（2003）。國際精神分析期刊，（84）（1）：17-30
(2003). Int. J. Psychoanal., (84)(1):17-30

比翁、博爾赫斯、反移情精神病、做夢、無法做夢、文學、幻想、幻想剝奪
Bion, Borges, counter-transfererce psychosis, dreaming, inability to dream, literature, reverie, reverie-deprivation

在本文中，作者從三個不同的角度探討了無法做夢的現象（與無法記住夢境相對）。首先，從精神分析理論的角度，他討論了比翁的觀點，即做夢的工作創造了意識和潛意識（而不是反過來）。一個無法做夢的人無法產生可區分的意識和潛意識經驗，因此生活在一種心理狀態中，無法區分清醒與睡眠、做夢與感知。接著，作者從文學作品所達到的視角來探討無法做夢的問題。他討論了一部博爾赫斯的小說，以獨特而藝術的方式創造了無法做夢的經驗。最後，作者利用對臨床經驗的詳細描述來探討無法做夢的意義。 他描述了一種初始狀態，特徵是病人產生無法利用的「心理噪音」，這在數年內導致分析師經歷「白日夢剝奪」和短暫的反移情精神病。文中呈現並討論了兩次分析會議，在這些會議中進行了心理學工作，這有助於病人和分析師雙方在真實夢境的能力上得到增強，無論是在睡眠中還是在分析的白日夢狀態中。
In this paper, the author explores the phenomenon of not being able to dream (as opposed to not being able to remember one’s dreams) from three different vantage points. First, from the point of view of psychoanalytic theory, he discusses Bion’s idea that the work of dreaming creates the conscious and unconscious mind (and not the other way around). A person who cannot dream is unable to generate differentiable conscious and unconscious experience and, consequently, lives in a psychic state in which he is unable to differentiate waking from sleeping, dreaming from perceiving. The author then approaches the problem of the inability to dream from the perspective achieved by a literary work. He discusses a Borges fiction that creates, in a singularly artful way, the experience of not being able to dream. Finally, the author utilises the vantage point of a detailed account of a clinical experience to explore what it means not to be able to dream. He describes an initial state characterised by the patient’s proliferation of unutilisable ‘psychic noise’ which, over a period of years, led to the analyst’s experiencing ‘reverie-deprivation’ and brief periods of counter-transfererce psychosis. Two analytic sessions are presented and discussed in which psycho logical work was done that contributed to an enhanced capacity on the part of both patient and analyst for genuine dreaming-both in sleep and in analytic reverie states.

關於夢的意義已經寫了很多；而關於做夢的意義則相對較少；至於無法做夢的意義，更是少之又少。接下來將呈現一個觀點、一個故事和一個分析經驗，這三者將作為進入無法做夢的意義問題的切入點，無論是在理論層面還是經驗層面。
Much has been written on what dreams mean; relatively little on what it means to dream; and still less on what it means not to be able to dream. What follows are an idea, a story and an analytic experience, each used as points of entry into the question of what it means-on both a theoretical and an experiential plane-not to be able to dream.

在討論一個源自比昂（Bion）關於無法做夢的工作所衍生的想法（更準確地說，是一組密不可分的想法）之前，幾個
Before discussing an idea (more accurately, an inextricably interwoven set of ideas) derived from the work of Bion concerning not being able to dream, a few
關於比昂術語的詞彙是必要的。比昂認為，精神分析術語已經被“聯想的半影”所飽和（1962 年，第 2 頁），因此，為了產生不僅是新鮮的想法，而是真正新的精神分析思維方式，有必要引入一組新的術語：一個空的集合，表示尚未知道的東西，而不是我們想像中已經知道的東西。就本次討論而言，這些術語中只有一小部分需要被定義——如果“定義”這個詞能夠用於比昂那種難以捉摸、引人聯想、持續演變的思維和寫作。比昂（1962 年）引入了“阿爾法功能”這一術語，指的是尚未知道的一組心理操作，這些操作共同將原始的感官印象（“貝塔元素”）轉化為經驗的元素（稱為“阿爾法元素”），這些元素可以以無意識記憶的形式儲存，使其能夠被用來創造無意識、前意識和意識所需的聯結。
words concerning Bion’s terminology are called for. Bion believed that psychoanalytic terminology had become so saturated with ‘a penumbra of associations’ (1962, p. 2) that, in order to generate not only fresh ideas but genuinely new ways of thinking psychoanalytically, it was necessary to introduce a new set of terms: an empty set that would indicate what is not yet known as opposed to what we imagine we already know. For the purposes of the present discussion, only a small part of this terminology need be definedif the word ‘defined’ can ever be used with regard to Bion’s elusive, evocative, constantly evolving thinking and writing. Bion (1962) introduced the term ‘alpha-function’ to refer to the as yet unknown set of mental operations that, together, transform raw sense impressions (‘beta-elements’) into elements of experience (termed ‘alpha-elements’) which can be stored as unconscious memory in a form that makes them accessible for creating linkages necessary for unconscious as well as preconscious and conscious
心理工作，例如做夢、思考、壓抑、記憶、遺忘、哀悼、幻想和從經驗中學習。
psychological work, such as dreaming, thinking, repressing, remembering, forgetting, mourning, reverie and learning from experience.

貝塔元素在意義的創造中無法彼此連結。它們可以粗略地比擬為故障電視螢幕上的「雪」，在這種情況下，沒有任何單一的視覺閃爍或閃爍群組能夠與其他閃爍連結以形成圖像或甚至有意義的模式。貝塔元素僅適合撤離或儲存——不是作為記憶，而是作為心理噪音。（「雪」和「噪音」的隱喻是我自己的，代表對比昂的詮釋。）
Beta-elements cannot be linked with one another in the creation of meaning. They might very roughly be compared with ‘snow’ on a malfunctioning television screen in which no single visual scintillation or group of scintillations can be linked with other scintillations to form an image or even a meaningful pattern. Beta-elements are fit only for evacuation or for storage-not as memory but as psychic noise. (The ‘snow’ and ‘noise’ metaphors are my own and represent interpretations of Bion.)

在《從經驗中學習》中，比昂提出了一套徹底新穎的觀念，關於夢境和無法做夢所涉及的內容： ${}^1$${}^1$^(1){ }^{1}
In Learning from experience, Bion introduced a radically new set of ideas regarding what is involved both in dreaming and in not being able to dream: ${}^1$${}^1$^(1){ }^{1}

在睡眠中發生的情感體驗……與清醒生活中發生的情感體驗並無不同，因為在這兩種情況下，情感體驗的感知都必須經過α功能的處理，才能用於夢的思維……
An emotional experience occurring in sleep … does not differ from the emotional experience occurring during waking life in that the perceptions of the emotional experience have in both instances to be worked upon by alpha-function before they can be used for dream thoughts …

如果病人無法將他的[原始感官]情感經驗轉化為α元素，他就無法做夢。α功能將感官印象轉化為α元素，這些元素類似於我們在夢中熟悉的視覺影像，實際上可能是與之相同的元素，即佛洛伊德認為在分析或自我解讀時能夠揭示其潛在內容的元素。
If the patient cannot transform his [raw sensory] emotional experience into alpha-elements, he cannot dream. Alpha-function transforms sense impressions into alpha-elements which resemble, and may in fact be identical with, the visual images with which we are familiar in dreams, namely, the elements that Freud regards as yielding their latent content [when interpreted in analysis or self-
分析] … α功能的失敗意味著病人無法做夢，因此無法入睡。[因為] α功能使情感經驗的[原始]感知印象可供意識[思考]和夢境思考，無法做夢的病人無法入睡，也無法醒來。因此，在臨床上看到的特殊情況是，精神病患者的行為就像他正處於這種狀態（1962 年，第 6-7 頁）。
analysis] … Failure of alpha-function means that the patient cannot dream and therefore cannot sleep. [In as much as] alpha-function makes the [raw] sense impressions of the emotional experience available for conscious [thought] and dream-thought, the patient who cannot dream cannot go to sleep and cannot wake up. Hence the peculiar condition seen clinically when the psychotic patient behaves as if he were in precisely this state (1962, pp. 6-7).

在這兩段密集的文字中，比昂重新概念化了夢境在人類生活中的角色。夢境不斷地在白天和夜晚發生，儘管我們在清醒狀態下僅以衍生形式意識到它，例如，在分析會議中出現的沉思狀態（參見奧格登，1997a，1997b，2001）。如果一個人無法將原始的感官數據轉化為可以儲存並可供連結的無意識經驗元素，他就無法做夢（這涉及在創造夢思時建立情感聯結）。
In the space of these two dense paragraphs, Bion offers a reconceptualisation of the role of dreaming in human life. Dreaming occurs continuously day and night, though we are aware of it in waking states only in derivative form, for example, in reverie states occurring in an analytic session (see Ogden, 1997a, 1997b, 2001). If a person is unable to transform raw sensory data into unconscious elements of experience that can be stored and made accessible for linking, he is incapable of dreaming (which involves making emotional linkages in the creation of dream-thoughts). ${}^2$${}^2$^(2){ }^{2}

個體無法進行α功能時，並不是擁有一個夢（以夢的形式體驗），而是僅僅記錄原始的感官數據。對於這樣的人來說，在睡眠中體驗到的原始感官數據（β元素）與清醒生活中發生的數據無法區分。無法區分清醒和睡眠狀態的患者「無法入睡，也無法醒來」（比昂，1962 年，第 7 頁）。這種狀態在精神病患者中經常觀察到，他們不知道自己是清醒還是做夢，因為如果患者能夠進行α功能，可能會成為夢的東西，反而在睡眠或清醒生活中變成了幻覺。幻覺是夢和清醒狀態下無意識思維的對立面。
Instead of having a dream (experienced as a dream), the individual incapable of alpha-function registers only raw sensory data. For such a person, the raw sensory data (beta-elements) experienced in sleep are indistinguishable from those occurring in waking life. ${}^3$${}^3$^(3){ }^{3} Unable to differentiate waking and sleeping states, the patient ‘cannot go to sleep and cannot wake up’ (Bion, 1962, p. 7). Such states are regularly observed in psychotic patients who do not know if they are awake or dreaming because what might have become a dream (were the patient capable of alpha-function) becomes, instead, an hallucination in sleep or waking life. Hallucinations are the opposite of dreaming and of unconscious thinking in a waking state.

相反，並非所有在睡眠中發生的心理事件（即使是那些視覺意象中的事件）
Conversely, not all psychic events occurring in sleep (even those events in visual imagistic
${}^1$${}^1$^(1){ }^{1} 如將顯而易見，我在這篇論文中的興趣在於無法做夢，而不是無法記住自己的夢。前者涉及精神病理過程，而後者通常不涉及。
${}^1$${}^1$^(1){ }^{1} As will become evident, my interest in this paper is in the inability to dream as opposed to not being able to remember one’s dreams. The former involves psychotic processes while the latter usually does not.
${}^2$${}^2$^(2){ }^{2} 比翁使用“思想”一詞來包括思想和情感。
${}^2$${}^2$^(2){ }^{2} Bion uses the word ‘thoughts’ to include both thoughts and feelings.
對於比昂（1957 年）來說，個性中總是同時存在著精神病和非精神病的部分。因此，患者無法做夢（這反映了個性中的精神病部分）在每一種情況下，都在某種程度上伴隨著能夠進行α狀態的非精神病部分。
${}^3$${}^3$^(3){ }^{3} For Bion (1957), there are always co-existing psychotic and non-psychotic parts of the personality. Consequently, a patient’s inability to dream (which is a reflection of the psychotic part of the personality) is, in every instance, to some degree accompanied by a non-psychotic part of the personality capable of alpha-
功能，因此能夠在個體清醒時產生意識思維、夢境思維和無意識思維。
function and consequently able to produce conscious thought, dream-thought and unconscious thinking while the individual is awake.
我們在醒來時記得的形式）值得被稱為「夢」。在睡眠中發生的心理事件，雖然看似夢境，但並不是真正的夢，包括無法聯想的「夢」、睡眠中的幻覺、遭受創傷性神經症者的重複（不變）「夢」、僅由強烈的情感狀態或睡眠中的肌肉動作組成的無影像「夢」。儘管這些在睡眠中發生的現象可能看起來像夢，但它們並不涉及無意識的心理工作——夢的工作——這種工作會導致心理成長。人可以一生中產生幻覺，而不進行任何心理工作。對於（我對）比昂的詮釋來說，夢如果要值得這個名稱，必須涉及通過將經驗的元素（已儲存為記憶）聯結起來而實現的無意識心理工作，以創造夢思。這種無意識聯結的工作——與幻覺、過度的投射性認同、狂躁防衛和偏執妄想等心理排空形式相對——使人能夠無意識和有意識地思考並心理性地利用經驗。 一個無法從經驗中學習（利用經驗）的人，被囚禁在一個無盡、不變的現實世界的地獄中。
form that we remember on waking) merit the name ‘dream’. Psychological events occurring in sleep that appear to be dreams but are not dreams include ‘dreams’ to which no associations can be made, hallucinations in sleep, the repetitive (unchanging) ‘dreams’ of those suffering from traumatic neuroses, imageless ‘dreaming’ consisting only of an intense feeling state or a muscular action in sleep. Though these phenomena occurring in sleep may appear to be dreams, they involve no unconscious psychological work-the work of dreaming-which results in psychological growth. One can hallucinate for a lifetime without the slightest bit of psychological work being done. For (my interpretation of) Bion, dreaming, if it is to merit the name, must involve unconscious psychological work achieved through the linking of elements of experience (which have been stored as memory) in the creation of dreamthought. This work of making unconscious linkages-as opposed to forms of psychic evacuation, such as hallucination, excessive projective identification, manic defence and paranoid delusion-allows one unconsciously and consciously to think about and make psychological use of experience. A person unable to learn from (make use of) experience is imprisoned in the hell of an endless, unchanging world of what is.

比翁進一步詳細闡述了他對夢境分析概念的修訂：
Bion goes on to flesh out his revision of the analytic conception of dreaming:
一個與朋友交談的男人將這種情感經驗的感官印象轉化為α元素，從而能夠進入夢思，並因此能夠不受干擾地意識到事實，無論這些事實是他參與的事件還是他對這些事件的感受，或兩者兼而有之。他能夠保持“睡眠”狀態，或對某些無法穿透他“夢”所呈現的障礙的元素保持無意識。多虧了這個“夢”，他可以不間斷地保持清醒，也就是說，清醒地意識到他正在與朋友交談，但對那些如果能穿透他“夢”的障礙，將導致他心智被通常無意識的思想和情感所主導的元素保持無知。
A man talking to a friend converts the sense impressions of this emotional experience into alpha-elements, thus becoming capable of dream-thoughts and therefore of undisturbed consciousness of the facts whether the facts are the events in which he participates or his feelings about those events or both. He is able to remain ‘asleep’ or unconscious of certain elements that cannot penetrate the barrier presented by his ‘dream’. Thanks to the ‘dream’ he can continue uninterruptedly to be awake, that is, awake to the fact that he is talking to his friend, but asleep to elements which, if they could penetrate the barrier of his ‘dreams’, would lead to domination of his mind by what are ordinarily unconscious ideas and emotions.

夢境[在健康狀態下不斷無意識地生成]形成了一道屏障，防止可能壓倒病人意識的心理現象，讓他無法意識到自己正在與朋友交談，同時也使得意識到自己正在與朋友交談的情況無法壓倒他的幻想（第 15 頁）。
The dream [which in health is continuously being generated unconsciously] makes a barrier against mental phenomena which might overwhelm the patient’s awareness that he is talking to a friend, and, at the same time, makes it impossible for awareness that he is talking to a friend to overwhelm his phantasies (p. 15).

在這裡，比昂擴展了他對夢境的概念，使夢境的角色不再僅限於通過連結儲存的經驗元素（α元素）來構建敘事（具有顯性和潛在意義）。比昂在這段文字中顛覆了傳統智慧，即入睡的能力是做夢的前提。他提出，夢境實際上是使入睡和醒來成為可能的原因。夢境，作為一種新概念，創造了意識和無意識，並維持兩者之間的差異。在比昂的手中，「睡著」這個術語成為一種對「無意識某些元素（被壓抑的）無法穿透他所呈現的『夢』所形成的障礙」的概念（第 15 頁）。同樣，清醒現在與不斷意識到清醒生活中發生的事情同義（例如，傾聽病人、閱讀書籍或觀看電影）。這是通過清醒的無意識夢境來實現的。這兩種夢境形式——在睡眠中做的夢和清醒的無意識夢境——產生了一個活的半滲透障礙，將意識和無意識的生活分開並連接起來。 在缺乏清醒的無意識夢境的情況下，意識不僅會被壓抑的無意識思想和情感所淹沒，而且，個體在外部現實領域的實際經驗也將無法用於無意識的心理工作。沒有不受干擾的外部現實接觸，個體就沒有可供操作或處理的生活經驗。
Here, Bion expands his conception of dreaming in such a way that the role of dreaming is no longer limited to constructing narratives (with manifest and latent meanings) by means of linking stored elements of experience (alphaelements). Bion, in this passage, reverses the conventional wisdom that the ability to fall asleep is a precondition for dreaming. He proposes instead that dreaming is what makes it possible to fall asleep and to wake up. Dreaming, as it is being newly conceived, creates consciousness and unconsciousness and maintains the difference between the two. The term ‘being asleep’ becomes, in Bion’s hands, a conception of being ‘unconscious of certain elements [the repressed] that cannot penetrate the barrier presented by his “dream”’ (p. 15). And, similarly, being awake is now synonymous with being uninterruptedly conscious of what is going on in waking life (for example, listening to a patient, reading a book or viewing a film). This is achieved by means of waking unconscious dreaming. Both forms of dreaming-that done in sleep and in waking unconscious dreaming-generate a living semi-permeable barrier separating and connecting conscious and unconscious life. In the absence of waking unconscious dreaming, not only would consciousness be overrun by repressed unconscious thoughts and feelings but, in addition, actual experience in the realm of external reality would be unavailable to the individual for purposes of unconscious psychological work. Without undisturbed access to external reality, one has no lived experience to work on or work with.

夢想，從這個角度來看，是讓我們能夠創造和維持圍繞著我們意識生活和潛意識生活之間的區分及其中介對話的心智結構。如果一個人無法做夢，他就無法區分潛意識的心理建構（例如「夢」）和清醒的感知，因此無法入睡，也無法醒來。這兩種狀態是無法區分的，在這種情況下，這個人是精神病患者。比翁觀察到，精神病患者無法區分意識和潛意識的經驗，導致他的「理性思維」中出現一種「奇特的缺乏『共鳴』」（第 15 頁），這表現在他報告的夢境、面部表情、語言模式等方面。
Dreaming, from this vantage point, is what allows us to create and maintain the structure of our mind organised around the differentiation of, and the mediated conversation between, our conscious life and our unconscious life. If a person is unable to dream, he is unable to differentiate between unconscious psychic constructions (e.g. ‘dreams’) and waking perceptions, and, consequently, is unable to go to sleep and unable to wake up. The two states are indistinguishable and in such instances the person is psychotic. Bion observes that the psychotic’s inability to discriminate conscious and unconscious experience results in a ‘peculiar lack of “resonance”’ (p. 15) in his ‘rational thought’, reported dreams, facial expressions, speech patterns and so on:

他（精神病患者）所說的話清晰且表達得很流暢，但卻是單一維度的。它沒有任何意義的附加或隱含。這使得聽者傾向於說「那又怎樣？」它無法引發一連串的思考（第 15-16 頁）。
What he [the psychotic] says clearly and in articulated speech is one-dimensional. It has no overtones or undertones of meaning. It makes the listener inclined to say ‘so what?’ It has no capacity to evoke a train of thought (pp. 15-6).

意識與無意識生活的區別及其相互作用是由夢境所創造的，而不僅僅是反映在夢境中。在這個重要的意義上，夢境使我們成為人類。比翁的「理念」的本質——他對無法做夢的理解——通過一個只有比翁才能寫出的寓言來傳達：
The differentiation of, and interplay between, conscious and unconscious life is created by—not simply reflected in—dreaming. In this important sense, dreaming makes us human. The essence of Bion’s ‘idea’-his conception of not being able to dream-is conveyed in an allegory that could have been written by no psychoanalyst other than Bion:

曾經有人說，一個人做噩夢是因為他消化不良，因此驚慌地醒來。我的版本是：這位沉睡的病人感到驚慌；因為他無法做噩夢，他無法醒來或入睡；自那時以來，他就一直有心理上的消化不良（第 8 頁）。
It used once to be said that a man had a nightmare because he had indigestion and that is why he woke up in a panic. My version is: The sleeping patient is panicked; because he cannot have a nightmare, he cannot wake up or go to sleep; he has had mental indigestion ever since (p. 8).

比昂所隱喻的心理「消化不良」是指一種經歷，這種經歷使人永恆地（「自從」）埋葬在一個無法夢想的（無法消化的）恐慌世界中——這是一種無法用夢想和其他無意識心理工作來處理的恐慌：一種既無法記住也無法忘記的恐慌；既無法保密也無法傳達的恐慌。這是一種只能通過撤離（例如，幻覺或妄想）或消滅（通過碎片化或自殺）來處理的恐慌。
The mental ‘indigestion’ to which Bion is metaphorically referring is the experience of being timelessly (‘ever since’) interred in a world of undreamable (indigestible) panic—a form of panic unavailable for dreaming and other forms of unconscious psychological work: a panic one can neither remember nor forget; neither hold secret nor communicate. It is a panic one can only evacuate (for example, as in hallucination or delusion) or annihilate (through fragmentation or suicide).

比翁的寓言因其能以最簡單的日常詞語和意象傳達普遍真理而具有神話的感覺。
Bion’s allegory has the feel of a myth because of the universal truth it manages to convey in the simplest of everyday words and images.

閱讀博爾赫斯的小說《記憶者富內斯》（1941）時，讓人著迷的是要將比昂對夢境在心智結構中角色的看法以及他對無法做夢後果的觀點放在心上。《記憶者富內斯》是在《從經驗中學習》出版的二十多年之前寫成的。儘管這是時間上的巧合，但在我看來，沒有任何文學作品能像博爾赫斯的《富內斯》那樣成功地在語言的媒介中生動地呈現無法做夢的經歷，並因此無法入睡或醒來。
It is fascinating to read Borges’s fiction ‘Funes the memorious’ (1941), while holding in mind Bion’s conception of the role of dreaming in the structuring of the mind as well as his view of the consequences of not being able to dream. ‘Funes the memorious’ was written more than twenty years prior to the publication of Learning from experience. Despite this accident of time, to my mind, no literary work has succeeded as well as Borges’s ‘Funes’ in bringing to life in the medium of language the experience of not being able to dream and, consequently, not being able to go to sleep or to wake up.

當然，我並不是將博爾赫斯的小說呈現為精神分析數據，甚至也不是作為支持比昂思想的價值或真實性的證據。相反，我是在邀請讀者體驗在驚嘆、玩味以及為比昂與博爾赫斯之間關於無法做夢的想像對話增添自己聲音所帶來的一些樂趣。
Of course, I am not presenting Borges’s fiction as psychoanalytic data or even as supporting evidence for the value or verity of Bion’s ideas. Rather, I am inviting the reader to experience some of the pleasure to be had in marvelling at, playing with and adding his/her own voice to the imaginary conversation between Bion and Borges on the subject of not being able to dream.
《記憶的福內斯》開始，
‘Funes the memorious’ begins,

我記得他（我沒有權利說出這個神聖的動詞，只有一個人有這個權利，而他已經去世）手中握著一朵黑色的熱情花，看到它的樣子是沒有人曾經見過的
I remember him (I have no right to utter this sacred verb, only one man on earth had that right and he is dead) with a dark passion flower in his hand, seeing it as no one has ever
雖然他可能從黎明的微光看到它直到黃昏，但一生都無法真正看見它（第 59 頁）。
seen it, though he might look at it from the twilight of dawn till that of evening, a whole lifetime (p. 59).

這句極其美麗、神秘的開場句子以及隨後的句子，創造出一種吟誦般的、幾乎是崇敬的聲音和節奏，當「我記得」的字眼在頁面上迴響時： 「我記得他」，「我記得（我想）」，「我記得」，「我清楚記得」。
This remarkably beautiful, enigmatic opening sentence and those that immediately follow create an intoning, almost reverential sound and rhythm as the words ‘I remember’ echo down the page: ‘I remember him’, ‘I remember (I think)’, ‘I remember’, ‘I clearly remember’.

隨著故事的展開，博爾赫斯（這個角色和講述者與博爾赫斯，這位作者之間無法明確區分）告訴讀者，他對第一次遇見富內斯的記憶是一幅男孩以「幾乎秘密的腳步」奔跑的畫面（第 60 頁）。「幾乎秘密」這個短語以一種極為簡潔的方式傳達了幾乎每一種經驗——無論是清醒的感知、記憶還是夢境——都具有被感知的事物所隱藏的特質，以及被隱藏的事物所揭示的特質（因為它是幾乎秘密的）。
As the story unfolds, Borges (the character and speaker who cannot be clearly differentiated from Borges, the author) tells the reader that his memory of his first encounter with Funes is an image of a boy running with ‘almost secret footsteps’ (p. 60). The phrase ‘almost secret’ is a wonderfully compact way of conveying how virtually every experience-whether a waking perception, a memory or a dream—has the quality of something hidden (held secret) by what is perceived and of something revealed by what is hidden (in being almost secret).

伊雷尼奧·富內斯似乎總是在奔跑，他是一個瞬間的存在，臉上帶著“香煙”和“尖銳、嘲諷”的聲音。博爾赫斯被告知，富內斯一向避免與人接觸，卻能“無需查詢天空”準確地知道時間——“像一個鐘錶”（第 60 頁）。這位“計時的”（第 61 頁）富內斯被描繪成一個不尋常的男孩：他擁有一種奇異、略帶威脅感的、不完全人類的特質。
Ireneo Funes, who seems always to be running, is a momentary presence with a ‘cigarette in his hard face’ and a ‘shrill, mocking’ voice. Borges is told that Funes, who assiduously avoids contact with people, has the ability, ‘without consulting the sky’, to always know the time precisely-‘like a clock’ (p. 60). The ‘chronometrical’ (p. 61) Funes is presented as no ordinary boy: he has a bizarre, slightly menacing, not fully human quality.

三年後，當他回到第一次遇見富內斯的城鎮時，博爾赫斯被告知那個男孩從馬上摔下來，並且“無望地癱瘓”了
Three years later, on returning to the town where he first encountered Funes, Borges is told that the boy had been thrown from a horse and is ‘hopelessly paralyzed’:

我記得那則新聞在我心中產生的不安魔力的感覺……[聽到這則新聞]有著夢境般的質感，由先前的元素組成……我兩次看到他[躺在他的床上]，在窗戶的鐵柵欄後面，這無情地強調了他作為一個永恆囚犯的狀態……（第 61 頁）。
I remember the sensation of uneasy magic the news produced in me … [Hearing the news] had much of the quality of a dream made up of previous elements … Twice I saw him [lying on his cot] behind the iron grating of the window, which harshly emphasized his condition as a perpetual prisoner … (p. 61).

富內斯很快得知博爾赫斯帶來了三本拉丁文文本以及一本拉丁文詞典（博爾赫斯承認這並非沒有某種自負）。富內斯給博爾赫斯發了一條便條，請求借用其中一本拉丁文書。
Funes soon learns that Borges has brought with him (‘not without a certain vaingloriousness’, Borges admits) three Latin texts as well as a Latin dictionary. Funes dispatches a note to Borges asking to borrow any one of the Latin
與字典一起的卷冊（因為他不懂拉丁文）。他承諾“幾乎立即”歸還它們（在 Funes 所處的世界中，一切都是瞬間的）。博爾赫斯安排將書籍送給 Funes。幾天後，博爾赫斯前往 Funes 與母親同住的房子，在返回布宜諾斯艾利斯之前取回他的書。在昏暗的黃昏中，博爾赫斯穿過一系列房間、走廊和庭院，找到 Funes 在一個“黑暗似乎完全”的後房裡（第 62 頁）。甚至在進入房間之前，博爾赫斯就能聽到 Funes 在“陰鬱的快樂”中講著“羅馬音節”，那些音節是“難以解讀的、無窮無盡的”（第 62 頁）。當晚，博爾赫斯得知 Funes 所講的音節是來自普林尼《自然史》第七卷第二十四章：“該章的主題是記憶；最後的話是 ut nihil non iisdem verbis redderetur auditum [以便沒有聽到的東西可以用相同的話重述]”（第 62 頁）。
volumes along with the dictionary (since he knows not a word of Latin). He promises to return them ‘almost immediately’ (everything is instantaneous in the world Funes occupies). Borges arranges to have the books delivered to Funes. A few days later, Borges goes to the house where Funes lives with his mother to retrieve his books before returning to Buenos Aires. In the dim light of evening, Borges makes his way through a series of rooms, passageways and patios to find Funes in a back room ‘where the darkness seemed complete’ (p. 62). Even before entering the room, Borges can hear Funes who, ‘with morose delight’, is speaking ‘Roman syllables’ that are ‘indecipherable, interminable’ ( p . 62). Later that night, Borges learns that the syllables Funes has been speaking from memory are taken from the twenty-fourth chapter of the seventh book of Pliny’s Naturalis historia: ‘The subject of that chapter is memory; the last words were ut nihil non iisdem verbis redderetur auditum [so that nothing having been heard can be retold in the same words]’ (p. 62).

儘管有幽默的元素（例如，自我諷刺的過度學識展示），但在那尖銳、嘲諷的聲音中卻有一種恐怖感——這更像是一種無形的聲音，而不是一個人在說話——不斷地背誦羅馬音節（無意義的聲音，而不是用作交流符號的單詞）。
Despite the touches of humour (for example, the self-parodying, overdone displays of erudition), there is a sense of horror in the sound of the shrill, mocking voice—more a disembodied voice than a person speaking—endlessly reciting Roman syllables (meaningless sounds as opposed to words used as symbols for purposes of communication).

博爾赫斯描述了他與富內斯共度的那個夜晚發生的一些事情。伊雷尼奧解釋說，在被馬摔下之前，他曾經
Borges describes some of what occurred during the night he spent with Funes. Ireneo explained that, before being thrown by the horse, he had been
所有人類都是什麼：盲目、聾啞、糊塗、心不在焉……他已經像在夢中生活了十九年：他看著卻看不見，聽著卻聽不見，幾乎忘記了一切，幾乎所有的事情。當他跌倒時，他失去了意識；當他醒來時，
what all humans are: blind, deaf, addlebrained, absent-minded … For nineteen years he had lived as one in a dream: he looked without seeing, listened without hearing, forgetting everything, almost everything. When he fell, he became unconscious; when he came to,
當前的情況幾乎因其豐富和尖銳而難以忍受，就像他最遙遠和微不足道的記憶一樣。稍後他得知自己癱瘓了。這個事實幾乎沒有引起他的興趣。他推理（他感覺到）他的不動是最低的代價。現在他的感知和記憶是無誤的（第 63 頁）。
the present was almost intolerable in its richness and sharpness, as were his most distant and trivial memories. Somewhat later he learned that he was paralyzed. The fact scarcely interested him. He reasoned (he felt) that his immobility was a minimum price to pay. Now his perception and his memory were infallible (p. 63).

在十九年裡，富內斯過著「如同在夢中」的生活，而不是一個周期性地醒來和入睡的人。他的生活就像是一場他無法醒來的夢。可以說，在墮落之前，富內斯就像是一個夢中的形象，沒有夢者，或者說是一個他自己夢中的形象，或者是別人夢中的形象。我想，他的生活就像是一隻鳥或其他動物，缺乏對於之間差異的認知。
For nineteen years, Funes had lived ‘as one in a dream’, not as a person cyclically waking and sleeping. He had lived as if in a dream from which he could not wake up. It might be said that, before the fall, Funes had lived as a figure in a dream without a dreamer or perhaps a figure in his own dream or a figure in someone else’s dream. His life-I imagine-was something like that of a bird or other animal in his lack of awareness of the difference between
他自己和他所屬的自然世界。富內斯並不是從太陽或月亮在天空中的位置推斷時間。相反，他是體驗時間；他就是時間，因為他是太陽、月亮、天空、光明和黑暗的一部分。奇妙之處在於他能夠說話，儘管他的言語不過是時鐘每小時的報時聲或黎明時分公雞的啼叫。
himself and the natural world of which he was a part. Funes did not deduce the time from the position of the sun or the moon in the sky. Rather, he experienced the time; he was the time, in as much as he was a part of the sun and the moon and the sky and the light and the dark. The wonder lay in the fact that he could speak, though his speech was little more than the ‘communications’ of the hourly chimes of a clock or the crow of a rooster at daybreak.

在富內斯“醒來”後，他並沒有回到之前的狀態。憑藉他新獲得的“無誤”感知和記憶能力，富內斯
After Funes ‘came to’, he did not return to his previous state. With his newly acquired ‘infallible’ powers of perception and memory, Funes
他熟記 1882 年 4 月 30 日黎明時南方雲朵的形狀，並能將它們與他僅見過一次的西班牙裝訂書本上的斑駁條紋，以及前一天晚上在基布拉喬起義前於內格羅河中划槳所激起的泡沫輪廓進行比較。這些記憶並不簡單；每一個視覺影像都與肌肉感覺、熱感等相連結。（第 63-64 頁）
knew by heart the forms of the southern clouds at dawn on the 30th of April, 1882, and could compare them in his memory with the mottled streaks on a book in Spanish binding he had only seen once and with the outlines of the foam raised by an oar in the Rio Negro the night before the Quebracho uprising. These memories were not simple ones; each visual image was linked to muscular sensations, thermal sensations, etc. (pp. 63-4).

伊雷尼奧在將南方天空中的雲彩、書本的裝訂條紋以及在尼格羅河中划槳所激起的泡沫形狀聯繫在一起，創造了一個聯結網絡，其中每個元素都與其他每個元素相連，這不是根據邏輯或情感聯想的系統，而是純粹的感官聯結（例如形狀、溫度、動覺感受等等）。其結果是一個龐大、蔓延、自我中心、持續擴張的整體。
Ireneo, in linking the clouds in the southern skies, the streaks on the binding of a book and the shape of the foam raised by an oar in the Rio Negro, was creating a network of linkages in which each element is connected with every other element, not according to a system of logical or even emotional associations but by purely sensory linkages (for example, of shape, temperature, kinaesthetic feel and so on). The result is a massive, sprawling, solipsistic, ever-expanding whole.

富內斯發明了自己的數字系統，在這個系統中，每個數字都被一個詞替代，例如，
Funes had invented his own number system in which each number was replaced by a word, for example,
代替七千零十四，鐵路……代替五百，他會說九……我試圖向他解釋[徒勞無功]，這一連串不連貫的術語恰恰與數字系統相反（第 64-65 頁）。
in place of seven thousand fourteen, The Railroad … In place of five hundred, he would say nine … I tried to explain to him [in vain] that this rhapsody of incoherent terms was precisely the opposite of a system of numbers (pp. 64-65).

對於伊雷尼奧來說，感知和記憶是如此精確且細節龐大，以至於他失去了將感知和記憶組織成類別的能力，並失去了對物體在時間和空間中連續性的所有感知
For Ireneo, perceptions and memories were so precise and so massive in detail that he lost the capacity to organise his perceptions and memories into categories and lost all sense of the continuity of objects over time and space:

他不僅難以理解「狗」這個通用符號包含了如此多不同大小和形狀的個體；他還對三點十四分的狗感到困擾（從
Not only was it difficult for him to comprehend that the generic symbol dog embraces so many unlike individuals of diverse size and form; it bothered him that the dog at three fourteen (seen from the
側面) 應該與三點十五分的狗（從正面看）有相同的名字（第 65 頁）。
side) should have the same name as the dog at three fifteen (seen from the front) (p. 65).

在“醒來”之後，富內斯不再像夢中的人物；他變成了一個從未被任何人構思過的“眩暈世界”的夢者（第 65 頁）。這一壯舉中存在一個重大問題。他是他所“夢見”/創造的心理世界中的囚徒。他無法從夢中醒來，因為他無法思考他所感知的事物。博爾赫斯在故事後面陰暗地評論道：“我懷疑……[富內斯]並不太能夠思考。思考就是忘記差異，概括，製造。”
On ‘coming to’, Funes lived no longer like a figure in a dream; he had become like a dreamer of a ‘vertiginous world’ (p. 65) never before conceived of by anyone. There was a major problem inherent in this feat. He was a prisoner in the psychological world he ‘dreamed’/created. He could not wake up from the dreaming in the sense that he could not think about what he was perceiving. Borges darkly comments later in the story, ‘I suspect … that [Funes] was not very capable of thought. To think is to forget differences, generalize, make
抽象（第 66 頁）。Funes 所創造的世界是毫無意義的，因為其部分之間的關係不遵循任何邏輯或甚至非邏輯的系統。Funes 生活在一個他不知道自己正在做夢的無意義夢中。這種「夢」在 Bion（1962）所說的意義上並不是真正的夢——它沒有完成任何心理工作，沒有改變任何事物，也沒有去往任何地方。這種類型的「做夢」，如同幻覺，使得無法區分清醒與做夢，因此，正如 Bion 所觀察到的，無法入睡和醒來。
abstractions’ (p. 66). The world Funes created was meaningless in that relationships among its parts adhered to no system of logic or even of illogic. Funes lived as a dreamer of a meaningless dream that he did not know he was dreaming. Such a ‘dream’ is a dream that is not a genuine dream in Bion’s (1962) sense of the word-it accomplishes no psychological work, it changes nothing and goes nowhere. This type of ‘dreaming’, like an hallucination, makes it impossible to distinguish waking from dreaming and, consequently, as Bion observed, impossible to go to sleep and to wake up.

生活在一個不斷產生無意義「夢想」的狀態中，富內斯發現「對他來說，睡覺是非常困難的」（第 66 頁），這正如比翁所預期的那樣。矛盾的是，對富內斯來說，睡覺意味著能夠從他自創的（類幻覺的）世界中醒來，這個世界充滿了無限的細節，卻加起來毫無意義。睡覺就像是從他沉浸在一片無法利用的感知和「記憶」（類似於比翁的β元素）的海洋中醒來，通過擁有一個真正的夢，來區分意識與無意識的經驗，從而使他能夠醒來（也就是能夠感受到睡眠與清醒之間的區別；夢境與幻覺之間的區別）。
Living as one perpetually producing meaningless ‘dreams’, Funes found that it ‘was [as Bion would have expected] very difficult for him to sleep’ (p. 66). Paradoxically, to sleep, for Funes, would have meant to be able to wake up from his self-created (quasi-hallucinatory) world cluttered with infinite details that add up to nothing. To sleep would have been to wake up from his state of immersion in a sea of unutilisable perceptions and ‘memories’ (akin to Bion’s beta-elements) by having a genuine dream that serves to separate conscious from unconscious experience, thus making it possible to wake up (that is, to be able to feel the difference between sleeping and waking; between dreaming and hallucinating).

在他努力入睡的過程中，富內斯想像著東方有他從未見過的新房子：「他想像它們是黑色的、緊湊的，由均質的黑暗構成；在那個方向，他會轉過臉去以便入睡。」（第 66 頁）
In his effort to sleep, Funes imagined new houses to the east that he had never seen: ‘He imagined them to be black, compact, made of homogeneous darkness; in that direction he would turn his face in order to sleep’ (p. 66).

要能夠入睡——做一個產生無意識夢思的夢——這需要富內斯具備他所缺乏的能力：想像由均質黑暗構成的黑色房屋的能力，並知道自己正在想像（而在醒來時，知道自己曾經入睡和做夢）。對於無法忘記的富內斯來說，他唯一能夠確定能與記憶區分開的想像形式，就是想像什麼。
To be able to sleep-to dream a dream that generates unconscious dream-thoughts-would have required of Funes an ability he lacked: the capacity to imagine the black houses made of homogeneous darkness and to know that he was imagining (and on waking, to know that he had been asleep and dreaming). For Funes, who could not forget, the only form of imagining that he could be certain he could differentiate from remembering was to imagine what
他從未見過的。他所想像的是「同質的黑暗」，對於富內斯來說，這是所有狀態中最令人平靜的，因為他知道這是一個內在的世界，與外部世界截然不同，外部世界毫無意義地充斥著感知和記憶的細節。以這種方式想像，實際上就是在做夢，因為正是做夢區分了內在與外在、想像與現實、意識與無意識；做夢使人能夠醒來。更複雜的是，醒來對富內斯來說並不是一個可以毫無保留地慶祝的勝利，因為他所醒來的世界是一個可怕的充滿人類的世界，他幾乎無法忍受他們的存在。（博爾赫斯，這位作者，也是一位長期遭受失眠困擾的人，與他人相處幾乎讓他無法忍受。）為了入睡，「富內斯也會想像自己在河底，被水流搖擺和消滅」（第 66 頁）。 記憶中影像的無情（河流，而非想像中的河流）在這句話中首先讓位於無影像的、有節奏的感覺聲音（「河流，搖晃」），最終導致名為福內斯的那個無誤感知、無限記憶的心智的消亡。這裡有一種不祥的暗示，死亡（在心理或生理上消亡）可能是福內斯能夠達到的唯一形式的「睡眠」。
he had never seen. What he imagined was ‘homogeneous darkness’, the most calming of all states for Funes because he knew it to be an inner world, different from the external world senselessly teeming and swarming with perceived and remembered details. Imagining in this way is genuinely to dream, for it is dreaming that differentiates the inner and the outer, the imagined and the real, the conscious and the unconscious; it is dreaming from which a person can wake up. To make matters even more complicated, to wake up would not have been a victory to be celebrated unambivalently by Funes because that to which he would have awoken was a frightening world of fully human people whose presence he could hardly bear. (Borges, the author, too, was a man who for long periods of time suffered from insomnia and found being with other people almost unbearable.) In order to sleep, ‘Funes would also imagine himself at the bottom of the river, rocked and annihilated by the current’ (p. 66). The implacability of remembered images (the river, not an imagined river) is giving way in this sentence first to imageless, rhythmic sensation-sounds (‘river, rocked’) and finally to the annihilation of the infallibly perceiving, infinitely remembering mind named Funes. There is an ominous suggestion here that dying (annihilating himself psychically or physically) might be the only form of ‘sleep’ Funes could achieve.

故事簡單而靜靜地結束：「伊雷內奧·富內斯於 1889 年因肺充血去世」（第 66 頁）。富內斯因肺充血而死與比翁的寓言中的病人有著不尋常的相似之處：「沉睡的病人感到恐慌；因為他無法做噩夢，他無法醒來或入睡；自那以後他就一直有心理消化不良」（1962 年，第 8 頁）。
The story closes simply and quietly: ‘Ireneo Funes died in 1889, of congestion of the lungs’ (p. 66). Funes’s death by congestion of the lungs has an uncanny resemblance to the patient in Bion’s allegory: ‘The sleeping patient is panicked; because he cannot have a nightmare, he cannot wake up or go to sleep; he has had mental indigestion ever since’ (1962, p. 8).

美好夢境的對立面不是噩夢，而是一個無法做的夢：本可能成為夢的東西，永遠懸停在一片無人之地，既沒有想像也沒有現實，既沒有遺忘也沒有記憶，既沒有睡眠也沒有醒來。
The opposite of a good dream is not a nightmare but a dream that cannot be dreamt: what might have become a dream remains timelessly suspended in a no-man’s land where there is neither imagination nor reality, neither forgetting nor remembering, neither sleeping nor waking up.

我將從第三個角度來探討無法做夢的意義，這是一個在分析的第三年與一位病人的經歷。
The third vantage point from which I will address the question of what it means to be unable to dream is an experience with a patient that occurred in the third year of the analysis.

當我去見 C 女士進行我們的會議時，打開等候室的門，我驚訝地發現她距離我只有一英尺左右的距離站著。
When I went to meet Ms C for our session, on opening the door to the waiting room, I was startled to find her standing only a foot or so in front of me. The
效果令人不安：我的臉感覺離她太近了。我本能地移開了視線。
effect was disconcerting: my face felt too close to hers. I reflexively averted my gaze.

一旦 C 女士躺在沙發上，我開始對她說在候診室裡剛發生了一些不尋常的事情。她可能注意到我在打開候診室的門時，驚訝地發現她站得比平常更近我。C 女士並沒有回應我對她是否注意到我驚訝的隱含問題。相反，她相當機械地表達了我感覺像是一系列預先包裝的分析觀點：「也許我在性別化或扭曲這個事件。也許我是在憤怒地試圖讓你感到『面對面』。」這些觀點對 C 女士來說似乎是完全可以互換的。她接著詳細發展這些「想法」，讓我感到麻木。
Once Ms C lay down on the couch, I began by saying to her that something unusual had just happened in the waiting room. She had probably noticed that I had been startled to find her standing closer to me than usual when I opened the waiting-room door. Ms C did not respond to my implicit question as to whether she had noticed my surprise. Instead, she rather mechanically delivered what felt to me to be a series of pre-packaged analytic ideas: ‘Perhaps I was sexualising or perverting the event. Maybe I was angrily attempting to be “in your face”’. It seemed that these ideas were, for Ms C, fully interchangeable. She went on to develop these ‘thoughts’ at length in a way that felt numbing.

為了表達一些對我來說與事件中所涉及的感受不那麼脫節的話，我對 C 小姐說，我認為她可能擔心如果不這樣擺放自己，我就不會在候診室看到她。（我們之前談過她感到自己如此微不足道，以至於讓人們像看不見她一樣看透她。）在做出這個詮釋時，我也考慮到了病人對她父母的嘲諷描述，稱他們為「分裂型的人」，雖然出於好意，但卻「完全不知道」病人是誰以及現在是誰。但即使在我說這些話的時候，我的詮釋也感覺和 C 小姐的詮釋一樣空洞。
In an effort to say something that felt to me less disconnected from feelings involved in the event as I had experienced it, I said to Ms C that I thought she might have been afraid that I would not see her in the waiting room had she not positioned herself as she had. (We had talked previously of her sense of being so insubstantial as to lead people to look through her as if she were not there.) In making the interpretation, I also had in mind the patient’s derisive depiction of her parents as ‘schizoid people’, with good intentions but ‘no idea’ who the patient was and is. But even as I was saying these words, my interpretation felt as vacant as those of Ms C.

病人同意了我所說的話，沒有停頓地以我們都熟悉的方式告訴我她一天中發生的種種事件。C 小姐快速地講述，話題一個接一個，每個話題都涉及她“生活組織”的特定方面（這是她和我用來指代她的操作思維和行為的術語）。她告訴我她那天早上跑步的時間，途中在公寓大樓的電梯裡遇到了誰，等等。早期，我對這些看似無窮無盡的生活瑣事的敘述的內容和過程進行了解釋，儘我所能地理解它們。
The patient agreed with what I said and without pause went on in a manner that was familiar to both of us, to tell me about the myriad events of her day. Ms C spoke rapidly, jumping from topic to topic, each of which concerned a specific aspect of the ‘organisation of her life’ (a term she and I used to refer to her operational thinking and behaviour). She told me how long she had jogged that morning, whom she had met in the elevator of her apartment building on the way to and from the run, and so on. Early on, I had interpreted both the content and the process-so far as I thought I understood them-of such recountings of the seemingly inexhaustible minutiae of her life.

隨著時間的推移，我了解到我的解釋對 C 女士不僅毫無價值，還常常適得其反，因為這使她產生了越來越大的言語壓力。此外，我感覺到，我的解釋需求往往是出於想要表明我在房間裡的存在。有時我也意識到，回顧起來，我的解釋在某種程度上是出於憤怒，試圖將病人那似乎無窮無盡的言語和精神分析表述反撲回去，而這些我覺得令人疲憊和窒息。
Over the course of time, I had learned that my interpretations were not only without value to Ms C, they were often counterproductive in that they elicited from her an increasingly pressured flow of verbiage. Moreover, it felt to me that, often, my need to interpret was motivated by a wish to assert the fact that I was present in the room. I was also at times aware retrospectively that my interpretations had been, in part, angry efforts to turn back on the patient her seemingly unending torrent of words and psychoanalytic formulations, which I found depleting and suffocating.

在討論的會議中，C 小姐在談到她早上的活動後，開始講述她前一晚睡得不安穩。她說她在夜裡醒來了四次，每次都起床喝水和上廁所。正如她的特點，她對她所描述的事件沒有提及任何情感反應。在她講話的時候，我的思緒飄到了十五年前我曾經接觸過的一位病人 N 先生。那位病人曾經因為處方麻醉藥物而上癮多年。我回想起在他因為在一次划船事故中受傷而住院的第二天，我與 N 先生的電話交談。在那次電話中，N 先生告訴我，他的病床後面牆壁上不斷傳來二十四小時不停的「購物中心聖誕音樂」，這讓他快要發瘋了。他說他曾多次告訴護士們，但她們卻說無法阻止這種情況。幾週後的 N 先生，
In the session under discussion, after talking about her morning’s activities, Ms C began speaking about having slept restlessly the previous night. She said that she had awoken four times during the night, each time getting up to get a glass of water and to urinate. As was characteristic of her, she made no reference to her emotional response to any of the events she described. As she was speaking, my mind wandered to a patient, Mr N, with whom I had worked more than fifteen years earlier. That patient had been addicted to a prescription narcotic for several years. I recalled speaking to Mr N the day after he had been hospitalised for injuries he had sustained in a boating accident. In that telephone conversation, Mr N told me that nonstop, twenty-four hours a day, ‘shopping centre Christmas music’ was coming from the wall behind his hospital bed, and that it was driving him crazy. He said that he had repeatedly told the nurses about it but that they had said they could do nothing to stop it. MrN , weeks later,
認識到那刺耳的音樂是由於戒斷他所沉迷的麻醉品而產生的聽覺幻覺。對於 N 先生的這種沉思讓我感到非常焦慮，但我對不安的原因卻無法看清。
recognised the grating music to have been an auditory hallucination resulting from drug withdrawal from the narcotic to which he had been addicted. This reverie about Mr N left me feeling extremely anxious but the reasons for my unease were opaque to me.

我的思緒隨之轉向 Ms C 的分析中，有些時候我感到迷失，這種情況在其他病人身上從未經歷過。有幾次我失去了對時間的掌控，不知道我們是否已經超過了會議的結束，或者是否還在會議的中間。在這些時候，我感到極大的焦慮，覺得無法弄清楚我們在會議中的位置。在這樣的時刻，我會盯著辦公室裡的時鐘，卻發現它似乎無神地回望著我，根本無法幫助我緩解困惑和焦慮。我將這些心理狀態視為我失去理智的深刻不安的徵兆。奇怪的是，每次重新找回方向時，這種經歷似乎都相當遙遠，且毫無感情。（博爾赫斯對 Funes 因癱瘓而作出的反應的插入評論捕捉到了那種脫離狀態的本質：“這件事幾乎不引起他的興趣……”)
My thoughts then moved to the fact that in Ms C’s analysis there had been periods of time when I had found myself disorientated in a way, and to a degree, that I had not experienced with any other patient. There had been a number of instances when I had lost track of the time, not knowing whether we had gone on far past the end of the session or whether we were somewhere in the middle of it. I felt terrible anxiety at these times, feeling that I had no way to figure out where we were in the session. At such moments, I would stare at the face of the clock in my office only to find that it seemed to stare back at me blankly, not helping in the least to relieve my confusion and anxiety. I took these mental states as deeply disturbing signs that I was losing my mind. Oddly, each time, on regaining my bearings, the experience seemed quite remote and devoid of feelings. (Borges’s parenthetical comment about Funes’s response to his paralysis captures an essence of that state of detachment: 'The fact scarcely interested him…)

C 小姐接著談到她計劃出售她過去十二年居住的公寓，以及她希望購買一棟房子的願望。她談到擁有一個可以用作書房的獨立房間會是多麼美好，還有她對房地產經紀人催促她將公寓進行“佈置”（由室內設計師裝修和安排）的惱怒。
Ms C then spoke about her plans to sell the condominium in which she had lived for the previous twelve years and her hopes to buy a house. She talked about how nice it would be to have a separate room that she could use as a study, and about her annoyance that her real estate agent was urging her to have her condominium ‘staged’ (outfitted and arranged by an interior decorator
為了增加其吸引力和售價）。這段敘述的任何部分似乎都提供了充足的解釋機會。例如，我可能會將她要求對公寓進行“佈置”的需求與 C 女士感覺她的母親和我無法認識和接受她的真實自我聯繫起來；或者我可以將反覆進水和排空膀胱的循環與她長期以來似乎只接受我的解釋卻很快又排出它們的模式聯繫起來。我避免做出這些以及許多其他可能的解釋，因為我覺得這樣做會使我與病人一起使用語言來掩蓋我對我們恰好在同一個房間的隨意性的感受——那個時刻的房間並不感覺像是一個分析諮詢室。我有意識地努力讓自己明白我在那裡的目的，回想 C 女士最初來見我的原因：她在生活的幾乎每個領域都感到強烈的無意義感，特別是在她努力與一名男性建立愛情關係的過程中。 我回想起她在初次會議中告訴我，她曾經嘗試過各種抗憂鬱藥物，但都沒有成功。我的思緒再次轉向我的前病人 N 先生，以及他在使用處方止痛藥時所遇到的困難。
in order to increase its appeal and selling price). Any part of this account seemingly would have offered ample opportunity for interpretation. For example, I might have linked the demand that her condominium be ‘staged’ to Ms C’s feeling that her mother and I could not recognise and accept her as she really is; or I could have connected the repeated cycle of taking in water and emptying her bladder with her long-standing pattern of seeming to take in my interpretations only to evacuate them shortly thereafter. I refrained from making these and many other possible interpretations because I felt that to have done so would have been to join the patient in the use of words to obscure my feeling of the arbitrariness of our happening to be in the same room-a room that did not feel like an analytic consulting room at that moment. I made a conscious effort to orientate myself to what I was doing there by recalling Ms C’s reasons for having come to see me in the first place: she had felt intense feelings of pointlessness in virtually every sector of her life, particularly in her efforts to develop a love relationship with a man. I recalled her having told me in the initial meeting that she had unsuccessfully tried a variety of anti-depressant medications. My thoughts again turned to my former patient, Mr N , and his difficulties with prescribed pain medications.

當我越想越覺得自己默默地同意了 N 先生對他的聖誕音樂幻覺的「認可」，認為這是一種神經症狀，並不傳達任何可利用的潛意義時，我越來越覺得自己無意中與他共謀，逃避了悲傷的感受。我已經排除了這種不斷播放的購物中心音樂不僅僅是一種神經症狀，而是一種在心理上具有特定潛意義的創作的可能性。這讓我第一次想到，在他可能聽到的所有幻覺聲音中，竟然是無盡、粗俗商業化的聖誕音樂的聲音。這是對音樂（病人深深熱愛的）最糟糕形式的嘲諷聲音，也是對他父母離婚之前的聖誕節的嘲諷，那些聖誕節是 N 先生能記得的最幸福、最充滿愛的家庭活動之一。
As I thought more about my having silently concurred with Mr N’s ‘recognition’ that his Christmas music hallucination was a neurological symptom that conveyed no utilisable unconscious meaning, it increasingly seemed to me that I had unconsciously colluded with him in evading feelings of sadness. I had foreclosed the possibility that the non-stop shopping centre music was not simply a neurological symptom, but a psychologically meaningful creation that held particular unconscious symbolic meaning for him. It occurred to me (for the first time) that, of all the things that he might have hallucinated auditorily, it was the sound of endless, crassly commercialised Christmas music that he had heard. It was the sound of the worst form of mockery, not only of music (which the patient deeply loved), but also of the Christmases before his parents’ divorce, which had been some of the happiest and most loving family events that Mr N could remember.

我對 N 先生的聖誕音樂幻覺的回憶，以及我對此的情感反應和聯想，使我意識到擁有一種幻想——任何幻想——我都可以
My recollections of Mr N’s Christmas music hallucination, and my emotional responses and associations to it, led me to become aware that having a reverie -any reverie-that I could
在我與 C 女士的工作中，分析性地利用是一次極為罕見的事件。並不是說我在與 C 女士的早期會談中沒有走神；此時此刻令我感到驚訝的是，我所做的心理工作是多麼的少。
make use of analytically was an extremely rare event in my work with Ms C. It was not that my thoughts had not wandered during earlier sessions with Ms C; what struck me at this point in the session was how little psychological work I
我能夠與我的幻想經歷相處。這種認識帶來了一種解脫的感覺。
had been able to do with my reverie experiences. There was a feeling of relief in this recognition.

C 小姐開始了下一次的會議，告訴我她前一晚做的夢：‘我在和你進行會議。[C 小姐指著地板。] 這是在早上的這個時候，在這個辦公室裡。就是這次會議。然後似乎轉變了，我來到一個大型辦公室套房的另一部分。那裡有很多房間，不僅僅是這裡真正存在的那些。四處都是。到處都是東西。有舊的發黃的塑料盤，空的油漆罐——我記不清還有什麼——書籍和文件散落在地板上。光是想起來就讓我感到焦慮。我無法分辨這個房間是用來做什麼的。牆邊還有五六幅畫靠著，但我只能看到外面那幅的背面。有一個抽屜我非常想打開看看裡面有什麼，但我在能打開之前就醒了。我對夢被打斷感到非常失望，因為我還沒能看裡面的抽屜。’
Ms C began the next session by telling me a dream ${}^4$${}^4$^(4){ }^{4} that she had had the previous night: ‘I’m at a session with you. [Ms C pointed to the floor.] It’s here in this office in the morning, at this time. It’s this session. Then it seemed to shift and I am in another part of a large office suite. There are lots of rooms, not just the ones that are really here. Hooked around. There was stuff all over the place. There were old yellowing plastic plates, empty paint cans-I can’t remember what else-books and papers strewn all over the floor. It makes me anxious just to think of it. I couldn’t tell what the room was used for. There were also paintings leaning against the wall five or six deep, but I could see only the back of the outside one. There is a desk drawer that I very badly want to open to see what’s inside, but I woke up before I could open it. I was very disappointed that the dream was interrupted before I could look inside the drawer’.

C 女士在告訴我夢境後變得安靜，這很重要，因為對她來說，持續的沉默是非常不尋常的。我感覺她是在邀請我，給我比平常更多的空間來思考和交談（就像夢的第二部分有更多的房間）。我說夢的第一部分似乎是我辦公室的真實影像，毫無修飾。C 女士說：「是的，確實感覺很平淡。」
Ms C was quiet after telling me the dream, which was significant because any sustained silence was highly unusual for her. I felt as if she were inviting meby giving me more room than usual-to think and talk (just as there were more rooms in the second part of the dream). I said that the first part of the dream seemed to be an unadorned image of my office as it ‘really is’. Ms C said, ‘Yes, it did feel flat’.

我告訴她，夢的第二部分對我來說感覺與第一部分非常不同：「它設定在一個不是真實的地方，而是一個想像中的地方——一個比這裡實際上有更多房間的更大地方。」[我想起了 C 小姐希望在她想買的房子裡有一個額外房間的願望，用來思考——一個書房。] 她和我談到了這個房間起初感覺像是一團糟，堆滿了大量的東西，以及她無法確定這個房間功能的感受。我評論了她在夢結束時的失望感。C 小姐回應說，這個夢並沒有讓她感到失望。她說，結尾時發生了一些她難以形容的變化。C 小姐談到了堆在牆邊的畫布，只露出了最外面那一幅的背面，這讓她對畫布正面畫了什麼感到好奇。她說：「在我能看到抽屜裡的東西之前醒來是令人失望的，但這是一種好的失望——如果這有意義的話。」 聽起來很奇怪，但我實際上對今晚可能做的夢感到興奮。
I told her that the second part of the dream felt to me very different from the first: ‘It is set in a place that is not a real place but an imaginary one-a much larger place with many more rooms than there really are here’. [I was reminded of Ms C’s wish to have an extra room in the house she hoped to buy, to use for thinking-a study.] She and I talked about the way in which the room at first felt like a mess, cluttered with an enormous number of things, and about her feeling of being unable to tell what the function of the room was. I commented on her feeling of disappointment at the end of the dream. Ms C responded by saying that the dream had not left her feeling disappointed. She said that something changed at the end that was hard for her to describe. Ms C talked about the canvasses that were stacked against the wall revealing only the back of the outermost of them, which made her curious about what was painted on the fronts of them. She said, ‘It was disappointing to awaken from the dream before I was able to see what was in the drawer, but it was a good disappointment-if that makes any sense. It seems strange to say this, but I actually feel excited about what I might dream tonight’.

C 小姐沉默了幾分鐘。在那段時間裡，我想到了 E，一位交情多年的摯友——一位七十多歲的男人——他在前一年去世了。
Ms C was silent for several minutes. During that time, I thought about E, a close friend for many years-a man in his seventies-who had died the previous
週末。在他去世後的那一週，我不斷地或是有意識地思念他，或是感受到一種模糊的悲傷背景情緒，以及一種缺少某人或某物的感覺。因此，我在這次與 C 女士的會談中思念他的事實，並沒有使這一刻與我那天或那週與其他每位病人的經歷有所區別。然而，與 C 女士的工作中那一刻的獨特之處在於我對 E 的特定感受。對於每位病人（以及每位病人的每一小時），我對 E 的失落感受是特定於當時在潛意識層面上發生的事情。
weekend. During that week following his death, I was continually either consciously thinking of him or experiencing a diffuse background feeling of sadness and a sense of someone or something missing. So the fact that I was thinking about him did not distinguish this moment in the session with Ms C from my experience with each of my other patients that day or that week. However, what was unique to that moment in the work with Ms C was the particular way I was feeling about E. With each patient (and within each hour with each patient), the way in which I experienced the loss of E was specific to what was going on at that moment at an unconscious level in the
${}^4$${}^4$^(4){ }^{4} C 小姐在分析的前一年半中無法回憶起任何夢境。當她在我們工作的第二年結束時開始報告夢境時，她對夢的聯想——在她偶爾有聯想的情況下——非常具體，主要圍繞著她已經意識到的想法。我對這些夢的聯想同樣稀少且表面化，我所做的幾個詮釋感覺勉強且牽強。在其他情況下，病人的夢境感覺死氣沉沉本身就會構成一個重要的意義線索。
${}^4$${}^4$^(4){ }^{4} Ms C had not been able to recall a single dream in the first year-and-a-half of analysis. When she began to report dreams at the end of the second year of our work, her associations to them-in the rare event that she had any at all-were very concrete, largely centring around ideas already conscious to her. My own associations to the dreams had been equally sparse and superficial and the few interpretations I made felt strained and contrived. Under other circumstances, the very fact that the patient’s dreams felt dead would have constituted an important strand of meaning in its own right.
分析關係。在討論 C 女士的夢後的沉默時期，我想起了上個星期六晚上，我和他的妻子及他們的成年子女一起在 E 的床邊度過了一段時間。那時 E 正處於深度昏迷中。我回想起當我握住 E 的手時，感受到的驚訝和寬慰，因為 E 的手感覺是如此溫暖。事實上，當時他已經昏迷了將近一天，這讓我預期他的身體會感到冰冷。
analytic relationship. In the period of silence following the discussion of Ms C’s dream, I thought of the previous Saturday evening during which I had spent some time at E’s bedside along with his wife and their grown children. E was in a deep coma at that point. I recalled the sense of surprise and relief I felt about how warm E’s hands had felt when I held them. The fact that he had been comatose for almost a day at that point had led me to expect that his body would feel cold.

我的思緒從這些關於 E 的影像和感受轉移到我在前一天與 C 小姐在候診室相遇時所感受到的驚訝和不適。那段涉及 E 的手中意外溫暖的沉思促使我意識到，在過去幾週中，我對 C 小姐日益增長的情感。過了一會兒，我對 C 小姐說，我認為在上一次會議中我有些偏離了重點，因為我曾說過我覺得她擔心如果她在我打開門時不站得很近，我就不會注意到她。我告訴她，我現在認為她可能只是想要靠近我，對於當時我沒有讓自己意識到這一點，我感到抱歉。C 小姐哭了。過了一會兒，她感謝我理解了她自己並不知道但卻感到真實的某些事情。她補充說，對她來說，這種情況是很少見的。
My thoughts moved from these images and sensations concerning E to the surprise and discomfort I had felt during the encounter with Ms C in the waiting room on the previous day. The reverie involving the unexpected warmth in E’s hand contributed to my becoming consciously aware of the growing affection I had been feeling for Ms C over the course of the past several weeks. After a time, I said to Ms C that I thought I had been off the mark in the previous session when I said that I thought that she had been worried that I would not notice her in the waiting room if she were not standing very close to me when I opened the door. I told her that I now thought that perhaps she simply had wanted to be close to me and I was sorry that I had not allowed myself to know that at the time. Ms C cried. After a little while, she thanked me for having understood something that she herself had not known but which she nonetheless felt to be true. She added that it was rare for her to
以這種方式了解某件事，而不讓其他一百萬件事情在她的腦海中飛舞。
know something in this way without a million other things flying around in her head.

在那次會議快結束的時候，我感到非常悲傷。當時的 C 女士已經四十多歲，似乎錯過了許多生活中的喜悅與悲傷——就像我錯過了前一天在候診室中感受到的 C 女士對我的溫暖情感（也將錯過與 E 的持續友誼）。對我來說，感受到 C 女士雖然永遠失去了許多活著的機會，但她的生命並未結束，這讓我感到相當安慰。她很美妙地表達了這一點，說她對夢想結束的失望並不是一種沮喪的感覺，而是一種對她當晚可能做的夢的興奮感。
I felt intensely sad at that point in the session, which was almost over. It seemed that Ms C, then in her forties, had missed a good deal of the joys and sorrows of a lived life-as I had missed out on experiencing Ms C’s feelings of warmth towards me the previous day in the waiting room (and would miss out on a continuing friendship with E). It was of considerable comfort to me to feel that, while Ms C had forever lost many opportunities to be alive, her life was not at an end. She had put this quite beautifully in saying that her disappointment at the end of her dream was not a feeling of despondency but a feeling of excitement about what she might dream that night.

C 女士不斷的話語——似乎無法被解釋——在分析的最初幾年中，讓我產生了無助、憤怒和幽閉恐懼的感受（例如，窒息或溺水的感覺）。在我所呈現的兩次會談中的第一次，我的思緒飄到了我以前的病人 N 先生的聖誕音樂幻覺。這些回憶使我想起在與 C 女士的工作中出現的短暫的反移情精神病期間，我對時間感到迷失，不知道我們何時開始，何時結束會談，或我們已經進行到會談的哪個階段。最令人不安的是，我感到在努力定位自己的過程中沒有任何可以依靠的地方。時鐘的面孔讓人感到可怕的空白。
Ms C’s unceasing verbiage-seemingly impervious to interpretation—had engendered in me, during the first years of the analysis, feelings of helplessness, anger and claustrophobic fear (for example, feelings of being suffocated or of drowning). In the first of the two sessions I have presented, my mind wandered to the Christmas music hallucinations of my former patient, Mr N . These recollections led me to think of the brief periods of countertransference psychosis in my work with Ms C, during which I had become lost in relation to time, not knowing when we had begun or what time we were to end the session or how far into the session we were. What was most disturbing about this was the feeling that I had no place to turn in my effort to locate myself. The face of the clock felt frighteningly blank.

只有在事後，我才能將 C 女士分析中的反移情精神病時刻視為她用言語淹沒我的反應（這種感受與博爾赫斯所描述的 Funes 對“羅馬音節”的襲擊的效果相似，這些音節並未作為有意義的語言元素用於象徵性交流）。C 女士不斷的言辭使我無法利用我的白日夢經驗（這對我能夠進行必要的心理工作以“捕捉意圖”（弗洛伊德，1923 年，第 239 頁）來理解分析關係中潛意識層面所發生的事情至關重要）。 （參見 Ogden，1997a，1997b，2001，討論我在分析工作中使用白日夢經驗的情況。）在某種意義上，在與 C 女士的分析中，我經歷了慢性。
Only in retrospect was I able to view the moments of countertransference psychosis in the analysis of Ms C as a response to her having flooded me with words (which I had experienced much as Borges described the effect of Funes’s onslaught of ‘Roman syllables’ that did not function as meaningful elements of language used for purposes of symbolic communication). Ms C’s non-stop verbiage had had the effect of disrupting my capacity to make use of my reverie experience (which is central to my being able to do the psychological work necessary to ‘catch the drift’ (Freud, 1923, p. 239) of what is happening at an unconscious level in the analytic relationship). (See Ogden, 1997a, 1997b, 2001, for discussions of my use of reverie experience in analytic work.) In a sense, in the analysis with Ms C, I was experiencing chronic
夢境剝奪 ${}^5$${}^5$^(5){ }^{5} ，就像睡眠剝奪一樣，可能會引發精神病。反向轉移精神病讓我親身體驗到類似病人無法做夢的精神病經歷（無論是在睡眠中還是無意識地清醒時）。
reverie-deprivation ${}^5$${}^5$^(5){ }^{5} which, like sleep deprivation, can precipitate a psychosis. The counter-transference psychosis allowed me to experience firsthand something like the patient’s psychotic experience of not being able to dream (either while asleep or unconsciously while awake).

我在認識到病人和我在分析環境中無法做夢的程度時，感到相當的解脫——包括我們無法進入可用於與自己和彼此溝通的沉思狀態。Ms C 在這兩次會議的第二次開始時告訴我的夢，對我來說像是一幅三聯畫，其中夢的第一部分是我辦公室“實際上是什麼樣”的平面描繪。就像一張快照，它給人一種簡單、機械地記錄所感知事物的感覺。我將這部分夢視為一個不是夢的夢，而是一個在睡眠中由無法連結的元素組成的視覺影像，並且無法進行任何無意識的心理工作。因此，它並未在病人或我自己的心中引發聯想。Ms C 順從地同意了我對此的描述。
I experienced considerable relief on recognising the degree to which the patient and I had been unable to dream in the analytic setting-including our inability to engage in states of reverie that were utilisable for purposes of communication with ourselves and with one another. The dream Ms C told me at the beginning of the second of these sessions seemed to me a triptych in which the first part of the dream was a flat depiction of the way my office ‘really is’. Like a snapshot, it had the feel of a simple, mechanical registration of what was perceived. I view this part of the dream as a dream that is not a dream, but rather a visual image in sleep that is composed of elements that cannot be linked and upon which no unconscious psychological work can be done. Consequently, it did not give rise to associations in either the patient’s mind or my own. Ms C compliantly agreed with my account of it.

夢的第二部分有著真實夢境的感覺，既描繪了無法做夢的經歷，也表現了無意識的狀態
The second part of the dream had the feel of a genuine dream, both depicting the experience of not being able to dream and doing unconscious
心理工作與那段經歷。 ${}^6$${}^6$^(6){ }^{6} 混亂的房間裡充滿了不連貫的元素——泛黃的塑料盤、空的油漆罐、書籍和文件——一片不相干的元素的泥沼，沒有任何意義。然而，隨著夢境的進展，這些元素被轉化為某種絕非無意義的東西：例如，空的油漆罐在夢中後來與可以用來創作畫作的油漆相連結；人造的想像圖像（尚未出現）。即使是 C 小姐的「隨口」評論，「我不記得房間裡還有什麼」，也反映出病人現在能夠忘記（壓抑）。正如博爾赫斯在談到富內斯時所說的，「思考就是[能夠]忘記差異、概括、進行抽象」。
psychological work with that experience. ${}^6$${}^6$^(6){ }^{6} The chaotic room was filled with disconnected elements-yellowed plastic plates, empty paint cans, books and papers-a morass of disparate elements not adding up to anything. And yet, as the dream proceeded, the elements were transformed into something that was by no means meaningless: the empty paint cans, for example, became linked later in the dream to paint with which paintings could be made; man-made imaginative images (not yet seen). Even Ms C’s ‘throwaway’ comment, ‘I can’t remember what else [was in the room]’, reflected the fact that the patient was now able to forget (repress). As Borges put it, in speaking of Funes, ‘To think is to [be able to] forget differences, generalize, make abstractions’.

夢的第三部分——圍繞著病人對未打開的書桌抽屜內容的強烈好奇——在我看來，涉及到一種生動的緊張關係，這種關係存在於所見（即意識可獲得的內容）和未見（即動態無意識的內容）之間。這個分化的、內部溝通的心智充滿了激發想像力的可能性，就像伊雷尼奧·富內斯的「幾乎秘密的腳步」，並允許無意識和意識的心理工作同時進行。例如，C 女士在修改我對夢的第三部分的回應時做出了深思熟慮的區分：她強調了……
The third part of the dream-centring around the patient’s intense curiosity about the contents of the unopened desk drawer-seems to me to involve an enlivening tension between what is seen (i.e. what is available to conscious awareness) and what is not (i.e. what is dynamically unconscious). The differentiated, internally communicating mind is filled with possibilities that spark the imagination, like the ‘almost secret footsteps’ of Ireneo Funes, and allows for both unconscious and conscious psychological work to be done. For example, Ms C made a thoughtful discrimination in modifying an aspect of my response to the third part of the dream: she emphasised the ascendancy of the
在夢的結尾和她醒來時的感受中，充滿了振奮人心的可能性（與失望相對）。
feeling of enlivening possibility (as opposed to disappointment) in the ending of the dream and in her feelings on awakening from it.

在隨後的幾週中，我對這些會議中一直困擾我的某些事情有了更好的理解。我開始將我在候診室中對 C 女士的焦慮撤退視為我無法夢想 C 女士的情感經歷（她未曾夢想的夢）的表現，這些情感經歷被她轉移到了我身上。一旦我能夠從這個角度觀察分析互動，病人和我就能在會議中創造出一個內心心理-人際的場域。
In the weeks that followed the two sessions I have presented, I became better able to understand something that had continued to trouble me about these meetings. I came to view my anxious withdrawal from Ms C in the waiting room as a manifestation of my inability to dream Ms C’s emotional experience (her undreamt dream) which she had evacuated into me. Once I became able to observe the analytic interaction from this vantage point, it became possible for the patient and me to create in the sessions an intrapsychic-interpersonal field in
在分析會議中其他缺乏沉思的情況下，我發現保持清醒非常困難。在這種情況下出現的半睡眠狀態中，我發現自己會做一些短暫的夢，這些夢感覺與睡眠中發生的夢相似。有時，這些夢的功能似乎是讓我安心，讓我知道自己能夠做夢。在其他時候，這些短暫的夢似乎代表著一種無意識的努力，試圖做出病人此時無法做的夢。在其他情況下，我的「夢」似乎是幻覺（通常是聽覺上的），是用來替代夢境的，旨在掩飾此時病人和我都無法做夢的事實。
${}^5$${}^5$^(5){ }^{5} In other instances of reverie-deprivation in an analytic session, I have experienced great difficulty in staying awake. In the half-sleep state that has occurred under these circumstances, I have found that I dream fleeting dreams that feel similar to those that occur in sleep. At times, it seems that the function of these dreams is that of reassuring myself that I am capable of dreaming. At other times, these fleeting dreams seem to represent an unconscious effort to dream the dream that the patient is unable to dream at that point. In still other instances, my ‘dreams’ seem to be hallucinations (often auditory) that are substitutes for dreaming intended to disguise the fact that at that moment neither the patient, nor I, is able to dream.
${}^6$${}^6$^(6){ }^{6} 只有在我寫這篇論文的時候，我才意識到病人在敘述夢境時時態的變化所帶來的影響，從她講述夢的第一部分時的現在時（「我在」，「這裡有」）的即時性，轉變為講述第二部分時的更遙遠、更具反思性的過去時（「我看了」，「那裡有」）。
${}^6$${}^6$^(6){ }^{6} Only now, as I am writing this paper, am I aware of the effect of the patient’s shifting tenses in recounting the dream, moving from the immediacy of the present tense (‘I’m at’, ‘It’s here’) in her telling the first part of the dream to the more distant, more reflective, past tense (‘I looked’, ‘There was’) in telling the second part.
在這種情況下，我們需要「夢想」轉移-反轉移，並以詮釋的形式口頭象徵我們對這個「夢」的反應。Ms C 和我以這種方式進行的心理工作結果包括對病人與她（內在對象）父親關係的更深入理解。Ms C 談到了她在青春期「失去父親」的經歷。對她來說，當她大約 12 歲時，他突然且完全出乎意料地終止了他們之間一直享有的愛情關係，「就好像這一切從未發生過」。Ms C 以一種模糊的方式知道，但之前無法為自己思考或表達的是，她和她的父親都因為他對她的浪漫和性情感以及她對他的情感而感到害怕。她說：「使這個[情感裂痕]如此悲傷的是，這是如此不必要的。」
which to ‘dream’ the transference-countertransference and to verbally symbolise our responses to that ‘dream’ in the form of interpretations. The outcome of the psychological work that Ms C and I did in this way included a fuller understanding of the patient’s relationship to her (internal object) father. Ms C spoke about her experience of the ‘loss of her father’ during her adolescence. It seemed to her that when she was about 12, he had abruptly, and completely unexpectedly, closed off the loving relationship that the two of them had enjoyed up to that point ‘as if it had never happened’. Ms C had known in a diffuse way, but had not previously been able to think or articulate for herself, that both she and her father had been frightened by the romantic and sexual feelings he felt towards her and she towards him. She said, ‘What makes it [the emotional breach] so sad is that it was so unnecessary’. These
感受和想法被用來進一步進行心理工作，與「候診室事件」相關：病人和我變得更能夠一起夢想（從而生活）那段經歷——這段經歷隨著我們不斷夢想而不斷改變。
feelings and thoughts were used to do further psychological work with ‘the waiting room incident’: the patient and I became better able to dream (and thereby live) that experience together-an experience which kept changing as we kept dreaming it.

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比昂 WR (1962)。從經驗中學習。紐約：基本書籍。
Bion WR (1962). Learning from experience. New York: Basic Books. ٢
博爾赫斯 J.L. (1941)。記憶者富內斯。收錄於《迷宮：選擇的故事及其他著作》，編輯 D. Yates 和 I. Irby。紐約：新方向出版社，1962 年，頁 59-66。
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