my room and lingering around with suggestive intent.' “如果不是大蒜的问题，或者弗恩的尖叫和敲打，那么就是朗特我的房间，带着暗示的意图徘徊。”
'But you can't blacklist boys from using the bogs just because they're lurkers,' I argued. “但你不能仅仅因为他们是潜伏者就把他们列入使用沼泽的黑名单，”我争辩道。
'On the contrary, they are completely and utterly free to use the bogs for no payment whatsoever,' stated Boggo with his open arms demonstrating his generosity. 'It's just the urinal that falls under my jurisdiction.' “相反，他们完全可以自由地使用沼泽，无需支付任何费用，”博戈张开双臂说，表明他的慷慨。“这只是小便池，属于我的管辖范围。”
I found myself nodding absent-mindedly as I took in the splendour of a poster of a feisty old granny in leather riding a Harley Davidson. Underneath it was written: 我发现自己心不在焉地点了点头，因为我欣赏着一张海报的光彩，海报上是一位穿着皮革的活泼的老奶奶骑着哈雷戴维森。下面写着：
CAN YOU GO THE DISTANCE? 你能走得更远吗？
There was an excited knock on the door. 门外传来一阵兴奋的敲门声。
'Piss off, Garlic!' shouted Boggo immediately. He hurled a hockey boot which missed the door by some distance and clattered into his bookshelf instead, sending half a shelf of pornography and both of his primary school hockey trophies crashing to the floor. Boggo appeared not to notice his blunder as his focus remained on the door where Garlic was attempting to jimmy the handle with his electric toothbrush. When that failed, the Malawian commenced pounding on the door and shouting questions at Boggo about the Europeans as the shrill ringing of the telephone sounded from the room next door. “撒尿吧，大蒜！”博戈立刻喊道。他扔了一只曲棍球靴，这只靴子偏离了门一段距离，咔嚓一声砸进了他的书架，半架的色情作品和他的两个小学曲棍球奖杯都摔在了地上。博戈似乎没有注意到他的失误，因为他的注意力仍然集中在大蒜试图用电动牙刷拉把手的门上。当失败时，马拉维人开始敲门，对博戈大喊关于欧洲人的问题，同时隔壁房间响起了刺耳的电话铃声。
'You see what I have to put up with down here, Spud, my oath to God it's sheer hell.' “你看我在这里必须忍受什么，斯普德，我向上帝发誓，这简直是地狱。”
I had to concede that things were a little chaotic when most of the Normal Seven struck up a lewd war cry outside and the house began ringing once again. 我不得不承认，当大多数正常七人组在外面发出的战争呐喊时，事情有点混乱，房子再次开始响起。
'Chaotic!' snorted Boggo. 'Oh, I'd settle for chaotic all right, this is worse than a frikkin' Bombay fish market. “混乱！”博戈哼了一声。“噢，我宁愿坐拥混乱，好吧，这比孟买的鱼市还糟糕。
My oath to God it's chronic. Could easily cost me ten per cent in my exams.' 我对上帝的誓言是长期的。很容易让我在考试中花费百分之十。
'Okay, I can understand Vern, Garlic and Runt getting blacklisted from the urinal,' I reasoned, attempting to return to the original purpose of my mission, 'but why Sidewinder? “好吧，我能理解Vern、Garlic和Runt被列入小便池的黑名单，”我推理着，试图回到我任务的最初目的，“但为什么是响尾蛇？
'Hygiene, pure and simple,' replied Boggo like the matter was out of his hands and beyond his control. “卫生，纯粹而简单，”博戈回答说，好像这件事已经超出了他的控制范围，超出了他的控制范围。
'Hygiene?' I repeated, wondering where he might be leading me with this new line of thinking. “卫生？”我重复了一遍，想知道他可能会用这种新的思路把我引向何方。
'Well, do the trigonometry, Milton,' he said. 'The dude's dongle points due west, if you get my drift.' Boggo used a long bony finger to demonstrate the left leaning nature of Sidewinder's sidewinder. 'So unless he faces the window at right angles to the urinal when firing off, then he's definitely going to spray on the wall or the step and contribute dramatically to the aroma problem which I'm sure you've picked up around here.' “好吧，做三角函数，弥尔顿，”他说。“那家伙的加密狗指向正西，如果你明白我的漂移的话。”博戈用一根长长的骨头手指来展示响尾蛇响尾蛇的左倾性质。“因此，除非他在开火时与小便池成直角，否则他肯定会喷在墙上或台阶上，并极大地加剧了香气问题，我相信你已经在这里发现了。
Boggo sauntered over to his cupboard and gave his armpits two short blasts of deodorant each before continuing. 'Nothing personal against Sidewinder but, let's face it, the guy could cause mass devastation on a full tank with a morning glory.' Boggo走到他的橱柜前，给他的腋窝各喷了两下除臭剂，然后继续说下去。“对响尾蛇没什么私人的，但是，让我们面对现实吧，这家伙可能会对一辆装满牵牛花的坦克造成大规模破坏。”
Once again I found myself nọdding away in agreement as the sly Boggo defused my questions with his typical cunning and warped logic. With a friendly pat on the back I found myself out at the urinal and the door of Boggo's room snapped shut behind me. 我再一次发现自己同意了，因为狡猾的博戈用他典型的狡猾和扭曲的逻辑化解了我的问题。我友好地拍了拍我的后背，发现自己在小便池前，博戈房间的门在我身后啪的一声关上了。
'Which animals do they shag, Spud?' blurted Garlic with eyes filled with wonder and desperation. 'Please tell me.' “他们打的是哪些动物，Spud？”大蒜脱口而出，眼睛里充满了惊奇和绝望。“请告诉我。”
'What?' I asked in confusion. “什么？”我疑惑地问道。
'The Europeans!' trumpeted Garlic. “欧洲人！”大蒜大声喊道。
'Giraffes,' I replied, and made a break for it, leaving the sound of hysterical laughter from the Malawian echoing around the bogs. “长颈鹿，”我回答说，然后休息了一下，让马拉维人歇斯底里的笑声在沼泽周围回荡。
Friday 22nd January 1月22日星期五
06:10 Just awoke from a sublime dream involving Eve and a taller version of myself enjoying a romantic picnic with champagne and fine cheeses in a grassy vale beside a lake. Unfortunately, nothing physical happened but it was obvious in the way that Eve ate her cherries that she was being deliberately flirty. I had less than five hours of sleep but felt my most rested in years. 06：10 刚从一场崇高的梦中醒来，夏娃和一个高个子的自己在湖边的草地上享受着浪漫的野餐，喝着香槟和精美的奶酪。不幸的是，没有发生任何身体上的事情，但从夏娃吃樱桃的方式中可以明显看出她是故意调情的。我只睡了不到五个小时，但感觉自己多年来休息得最多。
Inspired by my vivid dream, I pretended to be making a full and lengthy inspection of the first year prep classroom after breakfast but despite Eve's office door being wide open, I didn't so much as lay eyes on her. No doubt Sparerib has bailed her up at home with boring conversations and unnecessary demands to iron his underpants. 受到我生动的梦境的启发，我假装在早餐后对一年级预科教室进行全面而漫长的检查，但尽管伊芙的办公室门敞开着，我并没有看她一眼。毫无疑问，Sparerib 在家里用无聊的谈话和不必要的要求熨烫他的内裤来保释她。
08:20 The Guv still hasn't returned. Rumours of his operation it seems are true. Reverend Bishop refused to say what was wrong with him but made it sound like it wasn't all that serious. Not sure why everybody is being so evasive when talking about The Guv? 08：20 古夫仍然没有回来。关于他手术的谣言似乎是真的。毕晓普牧师拒绝说他出了什么问题，但听起来好像没有那么严重。不知道为什么每个人在谈论 The Guv 时都如此回避？
11:00 The announcement of the trial cricket teams usually indicates what side you'll make for the coming year and the jostling crowd around the notice board meant that the moment of truth had finally arrived. The whole thing is a diabolical lottery and what with the sudden and unexplained disappearance of The Guv who was meant to coach the 1sts, one would presume that goblin man chose the teams instead. I sensed that my karma was definitely bad with Sparerib after dreaming about romping his wife for three nights in succession. The unhealthy energy in the air reminded me of last year's fiasco when spinner prejudice sentenced me to three weeks of vermin cricket with the likes of Garlic and Vern. Understandably, I approached the notice 11：00 板球队的公告通常表明你将在来年站在哪一边，布告栏周围的人群意味着关键时刻终于到来了。整件事是一场恶魔般的彩票，随着本来打算执教 1 队的 Guv 突然和莫名其妙的消失，人们会认为是妖精人选择了球队。我感觉到我的业力对 Sparerib 来说肯定是坏的，因为我梦见连续三个晚上和妻子嬉戏。空气中不健康的能量让我想起了去年的惨败，当时旋转者的偏见判我与大蒜和弗恩等人一起进行为期三周的害虫板球比赛。可以理解的是，我走近了通知
board with some hesitancy and began with the 5 ths/6ths trial match and moved upwards without breathing. My name wasn't down in the 3rds/4ths trial match either. Eventually, I could bear the agony no longer and allowed my eyes to scan down the first team for Saturday's trial. And there it was Milton, down to bat at number 8. 有些犹豫，从第 5/6 次试赛开始，没有呼吸就向上移动。我的名字也没有在第 3/4 场选拔赛中倒下。最终，我再也无法忍受这种痛苦，让我的眼睛扫视着周六审判的一线队。然后是 米尔顿，在8号位击球。
I refused to allow myself any emotion until I was back in the safety of my room where I celebrated uncontrollably in fluent gibberish. 我拒绝让自己有任何情绪，直到我回到安全的房间里，在那里我无法控制地用流利的胡言乱语庆祝。
Dare I say it and curse myself? For the first time in my life I feel like I'm on a bit of a roll. 我敢说出来诅咒自己吗？我有生以来第一次觉得自己有点不知所措。
18:00 Boggo talked the Crazy Eight into signing up for the senior social at St Mary's Convent next Friday night. I initially gave it the thumbs down but since momentum is on my side I thought it could be a strategically clever move, and besides Boggo reckons convent girls are notoriously filthy between the sheets. 18：00 博戈说服疯狂八人组报名参加下周五晚上在圣玛丽修道院举行的高级社交活动。我最初对它竖起了大拇指，但由于势头在我这边，我认为这可能是一个战略上聪明的举动，此外，博戈认为修道院的女孩在床单之间是出了名的肮脏。
20:30 Rumours of a midnight Fragile Five nightswim have been circulating. Fatty and Rambo have elected to keep guard and attempt to catch them in the act. 20：30 关于午夜脆弱五夜泳的谣言一直在流传。胖子和兰博选择保持警惕，并试图抓住他们。
Saturday 23rd January 1月23日星期六
05:45 Fatty shook me awake and hauled me out of bed because he said major shit was about to hit the fan. Over a cup of tea and a buttermilk rusk he excitedly filled me in on the dramatic events of last night. 05：45 胖子把我摇醒，把我从床上拖起来，因为他说大屎要撞到风扇了。他一边喝着茶，一边喝着酪乳面包干，兴奋地向我讲述了昨晚发生的戏剧性事件。
The Fragile Five's (FF) nightswimming effort, which appears to have been planned by Plump Graham and Meg Ryan's Son, deteriorated rather dramatically upon return from the dam. The FF discovered the chapel window, through which they had just escaped, 脆弱五人组（FF）的夜泳活动似乎是由Plump Graham和Meg Ryan的儿子策划的，在从大坝返回后，情况急剧恶化。FF发现了教堂的窗户，他们刚刚逃脱了，
was locked from the outside by means of Rambo's unbreakable Japanese combination lock. True to form the FF panicked and galloped down the gallery stairwell only to find all the lower doors bolted from the outside. In desperation, the second years sprinted back up the stairs and into the bell tower where they chanced upon a large figure shrouded in a white sheet (Fatty) who had been instructed by Rambo to make like Macarthur on the bell ringer's platform. The took one look at the enormous apparition looming over them, screamed like a bunch of small girls, and fled. Poor Rowdy exploded into hysterical sobs as they careened back down the steps to the gallery and had another yank at the chapel window which stubbornly refused to budge thanks to Rambo and the Japanese. 被兰博牢不可破的日本密码锁从外面锁住。不出所料，FF惊慌失措地沿着走廊楼梯间疾驰而下，却发现所有较低的门都从外面用螺栓固定。在绝望中，二年级学生冲上楼梯，进入钟楼，在那里他们偶然遇到了一个裹着白床单的大人物（胖子），兰博指示他在敲钟人的平台上像麦克阿瑟一样。他们 看了一眼笼罩在他们身上的巨大幽灵，像一群小女孩一样尖叫着，然后逃跑了。可怜的罗迪歇斯底里地抽泣起来，他们小心翼翼地走下台阶回到画廊，又在教堂的窗户上猛拉了一下，由于兰博和日本人，窗户顽固地拒绝让步。
Then Rambo fired up his reign of supernatural terror. It began with playing one long and creepy note on the organ and ended with him screaming, 'I'm gonna eat you!' and leaping off the pulpit with his arms outstretched onto a huge pile of cushions set out below. The overall effect of Reverend Bishop's ceremonial robes was that Rambo apparently looked like some terrible flying Satanic creature. The shattered gave up on escape and spent the rest of the night huddled together for safety in the gallery of the chapel. 然后兰博开始了他的超自然恐怖统治。它从在管风琴上弹奏一个长而令人毛骨悚然的音符开始，最后他尖叫着，“我要吃掉你！”然后从讲台上跳下来，伸出双臂，跳到下面摆放的一大堆垫子上。毕晓普牧师的礼仪长袍的整体效果是，兰博显然看起来像某种可怕的飞行撒旦生物。破碎的人 放弃了逃跑，在教堂的走廊里度过了剩下的一夜，以求安全。
06:00 A straight-faced Simon phoned Viking and alerted him to the fact that all of the second years had gone missing in the night. Our housemaster arrived at 6:07 half-dressed and already in an immense rage. He immediately sent the prefects out on a search of the house and surrounds for the missing boys. With utter fury he shouted, 'By fuckery, if these little shit-stirrers are found to be bunking out I'll meat cleaver them to death! 06：00 一脸正气的西蒙打电话给维京，提醒他所有二年级的学生都在夜里失踪了。我们的管家在 6 点 07 分到达，穿着半身不遂，已经非常愤怒。他立即派省长出去搜查房子和周围，寻找失踪的男孩。他大怒地喊道：“该死的，如果发现这些小搅屎器在外面捣乱，我就把他们切肉致死！
It didn't take long for Rambo to make the 'discovery' and Viking was led to where a pile of sleeping bodies lay huddled together in the chapel gallery. 没过多久，兰博就做出了“发现”，维京人被带到了教堂画廊里一堆沉睡的尸体。
'What in God's name is the meaning of all this?' he roared after galloping up the steps. “以上帝的名义，这一切的意义是什么？”他咆哮着冲上台阶。
'We weren't bunking out, sir,' said Plump Graham in a quivery voice. 'We just wanted to make sure that we were early for chapel, sir.' “我们不是在铺位上，先生，”胖胖的格雷厄姆用颤抖的声音说。“我们只是想确保我们早点去教堂，先生。”
Three major problems with this feeble-minded excuse immediately presented themselves: 这个软弱的借口立即出现了三个主要问题：
Nobody arrives early for chapel 没有人早到教堂
There are no chapel services on Saturdays 周六没有礼拜堂服务
Two of the Fragile Five were dressed in speedos and the others only in their underpants 脆弱的五人中有两人穿着speedos，其他人只穿着内裤
17:00 My winning momentum has stalled. I made a duck in our batting innings in the trial match against the 2nds, although it must be said that Yobbo Skelton took a blinding catch in the gully to see me marching back to the pavilion without troubling the scorers. Even worse, I didn't even have a chance to bowl because as I was measuring my run-up for my first over, a cloud burst and within ten minutes the field was waterlogged. Sparerib made us hang around for an hour and a half of watching the rain fall before he finally called the game off. Will I still be in the 1st team when the side is announced on Friday? That will be the true test of whether momentum is still going my way or if the worm of happiness has turned south and sour. 17：00 我的获胜势头停滞不前。在对阵第二棒的试赛中，我在击球局中打了一只鸭子，尽管必须说，Yobbo Skelton 在沟壑中接住了一个令人眼花缭乱的接球，看到我在没有打扰记分员的情况下走回展馆。更糟糕的是，我甚至没有机会打保龄球，因为当我测量我的第一个回合的助跑时，一团乌云爆裂，不到十分钟，场地就被淹了。Sparerib让我们徘徊了一个半小时，看着他下雨，然后他终于叫停了比赛。周五宣布球队名单时，我还会在第一队吗？这将是真正的考验，看看势头是否仍在朝着我的方向发展，或者幸福的蠕虫是否已经向南变坏了。
20:00 I opted against watching the house movie (Dangerous Liaisons) despite it starring the beautiful Michelle Pfeiffer and the disturbing John Malkovich. I'm very'close to finishing Bonfire of the Vanities so I made for the cop shop hoping to find a quiet spot on 20：00 我选择不看家庭电影（危险的联络人），尽管它由美丽的米歇尔·菲佛和令人不安的约翰·马尔科维奇主演。我非常接近完成虚荣的篝火，所以我去了警察商店，希望找到一个安静的地方
a comfy armchair to read. Instead I found Fatty eating a chip bunny and Rambo smoking at the fire grate. It appeared as if they were having a debate about the fate of the Fragile Five. 一把舒适的扶手椅，可以阅读。相反，我发现胖子在吃一只薯条兔子，兰博在火炉旁抽烟。他们似乎在就脆弱五人组的命运进行辩论。
'Spuddy, you're never going to guess what happened,' gabbled Fatty excitedly. “Spuddy，你永远猜不到发生了什么，”Fat 兴奋地咕哝着。
'Viking wants to lash them eighteen strokes each,' interrupted Rambo on a smoky exhale before chortling to himself and taking another deep drag. I wasn't really sure if beating somebody eighteen strokes was even legal, let alone good form. “维京人想鞭打他们每人十八下，”兰博打断了他，他呼出一口气，然后自言自语，又深深地吸了一口气。我真的不确定打人十八杆是否合法，更不用说良好的状态了。
"Viking scoured the school rules this afternoon and found nothing limiting the number of strokes a boy may be caned,' added Fatty as he licked his fingers and mopped up the remaining crumbs on his plate. “维京人今天下午翻遍了学校的规则，没有发现任何限制男孩可能被鞭打的次数，”胖子补充道，他舔了舔手指，擦掉了盘子里剩下的面包屑。
According to the residents of the cop shop, Viking has accused the Fragile Five of a multitude of crimes, including truancy, nightswimming, deviancy, vandalism, bunking-out, bunking-in, crass deception, blasphemy, soiling hymnbooks, and being underdressed in the chapel within thirty hours of the commencement of a service. This all added up to eighteen strokes each to be dished out at 20:00 tomorrow evening in Viking's office. 据警察商店的居民说，维京人指控脆弱五人组犯有多项罪行，包括逃学、夜泳、越轨、故意破坏、铺位、铺位、粗鲁的欺骗、亵渎、弄脏赞美诗集，以及在礼拜开始后三十小时内在教堂里穿得不够整。这一切加起来有18个笔画，每个笔画将于明天晚上20：00在维京的办公室里发出。
'One of them could definitely die,' said Rambo, looking rather pleased about developments. “他们中的一个肯定会死，”兰博说，看起来对事态发展相当满意。
'Eighteen strokes is pushing the line of barbarism even by apartheid standards,' cautioned Fatty. “即使按照种族隔离的标准，十八次鞭打也是在推动野蛮的界限，”法蒂警告说。
'Perhaps one of them will commit suicide,' ventured Rambo in a low voice. 'Now that would be deeply ironic.' I left Fatty and Rambo to their disturbing conversations about death and headed to my room with a cup of tea. There's nothing quite like the feeling of drawing close to the end of a great book and Bonfire of the Vanities was screaming for attention. “也许他们中的一个人会自杀，”兰博低声说。“现在这将是非常具有讽刺意味的。我离开了胖子和兰博，听着他们关于死亡的令人不安的谈话，然后喝了一杯茶回到了我的房间。没有什么比接近一本好书的结尾的感觉更棒的了，虚荣的篝火正在尖叫着引起人们的注意。
Despite not having any pictures or posters up yet, I really do like the feeling of being alone in my long skinny 尽管还没有任何照片或海报，但我真的很喜欢独自一人的感觉
room. School is far more enjoyable when you have the right place to hide from it. 房间。当你有合适的地方躲避它时，学校会更愉快。
Sunday 24th January 1月24日星期日
How fantastic to be in matric and finally shot of the laborious institution of free bounds. I always wondered if sending the majority of the school off the premises on a Sunday afternoon ever did any good. Now I see that it most definitely does. Matrics, post matrics and staff get to have the run of the place and for three short hours the school is a place you would never want to leave. 在大学里，最后拍摄了费力的自由界限制度，真是太棒了。我一直在想，在周日下午把学校的大部分人送走是否有什么好处。现在我看到它确实如此。预科生、预科生和教职员工可以管理这个地方，在短短的三个小时内，学校是一个你永远不想离开的地方。
After seeing all the boys off from the house bench, Rambo and Boggo took on Fatty and me in a three-set marathon tennis match. Rambo continued his one man rebellion against the school rules despite being a prefect. His large juice bottle was filled with strong vodka, ice and Oros, which he forced us to taste before knocking up. We lost in the third set tie-breaker when Boggo's relentless goading of Fatty's anorexia-paedophilia finally took its toll as my partner lost his temper and smashed a forehand into the net and the next over the back fence. He then served two double faults to end the match and shouted, 'Shot a lot, Boggo, for screwing up a great tennis match!' and stormed back to the house without shaking anyone's hand. 在将所有男孩从替补席上送走后，兰博和博戈在一场三盘马拉松网球比赛中对阵法特和我。兰博尽管是级长，但他继续一个人反抗校规。他的大果汁瓶里装满了浓烈的伏特加、冰块和奥罗斯，他强迫我们在敲门之前品尝。我们在第三盘决胜局中输掉了比赛，当时博戈对法蒂厌食症恋童癖的无情煽动终于造成了损失，因为我的搭档发了脾气，正手击球入网，下一个正手击球越过后围栏。然后，他发了两个双误结束了比赛，并大喊：“博戈，把一场伟大的网球比赛搞砸了！”然后冲回了房子，没有和任何人握手。
Weirdly, Rambo's tennis improved with every cup of 'jungle juice' he drank, although his voice was slurring terribly when he called out the score in the final set. 奇怪的是，兰博的网球随着他喝的每一杯“丛林果汁”而提高，尽管当他在最后一盘喊出比分时，他的声音非常含糊不清。
17:00 Roll Call 17：00 点名
I knew something was wrong the moment I noticed Plump Graham's expression. 当我注意到 Plump Graham 的表情时，我就知道有些不对劲。
'Where are Rowdy and Stutterheim?' I repeated, this “罗迪和斯塔特海姆在哪儿？”我再说一遍，这个
time in a far sterner voice. Whispering and murmurs of interest flared up among the other boys, so I ordered the three remaining members of the Fragile Five to see me afterwards in the cop shop and continued with the roll call. 时间以更严厉的声音。其他男孩之间爆发了窃窃私语和饶有兴趣的窃窃私语，所以我命令脆弱五人组剩下的三名成员在警察商店见我，然后继续点名。
As expected, the three offered very little information about the whereabouts of the missing boys other than to say that Stutterheim and Rowdy were last seen sitting together at breakfast. I ordered a house search which turned up nothing. I went through their possessions and by the looks of things some clothes, toiletries and bags were missing from both their lockers. Simon wasn't in his room and Rambo had passed out after too much jungle juice and tennis. Instead I took matters into my own hands and marched down to the phone room where I kicked Meg Ryan's Son off a call and dialled up Viking's internal extension. 不出所料，这三个人几乎没有提供关于失踪男孩下落的信息，只是说斯塔特海姆和罗迪最后一次被看到坐在一起吃早餐。我下令搜查房屋，但一无所获。我检查了他们的财产，从外观上看，他们的储物柜里都少了一些衣服、洗漱用品和包。西蒙不在他的房间里，兰博在喝了太多的丛林果汁和网球后昏倒了。相反，我把事情掌握在自己手中，走到电话室，在那里我踢掉了梅格·瑞恩的儿子的电话，并拨通了维京的内部分机。
'Yes!' barked the voice of my housemaster. “是的！”我家管家的声音吼道。
'Sir, it's Milton,' I said. “先生，是米尔顿，”我说。
'What's going on, Milton?' he replied with terrible dread lining his voice. “这是怎么回事，弥尔顿？”他回答说，声音里带着可怕的恐惧。
'Sir, I think Rowdy and Stutterheim might have run away.' “先生，我想罗迪和斯塔特海姆可能已经逃跑了。
'Fantastic, just fantasticl' he roared with hideous sarcasm. 'Milton!' he barked. 'Meet me outside my office in three minutes and bring along anybody who can shed light on the matter, or anybody else who needs to be interrogated or beaten! “太棒了，简直太棒了，”他带着可怕的讽刺咆哮着。“弥尔顿！”他吼道。“三分钟后在我的办公室外见我，带上任何能说明此事的人，或者其他任何需要审讯或殴打的人！
I roped in the remaining members of the Fragile Five and headed downstairs to wait for the housemaster. A haggard looking Plump Graham, Sidewinder and Meg Ryan's Son followed me out the house door, ignoring the commotion under the stairs where a large crowd of boys were carrying Vern head first into his room. Outside the light was fading. 我拉上了脆弱五人组剩下的成员，下楼去等舍监。一个看起来很憔悴的胖胖的格雷厄姆、响尾蛇和梅格瑞恩的儿子跟着我走出了房子的门，无视了楼梯下的骚动，那里有一大群男孩把弗恩的头抬进了他的房间。外面的光线正在消退。
Viking arrived in a billowing white Hawatian shirt open to the stomach, blue tracksuit pants, and brown ethnic sandals. He was nowhere near as furious as expected, although this proved to be only a temporary lapse as he blew his top when I summoned the remaining Fragile Fivers into his office. 维京人穿着一件飘逸的白色夏威夷衬衫，蓝色运动裤和棕色民族凉鞋。他远没有想象中的那么愤怒，尽管这只是暂时的失误，因为当我把剩下的脆弱的五人召集到他的办公室时，他炸毁了他的上衣。
'You bastards again!' he roared and stood up violently. He pointed aggressively at Plump Graham and boomed, 'When I'm done with you lot, you will know the true meaning of suffering!' The tirade continued for at least five minutes as the Fragile Five wilted under the firestorm of Viking's wrath once more. After the shittingon ended with several vile and imaginative threats in quick succession, Viking composed himself and in an acid voice said, 'Now I hope you lot have some news about the disappearance of Rowdy and the other boy?' “你们又是混蛋！”他咆哮着，猛地站了起来。他咄咄逼人地指着丰满的格雷厄姆，大声说：“等我和你在一起，你就会知道痛苦的真正含义！长篇大论持续了至少五分钟，脆弱的五人组再次在维京人愤怒的风暴下枯萎。在一连串的恶毒和富有想象力的威胁中结束了这场之后，维京人镇定下来，用酸涩的声音说：“现在我希望你们能得到一些关于罗迪和另一个男孩失踪的消息？
Meg Ryan's Son admitted that besides seeing the missing boys at breakfast they had nothing further to report. Viking blew his top again and gassed all over the remaining members of the Fragile Five with incredible force and from a dizzying height. After threatening them with prolonged torture, he upped their nightswimming punishment from eighteen to twenty strokes for wasting his time on a Sunday and kicked them out of his office. I felt a little bad about being responsible but reasoned that after eighteen strokes from Viking, a further two would make little difference. 梅格·瑞恩的儿子承认，除了在早餐时看到失踪的男孩外，他们没有什么可报告的。维京人再次吹响了他的上衣，以令人难以置信的力量和令人眼花缭乱的高度向脆弱五人组的剩余成员喷射。在用长时间的酷刑威胁他们之后，他将他们的夜泳惩罚从18下提高到20下，因为他们在星期天浪费时间，并将他们赶出了他的办公室。我对负责任的感觉有点不好，但推断在维京人打了十八下之后，再打两下就没什么区别了。
Thankfully, Simon became involved after spending four hours hitting cricket balls from a bowling machine in the nets. After hearing my story he said he would take it from here and disappeared into Viking's office for further meetings. 值得庆幸的是，西蒙在花了四个小时从网中的保龄球机上击打板球后开始参与其中。听完我的故事后，他说他会从这里拿走它，然后消失在维京的办公室里参加进一步的会议。
19:00 With Simon in Viking's office, Rambo man down with a hangover, and Fatty on a marathon call to Penny, 19：00 西蒙在维京的办公室里，兰博因宿醉而倒下，胖子给佩妮打了一场马拉松电话，