Girls to Women.
女孩到女人。

Women to Girls
女性到女孩

BUNNY MCCUNE & DEB TRAUNSTEIN
兔子·麥庫尼和黛布·特勞斯坦

香港公共圖書館 HKPL 3 8888 03833137 1

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Girls to Women, Women to Girls
女孩對女人，女人對女孩

Bunny McCune, C.S.W. & Deb Traunstein, C.S.W.
Bunny McCune，CSW 和 Deb Traunstein，CSW

CELESTIAL ARTS Berkeley, California
天藝藝術 加州柏克萊

с Copyright 1998 by Bunny McCune and Deb Traunstein
© Bunny McCune 和 Deb Traunstein 版權所有 1998

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except brief excerpts for the purpose of review, without the written permission of the publisher.
版權所有。未經出版商書面許可，不得以任何形式複製本書的任何部分，除非出於評論目的進行簡短摘錄。

Α

Celestial Arts P.O. Box 7123 Berkeley, California 94707 website: www.tenspeed.com orders: order@tenspeed.com
Celestial Arts PO Box 7123 Berkeley, California 94707 網址：www.tenspeed.com 訂購：order@tenspeed.com

Distributed in Canada by Ten Speed Canada, in the United Kingdom and Europe by Airlift Books, in New Zealand by Tandem Press, in Australia by Simon & Schuster Australia, in Singapore and Malaysia by Berkeley Books, and in South Africa by Real Books.
在加拿大由 Ten Speed Canada 發行，在英國和歐洲由 Airlift Books 發行，在新西蘭由 Tandem Press 發行，在澳大利亞由 Simon & Schuster Australia 發行，在新加坡和馬來西亞由 Berkeley Books 發行，在南非由 Real Books 發行。

Cover and interior design by Toni Tajima
封面和室內設計由 Toni Tajima 設計

Cover collage created by Heather Garnos
封面拼貼畫由希瑟·加諾斯 (Heather Garnos) 創作

Photographs in collage: girls on car by Amanda Brady; girl in hat by Bunny McCune; old family photo from the collection of Pam Cuesta; authors and daughters by Dede Hatch; beach photo courtesy of Heather Garnos. Author photo on back flap by Dede Hatch
拼貼照片：阿曼達布雷迪 (Amanda Brady) 拍攝的車上女孩； Bunny McCune 的《戴帽子的女孩》；帕姆·奎斯塔 (Pam ​​Cuesta) 收藏的老家庭照片；黛德·哈奇 (Dede Hatch) 的作家和女兒們；海灘照片由希瑟·加諾斯提供。後蓋上的作者照片由 Dede Hatch 拍攝

Interior photographs by Dede Hatch, except: page 1 top, 44, 160 top, 200 bottom by Amanda Brady; page 68 bottom, 130 top by Bunny McCune
室內照片由 Dede Hatch 拍攝，除了：第 1 頁頂部、第 44 頁、第 160 頁頂部、第 200 頁底部由 Amanda Brady 拍攝；第 68 頁底部，第 130 頁頂部 作者：Bunny McCune

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
美國國會圖書館出版資料編目

McCune, Bunny.
麥庫恩，兔子。

Girls to women, women to girls / Bunny McCune & Deb Traunstein.
女孩對女人，女人對女孩/Bunny McCune 和 Deb Traunstein。

p. cm Summary: Writings by girls and women of all ages explore various aspects of being female: body image and self-esteem, friendships, mother-daughter relationships, sexuality, coping with crises, and more. ISBN 0-89087-881-1 (paper) 1. Women-Psychology-Juvenile literature. 2. Girls-Psychology-Juvenile literature. 3. Women- Biograghpy-Juvenile literature. 4. Girls-Biography-Juvenile literature [1. Women. 2. Girls. 3. conduct of life.] 1. Traunstein, Deb. II. Title HQ1206.M263 199
p。 cm 摘要：各個年齡層的女孩和女性的作品探討了女性的各個面向：身體形象和自尊、友誼、母女關係、性、應對危機等等。 ISBN 0-89087-881-1（論文） 1. 女性-心理學-青少年文學。 2.少女-心理學-青少年文學。 3.女性-傳記-青少年文學。 4. 女孩-傳記-青少年文學[1。女性。 2.女孩。 3. 生活行為。二.標題 HQ1206.M263 199

305.42-dc21

First printing, 1998
首次印刷，1998 年

Printed in the United States
美國印刷

98-35798 CIP

34567-02 01 00 99

AC
交流電

Contents
內容

1: A Woman Is...: The Many Faces of Womanhood
1：女人是…：女性的多面性

1

2: More Than One Way to Look in the Mirror: Body Image and Self-Esteem...
2：照鏡子的方式不只一種：身體形象和自尊......

3: There's a Voice Inside This Body:
3：身體裡有個聲音：

Holding On to Who You Really Are
堅持真實的自己

22

4: Fitting In: Peers, Friends, and the Social Scene. 88 68
4：融入：同儕、朋友和社交場景。 88 68

44

5: Come Close, Go Away: The Drama of Mother-Daughter Relationships... .90
5：靠近，離開：母女關係的戲劇.......90

6: So What's the Big Deal?:
6：那麼有什麼大不了的？

The Meaning of Menstruation.
月經的意義。

112

7: More Than You Learned in Health Class: Sexuality, Sensuality, and First Loves.
7：比你在健康課上學到的更多：性、性感和初戀。

130

8: How Can I Handle One More Thing?:
8：我怎樣才能處理另一件事？

Crisis in Adolescence
青春期危機

160

9: The Men in Our Lives: Messages from Dads and Men Who Father. 184
9：我們生活中的男人：來自父親和父親的男人的訊息。 184

10: Honoring This Time: Treasures, Blessings, and Dreams. . 200
10：紀念這次：寶藏、祝福和夢想。 。 200

We proudly dedicate this book to our mothers, Mary Jane Parker and Patti Jo Fulmer, and our daughters, Chelsea, Kelly, and Jamie.
我們自豪地將本書獻給我們的母親瑪麗·簡·帕克和帕蒂·喬·富爾默，以及我們的女兒切爾西、凱莉和傑米。

We would especially like to honor Mary Durham, who, at age ninety-eight, shares the wisdom of her years while letting the girl within her shine.
我們要特別向瑪麗·達勒姆表示敬意，她在九十八歲時分享了她歲月的智慧，同時讓她內心的女孩光芒四射。

E♡

Thanks
謝謝

From the moment the idea for this book was born, we have felt a presence much greater than ourselves, guiding us, encouraging us, and blessing this project. In addition to the energy that power provided us, countless people have contributed to this book's unfolding.
從這本書的想法誕生的那一刻起，我們就感受到了比我們自己更偉大的存在，引導我們、鼓勵我們並祝福這個計畫。除了權力為我們提供的能量之外，無數人也為本書的發展做出了貢獻。

To the thousands of girls and women from around the world who so freely shared their stories and themselves, thanks from the bottom of our hearts. Without you, this book would still be a great idea waiting to happen. Special recognition goes to all who attended the numerous writing groups and gatherings, where generations of girls and women were celebrated, and rich writings and creative ideas for the book were harvested. To our publisher, David Hinds, and our editor, Heather Garnos... many thanks for seeing our vision so early in the book's evolution. Your skills, support, and leadership are deeply appreciated, as are the efforts of the many other wonderful folks at Celestial Arts. Special thanks to Toni Tajima for the beautiful design.
對於來自世界各地的成千上萬的女孩和婦女如此自由地分享她們的故事和自己，我們發自內心的感謝。如果沒有你，這本書仍然會是一個等待實現的好主意。特別感謝所有參加眾多寫作小組和聚會的人，在這些聚會和聚會上，一代又一代的女孩和婦女得到了慶祝，並收穫了豐富的寫作和本書的創意。感謝我們的出版商 David Hinds 和編輯 Heather Garnos……非常感謝您在本書發展初期就看到了我們的願景。我們深深感謝您的技能、支持和領導力，以及天藝許多其他優秀人員的努力。特別感謝 Toni Tajima 的精美設計。

Thanks to our friends here in Ithaca, whose love and support remained solid, even when the only words out of our mouths were related to the book! Warmest thanks are also offered to our friends on the West Coast, who are always there for us, pointing out possibilities rather than problems, and adding an element of fun to the journey. Dede Hatch and Amanda Brady, our photographers, deserve special recognition for seeing the vision of the book through the lens of a camera. Extra- special thanks to Hugh, Pam, and John, our legal eagles. And finally to our husbands and children... Dave, Russ, Jamie, Kelly, Chelsea, Noah, and Ryan. You patiently supported us as we altered our families' lives for over a year to devote time and energy to this amazing project. We are grateful to all of you.
感謝我們在伊薩卡島的朋友們，即使我們嘴裡說的唯一的話都是與這本書有關的，他們的愛和支持仍然堅定！也要衷心感謝我們在西海岸的朋友，他們總是在我們身邊，為我們指出可能性而不是問題，並為旅程增添樂趣。我們的攝影師 Dede Hatch 和 Amanda Brady 透過相機鏡頭看到了這本書的願景，值得特別認可。特別感謝休、帕姆和約翰，我們的法律老鷹。最後是我們的丈夫和孩子……戴夫、拉斯、傑米、凱利、切爾西、諾亞和瑞安。在我們改變家庭生活的一年多時間裡，你們耐心地支持了我們，為這個令人驚嘆的計畫投入了時間和精力。我們對你們所有人表示感謝。

VII
七

From the Authors...
來自作者...

Years ago, when our daughters were first born, we looked into their eyes and recognized a part of ourselves. As females, we shared not only similar body parts but a woman's way of looking at the world. Mothering came naturally to us in those early years, and we were excited to watch our daughters grow from girls to women, just as we had.
多年前，當我們的女兒出生時，我們看著她們的眼睛，認出了自己的一部分。身為女性，我們不僅擁有相似的身體部位，也擁有相似的女性看待世界的方式。早年，母性對我們來說是很自然的事情，我們很高興看到我們的女兒像我們一樣從女孩成長為女人。

Nearly two years ago, the rich reality of parenting teenage daughters hit home. Adolescence is a complicated time. Kids start craving independence, parents have to learn to let go, and communication gets challenging. We began to question our instincts as moms.
大約兩年前，養育青少年女兒的豐富現實觸動了我們的心。青春期是一個複雜的時期。孩子開始渴望獨立，父母必須學會放手，溝通變得具有挑戰性。我們開始質疑自己身為母親的直覺。

Looking for support, we told each other about books we had read, workshops we had attended, and shared stories from our daughters' lives. We were trying hard to be the best moms we could be, but despite what we knew about child development and our training as family therapists, something was missing. The wisdom we looked for wasn't in self-help manuals on "how to survive adolescence." In fact, we were frustrated that many of the books on the market seemed to add to the negative light already shed on teenagers today. We weren't interested in simply surviving adolescence; we wanted to celebrate it. We wanted our daughters to grow
為了尋求支持，我們互相講述我們讀過的書、我們參加過的研討會，並分享我們女兒的生活故事。我們努力成為最好的媽媽，但儘管我們了解兒童發展以及家庭治療師的培訓，但還是缺少一些東西。我們尋找的智慧並不存在於「如何度過青春期」的自助手冊中。事實上，令我們感到沮喪的是，市場上的許多書籍似乎加劇了當今青少年已經受到的負面影響。我們對簡單地度過青春期不感興趣；我們對它感興趣。我們想慶祝一下。我們希望我們的女兒成長

up knowing themselves and appreciating their own gifts as women in the world. After reaching for guidance nearly everywhere, we finally realized that the truth we needed was right in front of us all along... within our own stories and within the stories of the great women in our lives!
作為世界上的女性，了解自己並欣賞自己的天賦。在幾乎到處尋求指導後，我們終於意識到，我們需要的真相一直就在我們面前......在我們自己的故事中，在我們生活中偉大女性的故事中！

As a way to collect wisdom for our daughters, we began talking with women and girls. We invited them to write, to meet in small groups, and to share what it
作為為我們的女兒們收集智慧的一種方式，我們開始與婦女和女孩交談。我們邀請他們寫作、以小組形式會面並分享內容

means to be a female in today's world. A tiny pebble dropped into the huge pool of women's wisdom created waves of possibility, and we became part of something much bigger than we had ever expected. Over and over girls and women said, "Thank you for asking me to tell my story." "I am glad to have the chance to pass on what I've learned." "Why haven't we done this before?" What began as a simple gathering of writings for our three daughters became an amazing treasury from girls and wornen all over the world. Intergenerational connection and collective wisdom became the themes of this book and its truth became clear: as girls and women, we are in this together.
意味著成為當今世界的女性。一顆小小的鵝卵石落入女性智慧的巨大池中，創造了可能性的浪潮，我們成為了比我們想像的更大的事物的一部分。女孩和女人一次又一次地說：“謝謝你讓我講述我的故事。” “我很高興有機會傳授我所學到的東西。” “為什麼我們以前沒有這樣做過？”最初只是為我們三個女兒收集的一些簡單的作品，後來變成了來自世界各地的女孩和磨損者的驚人寶庫。代際連結和集體智慧成為這本書的主題，它的真理變得清晰：作為女孩和婦女，我們在一起。

X

A Message to Girls...
給女孩的一封信...

This is a book for every girl who is becoming a woman. Imagine yourself standing at a crossroads, in a place where many different paths come together. Behind you is your childhood: playgrounds, nightmares, lollipops, and secret forts made out of blankets. But standing here between girlhood and womanhood, your life is getting more complicated. You face new responsibilities and important choices. Hormones, peer pressure, and messages from the world in which you live can spin you around and make you dizzy. Just when it's time for you to take your first steps into womanhood, it's hard to know which way to go!
這是一本寫給每一個正在成為女人的女孩的書。想像一下自己站在一個十字路口，許多不同的道路交會在一起。你的身後是你的童年：遊樂場、惡夢、棒棒糖和用毯子做的秘密堡壘。但站在少女時代和成年女性之間，你的生活變得更加複雜。您面臨新的責任和重要的選擇。荷爾蒙、同儕壓力和來自你所生活的世界的訊息會讓你旋轉並讓你頭暈。當您踏出成為女性的第一步時，很難知道該走哪條路！

Becoming a woman is not always easy. There is no yellow brick road, no trail of
成為女性並不總是那麼容易。沒有黃磚路，沒有蹤跡

bread crumbs, and no fairy godmother to point you in the right direction. But you are not alone. There are many girls and women who have traveled these roads before, and they have stories and ideas that can help you find your own way. This is your book. This is your place to gather wisdom and to learn from the stories already written here. Let these pages overflow with the insights you collect, and you will create your own treasure map to discover the woman within you. At the end of each chapter is a place for you to write down your life stories and ask other women and girls to share theirs. Add your own photographs and art. Write down what you already know about being a girl. If you do, there will never be another book just like this one. There will never be another you.
麵包屑，沒有仙女教母為你指引正確的方向。但你並不孤單。有許多女孩和婦女曾經走過這些路，她們的故事和想法可以幫助您找到自己的路。這是你的書。這是您收集智慧並從此處已寫的故事中學習的地方。讓這些頁面充滿您收集的見解，您將創建自己的藏寶圖來發現您內心的女人。在每一章的結尾，您都可以寫下自己的生活故事，並請其他婦女和女孩分享她們的生活故事。添加您自己的照片和藝術品。寫下你已經知道的關於身為女孩的事。如果你這樣做了，就再也不會有像這本書一樣的書了。永遠不會有另一個你。

X

You may not agree with all of what you read here, and that's okay. Figuring out what fits and doesn't fit for you is part of becoming a woman. Sift through these writings and hold on to the stories that stir something inside of you. This collection doesn't include every girl's and every woman's view on being female. Find out what's missing for you, and gather those stories from the people in your life. You can be your own teacher. Follow your questions and they will lead you down your own path.
您可能不同意您在這裡讀到的所有內容，但這沒關係。弄清楚什麼適合你，什麼不適合你是成為女人的一部分。仔細閱讀這些作品，抓住那些能激發你內心的故事。本系列並不包含每個女孩和每個女人對女性的看法。找出你缺少什麼，並從你生活中的人那裡收集這些故事。你可以成為自己的老師。追隨您的問題，它們將引導您走上自己的道路。

There is no right way to use this book. You don't have to read it from cover to cover. We've included writings on everything from body image and mother-daughter relationships to sex and menstruation. There may be days when one chapter grabs your attention, and other times when you simply want to look at the photographs. There will be times when your life feels easy and smooth and you won't even want to look at this stuff. That's okay! It's a book to grow with.
沒有正確的方法來使用這本書。您不必從頭到尾閱讀它。我們收錄了從身體形象、母女關係到性和月經等各方面的文章。有時，某一章會吸引您的注意力，有時您只想看照片。有時候，你的生活會感覺輕鬆、順利，你甚至不想看這些東西。沒關係！這是一本可以陪伴我成長的書。

We hope that these writings will inspire you to talk with girls and women in your life and to look for intergenerational connections that can support you as you grow.
我們希望這些文章能激勵您與生活中的女孩和女性交談，並尋找能夠在您成長過程中支持您的代際聯繫。

XI
十一

A Woman Is....
一個女人是…

JUNIOR 746 SPECIAL
少年746特別

The Many Faces of Womanhood
女性的多面性

H ow do you really feel about being a girl? For most of us, there are things we love about being female and things that we absolutely hate. For example, we may love that we are emo- tional beings, can give birth, and have deep and lasting friendships with other women. We may hate menstrual cramps, being seen as sex objects, or the fact that it's hard for girls and women to pee in the woods! Being female is a mixed bag, but we can learn to like it.
身為一個女孩，你的真實感受如何？對我們大多數人來說，身為女性，有些事情是我們喜歡的，有些事情是我們絕對討厭的。例如，我們可能喜歡自己是有情感的人，能夠生育，並且與其他女性有著深厚而持久的友誼。我們可能討厭月經來潮、被視為性對象，或者女孩和女人很難在樹林裡小便！身為女性是一個複雜的過程，但我們可以學會喜歡它。

The girls and women in this chapter speak openly about the many sides of being female. Their femininity is celebrated, yet they also wrestle with tough issues like sex discrimination. They ponder difficult questions...when do we really cross over from girlhood to womanhood? In what ways are guys and girls similar or different? How do we honor ourselves as women and girls while still accepting boys and men for who they are?
本章中的女孩和婦女公開談論女性的許多方面。她們的女性氣質受到讚揚，但她們也面臨性別歧視等棘手問題。他們思考難題……我們什麼時候才能真正從少女時代跨越到女性時代？男孩和女孩在哪些方面相似或不同？我們如何在尊重自己作為女性和女孩的同時仍然接受男孩和男人的本來面目？

Celebrate who you are becoming! Gather ideas from this chapter and from the women and girls in your life. Put them all together, and then take a long look at what it means to be a woman.
慶祝你正在成為誰！從本章以及你生活中的婦女和女孩那裡收集想法。把它們放在一起，然後仔細看看作為一個女人意味著什麼。

When girls get together, magic happens! The following poem came to life one morning when a gathering of girls decided that each one would say a word or phrase about womanhood. One word flowed into the next, and soon a poem was born. Let your creativity help you understand what it means to be a woman.
當女孩們聚在一起時，奇蹟就會發生！一天早上，當一群女孩聚集在一起決定每個人都說一個關於女性氣質的單字或短語時，以下這首詩就誕生了。一字一句接著一字，一首詩很快就誕生了。讓您的創造力幫助您了解身為女性意味著什麼。

WOMAN
女士

Flowing past peaceful water,
流過平靜的水面，

Wild wind, powerful and fertile.
狂野的風，強大而肥沃。

Strength from the moon, mystical female,
來自月亮的力量，神秘的女性，

Hips, breasts, belly, curved, straight, and kind.
臀部、胸部、腹部，彎曲的、筆直的、善良的。

Crazy, hot, cold, scantily clad.
瘋狂、炎熱、寒冷、衣著暴露。

Running courageously, active, yet lost within. Comforting mother, beautiful woman,
勇敢地奔跑，活躍，但內心迷失。安慰母親，美麗的女人，

Loving, healing, funny chick.
充滿愛心、療癒系、有趣的小妞。

Sweet, complicated Me.
甜蜜而複雜的我。

~The girls of the Alternative Community School, Ithaca, NY
~紐約州伊薩卡另類社區學校的女孩們

2

Feminine
女性化

I appreciate what makes me unique as a woman. I realize the power in the softness of my body, the strength of my curves and valleys, my connection to the natural world. I sense the pulse of life in my blood.
我很欣賞我作為一個女人的獨特之處。我意識到我身體的柔軟的力量，我的曲線和山谷的力量，我與自然世界的連結。我感覺到血液中生命的脈動。

I honor my ability to create, to bring forth life, and beauty, and art. To write stories, to make music, to dance, and to weave all the textures of my life into one. I learn to trust the wisdom of my emotions, washing through me like a river, cleansing me and guiding me down into the caverns of my life.
我尊重自己創造、帶來生命、美和藝術的能力。寫故事、創作音樂、跳舞，並將我生活的所有元素編織成一體。我學會相信自己情感的智慧，它像河流一樣沖刷我，淨化我，引導我進入生命的洞穴。

I see my connection to other women, ancient rhythms pulling us together. We bleed and bless and birth with each other, for each other, in each other. I am so grateful to be a part of this sacred circle of sisters. Soft and open, strong and full.
我看到了我與其他女性的聯繫，古老的節奏將我們聚集在一起。我們彼此流血、祝福、誕生，為彼此，在彼此之中。我很高興能成為這個神聖的姊妹圈的一員。柔軟而開放，強勁飽滿。

~ KATHRYN, 42
〜凱瑟琳，42 歲

Let's Go, Girls!
走吧，女孩們！

Sometimes I think that growing up and being a girl are hard things to do. Even at my age, there are so many questions. What is it going to be like to get my period? How old should I be when I get a boyfriend? Do I have to be like my mom, or should I try to be different from her? And all of the friend stuff...whew! One day my friends will be in a great mood, and we'll be getting along just fine. Then the very next day, somebody gets mad at someone else because she played with you and not with her, and oh! I think it's all so silly sometimes!
有時我覺得成長和成為一個女孩是一件很難的事。即使到了我這個年紀，仍有許多疑問。月經來會是什麼樣子？我應該幾歲交男朋友？我必須像我媽媽一樣，還是我應該嘗試與她不同？還有所有朋友的東西......哇！有一天我的朋友們心情會很好，我們也會相處得很好。然後第二天，有人對別人生氣，因為她和你一起玩，而不是和她一起玩，哦！我覺得有時候這一切都是那麼愚蠢！

There are a lot of things about being a girl that are fun, though. We can be goofy and play, or we can cry if we want to and nobody thinks it's weird. We can be really close friends, and be good to one another. We can be strong and play whatever sport we want to, even ice hockey and lacrosse. Girls and women have come a long way from how things used to be. Everyday, we need to say, "Let's go, girls!"
不過，身為一個女孩，有很多有趣的事。我們可以傻乎乎地玩耍，或者如果我們願意的話我們可以哭泣，而沒有人認為這很奇怪。我們可以成為非常親密的朋友，並且彼此友善。我們可以變得堅強，參加任何我們想要的運動，甚至是冰球和長曲棍球。女孩和婦女與過去相比已經有了很大的進步。每天，我們都需要說：“走吧，女孩們！”

~ ALLISON, 10
〜艾莉森，10

Girls and women are beginning to celebrate themselves more and more. As time passes, opportunities that were once closed are opening up, and there is a positive spirit at work in our world. Here are some reasons why women and girls like being female....
女孩和婦女開始越來越多地慶祝自己。隨著時間的流逝，曾經關閉的機會正在開放，我們的世界充滿了積極的精神。以下是女性和女孩喜歡成為女性的一些原因...

"Women can reinvent themselves with the flick of a lipstick, by changing their hairstyles, or by wearing far-out clothes."
“女性可以通過塗口紅、改變髮型或穿奇特的衣服來重塑自己。”

"We can do more things at the same time than guys can. They can focus better on one thing, but we can accomplish a lot more in less time."
“我們可以比男人同時做更多的事情。他們可以更好地專注於一件事，但我們可以在更短的時間內完成更多的事情。”

"Girls can do both feminine and masculine things easier than boys can. The other day I was playing ice hockey, and got a penalty for roughing. A few hours later, I went to my school formal, dressed in velvet and lace and high heels. Could a boy do that? I doubt it!"
「女孩比男孩更容易做女性化和男性化的事情。前幾天我在打冰球，因粗暴而受到處罰。幾個小時後，我穿著天鵝絨、蕾絲和高跟鞋去參加學校禮服。 ……我懷疑男孩能這麼做嗎？

"If you cry during a movie, no one thinks it's weird."
“如果你在看電影時哭泣，沒有人會認為這很奇怪。”

"Women and girls can walk arm in arm, or even greet one another in public with a kiss, and no one thinks it's strange. I never see guys doing that."
“女人和女孩可以挽著手走路，甚至在公共場合親吻打招呼，沒有人認為這很奇怪。我從來沒有見過男人這樣做。”

"We feel powerful because of all the years that we weren't allowed to be ourselves. Anything is possible for girls and women now!"
“我們感到自己很強大，因為多年來我們不被允許做自己。現在對於女孩和女人來說一切皆有可能！”

Curves
曲線

There are many things I enjoy about being a woman. The curves of the female body are incredible... flowing lines, like ocean waves as they hit the rocks and the sand. The bodies of men seem to be filled with more angles and sharp edges. Women's bodies often flow from one part to another, gently curving away from their centers.
身為一個女人，我有很多享受的事情。女性身體的曲線令人難以置信……流動的線條，就像海浪拍打岩石和沙子一樣。男人的身體似乎充滿了更多的稜角和鋒利的邊緣。女性的身體經常從一個部位流向另一個部位，輕輕地彎曲遠離她們的中心。

As a woman, I feel such a connection with the moon and its cycles. It controls my rhythms month by month, at the same time overseeing Mother Nature's tides. How incredible this is! My singular body and all of nature are one with the moon.
身為女性，我感受到與月亮及其週期的連結。它控制我每個月的節奏，同時監督著大自然的潮汐。這是多麼不可思議啊！我的單一身體和所有自然與月亮合而為一。

~ ANONYMOUs, 19
~ 匿名者，19

Celebrate!
慶祝！

I celebrate my life as a woman each and every day!
我每天都在慶祝我作為一個女人的生活！

I'm glad the Earth holds a wide variety of people, especially female and male. But when it comes right down to it, I feel like I pulled the longest straw, rolled the highest dice, won the ultimate race in this life by being given the chance to be called "woman."
我很高興地球上有各種各樣的人，尤其是女性和男性。但歸根結底，我覺得我拉了最長的救命稻草，擲了最高的骰子，贏得了這一生的終極比賽，因為有機會被稱為「女人」。

I am a risk-taker, I am strong. I feel, I dance, I express myself, without hesitation. I give birth, I comfort, I hold tight and try to know when to let go. I can be feather-soft or granite-hard, and both are equally acceptable. I balance demands from twelve different directions without crashing from the weight of it all. Being a woman brings challenges, too, but we all have the power within us to meet head-on whatever falls into our paths.
我是一個敢於冒險的人，我很堅強。我感覺、跳舞、我表達自己，毫不猶豫。我生孩子，我安慰，我緊緊抓住，並試著知道何時放手。我可以像羽毛一樣柔軟，也可以像花崗岩一樣堅硬，兩者都同樣可以接受。我平衡​​來自十二個不同方向的需求，而不會因這一切的重量而崩潰。身為女性也會帶來挑戰，但我們都有內在的力量去面對我們所遇到的任何事情。

Womanhood is a wonderful place to spend a life!
女人味是度過一生的美好場所！

~ ELLEN, 52, FEMINIST
~ 艾倫，52 歲，女權主義者

S

Being Female Is a Plus!
身為女性是一種優勢！

There are many positives about being a female in our society today. I wouldn't consider myself a "poster child" for femininity. However, some aspects of my femaleness are extremely valuable. Women are often sensitive, emotional creatures who know how to understand each other. I like that my few close friends are in touch with what I am going through. Being female provides a basis for understanding moods, actions, and feelings. Being emotional doesn't mean we are weak. Women can be strong and confident, while being sensitive and intuitive.
在現今社會，女性有很多正面積極的一面。我不認為自己是女性氣質的「典範」。然而，我的女性特質的某些方面非常有價值。女性往往是敏感、情緒化的生物，她們知道如何互相理解。我喜歡我的幾個親密朋友能夠了解我正在經歷的事情。女性身分為理解情緒、行為和感受提供了基礎。情緒化並不代表我們軟弱。女性可以堅強、自信，同時也可以敏感、直覺。

I also like that as a female, I sometimes get to be taken care of. I like to be in charge, yet it feels good to have someone else take over once in a while. I like when my boyfriend opens the door for me, yet I also do it for him. I don't consider myself delicate, and I don't wait around for things to happen to me, yet the few times I have been asked out on an actual date and the man paid for everything, it made me glad to be a woman. It's fun when I can say, "So this is what it is like to be treated like a lady!"
我也喜歡身為女性，有時我會受到照顧。我喜歡負責，但偶爾讓別人接手的感覺也很好。我喜歡男友為我開門，但我也會為他這麼做。我不認為自己嬌弱，也不會等待發生在我身上的事情，但有幾次我被邀請出去約會，而男人支付了所有費用，這讓我很高興成為一個女人。當我可以說：「這就是被當作女士對待的感覺！」時，這很有趣。

My male friends say they like being male because they have the upper hand in society. They feel that they are respected more than women are sometimes. However, these friends also say that this is the part of being male that they like the least! They feel that men sometimes have too much responsibility on their shoulders, and also dislike being stereotyped as non-feeling, cold human beings. They feel they deserve to be considered emotional as well.
我的男性朋友說他們喜歡男性，因為他們在社會上佔上風。他們有時覺得自己比女性更受尊重。不過，這些朋友也表示，這是他們最不喜歡的男性角色！她們覺得男人有時肩上的責任太多，也不喜歡被刻板印象為沒有感情、冷酷的人。他們覺得自己也應該被認為是情緒化的。

6

~JODI, 19
~喬迪，19 歲

6

Girls have many ideas about when they can officially be called "women." Are we no longer girls when we are eighteen and legally adults? Is it when we begin to menstruate, or when we first see our male friends in a different way? Certain events in our lives make this change more real to us, but the emotional journey is not so clear....
對於何時正式被稱為“女性”，女孩們有很多想法。當我們十八歲，成為法定成年人時，我們就不再是女孩了嗎？是當我們開始月經的時候，還是當我們第一次以不同的方式見到我們的男性朋友時？我們生活中的某些事件使這種變化對我們來說更加真實，但情感歷程卻不那麼清晰...

When?
什麼時候？

Funny, it seems that no one can really say at what point a girl becomes a woman. Some say it's when she first gets her period. I remember sitting in a dark room, playing Truth or Dare with my cousins. The question was asked, "Are you a woman?" What they meant was, "Have you gotten your period yet?" To say it that way made us laugh, but in many ways, you are a woman when you have it. Others say you are a woman when you turn eighteen. When you can vote...or when you go away to college. But maybe it's when you turn Sweet Sixteen. You can learn to drive then...does that mean you are a woman?
有趣的是，似乎沒有人能真正說出女孩在什麼時候成為女人。有人說這是她第一次來月經的時候。我記得坐在一間黑暗的房間裡，和我的表兄弟玩真心話大冒險。有人問：“你是女人嗎？”他們的意思是，“你來月經了嗎？”這樣說讓我們笑了，但在很多方面，當你擁有它時，你就是一個女人。有人說十八歲就是女人了。當你可以投票的時候…或是當你去上大學的時候。但也許是當你進入甜蜜十六歲的時候。那你就可以學開車了……這是否代表你是個女人？

Sometimes I feel as though I am trudging through life. It all goes so slowly. When will I be grown up? When will I be a woman?
有時我覺得自己好像在艱難地度過人生。一切都進行得如此緩慢。我什麼時候才能長大呢？我什麼時候才能成為女人？

~ CAITLYN, 14
~ 凱特琳，14 歲

Leaving My Cocoon
離開我的繭

Something's changing deep inside of me, and I don't really know what it is, when it began, or how to describe it. I think I'm moving further away from my childhood, and it feels like I'm slowly, secretly losing something very familiar and safe. I'm sad, confused, and scared, but I'm also a little bit excited about who I'm becoming. I'm in my cocoon, and the next step is to change into a butterfly. For the first time, I'll be able to fly! But all I've known is life as a caterpillar, with lots of tiny legs to hold me to the ground.
我內心深處有些東西正在發生變化，我真的不知道它是什麼，什麼時候開始的，或是如何描述它。我覺得我離童年越來越遠了，感覺就像我正在慢慢地、秘密地失去一些非常熟悉和安全的東西。我感到悲傷、困惑和害怕，但我也對自己即將成為的人感到有點興奮。我已在繭中，下一步就是化蝶。第一次，我能夠飛了！但我所知道的只是毛毛蟲的生活，有許多細小的腿將我固定在地上。

I've always wondered how two creatures so different could even be
我一直想知道兩個如此不同的生物怎麼會如此

7

related. One crawls along the ground or on leaves; the other is able to fly above the treetops. They sure don't seem to have much in common. The "me" that I'm used to and comfortable with and the "me" that I'm becoming seem pretty different, too. But as a young woman, I'll have wings! And hopefully I'll always remember these days before my wings appeared.
有關的。一種沿著地面或樹葉爬行；另一個能夠飛到樹梢上空。他們看起來確實沒有太多共同點。我習慣並感到舒服的“我”和我正在成為的“我”似乎也很不同。但身為一個年輕女子，我會擁有翅膀！希望我能永遠記得我的翅膀出現之前的日子。

~ LATRISHA, 15
~ 拉特里莎，15 歲

Keeping Her Inside of Me
把她留在我心裡

I still feel like a girl sometimes, but I am thirty years old! You would think I'd know for sure that I am a woman now. I remember feeling like I was moving closer to womanhood when I was given many more responsibilities around the house. Moving away from home made me feel like I had grown up, too. When I started to see wisdom in the eyes of every woman I met, I realized that I was also a part of that wisdom. What a gift it is to be female! But I love to play and dance and be silly, and some people think of those qualities as "girlish" or immature. "
有時我仍然覺得自己像個女孩，但我已經三十歲了！你可能認為我現在肯定知道我是個女人了。我記得當我被賦予更多的家務責任時，我感覺自己離女性越來越近了。離開家讓我感覺自己也長大了。當我開始在我遇到的每個女人眼中看到智慧時，我意識到我也是這種智慧的一部分。身為女性是多麼大的恩賜啊！但我喜歡玩耍、跳舞、犯傻，有些人認為這些特質是「少女氣」或不成熟的。 」

I don't believe that we have to lose the girl inside of us in order to become a woman. The girl who has been there since the day we were born will always be there. The woman will show up when the time is right.
我不相信我們必須失去內心的女孩才能成為女人。從我們出生那天起就一直在那裡的女孩將永遠在那裡。到時候女人就會出現。

~ MAGGIE, 30
〜瑪吉，30 歲

७

8

It is natural to compare ourselves to boys and men as we try to figure out what it means to be girls and women. Are the differences simply physical, or is sex-role stereotyping a part of the confusion, too? Our relationships with boys and our opinions about males can change, and sometimes it feels sad to leave behind those times when our gender didn't matter at all.
當我們試圖弄清楚作為女孩和女人意味著什麼時，我們自然地將自己與男孩和男人進行比較。這些差異只是身體上的差異，還是性別角色的刻板印像也是造成混亂的一部分？我們與男孩的關係以及我們對男性的看法可能會改變，有時，離開那些性別根本不重要的時代會讓人感到難過。

Just One of the Guys
只是其中之一

I grew up with guys...playing sports, running around, and wrestling. We would stay out until dark, playing hide-and-seek, basketball, and hockey in our driveways. I stuck out like a sore thumb in my gym class, where I would aggressively fight to be the best player on the team. Most girls would sit around on the sidelines until it was absolutely necessary for them to join in. It never seemed strange to me, however, that I was the only girl just dying to get in there and play. I had a great time!
我和男人一起長大……做運動、跑步、摔角。我們會在外面玩捉迷藏、籃球和曲棍球，直到天黑。我在體育課上表現得很突出，我會積極爭取成為隊中最好的球員。大多數女孩都會坐在場邊，直到她們絕對有必要加入為止。我玩得很開心！

When I was twelve or thirteen, I realized what separated the girls from the boys. People began to make fun of me because I liked to go work out at the gym with Dad. I loved working hard athletically, but everyone laughed at me. For the first time I looked at myself and wondered if God had made some sort of a mistake. Was I supposed to have been a boy?
當我十二歲或十三歲的時候，我意識到女孩和男孩的差異。人們開始取笑我，因為我喜歡和爸爸一起去健身房運動。我喜歡努力運動，但每個人都嘲笑我。我第一次檢視自己，想知道上帝是否犯了某種錯誤。我應該是男孩嗎？

~ ANONYMOUS, 18
~ 匿名，18 歲

Trading Places
交易場所

Most of the time, I'm glad that I'm a girl. It would be cool if I could try being a boy for just one day, though. I would probably sleep later in the morning, not worry about how my hair looked before school, and throw on the same T-shirt I'd worn the day before. If I forgot to brush my teeth because the bus was coming, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I wouldn't think about which earrings went with which shirt, and that little pimple on my chin wouldn't matter at all.
大多數時候，我很高興我是個女孩。不過，如果我能嘗試做一天男孩的話，那就太酷了。早上我可能會睡得更晚，不用擔心上學前頭髮的樣子，然後穿上前一天穿的那件 T 卹。如果我因為公車來了而忘記刷牙，那也不會是世界末日。我不會考慮哪件耳環搭配哪件襯衫，下巴上的小痘痘根本不重要。

6

When I got to school, I could just hang out with my baseball сар turned backwards, talking about which teams will make it to the World Series, and who was going to the skateboard park after school. I don't think boys worry about friendships as much as girls do, either. To us, topics like who's mad at whom, and who said something to Megan that hurt her feelings, and why does Cherise like Andrew, fill our conversations at the lockers between classes. Boys just kind of hang out, and never seem to be too concerned about the same stuff that girls are.
當我到了學校，我可以把我的棒球帽倒過來閒逛，談論哪些球隊將進入世界職棒大賽，以及誰放學後要去滑板公園。我認為男孩也不像女孩那樣擔心友誼。對我們來說，諸如誰生誰的氣、誰對梅根說了傷害她感情的話、以及為什麼切麗絲喜歡安德魯等話題，充斥著我們課間儲物櫃裡的談話。男孩只是閒逛，似乎從來不會像女孩那樣關心同樣的事情。

I'm glad I was born a girl, but I think it would be great if we could just trade places for a day. Maybe we would discover that girls and boys aren't that different, after all!
我很高興我生來是個女孩，但我想如果我們能交換一天的位置就太好了。也許我們會發現女孩和男孩畢竟沒有那麼不同！

~TRINA, 13
~特麗娜，13 歲

LETTER TO BECCA
給貝卡的信

Весса,
貝斯卡,

It is your brother...warrior, builder, statesman... who's seemed a branch grown from my tree, so alike are we to one another. No struggle too big, no feat too daring...for he and I hold the reins. We try to fix the world; never mind if it makes us weary.
這是你的兄弟……戰士、建造者、政治家……他就像是從我的樹上長出來的一根樹枝，我們彼此如此相似。沒有太大的鬥爭，沒有太大膽的壯舉……因為他和我掌控一切。我們努力改變世界；如果這讓我們感到疲倦，沒關係。

But as I watch you, all girlish hips and flirty ponytail, something stirs in me, makes me turn and look again at this foreign creature of my womb. You have no use for stones you cannot move. You pet the dog; stick close to home. Sing easily, or cry, whichever suits you in the moment. And with
但當我看著你，少女般的臀部和性感的馬尾辮時，我內心深處有某種東西在攪動，讓我轉過身來再次審視我子宮裡的這個異物。不能移動的石頭是沒有用處的。你撫摸狗狗；堅持在家附近。輕鬆地唱歌或哭泣，無論哪種方式適合您當時的情況。並與

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hands clammy from the day's play, you caress my face, smoothing the lines gathered there. Becca, what is it that you know that I have forgotten?
因白天玩耍而濕冷的雙手，你撫摸著我的臉，撫平那裡聚集的皺紋。貝卡，你知道我忘了什麼？

When we walk together, your arm proudly, protectively slips around my waist. You celebrate us as woman and woman-yet-to-be. But Becca, it is you who is the full moon, and I, a waxing crescent of it. ~Rhonda, 38, writer, poet, mom
當我們一起散步時，你的手臂自豪地、保護性地摟著我的腰。你們慶祝我們作為女人和未來的女人。但貝卡，你是滿月，而我是滿月。 ~Rhonda，38 歲，作家、詩人、媽媽

Some girls and women choose to live their lives in a traditionally feminine way. Others feel more comfortable in a neutral place, or even in the "tomboy" role. Luckily, it is okay to enjoy all possibilities today. What hurts is when others try to mold you into someone you are not...a frilly, pink canopy bed when you really want bunk beds... pushing you to become a preschool teacher when you want to be an astronaut....
一些女孩和婦女選擇以傳統的女性化方式生活。其他人在中立的地方，甚至是“假小子”的角色中感覺更舒服。幸運的是，今天可以享受所有的可能性。令人痛苦的是，當別人試圖把你塑造成不是你的人時……當你真正想要雙層床時，卻是一張帶褶邊的粉紅色四柱床……當你想成為一名太空人時，卻迫使你成為學前班老師…

Just Me
只有我

As a senior in college, in a class on women's studies, I was asked to write a paper on what it was like to be a woman. I wrote a paper explaining what it was like to be just me. Since then I have had many female friends who have been extremely jealous of me because my parents didn't insist on turning me into a "good little girl," or preparing me to be simply someone's wife.
作為一名大學四年級學生，在女性研究課程中，我被要求寫一篇關於作為女性的感受的論文。我寫了一篇論文，解釋了作為我自己的感受。從那時起，我有很多女性朋友都非常嫉妒我，因為我的父母並沒有堅持把我變成一個“好小女孩”，或者準備讓我簡單地成為某人的妻子。

Today when someone asks me what it is like to be a woman, I still have trouble answering. I feel fortunate that I was not brought up with
今天，當有人問我身為一個女人是什麼感覺時，我仍然很難回答。我慶幸自己沒有被養大

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rigid stereotypes. I was allowed to become me, and not just what others thought I should be.
刻板的刻板印象。我被允許成為我自己，而不僅僅是別人認為我應該成為的樣子。

~ MARLENE, 49
〜馬琳，49 歲

Say Yes to Competition!
對競爭說「是」！

Take a moment to compare the way girls and boys are brought up. Boys are given cars to race, models to build, tiny armies to command and plan strategies for. Boys are encouraged from the beginning to develop and practice a variety of important career skills...competition, construction, management, teamwork, and planning, to name a few. Girls are encouraged to spend their time dressing and undressing Barbies, feeding baby dolls, doing their hair, playing school and dress-up. Girls are taught to cooperate, entertain, give in, think about others first. These are all fine qualities, but in the real world, we all need skills that both boys and girls are taught.
花點時間比較女孩和男孩的成長方式。男孩們可以參加比賽、建造模型、指揮和製定戰略的小軍隊。從一開始就鼓勵男孩發展和練習各種重要的職業技能……競爭、建立、管理、團隊合作和規劃等等。我們鼓勵女孩們花時間為芭比娃娃穿衣服和脫衣服、餵娃娃、做頭髮、上學和打扮。女孩們被教導要合作、娛樂、屈服、先考慮別人。這些都是優良品質，但在現實世界中，我們都需要男孩和女孩都被教導的技能。

It is never too late to take your life into your own hands, and invest your energies into more than your appearance or finding the right man. Develop your mind and skills; say yes to competition! Take courses in subjects that really grab you. Put some energy into your incredible self and find that dream career. You'll spend more of your time with that than with any dream man! And I bet you'll be a lot happier.
把你的生活掌握在自己手中，把你的精力投入到比你的外表或找到合適的人更多的事情上，永遠不會太晚。發展你的思想和技能；對競爭說「是」！參加真正吸引你的科目的課程。為你不可思議的自我注入一些能量，找到夢想的職業。你會花在這上面的時間比和任何夢想中的男人在一起的時間都多！我敢打賭你會更快樂。

a Hairdo Hiding from a
隱藏的髮型

~ NATALIA, 27, SWISS ART STUDENT
~ NATALIA，27 歲，瑞士藝術學生

When I was a girl in the early 1950s, no one seemed too concerned that I would rather be playing outdoors with the boys than entertaining myself with tea parties and paper dolls. My brother was eight years older than me, and didn't seem to mind having a "shadow" who would chase after fly balls for him, or run and get the basketball as it rolled away from the court.
20 世紀 50 年代初，當我還是個女孩時，似乎沒有人太擔心我寧願和男孩們在戶外玩耍，也不願用茶會和紙娃娃來娛樂自己。我哥哥比我大八歲，他似乎不介意有一個「影子」為他追趕飛來的球，或是在籃球滾離球場時跑去接球。

Eventually my mother realized that she was raising a tomboy. I believe
最終我母親意識到她正在撫養一個假小子。我相信

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she was torn between encouraging me to be myself and molding me into a "proper female." When she was growing up, she preferred milking cows over doing dishes, but was given no choice. She had to do the dishes. But still, she felt that it was her duty to teach me to be a girl. She bought me frilly dresses instead of overalls.
她在鼓勵我做我自己和把我塑造成一個「正確的女性」之間左右為難。在她的成長過程中，她更喜歡擠奶而不是洗碗，但她別無選擇。她必須洗碗。但她仍然覺得教我當女孩是她的責任。她買了褶邊洋裝而不是工裝褲給我。

I clearly remember one episode when my mother insisted that my hair be curled. I spent the entire day avoiding her! I hid in my closet, crawled behind the couch, and generally delayed receiving a permanent. After a few tears on my part, my father stepped in and told my mother that he thought I was fine just as I was, and that I shouldn't be forced to have a new hairdo if I didn't want one. This was the first time I recall being confirmed as an individual, regardless of traditional sex roles. Even though my mother thought I should at least look female, she never again stopped my boyish behaviors.
我清楚記得有一件事，當時媽媽堅持要我捲頭髮。我一整天都躲著她！我躲在衣櫃裡，爬到沙發後面，通常會延後接受永久燙髮。我流了幾滴眼淚後，父親介入告訴母親，他認為我本來就很好，如果我不想要新髮型，就不應該強迫我做新髮型。這是我第一次被確認為個人，無論傳統的性別角色為何。儘管我母親認為我至少應該看起來像女性，但她再也沒有阻止我的孩子氣行為。

~ MARLENE, 49
〜馬琳，49 歲

Like a Boy
像個男孩一樣

"Your parents raised you like a boy!" These were the words I heard from my college advisor when I told him that I wanted a career in outdoor recreation.
“你的父母把你當男孩一樣養大！”當我告訴我的大學導師我想從事戶外休閒事業時，我從他那裡聽到了這些話。

I have always loved being outdoors. I grew up in the mountains of West Virginia, and I'll never forget the excitement of the opening day of trout season. My father always took me with him on this annual event. I loved to wade in cold streams, cast my fishing line, and hope a fish would bite! It was on these fishing trips that I learned many lessons that have served me well over the years, like, "Just because you can see the bottom of the river doesn't mean that it isn't deep."
我一直都很喜歡戶外活動。我在西維吉尼亞州的山區長大，我永遠不會忘記鱒魚季節開始那天的興奮。我父親總是帶著我參加這個一年一度的活動。我喜歡在冰冷的溪水中涉水，拋下魚線，希望有魚上鉤！正是在這些釣魚之旅中，我學到了許多多年來對我很有幫助的教訓，例如，“僅僅因為你能看到河底，並不意味著它不深。”

Going to Girl Scout camp every summer also influenced my interest in the outdoors. At camp, I really felt that I was accepted for just being myself. I always felt uncomfortable in the role expected of me as a girl in school. I could wear cut-off jeans at camp, get as dirty as I wanted to, and enjoy being outside with other girls who loved it as much as I did.
每年夏天去女童軍夏令營也影響了我對戶外活動的興趣。在營地，我真的覺得我因為做自己而被接受。身為一個女孩，我在學校裡總是對自己所扮演的角色感到不舒服。我可以在露營時穿破洞牛仔褲，想怎麼髒就怎麼髒，並享受和其他和我一樣喜歡它的女孩一起在外面玩耍。

In my current work, I take students backpacking, canoeing, and win-
在我目前的工作中，我帶學生背包旅行、劃獨木舟，並贏得-

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ter camping. These groups are co-ed, and I find that I have to work hard to help the students avoid stereotyping camp chores. Women and men can build campfires...women and men can cook and clean up. The attitude expressed by my college advisor has changed in the past twenty-five years, but girls and women still face barriers to outdoor education. A friend and I have spent the past ten summers canoeing in Minnesota, and in all that time, we have seen just one other all-female group. I do not believe that my friend and I are the only women interested in going on such adventures. Some barriers are slow to break down.
露營。這些小組是男女混合的，我發現我必須努力幫助學生避免對營隊雜務的刻板印象。女人和男人可以生營火…女人和男人可以做飯和打掃。我的大學導師表達的態度在過去二十五年裡發生了變化，但女孩和婦女仍然面臨戶外教育的障礙。過去十個夏天，我和一位朋友在明尼蘇達州劃獨木舟，在那段時間裡，我們只見過另一個全女性團體。我不相信我和我的朋友是唯一有興趣進行此類冒險的女性。有些障礙的打破速度很慢。

My parents did not raise me like a boy. Instead, they shared with me a gift that will last throughout my lifetime. They encouraged me to enjoy my days based on my interests, rather than on a role expected of me because I happen to be female.
我的父母沒有像男孩一樣撫養我。相反，他們與我分享了一份將伴隨我一生的禮物。他們鼓勵我根據自己的興趣享受生活，而不是因為我碰巧是女性而期望我扮演的角色。

~JUDITH, 48
〜朱迪思，48 歲

Many girls and women have told us about unfair situations they have experienced in school. Being treated differently because they were girls, not being called on as much in class, lower expectations in math and science...the list goes on and on. Think about your own school experiences. Do you speak out when something seems unfair?
許多女孩和婦女向我們講述了她們在學校經歷過的不公平情況。因為她們是女孩而受到不同的對待，在課堂上沒有那麼多的點名，對數學和科學的期望較低……這樣的例子不勝枚舉。想想你自己的學校經驗。當事情看起來不公平時，你會說出來嗎？

Too Young to Know
太年輕不知道

In my freshman year of college, I had a setback. I came down with the flu one semester, and went to summer school to catch up. I took three history courses, one of which was taught by a Swedish professor. I read everything he assigned, did all the class work, and was given Bs on all my papers. At the end of the summer the professor called me into his office and said, "You have done very good work, but you are a girl, and still too young to understand my course. I can only give you a D as your final grade."
在大學一年級的時候，我遇到了挫折。一個學期我得了流感，於是去參加暑期學校補補。我選修了三門歷史課程，其中一門是由一位瑞典教授教授的。我閱讀了他佈置的所有內容，完成了所有課堂作業，並且所有論文都獲得了 B。暑假結束時，教授把我叫到他的辦公室，說：“你做得很好，但你是個女孩，還太年輕，無法理解我的課程。我只能給你 D 作為你的最終成績。” 」。

I went to the head of the department right away and told him that it just wasn't fair. He told me that he couldn't change a professor's grades.
我立即去找部門主管並告訴他這不公平。他告訴我他無法改變教授的成績。

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I got a D, for no good reason. I have since learned that back then, girls in Sweden weren't allowed to attend school beyond the sixth grade. They didn't think women were smart enough. Luckily that has all changed now, but until the 1930s, no girl in Sweden could be educated beyond age twelve. How fortunate I was to have been able to attend college at all!
我無緣無故得了D。我後來了解到，當時瑞典的女孩六年級以上就不被允許上學。他們認為女性不夠聰明。幸運的是，現在一切都改變了，但直到 20 世紀 30 年代，瑞典女孩都無法在 12 歲以上接受教育。我能上大學真是太幸運了！

~ MARY, 97,
〜瑪麗，97，

EXCITED ABOUT THE FUTURE
對未來感到興奮

Girls Are Dumb?
女孩子都是傻子嗎？

"Girls are dumb!" my ninth grade science teacher would say, several times each week, all through the school year. I was fourteen and new to the high school scene. Maybe this was just how teachers spoke to "new arrivals."
“女孩子都傻了！”我九年級的科學老師會說，整個學年每週都會說幾次。我當時十四歲，剛進入高中。也許這就是老師們對「新來的人」說話的方式。

I never questioned why Mr. Browne would dare say something as outrageous as that. Usually I had been the one to question things, to speak for the rest of us, never afraid to say what was on my mind. But here I was in Earth Science class, getting better grades than any other boy or girl, loving the things I was learning, and the teacher had the nerve to tell me and my classmates that half of us were just plain dumb!
我從來沒有質疑過布朗先生為何敢說出如此離譜的話。通常我是那個提出問題的人，為我們其他人說話，從不害怕說出我的想法。但我在地球科學課上，比任何其他男孩或女孩取得更好的成績，熱愛我正在學習的東西，老師有勇氣告訴我和我的同學，我們一半人只是愚蠢的！

I passed it off as some silly part of the high school curriculum, and tried not to listen when he would say it. After all, Mr. Browne was highly respected in our small town. And how I loved Earth Science! To finally know more about the things I had been interested in my whole life... weather patterns, rocks, the stars. But I didn't dare speak out for fear that the teacher would use it against me in some way, even though my classmates wondered what was wrong with me. Why wasn't I questioning this like I had questioned every other issue since kindergarten?
我把它當作高中課程中一些愚蠢的部分，當他說的時候，我盡量不去聽。畢竟，布朗先生在我們小鎮上很受尊敬。我多麼喜歡地球科學啊！終於更了解我一生中感興趣的事物……天氣模式、岩石、星星。但我不敢說出來，因為我擔心老師會用某種方式來對付我，儘管我的同學都想知道我怎麼了。為什麼我不像從幼兒園開始就質疑其他問題那樣質疑這個問題？

Three years later, in twelfth grade, I signed up to take Physics. The only Physics teacher was...Mr. Browne! It was now the mid seventies, and the women's rights movement was well underway. Girls were finally beginning to have school sports teams, and we could finally wear pants to school instead of just skirts or dresses.
三年後，在十二年級時，我報名學習物理。唯一的物理老師是……先生。布朗！現在是七零年代中期，女權運動如火如荼地進行。女孩們終於開始組成學校運動隊，我們終於可以穿褲子去學校，而不僅僅是裙子或洋裝。

15

HONG KONG PUBLIC LIBRARIES
香港公共圖書館

Mr. Browne wasted no time in pronouncing that girls were dumb. By now there were only a few girls taking science, which meant fewer girls to speak out about his ridiculous statements. At age seventeen, I really knew that he was wrong to say what he was saying. I also really knew that girls were not dumb, for of the top ten students, five of us were young women. But he continued to say this throughout the school year, and none of us spoke up about it. This time we remained silent because of those unwritten rules about dating. It was thought that boys didn't want to date smart girls, and if you did date a "brain," she should have no common sense. I rarely raised my hand in class when I most always knew the answers, and was afraid to do well on projects or tests. And all year long, Mr. Browne kept reminding us how dumb he thought girls were.
布朗先生毫不猶豫地宣稱女孩們都很愚蠢。到目前為止，只有少數女孩學習科學，這意味著更少的女孩敢於說出他的荒謬言論。十七歲時，我真的知道他說的話是錯的。我也確實知道女孩子不傻，前十名的學生中，我們有五個是年輕女子。但他整個學年都在說這句話，我們沒有人談論這件事。這次我們保持沉默，是因為約會時那些不成文的規定。人們認為男孩不想和聰明的女孩約會，如果你真的和一個「大腦」約會，她應該沒有常識。當我總是知道答案時，我很少在課堂上舉手，並且害怕在專案或測驗中取得好成績。布朗先生一整年都在不斷提醒我們，他認為女孩是多麼愚蠢。

Did he do this to make us angry? To spur us on to achieve more? Or was he opposed to the gains women were making in the world, and trying to do his part to prevent at least a few of us from succeeding? His message was not clear.
他這樣做是為了讓我們生氣嗎？激勵我們取得更多成就？或者他是否反對女性在世界上的成就，並試圖盡自己的一份力量來阻止我們中的至少一些人取得成功？他的訊息不清楚。

What I do know is that in spite of my love for science, I didn't dare consider science for my college studies or career path. I was advised to pursue a traditional career for women... nursing, teaching, social work. I still love science, and have remained curious about the natural world. Whenever anyone asks what I wish I had done differently with my life, ignoring my passion for science always comes to mind.
我所知道的是，儘管我熱愛科學，但我不敢考慮將科學作為我的大學學習或職業道路。有人建議我從事女性的傳統職業……護理、教學、社會工作。我仍然熱愛科學，並對自然世界保持好奇。每當有人問我希望我的生活有什麼不同時，我總是會想到忽略我對科學的熱情。

You can do what you want to do... you can follow your passion as you think about your future. And if science is where your passion lies, please don't let go of it!
你可以做你想做的事…你可以在思考你的未來時追隨你的熱情。如果科學是您的熱情所在，請不要放棄它！

~ DEB, 39, SCIENTIST AT HEART
~ DEB，39 歲，內在科學家

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People around the world celebrate life transitions in a variety of ways. Many cultures truly honor these times, and have created beautiful rituals and traditions to be enjoyed during the passage across the life span.
世界各地的人們以各種方式慶祝人生的轉變。許多文化真正尊重這些時代，並創造了美麗的儀式和傳統，讓人們在生命的流逝中享受。

When a Girl Is Born
女孩出生時

Growing up in Liberia, I learned many important lessons from the women in my life. Women were not treated as equals with men in my village, but there was an understanding among us that helped girls and women learn from each other, endure oppression, and remind us of our importance in this world.
我在利比里亞長大，從我生命中的女性身上學到了許多重要的教訓。在我的村莊裡，婦女沒有得到與男子平等的待遇，但我們之間存在著一種理解，這有助於女孩和婦女互相學習，忍受壓迫，並提醒我們在這個世界上的重要性。

One of the most beautiful illustrations of the way women honored their feminine power was in the ceremony that took place whenever a girl was born. Women celebrated the birth of a daughter in a special way because they knew that their own story would be passed down through her. Everyone in the village knew that women were the caretakers, and if a woman gave birth to a daughter, she knew she would have someone to take care of her as she grew older.
女性尊重女性力量的最美麗的例證之一就是女孩出生時舉行的儀式。婦女們以一種特殊的方式慶祝女兒的誕生，因為她們知道自己的故事將透過女兒傳承下去。村裡的每個人都知道女人是照顧者，如果一個女人生了一個女兒，她知道她長大後會有人照顧她。

After a woman gave birth to a daughter, she was led to a beautiful courtyard in a secluded part of the village. Naked, she would sit on a large boulder, with her newborn daughter in her arms. One by one, the women of the village would carry large buckets of warm water into the courtyard and gently bathe the mother and her daughter. The feeling of honor and love that was created in this ritual was something I will never forget. I am sad that my own daughter was not born in my village in Liberia, for I never had the opportunity to experience this blessing. Perhaps by sharing this story with you, I will feel that special love that is found in a community of women.
一名婦女生下女兒後，被帶到村裡一個僻靜地方的一個美麗的庭院。她會赤裸裸地坐在一塊大石頭上，懷裡抱著剛出生的女兒。村裡的婦女們一一提著大桶溫水走進院子裡，輕輕地幫母女倆洗澡。在這個儀式中產生的榮譽和愛的感覺是我永遠不會忘記的。我很遺憾我自己的女兒沒有出生在賴比瑞亞的村莊，因為我從未有機會經歷這份祝福。也許透過與你分享這個故事，我會感受到女性群體中的特殊愛。

~ SARAH, 44, FROM LIBERIA
~ SARAH，44 歲，來自賴比瑞亞

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In addition to the particular culture we are born into, the era of history in which we live also determines how we are viewed as women. Your grandmothers, even your mother, experienced life as a female much differently than you will. This story takes us back thousands of years....
除了我們出生的特定文化之外，我們所處的歷史時代也決定了我們如何看待女性。你的祖母，甚至你的母親，身為女性的生活經驗與你截然不同。這個故事讓我們回到幾千年前...

Our Female Ancestors
我們的女性祖先

If I had known about prehistory when I was thirteen, I would have had more strength to resist all of the forces that were trying to change my true self. Fortunately, there are many ways to learn about prehistoric times. Art, pottery, cave paintings, temples, ritual objects, and graves all have much to say about life thousands of years ago. These artifacts tell us that their makers were peaceful people who saw the female as divine.
如果我在十三歲的時候就了解了史前史，我會有更多的力量來抵抗所有試圖改變我真實自我的力量。幸運的是，有許多方法可以了解史前時代。藝術、陶器、洞穴壁畫、寺廟、儀式物品和墳墓都講述了數千年前的生活。這些文物告訴我們，它們的製造者是一群愛好和平的人，他們將女性視為神聖的。

You may have heard the phrase, "History is written by the winners." You have probably already noticed that many people...gays, lesbians, people of color, women...have sometimes literally been left out of our textbooks. It is important to remember to ask questions. Stay curious, especially if things don't feel right to you, or if it seems like something is missing. Just because something is written in a book doesn't mean that it is always the complete story.
您可能聽過這句話：「歷史是由勝利者所寫的」。您可能已經注意到，許多人……男同性戀、女同性戀、有色人種、女性……有時實際上被排除在我們的教科書之外。記住提問很重要。保持好奇心，尤其是當你感覺事情不對勁，或似乎缺少什麼東西的時候。某件事被寫在書中並不意味著它總是完整的故事。

Women in prehistoric cultures were valued for their intuitive ways of knowing. This type of knowing is difficult to explain in words because it is deeper and older than language itself. You may have once known something with all of your heart, yet you didn't learn it from a book or another person. Trust your instincts. Make your own decisions. Listen for the voices of the female ancestors within you.
史前文化中的女性因其直覺的認知方式而受到重視。這種認識很難用語言來解釋，因為它比語言本身更深、更古老。你可能曾經全心全意地知道某件事，但你不是從書本或其他人那裡學到的。相信你的直覺。自己做決定。傾聽你內心女性祖先的聲音。

~JODY, 30, MODERN DAY AMAZON WARRIOR
~喬迪，30 歲，現代亞馬遜戰士

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Take a look at the girls and women in your life...those you know well, and those you wish you knew better. We are all so different, yet we share many of the same feelings and traits. This writer is beginning to understand these connections....
看看你生活中的女孩和女人…那些你很熟悉的人，以及那些你希望你更了解的人。我們都是如此不同，但我們有許多相同的感受和特徵。筆者開始理解這些連結......

A Room Full
滿屋子

I have a vision of a room full of women. We all share special things about our womanhood that no man could ever possibly understand. There is a feeling of being peaceful and spiritual, powerful and strong, mothers and healers. Men might have similar feelings, but they are expressed in different ways. Women are different from one another too, yet we are still connected by our womanhood.
我有一個願景，房間裡擠滿了女人。我們都有關於女性身分的特殊事情，而這是任何男人都無法理解的。有一種平靜和精神、強大和堅強、母親和治療師的感覺。男人可能有類似的感受，但表達方式不同。女性也彼此不同，但我們仍然透過女性身分連結在一起。

We are girls, we are sisters, we are women.
我們是女孩，我們是姊妹，我們是女人。

~ DORIE, 14
~ 多莉，14 歲

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G

G

G

C

G

More Than One Way
不只一種方式

to Look in the Mirror
照照鏡子

Body Image and Self-Esteem
身體形象和自尊

A s a teenager, you've probably noticed that everything is chang- ing, including your body. Suddenly you look in the mirror or gaze down at your belly and breasts, and what you see may not be familiar. Your girlish figure begins to give way to the curves of womanhood. You grow hair in new places. Your breasts become rounder and more defined, with dark, firm nipples. The baby fat that softened your features through childhood melts away, while your hips and thighs become fuller and stronger. New hormones flowing through your body affect you both physically and emotionally. You simply look different and feel different.
作為一個青少年，你可能已經注意到一切都在變化，包括你的身體。突然你照鏡子或低頭凝視自己的腹部和胸部，你所看到的可能並不熟悉。你少女般的身材開始讓位給女性的曲線。你會在新的地方長出頭髮。您的乳房變得更圓潤、輪廓更分明，乳頭顏色更深、更堅挺。童年時期使您面容變得柔和的嬰兒肥逐漸消失，而您的臀部和大腿則變得更加豐滿、強壯。流經您體內的新荷爾蒙會影響您的身體和情緒。你只是看起來不同，感覺不同。

At a time when your body seems to be playing tricks on you, it is challenging to sort out how you feel about all of the changes. Sometimes it helps to slow down and take a moment to notice what it really feels like to be in your body....
當你的身體似乎在捉弄你時，要理清你對所有變化的感受是很有挑戰性的。有時放慢腳步並花點時間注意身體的真實感覺會有所幫助...

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Take a Good Look
好好看看

When I was 13, I was lucky enough to have a funky older aunt I loved to hang out with. She was the "black sheep" in our family, but was still a great inspiration to me. Since she wasn't my mother, I felt I could talk to her about almost anything, and I didn't have to worry about making her nervous or hurting her feelings. My aunt gave me the following advice which, at the time, I thought was a little strange. Now I realize it was one of the wisest and most empowering things any woman ever taught me.
當我13歲的時候，我很幸運有一個我喜歡和我一起出去玩的時髦的年長阿姨。她是我們家裡的“害群之馬”，但仍然給了我很大的啟發。由於她不是我的母親，我覺得我幾乎可以和她談論任何事情，而且我不用擔心讓她緊張或傷害她的感情。我姑姑給了我以下建議，當時我覺得有點奇怪。現在我意識到這是女性教我的最明智、最有力量的事情之一。

Softly and gently she said, "You have been given an amazing body that is yours to take care of and respect. In order to begin to love your changing body, it's a good idea to really get to know it. Someday when you are all alone, take some time to really look at your body. Notice your hands and feet, your belly, your thighs. Without judgment, take a mirror and look at your face, your back, your buttocks. Be curious, not critical. Check out your genital area. It is a sacred part of your body, which deserves to be known as much as the rest of you. You may have feelings about what you see, and that's okay. Your feelings are a part of you, too. Knowing your body is a big step towards feeling good about who you are."
她溫柔地說：「你被賦予了一個令人驚奇的身體，需要你照顧和尊重。為了開始愛你不斷變化的身體，最好真正了解它。有一天，當你都獨自一人，花一些時間真正觀察你的手、腳、你的腹部、你的大腿，不要評判，拿鏡子看看你的臉、你的背部、你的臀部，保持好奇，而不是挑剔。的神聖部分，你可能會對你所看到的東西有感覺，這也沒關係，你的感覺也是你的一部分。

These words, shared with love and understanding, were a great foundation for me as I grew into womanhood. I didn't always feel good about my body, but thanks to a woman who took the time to share her wisdom, I learned to accept this body that I live in.
這些充滿愛和理解的話語為我成長為女性奠定了良好的基礎。我並不總是對自己的身體感覺良好，但感謝一位女士花時間分享她的智慧，我學會了接受我所居住的這個身體。

~ ANONYMOUS, 40
~ 匿名，40 歲

Take some time to relax and experience yourself just as you are....
花點時間放鬆一下，體驗真實的自己...

Angel Belly
天使肚皮

They had finally left her to her own peace and quiet. She slipped a tape into the tape player, and it lulled her with sweet Hawaiian tunes that swirled around the room. She fixed herself a pineapple milkshake and sank into the smooth, bubbly bubbles of the bathtub.
他們終於把她留給了她自己的平靜和安寧。她把一盤錄音帶放進錄音機，房間裡迴旋著甜美的夏威夷曲調，讓她平靜下來。她為自己泡了一杯鳳梨奶昔，然後沉浸在浴缸裡光滑的泡沫中。

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She let her tanned tummy float to the top of the water, peeking its little eye through the hole in the suds. It was a wonderful tummy, pleasantly plump, with peachfuzz down and a button set just so. Probably the best that there was. The belly of a goddess. An angel belly. Beautiful. She closed her eyes and sipped her milkshake. Mmm...sweet!
她讓曬黑的肚子浮到水面上，透過泡沫上的洞窺視著它的小眼睛。那是一個美妙的肚子，豐滿得令人愉快，有桃子絨毛，紐扣也正是如此。可能是最好的。女神的肚子。天使般的肚子。美麗的。她閉上眼睛，抿了一口奶昔。嗯……甜甜的！

~ DEVON, 12
~ 德文郡，12 歲

Much of what we learn about who we are in this world, we learn from the people around us. If we are lucky, we find others who accept us just as we are and help us adjust to the changes we are going through. But peer pressure, difficult family issues, and the limiting messages we receive through the media can make it hard to hold on to a positive self-image. Remember, we have choices about how we see ourselves.
我們在這個世界上了解到的關於我們是誰的大部分資訊都是從我們周圍的人那裡學到的。如果幸運的話，我們會找到其他人接受我們原本的樣子，並幫助我們適應正在經歷的變化。但同儕壓力、困難的家庭問題以及我們透過媒體收到的有限資訊可能會讓我們很難保持正面的自我形象。請記住，我們可以選擇如何看待自己。

MORE THAN ONE WAY TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR
照鏡子的方式不只一種

When my eyes first meet an image of me, I take in the backwards picture I see. Am I fat or thin, or tired or pale, Dark circles, or pimples, strong or too frail?
當我的眼睛第一次看到我的影像時，我會看到我所看到的向後的照片。我是胖還是瘦，是疲倦還是蒼白，是黑眼圈還是痘痘，是強壯還是太虛弱？

The critic within gets in her two cents, Examines each feature, I've got no defense. But then I step back, and remember myself, I'm more than reflections of somebody else.
裡面的批評者得到了她的兩分錢，檢查了每個功能，我沒有任何辯護。但後來我退後一步，記得我自己，我不僅僅是別人的倒影。

I soften my eyes and gaze deep within,
我軟化雙眼，凝視內心深處，

To the image I see in the mirror again.
再次看到我在鏡子中看到的影像。

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Into the eyes of this girl that appears, Her beautiful spirit a little more clear.
在這個出現的少女眼中，她的美麗神采更加清晰了一些。

I reach beyond echoes of critical voices, And remember, it's my life, and that I have choices. How I see me is up to me now, So I turn, and I sigh, and I take a new vow...
我超越批評聲音的迴響，記住，這是我的生活，我有選擇。我現在如何看待自己取決於我，所以我轉身，嘆息，然後我發下新的誓言......

To look beyond pictures of high fashion girls, See beauty in each woman's face in the world. And the twinkle of soul that I see in their eyes Is the same spark of woman that I recognize When my eyes first meet an image of me, And I see the incredible girl that I see.
超越高級時尚女孩的照片，看到世界上每個女人臉上的美麗。我在他們眼中看到的靈魂閃爍 與我所認識的女人的火花相同 當我的眼睛第一次見到我的形象時， 我看到了我所看到的令人難以置信的女孩。

~Anonymous, 17
~匿名，17 歲

Ooooh, Baby!
噢，寶貝！

The moment you were born, wet and slippery to this world, you were pure, essential you... absolutely one of a kind, full of spirit and love. From that day on, everything you learned about who you are in this world you learned from other people. When you were born, you didn't know if you were a boy or a girl, fat or skinny, smart or dumb, pretty or plain. All of those things you learned from the people who nurtured you and took care of you when you were little.
當你出生在這個世界上的那一刻，你濕漉漉的，滑溜溜的，你是純潔的，本質的你……絕對是獨一無二的，充滿精神和愛。從那天起，你在這個世界上學到的關於你是誰的一切都是從別人那裡學到的。出生的時候，你不知道自己是男生還是女孩，是胖還是瘦，是聰明還是笨，是漂亮還是相貌平平。這一切都是你從小時候養育你、照顧你的人身上學到的。

Some of us were lucky enough to have loving adults around us who were good mirrors and helped us realize who we were as individuals. But some of us were not so lucky. We were taught that we had to play certain roles or fulfill expectations that didn't fit with who we were deep down inside. When this happens, we can get really confused. Sometimes, even
我們中的一些人很幸運，身邊有充滿愛心的成年人，他們是很好的鏡子，幫助我們認識自己是誰。但我們中的一些人就沒那麼幸運了。我們被教導我們必須扮演某些角色或滿足與我們內心深處不相符的期望。當這種情況發生時，我們會感到非常困惑。有時，甚至

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thirty or forty years later, when someone asks, "Who are you?," we stand frozen, unable to answer.
三十或四十年後，當有人問「你是誰？」時，我們僵住了，無法回答。

If ever you find yourself in a place where you have lost your sense of who you really are, stop and remember. In a quiet moment, reach deeply into your imagination and remember the tiny baby that was you, untouched, pure essential you. She is still part of you and always will be.
如果您發現自己已經失去了真正的自我意識，請停下來並記住。在安靜的時刻，深入發揮你的想像力，記住那個小嬰兒就是你，未受觸動的、純粹本質的你。她仍然是你的一部分，而且永遠都是。

~ HANNAH, 68, EYES OPEN
~ 漢娜，68 歲，睜開眼睛

Many women and girls remember the exact moment when they realized that puberty had arrived. Something important was happening to their bodies.
許多婦女和女孩都記得她們意識到青春期已經到來的那一刻。他們的身體正在發生一些重要的事情。

Something Big
大事

I can remember when I was younger and my appearance didn't matter that much to me. Life was fresh and innocent. Clothes, makeup, hair, and boys were not that important.
我記得當我年輕的時候，我的外表對我來說並不那麼重要。生活是新鮮而純真的。衣服、妝容、髮型、男生都沒有那麼重要。

One day in junior high school, sixth grade in fact, I was in the bathroom between classes. While sitting in the bathroom stall, I overheard some eighth-grade girls talking about their hair and makeup.
國中，其實是六年級的一天，我在課間去洗手間。當我坐在浴室的隔間裡時，我無意中聽到一些八年級的女孩談論她們的頭髮和化妝。

I waited until they left and I knew that the bathroom was empty. I went out of the stall and looked in the mirror. I mean I really looked at myself in the full length mirror, not just the ones over the sink. I felt so strange, as if I was opening my eyes for the first time. I was actually a little bit shocked at what I saw. I had never noticed how broad my shoulders were, and I wasn't sure how to feel about it. I never realized that those bumps under my blouse were actually beginning to look like breasts. I grew up in a house with mostly brothers, and considered myself a "tomboy." Suddenly that "tomboy" disappeared before my eyes. There was a young woman reflected in the mirror.
等到他們走了，我才知道浴室已經空了。我走出攤位，照了照鏡子。我的意思是，我真的在全身鏡裡看著自己，而不僅僅是水槽上的鏡子。我感覺很奇怪，就像我第一次睜開眼睛一樣。事實上，我對我所看到的感到有點震驚。我從來沒有註意到我的肩膀有多寬，我不知道對此有何感覺。我從來沒有意識到我襯衫下的那些腫塊實際上開始看起來像乳房。我在一個主要是兄弟的房子裡長大，並認為自己是一個「假小子」。突然，那個「假小子」就從我眼前消失了。鏡子裡映出一個年輕女子的影子。

I had a brush in my bag, and some lip gloss, and quickly used bothfelt transformed, but happy too. Something big was going to happen.
我包包裡有一把刷子和一些唇彩，很快就用了，感覺變了，但也很高興。有大事要發生了。

. I
。我

~ RUTH, 24,
〜露絲，24 歲，

EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATOR
幼兒教育家

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Suddenly we may find that we are becoming more concerned about how we look. We begin to pay more attention to our self-image and our physical appearance....
突然間，我們可能會發現我們變得更加關心自己的外表。我們開始更加關注我們的自我形象和外表...

Seventh-Grade Formal
七年級正式

At a recent family celebration, as I sat surrounded by my husband, two teenage daughters, and seven-year-old son, my mother boisterously announced that she had discovered some important papers that she would like to share with the family. Before I knew what was happening, everyone was laughing hysterically as the following list was passed around the table. Carefully treasured as the first tangible evidence of my budding vanity, this paper my mother had saved reminded me how very tender the self-image of preadolescent girls can be. Feeling a little exposed, I was also deeply grateful for this timely reminder of the thirteen-year-old inside of me.
在最近的一次家庭慶祝活動中，當我坐在我的丈夫、兩個十幾歲的女兒和七歲的兒子身邊時，我的母親大聲宣布她發現了一些重要的文件，她想與家人分享。還沒等我明白髮生了什麼，當下面的清單在桌子上傳遞時，每個人都歇斯底里地大笑起來。母親保存的這張紙是我初露頭角的虛榮心的第一個有形證據，我小心翼翼地珍藏著它，它提醒我青春期前女孩的自我形像是多麼的溫柔。感覺有點暴露，我也深深感激這及時提醒了我內心的十三歲。

~ SAGE, 13 AND 38, READY!
~ SAGE，13 歲和 38 歲，準備好了！

Get Home bi00 Eat Well 6:15 Bath 68.35 Put on Robe Shave Legs 7th Grade Formal 1973, 2040 Wash Face Very Well Rest 7005 Wash Face Again Put on alchohol Put on Makeup-CAREFULLY not too much! deoderant-1 Put on dress, slip, stockings Brush Teeth Use Mouthwash-AT Check hair Put on Bow Put on Choker final Look Put on shoes Coat gloves Go, AND HOPE IT ISN'T A ELOP HAVE FUN! IN at least to DANCE
回家 bi00 吃得好 6:15 洗澡 68.35 穿上長袍 刮腿毛 七年級正式 1973, 2040 好好洗臉 休息 7005 再次洗臉 塗上酒精 化妝——小心不要太多！ deoderant-1 穿上裙子、襯裙、絲襪 刷牙 使用漱口水 -AT 檢查頭髮 戴上蝴蝶結 戴上頸鍊 最終造型 穿上鞋子 戴上手套 走吧，希望這不是 ELOP 玩得開心！至少跳舞

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All girls and women mature at different rates, both physically and emotionally. Through all the changes of adolescence, it is natural to look to others to help us see ourselves more clearly.
所有女孩和女性在身體和情緒上的成熟速度都不同。透過青春期的所有變化，我們自然會指望別人來幫助我們更清楚地認識自己。

Puberty Talk
青春期談話

Starting in fourth grade, the concept of puberty gradually seeped into the collective consciousness of all of the girls I knew. It was introduced in school health classes and by books our mothers gave to us. I already knew the facts of life when my mother handed the book to me. "Here,” she said. "If you have any questions, ask me." Sure, Mom. If I asked anyone, I'd ask my friends.
從四年級開始，青春期的概念逐漸滲透到我所認識的所有女孩的集體意識中。它是在學校健康課和母親給我們的書中介紹的。當媽媽把這本書交給我時，我已經知道了生命的真相。 「在這裡，」她說，「如果你有任何問題，就問我。」當然，媽媽。

Recently, my little sister and her friends were sitting in a tight circle in our living room. "I'm in stage two,” I heard one of them say. "I am too," said another. "My doctor says I am in stage three." She leaned forward to confide this, and then sat up straight and proud. The others all began talking eagerly, comparing the stages they had studied in their books.
最近，我的小妹妹和她的朋友們在我們的客廳裡圍成一圈。 「我正處於第二階段，」我聽到其中一個人說。了身體其他人也紛紛議論起來，對比著書本上所學的階段。

Suddenly there was perfect silence as they became aware that I was listening in. Heads turned anxiously, as if they were begging me not to tell.
突然間，周圍一片寂靜，他們意識到我在偷聽。

I had done this with my friends, too...long sessions standing naked in front of the mirror, trying to squint our bodies from stage two to stage three. Honoring this, I said, "I used to do the same thing," and left.
我也和我的朋友們做過這件事……長時間裸體站在鏡子前，試圖從第二階段到第三階段瞇起我們的身體。為了尊重這一點，我說：“我以前也做過同樣的事情”，然後就離開了。

~ REBECCA, 16
〜麗貝卡，16 歲

Never Too Late
永遠不嫌晚

"Humph," I say, pouting while looking into my full-length mirror. My eyes stare disapprovingly at my girlish figure. Even my best friend has a reason to wear a bra, but of course, not me.
「哼，」我一邊嘟著嘴一邊看著全身鏡。我的眼睛不以為然地盯著自己少女般的身材。即使是我最好的朋友也有穿胸罩的理由，但當然，我不是。

Oh, how I want to run through some archway into the land of womanhood! But not me. Not ever. I feel like the tortoise in the tortoise and
哦，我多麼想穿過拱門進入女性之地！但不是我。從來沒有。我感覺就像是烏龜中的烏龜

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the hare fable, just plodding along slowly. But unlike that lucky turtle, I don't have a chance of making it to the finish line first.
兔子的寓言，只是緩慢地進行著。但與那隻幸運的烏龜不同的是，我沒有機會第一個到達終點。

Scars and Flaws
傷疤和瑕疵

~ TREVOR, 12, FUNNY, WANTS TO BE A DOCTOR
~ TREVOR，12 歲，有趣，想成為醫生

The older I get, the more connections I have with other women, and the more I appreciate my female friends. Gone is the awkward shyness of our bodies. Now we wander through the locker room naked and chatting, everyone's scars and flaws there to ignore. We talk about labor pains, fat, breast cancer, and family break-ups. It is comforting to know that every woman has her own story, her own problems which she has dealt with and survived, none of which are that different from my own.
我年紀越大，與其他女性的連結就越多，我就越欣賞我的女性朋友。我們身體的尷尬害羞已經一去不復返了。現在我們赤裸裸地在更衣室裡閒逛，聊天，每個人的傷疤和缺點都可以忽略。我們談論陣痛、肥胖、乳癌和家庭破裂。令人欣慰的是，知道每個女人都有自己的故事，自己處理過並倖存下來的問題，這些都與我自己的沒有什麼不同。

~ERICA, 42
~埃麗卡，42 歲

In our culture, we are often haunted by images of what appears to be physical perfection. Everywhere we look we see pictures of supermodels with perfect bodies and gorgeous hair. Women's and teen magazines offer advice on how to create the perfect outfit, find the perfect guy, and even have a perfect date! What a setup! Not one of us can conform to those images of perfection. We can be left feeling as though we aren't pretty enough, thin enough, or simply enough just the way we are.
在我們的文化中，我們經常被看似完美的身體形象所困擾。我們到處都能看到擁有完美身材和華麗頭髮的超級名模的照片。女性和青少年雜誌提供有關如何打造完美服裝、找到完美男人、甚至進行完美約會的建議！多麼好的設定啊！我們沒有人能夠符合那些完美的形象。我們可能會覺得自己不夠漂亮、不夠瘦，或只是不夠漂亮。

I Am Only Clay
我只是泥土

My eyes are wide and bright and my heart is eager and willing and my hands are ready and able and I am only clay and you are molding me and shaping me and stories in teen magazines about how you are only pretty if you're skinny are shaping me and the homeless man on the street cor-
我的眼睛又大又亮，我的心渴望又願意，我的雙手已準備好並且有能力，我只是粘土，而你正在塑造我，塑造我，青少年雜誌上的故事說，只有瘦了，你才漂亮。

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ner is shaping me and what is written on the wall in the girls' bathroom is shaping me and maybe I'm just afraid that the wrong thing will get to me and maybe I just want to mold myself but there is no stone to hide under where I am, so I build armor around myself and maybe if I trust you I will let you in but I am confused today, oh, help me.
女孩正在塑造我，女孩浴室牆上寫的東西正在塑造我，也許我只是害怕錯誤的事情會影響我，也許我只是想塑造自己，但沒有石頭可以隱藏我在哪裡，所以我在自己周圍建造盔甲，也許如果我相信你，我會讓你進來，但我今天很困惑，哦，幫我。

~JESSICA, 14
~傑西卡，14 歲

Fat. It's a powerful word that carries a lot of weight for women in our culture. We have been taught that fat is disgusting, ugly, and a sign that we have no self-control. Every one of us has fat, and most of us have been preoccupied with getting rid of it at one time or another. Obsessive dieting and the increase in eating disorders among teenage girls and women are signs of how we can allow our weight to take control of our lives. It is helpful to think about your own feelings about your weight. What is your definition of physical beauty? What is a healthy weight for you? Where have those messages come from? It is up to you to decide what makes you feel healthy and good about yourself!
胖的。這是一個強而有力的詞，對我們文化中的女性來說意義重大。我們被教導說，脂肪是令人厭惡的、醜陋的，是我們沒有自製的標誌。我們每個人都有脂肪，而且我們大多數人都曾一度全神貫注於擺脫脂肪。少女和女性的強迫性節食和飲食失調現象的增加表明我們可以讓體重控制我們的生活。考慮一下您自己對體重的感受會很有幫助。你對身體美的定義是什麼？對您來說健康的體重是多少？這些消息從哪裡來？由您來決定什麼讓您感覺健康和自我感覺良好！

This woman remembers when her own large size became an embarrassment to her as a teenager.
這位女士還記得，十幾歲的時候，自己的大身材讓她感到尷尬。

The Locker Room
更衣室

I hated the locker room. It wasn't so much the physical place, although the barred windows and ice cold floors did nothing to make me more comfortable.
我討厭更衣室。儘管窗戶和冰冷的地板並沒有讓我感到更舒服，但與其說它是一個物理場所，不如說它是一個物理場所。

The beginning of the year was the worst...when everyone had to own up to what size navy blue, snap-down-the-front, elastic-waist gym suit would fit them. Oh, how I envied the girls who would yell out effortlessly, "Mandy Smith, small" or "Sue Swarthout, medium." In my own
今年年初是最糟糕的…每個人都必須承認自己穿的海軍藍、前按扣、鬆緊腰健身服適合自己的尺寸。哦，我多麼羨慕那些能毫不費力地喊出“曼迪·史密斯，小號”或“蘇·斯沃索特，中號”的女孩們。在我自己的

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struggling mind, I imagined shouting out, "Jo Weiss, medium," knowing that my extra-large body could never fit into a size medium gym suit. Maybe I could order a size medium and exchange it after class. I even pondered cutting the tag out of someone else's medium gym suit and sewing it into my own, so that if someone saw it lying around, they would think I was just like everyone else.
內心掙扎著，我想像大喊“喬·韋斯，中號”，因為我知道我的超大身體永遠無法穿進中號運動服。也許我可以訂購中號並在課後更換。我甚至考慮從別人的中號運動服上剪下標籤，縫到自己的身上，這樣如果有人看到它躺在周圍，他們就會認為我和其他人一樣。

After all, that's what I wanted...to be like everyone else. I wanted soft round boobs instead of pointy ones. I wanted to weigh 95 pounds instead of 135. I wanted a flat stomach instead of that roll of fat that hung just below my belly button. I wanted my jeans to hang straight down from my butt instead of sticking to my thick thighs. And most of all, I wanted to be able to wear a size medium navy blue gym suit, just like everyone else.
畢竟，這就是我想要的……和其他人一樣。我想要柔軟的圓形胸部而不是尖尖的胸部。我想要體重 95 磅，而不是 135 磅。我希望我的牛仔褲從我的屁股上直接垂下來，而不是粘在我粗壯的大腿上。最重要的是，我希望能夠像其他人一樣穿著中號海軍藍色運動服。

Why we had to wear those things made no logical sense. But then, when I was thirteen, a lot of things didn't make sense. This locker room ritual felt like some plot to point out who didn't fit in...to the gym suits.
為什麼我們必須穿這些東西，這毫無邏輯可言。但當我十三歲的時候，很多事情都變得沒有意義了。這個更衣室儀式感覺就像是一個陰謀，旨在指出誰不適合健身服。

Jo, 37
喬，37 歲

Jo's mother wrote this letter after she read "The Locker Room." Sometimes in telling our stories, we can set someone else free!
喬的母親在讀完《更衣室》後寫了這封信。有時，透過講述我們的故事，我們可以讓別人自由！

Dear Jo,
親愛的喬，

I just finished reading your locker room story. I cried for you, and for me. I am so sorry and ashamed that while you were going through those embarrassing times, I didn't sense your anxiety and pain. When I was that age, I felt the same way. I weighed the same, and my boobs were pointy, too. I've never told you this because the memories were just too hard to face.
我剛剛讀完你的更衣室故事。我為你哭泣，也為自己哭泣。我很抱歉和羞愧，當你經歷那些尷尬的時刻時，我沒有感受到你的焦慮和痛苦。當我在那個年紀的時候，我也有同樣的感覺。我的體重也是一樣，而且我的胸部也很尖。我從來沒有告訴過你這些，因為那些回憶太難面對。

When I was in ninth grade, I hated wearing my gym suit. I despised so much that at one point I pretended to have a pain in my side to get out of gym. Two days in a row it worked. But on the third day, my mother insisted on taking me to old Doc Mervine's office to get it checked out. After the exam, the doctor announced to my mother that my appendix was badly inflamed and needed to be removed immediately. I sat up on
當我九年級時，我討厭穿體操服。我非常鄙視，以至於有一次我假裝身體一側疼痛離開健身房。連續兩天就見效了。但到了第三天，我媽媽堅持要帶我去老默文醫生的辦公室檢查一下。檢查後，醫生告訴我媽媽，我的闌尾發炎嚴重，需要立即切除。我坐起來

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the exam table and shouted, "I lied about the pain. I only did it to get out of gym!"
在檢查台上大喊：“我謊報了疼痛。我這樣做只是為了離開健身房！”

The next morning, out came the old doc's knife and a very diseased appendix, covered with cysts! Thank God my guardian angel wasn't one of those completely honest ones! When you and your brothers were kids, I always warned you that you shouldn't lie about being sick. Some old doc may just take you too seriously and lop off something that you want to keep!
第二天早上，取出了老醫生的刀和一個病得很嚴重的闌尾，上面長滿了囊腫！感謝上帝，我的守護天使不是那些完全誠實的天使之一！當你和你的兄弟還是孩子的時候，我總是警告你不該謊稱生病了。一些老醫生可能只是太認真地對待你並砍掉你想保留的東西！

I am so proud of you for not letting that fragile teenage self-image hold you back. You have become a confident, whole, and strong woman. Even though I wasn't a very good listener back then, thank you for letting me know this part of you now. Your story has set my own beautiful, pointy-boobed, full-bellied teenager free.
我為你感到驕傲，因為你沒有讓脆弱的青少年自我形象阻礙你。你已經成為一個自信、完整、堅強的女人。儘管當時我不是一個很好的傾聽者，但謝謝你現在讓我了解了你的這一部分。你的故事讓我自己的美麗、尖胸、大腹便便的少女獲得了自由。

~ PATTI, 63, JUST THE RIGHT SIZE
~ Patti，63 歲，尺寸剛好

The first step in challenging a negative body image is to really accept what we are feeling. This young woman allowed the self-critical noise in her head to lead her to a place where she could create a new image of physical beauty for herself.
挑戰負面身體形象的第一步是真正接受我們的感受。這位年輕女子讓頭腦中的自我批評噪音引導她到達一個可以為自己創造外在美的新形象的地方。

The Sculpture
雕塑

I hated my body. I particularly despised my stomach. I had heard all of the stories about anorexia and bulimia, but I knew I could never bring myself to that. So I continued to eat and eat, while trying to shove down my feelings of guilt. I thought like an anorexic, but never lost weight. I finally reached the point where I couldn't be alone with my thoughts. All I could think about was how fat my stomach was.
我討厭我的身體。我特別鄙視自己的胃。我聽過所有關於厭食症和貪食症的故事，但我知道我永遠無法做到這一點。於是我繼續吃啊吃，同時努力壓下我的愧疚感。我想像一個厭食症患者，但從未減重。我終於到了無法獨自思考的地步。我所能想到的就是我的肚子有多胖。

Earlier that year, I had gone to a local art museum with some friends. It didn't take me long to wander off, exploring the museum and its treasures. Eventually I found myself on the fifth floor looking at a figure of a woman carved in stone. Named Diva, she was well-endowed in every
那年早些時候，我和一些朋友去了當地的藝術博物館。沒多久我就開始閒逛，探索博物館及其寶藏。最後我發現自己在五樓，看著一個石頭雕刻的女人雕像。她名叫 Diva，在各方面都天賦異稟。

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way...round and voluptuous. I found her very beautiful. Her image stayed with me all summer, calling me to return.
方式...圓潤而性感。我發現她非常漂亮。她的形象整個夏天都伴隨著我，召喚我回來。

Whenever the self-critical chatter in my head became overwhelming, I would go to the museum to visit Diva. Eventually I took my sketch book and charcoal pencil with me. I sat quietly with her and slowly began to accept my own physical beauty. As I drew picture after picture of Diva, I began to realize that the images on the page looked a lot like what I saw when I looked in the mirror...and it was beautiful.
每當我腦中的自我批評變得難以承受時，我就會去博物館拜訪 Diva。最終我帶著我的素描本和炭筆。我靜靜地坐在她身邊，慢慢開始接受自己的外表美。當我畫一張又一張 Diva 的照片時，我開始意識到頁面上的圖像看起來很像我照鏡子時看到的……而且很漂亮。

Although I still had a long way to go toward loving my own body, drawing those curves on the fifth floor of the art museum gave me a great jump-start to a happy self-image.
儘管我距離熱愛自己的身體還有很長的路要走，但在美術館五樓畫出這些曲線給了我一個很好的起點，讓我建立了快樂的自我形象。

Cellulite Blues
橘皮組織藍調

~ LYDIA, 15
~ 莉迪亞，15 歲

Her dimpled bottom, so smooth and round like fresh baked bread, makes me smile.
她那有酒窩的屁股，光滑圓潤，就像新鮮出爐的麵包一樣，讓我微笑。

Why is it that we spend our whole lives trying to get rid of the very fat we were born with? The same dimpled bottom and thighs that make relatives giggle with delight when we are babies lure teens and adults into obsessive dieting, fuel a multibillion dollar weight loss industry, and inspire countless inventions to "rid yourself of unsightly cellulite." Isn't it ironic?
為什麼我們一輩子都在努力擺脫與生俱來的脂肪？當我們還是嬰兒時，讓親戚們高興地咯咯笑的同樣有酒窩的臀部和大腿，吸引著青少年和成年人進行強迫性節食，推動了價值數十億美元的減肥產業，並激發了無數發明“擺脫難看的脂肪團」。這不是很諷刺嗎？

The next time I get out of the shower and glance at the valleys and rolling hills of cellulite on my butt, I will smile. After all, it has been behind me for forty years. Maybe it's time I accept that it is part of me.
下次當我洗完澡，看到屁股上的山谷和起伏的橘皮組織時，我會微笑。畢竟，它已經在我身後四十年了。也許是時候我承認它是我的一部分了。

~ ANONYMOUS, 40, SMILING
~ 匿名，40 歲，微笑

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Girls and women experience ridicule and emotional pain because of many physical differences. This woman reflects on feeling out of place because she is thin.
由於許多身體差異，女孩和婦女會遭受嘲笑和情感痛苦。這位女士反思自己因為瘦而感覺格格不入。

A SKINNY GIRL IN A DIRT YARD
土院裡的瘦女孩

I was a skinny girl in a dirt yard. When I was young, people would see me and comment, "You're so skinny!" They'd see my bones and think I was underfed, sickly. Well, maybe I was, but only a little. They'd look at me and feel sorry for me. Even my friends, who I'd look at and see their Plump, rounded, healthy, happy bodies and faces, and Wonder why I was so skinny.
我是一個在骯髒的院子裡瘦弱的女孩。小時候，別人看到我都會說：“你好瘦啊！”他們看到我的骨頭就會認為我營養不良、體弱多病。嗯，也許我是，但只有一點點。他們會看著我，為我感到難過。甚至我的朋友們，我看著他們豐滿、圓潤、健康、快樂的身體和臉孔，也會想知道為什麼我這麼瘦。

When I was older, people would still comment, "You're so skinny!" They'd look at me and see my bones and think that I was born lucky
當我長大後，人們仍然會評論說：“你太瘦了！”他們看著我，看到我的骨頭，認為我生來就很幸運

Not to have to exercise; Think I was lucky that I could wear whatever fashion I chose. They'd look at me and feel jealous of me. Even my friends, who I'd look at and see their Rounded limbs, womanly bodies, soft, welcoming figures, and Wonder why I was so hard and skinny.
不必鍛鍊；我想我很幸運，我可以穿我選擇的任何時尚。他們會看著我並嫉妒我。甚至我的朋友們，我會看著他們圓潤的四肢、女性般的身體、柔軟、熱情的身材，並想知道為什麼我如此堅硬和瘦弱。

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Now I am older and people still tell me, "You're so skinny!" But now I don't know what they see. I don't know what they feel. I don't know why it should matter anyway. If people turn off the TV, close those magazines, and
現在我年紀大了，人們仍然告訴我：“你太瘦了！”但現在我不知道他們看到了什麼。我不知道他們的感受如何。無論如何，我不知道為什麼它很重要。如果人們關掉電視，合上那些雜誌，然後

open their eyes,
睜開眼睛，

They'll see who people really are.
他們會看到人們的真實面。

I wish they would see past "thin" or "fat" and
我希望他們能看到過去的“瘦”或“胖”

Find out that we are all neither.
發現我們都不是。

~Genevieve, 30, single mother
~Genevieve，30 歲，單親母親

A time comes when we are ready to make a statement to the world about who we are in the bodies that we live in. Through our clothing, body piercing, tattoos, acrylic nails, hair dye, and other ways in which we adorn ourselves as women and girls, we find ways of saying, "I am me!” But nothing seems to say who we are more than our jeans....
總有一天，我們準備好向世界宣告我們在我們所居住的身體中是誰。各種方式說：“我就是我！”但似乎沒有什麼比我們的牛仔褲更能說明我們是誰了…

The Right Fit
合適的選擇

I went to the mall today with my daughter. She had to exchange a pair of jeans that we gave her for Hanukkah. They didn't fit, she thought they were ugly, and she can't believe that I thought she'd like them.
今天我和女兒一起去了商場。她不得不換掉我們在光明節送給她的一條牛仔褲。它們不合適，她認為它們很醜，而且她不敢相信我認為她會喜歡它們。

We went to four stores. She tried on fifteen pairs of jeans. It was actually pretty fun for a while; me throwing countless pairs of pants over the dressing room door, my daughter yelling for bigger or smaller sizes. It felt like a real "mother-daughter bonding experience."
我們去了四家商店。她試穿了十五條牛仔褲。有一段時間，這確實很有趣；我把無數條褲子扔到更衣室門上，我女兒大喊大叫或小號。這感覺就像是一次真正的「母女感情體驗」。

36

After about forty-five minutes, my patience began to wear thin. I kept trying to talk her into this pair or that pair, and she kept saying, "Mom..." with that tone that only teenagers have. I couldn't believe that a pair of jeans could cause such a problem in her teenage life! Some jeans were too small. Some made her look fat. Some were the wrong name brand, and others were "just like so-and-so's."
大約四十五分鐘後，我的耐心開始消失。我一直試圖說服她加入這一對或那對，而她一直用只有青少年才有的語氣說「媽媽…」。我不敢相信一條牛仔褲會為她的青少年生活帶來這樣的問題！有些牛仔褲太小了。有些讓她看起來很胖。有些是錯誤的品牌，有些則「就像某某的一樣」。

While my daughter was trying on the thirteenth pair of jeans, I decided to take a walk around the department store. As I walked, I began to realize what I was supposed to be learning here....
當我女兒試穿第十三條牛仔褲時，我決定在百貨公司散步。當我走路時，我開始意識到我應該在這裡學到什麼...

My daughter knows what she wants. She knows how to say no to me. She knows what makes her feel good. She is patient enough to wait for just the right fit. Suddenly I was impressed, rather than disgusted!
我女兒知道她想要什麼。她知道如何對我說不。她知道什麼讓她感覺良好。她有足夠的耐心等待合適的人選。突然我不覺得噁心，反而覺得很感動！

I went back to meet her. There she was, standing confidently in the dressing room door, smiling that crooked smile of hers. A pair of jeans that looked like they were made for her hugged her round hips. I smiled and sighed, and quietly said thank you for an amazing young woman who knows herself a whole lot better than I did at her age.
我回去見她。她就在那裡，自信地站在更衣室門口，微笑著她那扭曲的笑容。一條看起來像是為她量身訂做的牛仔褲，緊緊地抱住了她渾圓的臀部。我微笑著嘆了口氣，輕聲對一位出色的年輕女子表示感謝，她比我在她這個年紀更了解自己。

ROCHELLE, 44
羅謝爾，44 歲

~ -

Hair. We use it to express our personalities. It even affects our moods. A "bad hair day" can mess up everything! We braid it, extend it, perm it, condition it, cut it, dye it, relax it, curl it, and shave it... all to make a statement about who we are.
頭髮。我們用它來表達我們的個性。它甚至會影響我們的情緒。 「糟糕的髮型日」可能會搞砸一切！我們編辮子、拉長頭髮、燙髮、調理、剪髮、染髮、鬆弛、捲曲、剃毛……這一切都是為了彰顯我們的身分。

"When I cut my hair, I felt like I didn't have anything to hide behind anymore. It felt like an important thing to do, like I was opening up to my independence."
「當我剪掉頭髮時，我覺得我不再有任何東西可以隱藏了。這感覺像是一件重要的事情要做，就像我正在向自己的獨立開放。”

~ SARAH, 15
〜莎拉，15 歲

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Cutting Class, Cutting Hair
逃課、剪頭髮

Our hair had always been long, at least midway down our backs. But it was the end of the school year, we were all sixteen, and the time had come to make a statement to the world.
我們的頭髮一直很長，至少是到後背的中間。但那是學年結束時，我們都十六歲了，是時候向世界發表聲明了。

Joanie had decided to embark on a career in haircutting, so she offered to test her skills on the three of us. While sitting around the lunch table, we cleverly planned our secret adventure. When the bell rang for the next class, we took a slight detour out the back door, skipping school for the first and only time in our lives.
喬安妮決定開始理髮職業，所以她主動提出在我們三個人身上測試她的技能。當我們圍坐在午餐桌旁時，我們巧妙地計劃了我們的秘密冒險。當下節課的鈴聲響起時，我們稍微繞道從後門出去，這是我們一生中第一次也是唯一一次逃學。

Thirty minutes later, there we sat in Joanie's kitchen, as snip by snip we watched our hair fall to the linoleum floor. Leslie's hair was straight and blond, mine was brown and curly, while Karen's was red and wavy. Joanie worked diligently, giving each of us the same haircut, although the three of us still looked really different when it was over.
三十分鐘後，我們坐在喬安妮的廚房裡，看著我們的頭髮一點一點地掉到油氈地板上。萊斯利的頭髮是金色的直發，我的頭髮是棕色的捲髮，而凱倫的頭髮是紅色的波浪狀。喬安妮工作很勤奮，給我們每個人都剪了同樣的髮型，儘管結束後我們三個看起來還是很不一樣。

We felt so free that day! Free from the voices of our peers, which insisted that long hair was cool. Free from our parents' opinions, since they knew nothing of our haircutting plans. Free from the heavy influence of boyfriends, who all thought that long hair was most attractive. We were free, and we had finally made our statement to the world.
那天我們覺得很自由！不受同儕堅持認為長髮很酷的聲音的影響。不受父母意見的影響，因為他們對我們的理髮計劃一無所知。不受男友的影響，都認為長髮最有吸引力。我們自由了，我們終於向世界發表了我們的聲明。

~ ANNE, 42
~ 安妮，42 歲

Today, young women pierce everything from belly buttons to tongues as a way to express their individuality. The following story is a traditional ear- piercing tale, but it reflects the rebellious spirit that we sometimes follow as teenagers to show the world who we are.
如今，年輕女性會刺穿從肚臍到舌頭的各個部位，以此表達自己的個性。以下的故事是一個傳統的刺耳故事，但它反映了我們在青少年時期有時會遵循的叛逆精神，以向世界展示我們是誰。

A Bold Step
大膽的一步

When I was in junior high, I pierced my own ears. I took a large needle with some thick thread and plunged it through my earlobes. The thread held open the huge hole. In order to hide it from my family, I covered the
國中的時候，我自己給自己打過耳洞。我拿起一根帶有粗線的大針，將它插入我的耳垂。線把這個大洞撐開了。為了瞞著家人，我遮住了

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thread with makeup, and wound the end of the thread around my glasses so it wouldn't show. It worked okay, until my ears got infected.
用化妝品線，然後將線的末端纏繞在我的眼鏡上，這樣就不會露出來了。效果很好，直到我的耳朵感染了。

One day, my mother found me at the bathroom sink, earlobes huge and red. She guessed what I had done. I couldn't believe that she didn't disapprove! Instead, she calmly expressed her concern about sanitation. I had not even thought about that! I took the thread out, dabbed some alcohol on my earlobes, slipped in some earrings, and eventually the infection cleared up. This was my bold step towards femininity and individuality in my high school, and I was grateful that my mom understood.
有一天，媽媽在浴室的水槽邊發現了我，我的耳垂又大又紅。她猜到我做了什麼。我簡直不敢相信她竟然沒有反對！相反，她平靜地表達了她對衛生問題的擔憂。我什至沒有想到這一點！我把線拿出來，在耳垂上抹了一些酒精，戴上一些耳環，最後感染消失了。這是我在高中時邁向女性氣質和個性的大膽一步，我很感激媽媽的理解。

- ANONYMOUS, 47 ~
- 匿名, 47 ~

In the last part of this chapter, you will find ideas and stories about things that women and girls do to feel good about themselves. You may want to take the time to collect more ideas from your friends and the other women in your life.
在本章的最後部分，您將找到有關婦女和女孩為自我感覺良好所做的事情的想法和故事。您可能想花時間從您的朋友和生活中的其他女性那裡收集更多想法。

Free Throws
罰球

Participation in athletics has always given me a confidence in my body and its capabilities. It has allowed me to know my strengths, and to recognize and improve upon my weaknesses. I enjoy being strong, even powerful! I like the feeling that I get when I run harder, achieve more, really sweat, and hit more free throws. I've known from an early age that I could count on my body, feel connected to it, and be happy with the way I look.
參與運動一直讓我對自己的身體及其能力充滿信心。它讓我認識自己的優點，認識自己的缺點並加以改進。我喜歡堅強，甚至強大！我喜歡當我跑得更努力、取得更多成績、流汗、罰球更多時的感覺。我從小就知道我可以依靠自己的身體，感受到與它的聯繫，並對自己的外表感到滿意。

FAYE, 41, MOM AND
菲，41 歲，媽媽和

- ~

FORMER PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE
前職業運動員

The Joys of Skinny-Dipping
裸泳的樂趣

We all entered the world in our naturally beautiful state of nudity. Skinny- dipping is not only harmless and fun, but it returns us to our true selves
我們都以自然美麗的裸體狀態來到這個世界。裸泳不僅無害又有趣，還能讓我們回歸真實的自己

39

in a single moment. Floating in water again, we feel the fresh feelings of openness and vulnerability while at the same time enjoying the sensations of being naked in the water.
在某一瞬間。再次漂浮在水中，我們感受到開放和脆弱的新鮮感覺，同時享受赤身裸體在水中的感覺。

We were born not worrying about our bodies, and yet, as we age, few of us escape the message that our bodies are somehow "not right." How ridiculous! Skinny-dipping allows us to believe that our bodies are completely right. How could they be anything else?
我們生來就不擔心自己的身體，然而，隨著年齡的增長，很少人能逃避這樣的訊息：我們的身體在某種程度上「不對勁」。多麼可笑啊！裸泳讓我們相信我們的身體是完全正確的。他們怎麼可能是別的東西呢？

~ ANONYMOUS, 40
~ 匿名，40 歲

Smile for the Camera
對著鏡頭微笑

I recently noticed that I looked pretty good in pictures taken about twenty years ago, and I couldn't imagine why I hadn't thought so back then. So now my trick is to imagine myself twenty years from now. I suddenly feel so young, and I want to have my picture taken so I can look at it later and think, "Hey, I looked pretty nice!" I want my picture taken so I'll have a record of myself... so I won't be invisible anymore. I am suddenly beginning to enjoy this process of living, and the amazing changes that happen whether we want them to or not. We bloom and we fade, and there's a lot in between. It's always the beginning of something, and always the end.
我最近注意到，在大約二十年前拍攝的照片中，我看起來相當不錯，我無法想像為什麼我當時沒有這麼想。所以現在我的技巧是想像二十年後的自己。我突然覺得自己很年輕，我想拍張照片，這樣我以後看的時候就會想：“嘿，我看起來很漂亮！”我想要拍一張照片，這樣我就能記錄自己……這樣我就不會再隱形了。我突然開始享受這個人生的過程，以及無論我們願意與否，所發生的驚人改變。我們盛開又凋零，中間有很多事情。它總是某件事的開始，也總是結束。

Sort It Out
整理一下

~ SUSAN, 53, "GOOD AT THINGS I REALLY CAN'T DO"
~ SUSAN，53 歲，“擅長做我真正做不到的事情”

It is important to be yourself. Believe in yourself, and most of all, love yourself...especially your body. This is a messed-up culture we live in, and very mixed messages are sent to young girls. I had to teach myself to love my body. It is beautiful, and I am glad that it is the way it is. I wish all girls could think that, too.
做自己很重要。相信自己，最重要的是，愛自己…尤其是你的身體。我們生活在一個混亂的文化中，向年輕女孩傳遞的訊息非常複雜。我必須教導自己愛護自己的身體。它很美麗，我很高興它就是這樣的。我希望所有女孩也能這麼想。

Life is so confusing at this age. Your body and mind are often telling you two different things. It's your job to sort it out!
這個年紀的生活是如此的混亂。你的身體和思想經常告訴你兩件不同的事情。你的工作就是解決這個問題！

~ ANONYMOUS, 15
~ 匿名，15 歲

40

Ways to Feel Good About Yourself
讓自己感覺良好的方法

The following is a collection of things that girls and women do to feel good about themselves. These are all suggestions from the women and girls whose voices you hear on the pages of this book. Feel free to add your own ideas, and to gather ideas from your friends and family.
以下是女孩和女性為了自我感覺良好所做的一系列事情。這些都是來自婦女和女孩的建議，您可以在本書中聽到她們的聲音。請隨意添加您自己的想法，並從您的朋友和家人那裡收集想法。

"Make your room at home a creative reflection of you. Surround yourself with the colors, textures, and images that help you feel really good."
“讓你家裡的房間成為你的創意反映。讓你周圍的顏色、紋理和圖像讓你感覺非常好。”

"Find an older woman whom you admire and spend time with her. Go for a walk together."
“找一個你欣賞的年長女人，和她一起度過。一起去散步。”

"Get outside. Walk in the woods, and you will find your place in the world again."
「出去吧。在樹林裡走走，你會再次找到你在世界上的位置。”

"Stand out in the rain and get soaked for no good rea- son."
「站在雨中，無緣無故地被淋濕。」

"I like to look at my baby pictures. I can't believe that I was so tiny and beautiful."
“我喜歡看我嬰兒時期的照片。我不敢相信我這麼小這麼漂亮。”

"I love to crank up the music really loud, and dance around my house!"
“我喜歡把音樂開得很大聲，然後在我的房子周圍跳舞！”

"If you are really upset, find someone to cry with. Find someone who won't give you advice, but just lets you cry."
“如果你真的很難過，就找個人一起哭。找一個不會給你建議、只會讓你哭的人。”

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There's a Voice
有一個聲音

Inside This Body
在這個身體裡

Holding On to Who You Really Are
堅持真實的自己

W hen you were born, you cried out loud and clear, announcing your new life to the world. As infants, we express ourselves with total freedom. Many people say that we are closest to our true selves as human beings in the first two to three weeks of life. Maybe that's one of the reasons we find babies so lovable!
當你出生的時候，你大聲地哭著，向世界宣告你的新生命。身為嬰兒，我們完全自由地表達自己。許多人說，我們在生命的最初兩到三週內最接近人類的真實自我。也許這就是我們覺得嬰兒如此可愛的原因之一！

In the beginning of this chapter, you will hear women and girls describe how they experience their own inner voice. Some women actually hear a voice in their heads that they recognize as their own. For some, it is a sense of knowing or intuition. Still other girls and women identify their voices through their spirituality and their relationship with something bigger than themselves in this world.
在本章開頭，你會聽到婦女和女孩描述她們如何體驗自己內心的聲音。有些女性實際上在腦海中聽到了一個她們認為是自己的聲音。對某些人來說，這是一種了解或直覺的感覺。還有一些女孩和婦女透過她們的靈性以及她們與這個世界上比她們自己更偉大的事物的關係來識別她們的聲音。

When do you hear your own voice? Who in your life allows you to use your voice freely? Is it quietly hidden away, or do you hear it all the time? When do you feel most like yourself? Listen. There is a voice inside your body....
什麼時候聽得到自己的聲音？在你的生命中，誰允許你自由地使用你的聲音？它是悄悄地隱藏起來，還是你一直聽到？什麼時候感覺最像你自己？聽。你的身體裡有個聲音...

3.

45

DEEP DOWN INSIDE
內心深處

There is a voice inside this body.
這個身體裡有一個聲音。

I hear it all the time.
我一直聽到它。

It's not just my conscience. It's me.
這不僅僅是我的良心。這就是我。

It's with me when I am happy and when I am sad.
當我快樂的時候，當我悲傷的時候，它都在我身邊。

Even when I can't hear it, it is there.
即使我聽不到它，它也在那裡。

When people don't understand who I am,
當人們不明白我是誰時

The voice tells me they don't have to.
聲音告訴我他們不必這樣做。

Only I do.
只有我這樣做。

Sometimes I am mad at my voice.
有時我對自己的聲音很生氣。

Why can't it make people like me?
為什麼它不能讓人們喜歡我呢？

Why can't it make me be good at things?
為什麼它不能讓我擅長做事？

But my voice says, "Be who you are. Be who you can be."
但我的聲音說：“做你自己。做你能成為的人。”

My voice can't stop me from getting hurt,
我的聲音無法阻止我受傷

But it can help me speak up and defend myself.
但它可以幫助我發聲並為自己辯護。

My voice can be heard if I let it out.
如果我發出聲音，就能聽到我的聲音。

I can talk, but sometimes I don't,
我會說話，但有時不會

Because I keep my voice way deep down inside.
因為我把自己的聲音藏在內心深處。

I don't want everyone to know all of me all of the time.
我不想讓每個人一直都了解我的全部。

There is a voice inside this body.
這個身體裡有一個聲音。

Deep down inside.
內心深處。

~Caitlin, 14
〜凱特琳，14 歲

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What Everyone Said
大家都說了什麼

me of the sky, shining like a star."
天空中的我，像星星一樣閃耀。

My mother said, “You remind My father said, "You remind me of your mother, as happy as a clam."
媽媽說：“你讓我想起了。”爸爸說：“你讓我想起了你的媽媽，開心極了。”

My sister said, "You remind me of your brother, as annoying as a bug."
姐姐說：“你讓我想起了你哥哥，像蟲子一樣煩人。”

My brother said, "You remind me of my friends, you always play with me."
哥哥說：“你讓我想起了我的朋友們，你總是和我一起玩。”

And I said, "I remind me of me."
我說：“我讓我想起了我自己。”

~Kelly, 12
〜凱莉，12 歲

Women and girls sometimes hear their true voices most clearly when they tune into their spirituality. This young woman found her own inner light when she lost her uncle to cancer.
女性和女孩有時在調整自己的靈性時最清楚地聽到自己真實的聲音。當她的叔叔因癌症去世時，這位年輕女子發現了自己內心的光明。

The Ball of Light
光球

He was a monkey's uncle, or so he said. Now, after fifteen years of battling cancer, this was it. He was about to die.
他是一隻猴子的叔叔，至少他是這麼說的。現在，經過十五年與癌症的鬥爭，一切都結束了。他快要死了。

I loved him so much. We always seemed to have a deep connection. His six-foot-three, bearded, bearlike physique always gave me a sense of security and calmness.
我非常愛他。我們似乎總是有著深厚的連結。他身高六英尺三，留著鬍子，熊般的體格總是給我一種安全感和平靜感。

He always said, "We are not human doings, but human beings." I think he realized this after lying in countless hospital beds for what must have seemed like an eternity.
他總是說：「我們不是人做的事，而是人」。我認為他在無數醫院病床上躺了似乎永恆的時間後意識到了這一點。

Anyway, he was now five hundred miles away in a hospital bed, paralyzed from the chest down and about to die. I was horrified, alone in my
不管怎樣，他現在躺在五百英里外的醫院病床上，胸部以下癱瘓，行將死去。我很害怕，獨自一人在我的

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own bed, crying my eyes out. I needed guidance, and asked for the courage to see the truth of what was happening.
自己的床上，哭得眼睛都腫起來了。我需要指導，並請求有勇氣看到正在發生的事情的真相。

That night I had a vision. There was a great ball of light, the size of an orange, with a hand just like mine reaching towards it. Although the hand never touched the light, it was warmed by its glow. This light seemed to wash all over me and filled me with a deep comfort that released my fear.
那天晚上我看到了一個異象。那裡有一個橘子大小的巨大光球，一隻和我一樣的手伸向它。雖然手從未接觸過光芒，但它的光芒讓手感到溫暖。這光似乎洗遍了我的全身，讓我充滿了深深的安慰，釋放了我的恐懼。

I knew from that moment on that everything would be okay. I knew that the light would always be inside of me...all I had to do was accept it.
從那一刻起我就知道一切都會好起來的。我知道光永遠在我內心……我所要做的就是接受它。

This light may take many forms for many people. However, my Uncle Kelly taught me that whatever it is, it is important to be still, to listen, and to "just be" so that we are able to realize its presence. It is in me. It is me.
對許多人來說，這種光可能有多種形式。然而，我的凱利叔叔告訴我，無論它是什麼，重要的是保持靜止、傾聽和“只是存在”，這樣我們才能意識到它的存在。它在我體內。是我。

~ LYDIA, 13
~ 莉迪亞，13 歲

Through speaking out and learning from our experiences, we find our true selves. If we are lucky, we have people in our lives who listen and act like amplifiers to help us hear the power in our own voices. This young woman was fortunate to have such a mentor in her life....
透過說出自己的想法並從經驗中學習，我們找到了真實的自我。如果幸運的話，生活中會有人像擴大機一樣傾聽並幫助我們聽到自己聲音的力量。這位年輕女子一生有幸遇到這樣的導師...

“Question, Argue, Explore"
“提問、爭論、探索”

One of the biggest tests of adolescence is standing up for what you believe in, even when you feel like you are on the outside of things. Once when I was in sixth grade, my history teacher made a somewhat sexist comment. I raised my hand and said, "That is a really sexist thing to say!" My teacher was surprised, but ended up agreeing with me.
青春期最大的考驗之一就是堅持自己的信念，即使你感覺自己處於事物之外。有一次，當我六年級時，我的歷史老師發表了一個帶有性別歧視色彩的評論。我舉起手說：“這真是性別歧視的話！”我的老師很驚訝，但最終同意了我的觀點。

It was that same teacher who helped me realize that I had something a lot of kids didn't have. His motto was "Question, Argue, Explore," and that is just what I did. Popularity didn't matter as much anymore. I realized that I could speak up for myself.
正是那位老師幫助我體認到我擁有很多孩子所沒有的東西。他的座右銘是“提問、爭論、探索”，而這正是我所做的。人氣已經不再那麼重要了。我意識到我可以為自己說話。

~ CHRISTINE, 20,
〜克里斯汀，20 歲，

JOURNALISM STUDENT
新聞系學生

48

One of the strongest voices that we experience as human beings is what many women call intuition. Intuition is the ability to know something without any rational information. We just know. Hearing about other women's experiences can sometimes help us recognize our own intuitive voices...
身為人類，我們所經歷的最強烈的聲音之一就是許多女性所說的直覺。直覺是在沒有任何理性訊息的情況下認識事物的能力。我們只知道。聆聽其他女性的經驗有時可以幫助我們辨識自己直覺的聲音...

"Intuition is like the electric current running in my house. It is always there. I just have to be still enough to plug into it."
“直覺就像我家裡流動的電流。它一直都在那裡。我只需要保持足夠的安靜就可以插入它。”

"I feel intuition. It isn't a voice or something I hear. It is something I feel. This may sound strange, but I feel it in my left shoulder. It's a tingling feeling that won't go away until I pay close attention to something that's going on in my life."
「我感覺到直覺。這不是我聽到的聲音或其他東西。這是我感覺到的東西。這可能聽起來很奇怪，但我在我的左肩上感覺到了它。這是一種刺痛的感覺，除非我靠近，否則不會消失。

"Sometimes intuition comes to me in my dreams. A dream can stir my imagination and I will begin to see my life differently."
「有時候，直覺會在夢中降臨到我身上。夢可以激發我的想像力，我會開始以不同的方式看待我的生活。”

“I have never felt a stronger sense of intuition than when I became a mother. From the primitive urges that I experienced in childbirth to simply knowing when the silence of my two-year-old meant trouble, I have been constantly amazed by how strong it can be."
「我從未感受到比成為母親時更強烈的直覺。從我在分娩時經歷的原始衝動，到僅僅知道我兩歲孩子的沉默何時意味著麻煩，我一直對它的強烈程度感到驚訝。

"Intuition feels itchy like poison ivy. It bugs you until you scratch it.
「直覺就像毒藤一樣讓人發癢。它讓你煩惱，直到你撓它為止。

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Do you recognize any of these feelings or sensations? If you do, pay attention! They may be a great inner gift...your intuition!
您認清這些感受或感覺嗎？如果你這樣做，請注意！它們可能是一份很棒的內在禮物…你的直覺！

Learning to listen to our inner voice means listening with our whole selves. Sometimes our bodies send us messages that our minds are too busy to figure out. Headaches, "nervous butterflies," sleeplessness, and stomachaches are just a few of the ways that our bodies try to speak to us. Listen to these symptoms before you label them as "bad" or something to get rid of right away. Your body, your mind, and your spirit are inseparable. Together, they are your wisest teachers.
學會傾聽內心的聲音意味著用我們的整個自我來傾聽。有時，我們的身體會向我們發送一些我們的大腦太忙而無法理解的訊息。頭痛、「緊張不安」、失眠和胃痛只是我們的身體試圖與我們對話的幾種方式。在將這些症狀標記為「不好」或需要立即消除的標籤之前，先聽聽這些症狀。你的身體、你的思想和你的精神是密不可分的。他們在一起就是你最明智的老師。

The Stomachache
胃痛

There will be times in your life when your stomach will feel like it's in knots. You will have what I call the infamous female stomachache. When this happens, stop and listen with your whole body.
在您的生活中，有時您會感覺胃部打結。你將會患上我所謂的「臭名昭著的女性胃痛」。發生這種情況時，請停下來，用全身來傾聽。

Girls and women often assume that these knots are negative. We define them as nervousness, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and guilt. But before you apply these definitions to your stomachache, listen to your body very deeply and breathe! You may discover that the knots are the beginning of something positive, such as your spirit and soul trying to break free, your intelligence trying to find a way out, or a deep knowing that something is not right for you.
女孩和婦女常常認為這些結是負面的。我們將它們定義為緊張、焦慮、憂鬱、自卑和內疚。但在將這些定義應用於胃痛之前，請深深地傾聽身體的聲音並呼吸！你可能會發現結是一些正面事物的開始，例如你的精神和靈魂試圖掙脫束縛，你的智慧試圖找到出路，或者深刻地認識到某些事情不適合你。

We are often discouraged from acknowledging what we know in our stomachs...in our guts! Redefine your stomachache. The next time someone tells you to trust your gut, do it! It is from trusting this place in your body that you will begin to learn about all that is beautiful in life and in being female. Your gut is the center of your universe!
我們常常不願意承認我們內心所知道的事……在我們的腸道裡！重新定義你的胃痛。下次當有人告訴你要相信你的直覺時，就去做吧！透過信任你身體中的這個地方，你將開始了解生活中和身為女性的一切美好事物。你的腸道就是你宇宙的中心！

~ GWEN, 41, A CELEBRATOR OF WOMANNESS
~ 葛溫，41 歲，女性的推崇者

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I AM
我是

I am not exactly who you think I am.
我並不完全是你想像的那樣。

I am not quiet.
我不安靜。

I am not shy.
我並不害羞。

I am not sweet and innocent.
我並不可愛、天真。

I am loud. I am talkative and outgoing.
我聲音很大。我很健談，個性外向。

I am like the ocean, sometimes calm, sometimes wild. I am a rose... watch out for the thorns! I am a pumpkin, hard on the outside, soft on the inside. I am a curious cat that loves attention but is also independent.
我就像大海，時而平靜，時而狂野。我是一朵玫瑰……小心帶刺！我是一個南瓜，外面很硬，裡面軟。我是一隻好奇的貓，喜歡受到關注，但也很獨立。

I am not the same person I was a year ago.
我已經不再是一年前的我了。

I am changing. I am different.
我正在改變。我不一樣。

I am.
我是。

anonymous, 14
匿名, 14

S 51
51號

Peer pressure, heavy family expectations, racial or sexual discrimination, and low self-esteem are some of the forces that can push our true selves out of our daily lives. On the following pages, women and girls tell stories of losing their voices, and share what they have learned about remembering who they really are.
同儕壓力、沉重的家庭期望、種族或性別歧視以及低自尊都是一些可能將我們的真實自我推離日常生活的力量。在接下來的幾頁中，婦女和女孩講述了失去聲音的故事，並分享了她們在記住自己真實身份方面所學到的知識。

I Lost Myself
我迷失了自己

I lost myself for three years of my adolescent life. When I was a freshman in high school, I met a popular, smart, good-looking guy who was a senior. From day one, I gave him my power. I was only 14 at the time. I gave him everything I had.
我在青春期的三年裡迷失了自己。當我還是高中一年級學生時，我遇到了一位受歡迎、聰明、英俊的高年級男生。從第一天起，我就給了他我的力量。當時我只有14歲。我給了他我所擁有的一切。

I remember a telephone conversation early in our relationship when he told me exactly who he wanted me to be. He wanted me to be his princess, his perfect image of a girlfriend. So, being the innocent young girl that I was, I became his. I thought that we were in love and that love meant "giving." Unfortunately, I had not yet learned that this giving should be an equal, balanced, give and take. I kept giving and he kept taking. I lost who I was.
我記得我們關係早期的一次電話交談，當時他準確地告訴了我他希望我成為什麼樣的人。他希望我成為他的公主，他完美的女朋友形象。所以，作為一個天真無邪的年輕女孩，我成了他的。我以為我們相愛，而愛就意味著「給予」。不幸的是，我還不知道這種給予應該是平等的、平衡的、給予和索取。我不斷付出，他不斷索取。我失去了我是誰。

Our three-year relationship was built on power struggles, guilt, and insecurities. He had a low sense of self-esteem and made himself feel better by controlling me. In turn, I lost all of my other friends, endured his emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse, and had no life outside of my relationship with him. I thought that we were in love, and since I was totally invested in that love and in him, it was difficult to see past it. While he was abusing me, I was losing me.
我們三年的關係是建立在權力鬥爭、罪惡感和不安全感之上的。他的自尊心很低，透過控制我來讓自己感覺好一點。反過來，我失去了所有其他朋友，忍受他的情感、言語和性虐待，除了與他的關係之外，我沒有任何生活。我以為我們相愛了，因為我完全投入了這份愛和他身上，所以很難超越它。當他虐待我時，我卻失去了自我。

People tried to help, but the more they tried, the more I clung to him. My mother even forced me to go into therapy in the hope that I would realize what was happening to me. But no one else could convince me. No one but the one percent of myself that I had tucked away for safekeeping.
人們試圖提供幫助，但他們越努力，我就越黏著他。我的母親甚至強迫我接受治療，希望我能意識到發生在我身上的事。但沒有人能說服我。沒有人，只有我自己藏起來的百分之一。

The "self" that I had hidden away could only take so much. I finally began to open my eyes and my mind to the situation. I began to see my
我隱藏起來的「自我」只能承受這麼多。我終於開始睜開眼睛和頭腦來看待這種情況。我開始看到我的

52 52

boyfriend in a different light, and although I still loved him, I began to hate what he was doing. I realized that I was a good person. I was important, strong, beautiful, and an individual who had a lot to offer to the world and to myself...not just to him.
男朋友在不同的角度，雖然我仍然愛他，但我開始討厭他所做的事情。我意識到我是一個好人。我很重要，很堅強，很美麗，是一個可以為世界和我自己提供很多東西的人……而不僅僅是他。

The one percent of myself that I had tucked away slowly multiplied, and I found myself again. I saw the light and grabbed it in order to keep myself out of the darkness. It took twice as long to heal, twice as long to rediscover my whole self as it did to give it away. Now, after six years, I write this story with my heart, soul, mind, energy, and strength, united in me……a powerful woman.
我隱藏起來的百分之一的自己慢慢地倍增，我又找到了自己。我看到了光，並抓住了它，以使自己遠離黑暗。我花了兩倍的時間來治愈，重新發現我的整個自我，比放棄它要花兩倍的時間。現在，六年後，我用我的心、靈魂、思想、能量和力量寫下了這個故事，我是一個強大的女人。

~ AMY, 22
〜艾米，22 歲

A Hiding Soul
隱藏的靈魂

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get it to stop. It kept saying, "Snap out of it. You gotta measure up. We don't have time for this. Remember, perfect is our goal. Be beautiful. Everyone likes a pretty girl. Think faster. What would they say if you were no longer an A student? Why is this so hard for you?"
無論我如何努力，我就是無法讓它停下來。它一直在說，「振作起來。你必須達到標準。我們沒有時間這樣做。記住，完美是我們的目標。要美麗。每個人都喜歡漂亮的女孩。更快地思考。如果你是，他們會怎麼說不再是A級學生了？

This inner critic echoed through my head, and I screamed to make it go away. I looked into the mirror and saw someone I didn't recognize. She wasn't beautiful to my bloodshot eyes. She looked tired. Tired of being the girl whom everyone thinks has it all...a nice family, good friends, good grades. What more could anyone want? Myself, maybe.
這種內在的批評在我的腦海中迴響，我尖叫著讓它消失。我照鏡子，看到一個我不認識的人。在我佈滿血絲的眼睛裡，她並不美麗。她看起來很累。厭倦了成為每個人都認為擁有一切的女孩…美好的家庭、好朋友、好成績。人們還想要什麼？我自己，也許吧。

So I started looking for myself. I pushed that critical voice to the back of my head and told it to go away. It wasn't welcome here anymore.
於是我開始尋找自己。我把那個批評的聲音推到腦後，讓它消失。這裡不再受歡迎了。

But it was still there. In the morning I found myself once again at the mirror putting on makeup (which I once considered a primitive mating ritual), trying to be the "pretty girl" my inner critic needed me to be.
但它仍然在那裡。早上，我發現自己再次對著鏡子化妝（我曾經認為這是一種原始的交配儀式），試圖成為我內心的批評者需要我成為的「漂亮女孩」。

I am still trying. I will always be trying to make the critic go away. Someday this maniac in my head will disappear and I will emerge. My soul, wherever I have put it, will come out of hiding and it will be beautiful.
我還在努力。我會一直努力讓批評者消失。總有一天，我腦子裡的這個瘋子會消失，我會出現。我的靈魂，無論我把它放在哪裡，都會從隱藏的地方出來，它會是美麗的。

~ SARAH, 15
〜莎拉，15 歲

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I realize that sometimes I hide behind who everyone thinks I am. Now I want to be different from the way everyone sees me. It is hard to break through their expectations.
我意識到有時我會隱藏在每個人都認為我是誰的背後。現在我想和大家眼中的我有所不同。很難突破他們的期望。

~ TAHEENIA, 17
~ 塔希尼亞，17 歲

If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say. Don't Say Anything at All
如果你沒有什麼好話要說。什麼也不說

My parents believed that this was a good message to instill in their five daughters. The only problem for me was that I sometimes had thoughts and feelings that were not positive and nice. So what was I to do with all of the other stuff that didn't fit in to the nice category? The anger? Sadness? Fear? The confusing part for me was trying to figure out what it meant for me to have these feelings. Did it mean that I wasn't nice?
我的父母認為這是向他們的五個女兒灌輸的好訊息。對我來說唯一的問題是有時我的想法和感受並不積極和美好。那麼我該如何處理所有其他不屬於好類別的東西呢？憤怒？悲傷？害怕？讓我感到困惑的是試圖弄清楚這些感覺對我意味著什麼。這是不是說明我不友善？

As a growing young woman, I came to value relationships above all else, like good girls are supposed to do. I learned that being nice means saying only nice things. Nice is safe, it doesn't rock the boat, it isn't loud, or controversial, and it isn't likely to threaten anyone.
身為一個成長中的年輕女性，我開始將人際關係看得高於一切，就像好女孩應該做的那樣。我了解到，友善意味著只說友善的話。尼斯很安全，不會擾亂局勢，不會吵鬧，也不會引起爭議，不太可能威脅到任何人。

At the age of fourteen, I was getting really good at being nice. I had many friends, dated a lot, got along with my parents, and got good grades. However, there was a part of me that I had disowned and had forced to go underground. The anger, fear, confusion, the questions about sex, death, and the big issues of life were not up for discussion. They were messy and might make somebody feel uncomfortable. The little voice that raised all of these issues stayed quiet for many years.
十四歲的時候，我已經很擅長表現得友善了。我有很多朋友，約會過很多次，和父母相處融洽，成績也很好。然而，我的一部分已經被否認並被迫轉入地下。憤怒、恐懼、困惑、關於性、死亡的問題以及生活中的重大問題都沒有被討論。它們很亂，可能會讓某人感到不舒服。提出所有這些問題的微小聲音多年來一直保持沉默。

It wasn't until I left home and went to college and heard the voices of others that I remembered my own. I finally heard a message of permission and encouragement to share and explore all of the parts of myself.
直到我離開家，上了大學，聽到了別人的聲音，我才想起了自己的聲音。我終於聽到了一個允許和鼓勵我分享和探索自己所有部分的訊息。

With a loving woman therapist as my guide, I learned how to give a voice to my anger, my tears, fears and conflicts. It was a painful, messy, complicated process, which was definitely not "nice." But I emerged a stronger, more complete woman, able to express and explore a whole range of feelings. 

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Twenty years after venturing into the darker parts of myself, I am still a nice woman. However, now I am able to say what I want to in a way that is respectful to myself and others. 

I think the biggest challenge in becoming a woman is finding your own internal voice, learning to turn up the volume so you can listen clearly to what it is saying, and then having the courage to express yourself fully and without apology. 

My own daughter is seven now. I will not give her the message that my parents gave me. My message to her is: "When you are still and quiet, you can hear your own voice inside really clearly. Listen carefully and it will guide you to speak your own truth." My hope is that her journey to womanhood will be a little easier than mine was. 

~ MARY, 42, MOTHER OF TWO, PSYCHOTHERAPIST 

This young woman writes about how we sometimes hide behind masks that we wear in order to please others, afraid to show the world our true feelings. 

TEARDROPS FALLING FROM BEHIND IRON MASKS I sometimes wonder who decides when it is time to cry. We've all been taught to wear our masks. Never letting them fall away from our faces. Never letting the light of day Slip behind the iron masks. Never exposing our pain. The iron mask may protect us from the storm. 

But what happens when the 

55

Random raindrops slip inside and 

Turn our emotions, which 

We have strived hard to master, 

Into 

Nothing 

More Than rust? 

Maybe someday when all is safe, 

Our masks will fall away from our faces 

And crumble to the ground in a
並在一個

Cloud of dust.
塵煙。

The tears will be allowed to fall
淚水將被允許落下

Freely.
自由自在。

Exposing who we really are.
暴露我們的真實身份。

~Maya, 17
〜瑪雅，17 歲

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There are many ways to lose your voice, but just as many ways to begin to reclaim it. One way that you can express your own true voice is by writing in a journal or a diary. Taking time to just write...about your life, your dreams, your fears and hopes, gives your inner voice a place to hang out. A journal can be a good friend. It never disagrees with you, and if you keep it in a safe place, it never betrays your secrets. Here are some stories about how women and girls have found writing in a journal to be a great outlet....
失去聲音的方法有很多，但恢復聲音的方法也有很多。表達自己真實聲音的一種方法是寫日記或日記。花時間寫下你的生活、你的夢想、你的恐懼和希望，讓你內在的聲音有一個表達的地方。日記可以成為好朋友。它永遠不會與你意見不同，如果你把它放在安全的地方，它永遠不會洩露你的秘密。以下是一些關於婦女和女孩如何發現寫日記是一個很好的發洩方式的故事...

My Place
我的地方

There were so many times when I thought I was the only one on the planet. I thought I was completely misunderstood and unloved by everyone. I was a master at wallowing in my sorrow, and made an art out of moodiness. I needed an outlet for all of my feelings, a way to express the turbulence that was going on inside me. I began to write in a journal. This was my place. No one but me could enter it. A place where I could safely go and not worry about whether I was wearing the right clothes, if my boobs were ever going to grow, or if I was friends with the right people. In my journal I could say whatever I wanted to say, no matter how mean, stupid, sentimental, cheesy, or sad...no rules. It was, and still is, my refuge...a place where I can just be.
有很多次我以為我是這個星球上唯一的人。我以為我完全被大家誤解和不愛了。我是沉浸在悲傷中的高手，並把喜怒無常變成一門藝術。我需要一個發洩所有情感的出口，一種表達我內心的動盪的方式。我開始寫日記。這是我的地方。除了我之外沒有人可以進入。一個我可以安全去的地方，不用擔心我是否穿著合適的衣服，我的胸部是否會長大，或者我是否與合適的人成為朋友。在我的日記中，我可以說任何我想說的話，無論多麼刻薄、愚蠢、多愁善感、俗氣或悲傷……沒有規則。它過去是，現在仍然是我的避難所……一個我可以安身立命的地方。

~JENNIFER, 22, CRISIS QUEEN
~JENNIFER，22 歲，危機女王

My Box of Journals
我的日記箱

When I was a teenager, I had a very small voice. It was the last thing I worried about. The size of my nose, my behind, and my breasts were much more important to me.
當我十幾歲的時候，我的聲音很小。這是我最後擔心的事。我的鼻子、臀部和胸部的大小對我來說更重要。

My voice was small, but inside I had a great desire to express myself, so I began to write. The idea came from my friend, Erna. She was, and still is, a prolific writer, and one of my best teachers. I wrote journals, some-
我的聲音雖小，但內心卻有著強烈的表達慾望，於是開始寫作。這個想法來自我的朋友艾爾娜。她過去是，現在仍然是一位多產的作家，也是我最好的老師之一。我寫日記，一些——

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times filling one up in just a week. I wrote in pencil, ballpoint, fountain pen, in Batman notebooks, and in serious hardcover blank books. I just had to write.
時間在短短一周內就填滿了。我用鉛筆、原子筆、鋼筆、蝙蝠俠筆記本和嚴肅的精裝空白書寫作。我只得寫。

My journals became a collection of my teenage life. All of the things that I couldn't say to another human, I said to my books. My first period, feelings of alienation, crazy family, crushes and broken hearts, best friends, fears, and general confusion are all recorded in scribbled, elaborate detail.
我的日記成了我青少年生活的收藏。所有我不能對另一個人說的話，我都對我的書說了。我的第一個時期，疏離感、瘋狂的家庭、迷戀和破碎的心、最好的朋友、恐懼和普遍的困惑都被潦草地記錄下來，詳細的細節。

After a few years, I learned to speak. Not loud, not well, and always with the fear of saying the wrong thing or hurting someone. With the power of speech gained, my once busy pen sat unused. Why write when you can talk?
幾年後，我學會了說話。聲音不大，語氣不好，總是害怕說錯話或傷害別人。隨著語言能力的增強，我曾經忙碌的筆卻閒置了。當你能說話時為什麼要寫作？

All of my journals, saved for something, went into a large cardboard box, sealed up with packing tape and neatly labeled. More journals came afterward, but not as often. Then the stream of writing finally stopped, except for a few tiny spits and starts.
我所有的日記，為了某種目的而保存下來，都裝進了一個大紙板箱，用包裝帶密封並整齊地貼上標籤。隨後出現了更多期刊，但頻率不高。然後，寫作的洪流終於停止了，除了一些微小的吐槽和開始。

I am now 32 years old, and have begun to call myself a writer. I don't write journals, fiction, poetry, or anything like that. I write as part of my profession. But I still have my box of journals. I have carried them with me faithfully, out of my parents' home years ago, across the United States from East Coast to West, through many cities, to where I now live. In all those years and all those cities, I never had the courage to open up the box. The tape is intact, and I am afraid to disturb it. I didn't plan to ignore my journals. I didn't plan to stop writing them, either.
我現在32歲了，開始稱自己為作家。我不寫日記、小說、詩或類似的東西。我寫作是我職業的一部分。但我仍然保留我的日記盒。我忠實地帶著它們，多年前離開父母的家，穿越美國，從東海岸到西海岸，穿過許多城市，到我現在居住的地方。這麼多年，這麼多城市，我從來沒有勇氣打開盒子。磁帶完好無損，我怕弄亂它。我並不打算忽略我的日記。我也不打算停止寫它們。

Why haven't I opened the box? It has to do with fear. Fear of meeting my teenage self again without wanting to escape in one way or another. I am afraid to see who I was, to see what I have lost, what I dreamed I might be and have not yet become. I am afraid to be disappointed. Still, I have carried the box with me, like a small cage of memories, just in case. Now it sits, waiting for me, and I think I am getting ready to open it up. One night soon, when I am all alone, I will tear off the old gray tape and visit that teenager with my face, my nose, my name, and see how she's doing after all this time.
為什麼我還沒打開盒子？這與恐懼有關。害怕再次見到少年時的自己，卻又不想以某種方式逃脫。我害怕看到我是誰，看到我失去了什麼，我夢想自己可能成為什麼但尚未成為什麼。我怕要失望了。儘管如此，我還是隨身攜帶了這個盒子，就像一個裝滿回憶的小籠子，以防萬一。現在它就在那裡等著我，我想我已經準備好打開它了。不久的一個晚上，當我獨自一人時，我會撕下舊的灰色膠帶，用我的臉、我的鼻子、我的名字去拜訪那個少年，看看她在這段時間之後過得怎麼樣。

~ MARIA, 32
~ 瑪麗亞，32 歲

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In addition to writing in a journal, finding other ways to express yourself creatively can help you discover and hold onto your inner voice. Music, art, drama, and dance are just some of the ways to express yourself. Find what works for you and do it!
除了寫日記之外，尋找其他方式來創造性地表達自己可以幫助您發現並保持內心的聲音。音樂、藝術、戲劇和舞蹈只是表達自我的一些方式。找到適合您的方法並去做！

Square Peg
方釘

I was a skinny, awkward adolescent, weighing 100 pounds soaking wet. I was full of turmoil and emotions; I was a square peg in the round world. I coped by writing poetry, often expressing my desire for acceptance and recognition of my inner self. I played music for hours, convinced that the lyrics of James Taylor, Gordon Lightfoot, and Cat Stevens were written in the same type of confusion that I held in mind.
我是一個骨瘦如柴、笨拙的青少年，體重 100 磅，全身濕透。我心裡充滿了忐忑和感慨；我是圓形世界中的一個方釘。我透過寫詩來應對，經常表達我對接納和認可內在自我的渴望。我演奏了幾個小時的音樂，確信詹姆斯·泰勒、戈登·萊特富特和凱特·史蒂文斯的歌詞與我心中的困惑是一樣的。

In my junior year in high school, at my third school in three years, I took a risk and joined the Drama Club. At first I stayed backstage, building sets and helping with costumes. With the guidance and support of a caring teacher, I tried out for a play and got the part. From the moment I stepped on the stage, the emotional clouds I was experiencing began to fade. I felt that I was unique and worthy of acceptance. I was truly me.
高中三年級，三年內第三所學校，我冒險加入了戲劇社。起初我待在後台，搭建佈景並幫忙製作服裝。在一位充滿愛心的老師的指導和支持下，我試演了一部戲，並得到了這個角色。從踏上舞台的那一刻起，我的情緒陰雲就開始消散。我覺得我是獨一無二的，值得被接受。我確實是我。

Now in my thirty-eighth year, as a mother of two, a professional and wife, I have found my way back to the stage in a community theater. To my delight, it still holds its magic, and I am lifted by my uniqueness while performing. You can find some magic in the world for yourself, and when you do, hold onto it! Let it help you express who you really are!
現在，我已經三十八歲了，作為兩個孩子的母親、一個職業人士和妻子，我找到了重返社區劇院舞台的方法。令我高興的是，它仍然保持著它的魔力，表演時我為自己的獨特性而感到振奮。你可以在這個世界上為自己找到一些魔法，當你發現時，請堅持下去！讓它幫助您表達真實的自己！

~ SHERYL, 38, SOCIAL WORKER, MOTHER, WIFE -
~ Sheryl，38 歲，社工、母親、妻子 -

Drawing Me Out
把我引出來

When I was a teenager, the act of drawing took my mind away from my problems. Every Sunday I would isolate myself in the dining room and spend the afternoon drawing. I was the only one in my family interested
當我十幾歲的時候，繪畫的行為讓我的注意力從我的問題上轉移開。每個週日我都會把自己隔離在餐廳裡，用下午的時間畫畫。我是家裡唯一有興趣的人

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in art. I felt special because I had my paper and my pencils. It meant a lot to me because I had many siblings, and there wasn't much that was just mine. I felt proud and honored when one of my parents or siblings commented positively on my work. However, they criticized my art much more than they praised it. It was typical of them. They always had very high expectations of me, and I felt that I was never good enough. In my case, it worked to my advantage. It made me become even more determined and work even harder.
在藝術中。我覺得很特別，因為我有紙和鉛筆。這對我來說意義重大，因為我有很多兄弟姊妹，而只有我自己的兄弟姊妹並不多。當我的父母或兄弟姐妹之一對我的工作給予正面評價時，我感到自豪和榮幸。然而，他們對我的藝術的批評多於讚揚。這是他們的典型。他們總是對我抱有很高的期望，而我卻覺得自己永遠不夠好。就我而言，這對我有利。這讓我更加堅定，更加努力。

I still enjoy creating. Art helps me express what I am feeling and who I am.
我仍然享受創作。藝術幫助我表達我的感受和我是誰。

My Friend, Bear
我的朋友，熊

~ NADINE, 39, MOTHER OF THREE
~ 納丁，39 歲，三個孩子的母親

I had a lot of good times when I was a teenager. What I remember most, though, aren't the crazy, fun times hanging out with friends. My favorite memories are of the hours spent out in the woods behind our house with my dog, Bear. I still have him. He is fourteen now, gray-faced and delightful. Bear and I have spent many afternoons walking, sitting, and daydreaming in the woods. Those times helped me find peace and safety in a world that seemed chaotic. Those afternoons taught me patience, faith, and love for the natural world. They shaped me into the woman that I am now.
當我十幾歲的時候，我度過了很多美好的時光。然而，我最記得的並不是和朋友們一起度過的瘋狂有趣的時光。我最喜歡的回憶是和我的狗「熊」在屋後的樹林裡度過的時光。我還有他。他現在十四歲了，臉色灰白，但很可愛。我和小熊花了許多個下午在樹林裡散步、坐著、做白日夢。那些時光幫助我在一個看似混亂的世界中找到了平靜和安全。那些下午教會了我對自然世界的耐心、信念和熱愛。他們把我塑造成現在這樣的女人。

I still make time to be alone. I call it my "down time." Without this time for myself, I feel scattered, tense, and tired. The woods are my favorite place to retreat. There I feel most in touch with myself...clear and joyful. The colors and scents are calming and help me focus on what is most important. There is no one to distract me, no one to please, to be smart or pretty for. I come back home feeling centered and full of energy.
我仍然抽出時間獨處。我稱之為我的「休息時間」。沒有了屬於自己的時間，我感到散亂、緊張、疲倦。樹林是我最喜歡的休息場所。在那裡我感覺最能與自己接觸……清晰而快樂。顏色和氣味令人平靜，幫助我專注於最重要的事情。沒有人可以分散我的注意力，沒有人可以取悅我，沒有人可以讓我變得聰明或漂亮。回到家，我感覺精神集中、精力充沛。

Making time to be alone is not always easy. You have to make it a priority. A good way to start is to notice when you feel anxious or confused. Ask yourself if it would help to be alone. If the answer is yes, you might
騰出時間獨處並不總是那麼容易。你必須把它當作優先事項。一個好的開始方法是注意何時感到焦慮或困惑。問問自己獨處是否有幫助。如果答案是肯定的，您可能會

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take a short walk or find another way to give yourself some space. Making time alone is all about your health and happiness!
散步或尋找其他方式給自己一些空間。騰出獨處時間關係到您的健康與幸福！

~ MARIA, 32
~ 瑪麗亞，32 歲

Oatmeal in My Brain
我腦子裡的燕麥片

Sometimes I love to be alone. I can't explain the feelings that I have then. I can clear away the "oatmeal" that surrounds my brain and protects it from the outside world. I can breathe. I can think about random things. I can untangle the knotted thoughts I have about the world and the people in my life.
有時我喜歡一個人。我無法解釋我當時的感受。我可以清除大腦周圍的“燕麥片”並保護它免受外界影響。我可以呼吸了。我可以隨意思考一些事情。我可以解開我對這個世界和我生活中的人的糾結的想法。

~ ANONYMOUs, 14
~ 匿名者，14

We all have different places and times in our lives when we feel the most comfortable and at ease. In those moments, our true voices are often closest to the surface. Here are some examples of situations where women and girls feel free to be who they really are:
我們在生活中都會有不同的地方和時間，當我們感到最舒適和輕鬆時。在那些時刻，我們的真實聲音往往最接近表面。以下是女性和女孩可以自由地做真實的自己的一些例子：

"When I am home alone, writing" age 11
「當我一個人在家時，寫作」11歲

"When I cry" age 17
《當我哭泣時》17歲

"When I'm sitting in my rocking chair." age 12
“當我坐在搖椅上的時候。” 12歲

"When I am working on my photo albums." age 25
“當我製作相簿時。” 25歲

"When I am out in the deep woods, walking and
「當我在樹林深處散步時

listening" age 75
聆聽」75歲

"When I am spending time with my mom." age 16
“當我和媽媽在一起的時候。” 16歲

"When I am exercising." age 41
“當我鍛鍊的時候。” 41歲

"When I am at home with my family." age 53
“當我和家人一起在家的時候。” 53歲

"When I have just done the impossible." age 17
“當我剛剛完成不可能的事情時。” 17歲

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"When I am writing music." age 39
“當我寫音樂的時候。” 39歲

"When I am hanging out at home with my friends." age 10
“當我和朋友們在家閒逛的時候。” 10歲

"When I am naked." age 40
“當我赤身裸體的時候。” 40歲

"When I am praying." age 88
“當我祈禱的時候。” 88歲

"When I am performing and I am in tune with the audience." age 28
“當我表演時，我與觀眾保持一致。” 28歲

"When something delicious is baking in the oven." age 36
“當烤箱裡烤著美味的東西時。” 36歲

"When I am working in my garden in the spring." age 26
“當我春天在花園裡工作的時候。” 26歲

When do you feel safe and comfortable in your life?
您在生活中什麼時候感到安全和舒適？

G

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The Birth of Knowing
認識的誕生

True story...no kidding. It happened one morning as I started out for a run. I had taken along my bright yellow Sony Walkman so I could get lost in the music rather than in the pain of my first long run in a week. As I nudged the earphones into my ears, I realized that the batteries had died. The Walkman was no good to me now, and with little time or energy to run back up the hill to the house, I tucked it into my mailbox at the end of the driveway.
真實的故事……不是開玩笑。事情發生在一天早上，當我開始跑步時。我帶著我的亮黃色索尼隨身聽，這樣我就可以沉浸在音樂中，而不是沉浸在一周以來第一次長跑的痛苦中。當我把耳機塞進耳朵時，我意識到電池沒電了。隨身聽現在對我來說沒什麼用了，我幾乎沒有時間和精力跑回山上的房子，我把它塞進了車道盡頭的郵箱裡。

Beautiful day. Great run. Five miles and forty-five minutes later, I found myself back at the mailbox, reaching in to retrieve the Walkman from its hiding place. As I pulled it out, I noticed something very strange. There in my hand was a bright yellow portable tape-player, but it was dirty, broken, not a Sony, and not mine. I was stunned.
美好的一天。跑得很好。五英里四十五分鐘後，我發現自己回到了郵箱，伸手從隱藏的地方取回隨身聽。當我把它拿出來時，我注意到一些非常奇怪的事情。我手裡拿著一台亮黃色的隨身錄音機，但它又髒又壞，不是索尼的，也不是我的。我驚呆了。

"This is like something out of the Twilight Zone," I thought to myself. Perplexed and confused, I walked up the hill and began to figure out what had happened. Someone had been watching me, and had seen me put my Sony Walkman into the mailbox at the start of my run. Holding their own broken "wannabe" yellow tape player in their hands, the temptation of my brand new Sony resting in the mailbox undid them. Some time over the next forty-five minutes, two realities traded places.
「這就像是來自暮光區的東西，」我心想。我感到困惑和困惑，走上山，開始弄清楚發生了什麼事。有人一直在看著我，並看到我在跑步開始時將索尼隨身聽放入郵箱。他們手裡拿著自己破爛的「想要的」黃色磁帶播放器，郵箱裡放著的全新索尼的誘惑讓他們崩潰了。在接下來的四十五分鐘裡，兩個現實交換了位置。

Back in my kitchen, as I gazed at the dirty, portable tape player on my counter, the anger wafted in. I felt invaded. Taken advantage of. Someone had been watching me. Someone had deliberately stolen my Walkman in broad daylight. It felt real now. No Twilight Zone.
回到廚房，當我看著櫃檯上髒兮兮的隨身錄音機時，憤怒油然而生。被利用了。有人一直在看著我。有人在光天化日之下故意偷走了我的隨身聽。現在感覺很真實。沒有暮光之城。

A couple of hours later, having walked by the replacement tape player for the fifth time, the disgust finally got to me. I swooped the filthy thing off of my counter and stuffed it into the garbage. I wanted no reminders of this event.
幾個小時後，第五次經過更換的卡帶播放器時，我終於感到厭惡。我把那個骯髒的東西從櫃檯上扔下來，丟進了垃圾桶。我不想讓任何人想起這件事。

I had completed my letting-go ritual. It was done, or so I thought. Moments later, I went to the kitchen to get a drink and looked out my window. A teenage girl was opening my mailbox! Without thinking, I ran to the garbage, grabbed the "wannabe," and ran down the hill towards the girl.
我已經完成了我的放手儀式。事情已經完成了，至少我是這麼想的。過了一會兒，我到廚房拿了一杯飲料，看著窗外。一個十幾歲的女孩打開了我的信箱！我不假思索地跑到垃圾堆前，抓起“想要的人”，朝山下的女孩跑去。

"Hey you!," I yelled to her across the busy street.
「嘿，你！」我在繁忙的街道對面對她喊道。

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She stood there stunned, like a deer transfixed in the headlights of an oncoming car. In a split second, before I realized what was happening, she started running towards me. When she came within about ten feet, she reached into her backpack and pulled out my Sony Walkman. "I couldn't do it," she said simply.
她目瞪口呆地站在那裡，就像一頭鹿被迎面駛來的汽車的車燈驚呆了。一瞬間，在我意識到發生了什麼事之前，她開始向我跑來。當她來到大約十英尺的地方時，她把手伸進背包，拿出我的索尼隨身聽。 「我做不到，」她簡單地說。

I held out her tape player, and we traded places once more. “You did the right thing," I responded.
我拿出她的錄音機，我們再次交換了位置。 「你做了正確的事，」我回答。

And with no other words spoken, she turned and walked away. As I walked up the driveway, the immensity of this event hit me, and I turned to watch her leave, wanting to hold onto this lesson. She too had stopped to look back at me. She waved, and I gave her a thumbs up. All was forgiven. All was understood.
說完，她沒有再說什麼，轉身就走。當我走上車道時，這件事的嚴重性震驚了我，我轉身看著她離開，想要記住這個教訓。她也停下來回頭看我。她向我揮手，我向她豎起大拇指。一切都原諒了。一切都明白了。

As I look back at this true story, I feel blessed to have been part of a rich moment in this young girl's life. She heard her inner voice, and despite the weight of her previous actions, she allowed it to lead her towards her own truth. Honesty is the place where our true voice thrives. When we are willing to be honest with ourselves and with others, even when it hurts, we learn and grow from our experiences.
當我回顧這個真實的故事時，我感到很幸運能夠成為這個年輕女孩生命中豐富時刻的一部分。她聽到了自己內心的聲音，儘管她之前的行為很沉重，但她還是讓它引導她走向自己的真理。誠實是我們真實聲音得以發揚光大的地方。當我們願意對自己和他人誠實時，即使這會帶來傷害，我們也會從經驗中學習和成長。

I will never know what possessed her to take my Walkman in the first place, or what exactly inspired her to return it. I would like to think that she experienced her own "knowing" and responded. If that is true, the moral decisions she faces from this day forward may be a little easier if she continues to listen to her own guiding voice.
我永遠不會知道是什麼促使她一開始拿走我的隨身聽，或者到底是什麼促使她歸還它。我想她經歷了自己的「了解」並做出了回應。如果這是真的，那麼如果她繼續傾聽自己的指導聲音，從今天起她面臨的道德決定可能會更容易。

We all make mistakes, but it is never too late to say you are
我們都會犯錯，但說你犯了錯永遠不嫌晚

sorry.
對不起。

~ BUNNY, 39, THANKFUL
~ 兔子，39 歲，感恩

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What I've Learned
我學到了什麼

My teenage years aren't over yet, but I have already learned some important things. This is a time of discovery, frustration, and questions. It is a time to develop my mind, body and spirit; a time to search for answers about who I am and what I was put on this earth to do. It's a time to find my voice. Here are a few more things I have learned:
我的青少年時期還沒結束，但我已經學到了一些重要的東西。這是一個充滿發現、挫折和疑問的時代。這是一個發展我的思想、身體和精神的時期；是時候尋找關於我是誰以及我來到這個地球上做什麼的答案。是時候找到我的聲音了。以下是我學到的一些東西：

No one is perfect.
沒有人是完美的。

Take risks.
冒險。

Challenge yourself.
挑戰自己。

Be brave.
勇敢一點。

Don't be ashamed to be who you really are.
不要為自己做真實的自己而感到羞恥。

Be open and ready to learn.
保持開放並準備好學習。

If you are bored, ask yourself if you're the one who's boring.
如果你覺得無聊，問問自己是不是那個無聊的人。

Realize that you are going to go crazy sometimes.
意識到有時你會發瘋。

Be someone you are proud of.
成為一個讓你感到驕傲的人。

Learn from your mistakes.
從錯誤中學習。

Have fun!
玩得開心！

Life as a teenager can be just plain weird. Sometimes you love it, but other times it is sad and nothing seems fair. We all get different shares of each. Remember to try to be positive at least once in awhile. No matter what, you are never truly alone. There is someone who feels just like you out there. Your life is a gift. It is yours alone. Dare to make a difference!
青少年時期的生活可能會很奇怪。有時你很喜歡它，但有時卻很悲傷，似乎沒有什麼是公平的。我們每個人都得到不同的份額。記住至少偶爾要保持正面的態度。無論如何，你永遠不會真正孤獨。那裡有人跟你感覺一樣。你的生命是一份禮物。這是你一個人的。敢於做出改變！

~ CLARA, 15
~ 克拉拉，15 歲

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C

Fitting In
融入

Peers, Friends. and the Social Scene
同行，朋友。和社交場景

riendships may be more important to you now than anything
現在對你來說友誼可能比什麼都重要

Friendships are great... friendships are complicated. What does friend- ship mean to you?
友誼是偉大的……友誼是複雜的。友誼對你來說意味著什麼？

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4

F₁ else in your world. A true friend helps you to see who you really are, at a time when you may not be so sure any more. Your feelings about how you fit in with friends and peers spill over into every area of your life. Some girls feel as though they are being pulled in many different directions at once. They're absolutely sure how they feel about something one minute, then just as quickly, something happens and they need to conform to the popular opinion instead. At a time when we are moving away from the strong influence of family, we learn many valuable lessons from our friendships.
F₁ 你的世界裡的其他地方。當你可能不再那麼確定時，真正的朋友會幫助你看清真正的自己。您對如何與朋友和同儕相處的感受會滲透到您生活的各個層面。有些女孩感覺自己好像同時被拉向許多不同的方向。他們在一分鐘內絕對確定自己對某件事的感受，然後同樣快地，事情發生了，他們需要順應流行的觀點。當我們遠離家庭的強大影響時，我們從友誼中學到了許多寶貴的教訓。

She Really Understands
她真的明白

I have many acquaintances, but only a handful of people I can truly call my friends. A friend is someone to whom I can tell my deepest, silliest, but real fears, without worrying that she will laugh at me or tell others that I am a jerk. Most acquaintances will help out when there is an emergency, but a true friend will be there when you just need to say your thoughts out loud. Male friends can listen when you're troubled, and are often very good at trying to find a solution to a problem, but my women friends truly understand my hurts, fears, and worries.
我的熟人很多，但真正能稱為朋友的人卻屈指可數。朋友是我可以向她訴說我最深、最愚蠢但真實的恐懼的人，而不用擔心她會嘲笑我或告訴別人我是個混蛋。大多數熟人都會在緊急情況下提供幫助，但真正的朋友會在您只需大聲說出自己的想法時出現。當你遇到麻煩時，男性朋友可以傾聽你的心聲，並且往往很善於尋找問題的解決方案，但我的女性朋友真正理解我的傷害、恐懼和擔憂。

Girlfriends
女朋友

~ ANONYMOUS, 21
~ 匿名，21 歲

There is something quite unique about friendships between women. We share a bond like sisters...maybe it really is a sisterhood! We have all had similar experiences being women on this planet together, and those experiences mean a lot. Women are also able to show affection to one another more easily, whether it's a hug or a simple clutch of the arm. There is a certain beauty and strength that women give to each other, which makes friendships between women all the more wonderful.
女性之間的友誼有一些非常獨特的東西。我們就像姐妹一樣……也許這真的是姐妹情誼！身為這個星球上的女性，我們都有過類似的經歷，這些經歷意義重大。女性也能夠更輕鬆地向彼此表達愛意，無論是擁抱還是簡單的挽臂。女性彼此賦予彼此一定的美麗和力量，這使得女性之間的友誼變得更加美好。

~ DANIELA, 19
~ 丹妮拉，19 歲

Think about the qualities you look for in a true friend as you read how girls and women define the friendships in their lives....
當您閱讀女孩和婦女如何定義生活中的友誼時，請想一想您在真正的朋友身上尋找的品質...

A friend is someone you trust, and she trusts you, too. She will never tell your secrets, but in return, you must never tell hers. To have a good friend, you have to be a good friend.
朋友是你信任的人，她也信任你。她永遠不會告訴你的秘密，但作為回報，你也永遠不能告訴她的秘密。要有一個好朋友，你必須成為一個好朋友。

~ARIEL, 12, A GOOD FRIEND
~ARIEL，12 歲，好朋友

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Friends are wonderful to have and share a laugh with, but close friends are something to hold onto. They are precious gems. And although they may be "high maintenance" and need frequent polishing, in the end, they will be there to shine and make you feel great.
擁有朋友並一起歡笑是件好事，但親密的朋友是值得堅守的。它們是珍貴的寶石。儘管它們可能「維護成本很高」並且需要經常打磨，但最終它們會閃閃發光，讓您感覺很棒。

~ ANN, 20
〜安，20

The best definition of friendship that I can think of is from the philosopher Aristotle. "What is a friend? It is a single soul dwelling in two bodies."
我能想到的友誼最好的定義來自哲學家亞里斯多德。 “什麼是朋友？是居住在兩個身體中的同一個靈魂。”

~ MARTHA, COLLEGE STUDENT
~ 瑪莎，大學生

Dolls. Donuts, and Boyfriends
娃娃。甜甜圈和男友

One of the very first things a child learns about friendship is that you have to deal with kids your own age a little differently than you deal with your parents. Kids have a way of fighting back and saying hurtful things sometimes. Most parents try not to do that.
孩子學到的關於友誼的第一件事就是，你對待同齡孩子的方式必須與對待父母的方式有所不同。孩子有時會反擊並說出傷人的話。大多數父母都盡量不這樣做。

For girls, as you get older, you are no longer fighting over who has the bigger doll or who gets the best donut. You fight over boyfriends and parts in school plays and who got a better grade on the math test. Suddenly your life is filled with competition, jealousy, and mistrust. This can feel really awful, especially when your body is going through all sorts of crazy changes and your hormones are really racing!
對於女孩來說，隨著年齡的增長，你不再為誰擁有更大的娃娃或誰得到最好的甜甜圈而爭吵。你們會為學校戲劇中的男朋友和角色以及誰在數學考試中取得更好的成績而爭吵。突然間，你的生活充滿了競爭、嫉妒和不信任。這感覺真的很糟糕，尤其是當你的身體正在經歷各種瘋狂的變化並且你的荷爾蒙真的在加速時！

So what makes a good friend? She is someone you can trust and communicate with, someone who is honest and cares about your feelings. A true friend can make you feel better, no matter what the situation. She likes you for who you are, and doesn't put on a front. A true friend is a person you can laugh with and cry with. She will always be there for you.
那什麼才是好朋友呢？她是一個你可以信任、可以溝通的人，一個誠實、關心你感受的人。無論情況如何，真正的朋友都可以讓您感覺更好。她喜歡你原本的樣子，不會假裝喜歡你。真正的朋友是個可以陪你笑、陪你哭的人。她將永遠在你身邊。

~ ELIZABETH, 17
~ 伊莉莎白，17 歲

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Imagine yourself eighty years from now, calling a friend on the phone whom you have known your entire life! Sometimes we make that type of connection with a friend, and share many moments of our lives with them.
想像八十年後的你，正在打電話給一個你一輩子都認識的朋友！有時我們會與朋友建立這種聯繫，並與他們分享我們生活中的許多時刻。

Lifelong Friends
終生的朋友

When I was a young girl, I had a very good friend. We were both seven when we met, and now we are ninety-seven years old! And we are still in touch. Lifelong friendships can mean so much.
當我還是個小女孩的時候，我有一個很好的朋友。我們相識時都是七歲，現在已經九十七歲了！我們仍然保持聯繫。終生的友誼意義重大。

A girl really needs to learn how to make friends. It often seems that two friends will have a disagreement and not be able to resolve it and get back together. You need to reach the point where you can talk with each other about the things that bother you and work it all out! Develop the attitude that a person is more important than a disagreement, large or small, and remember that your friend has nice parts that you want to know about, too. You have to have the courage to say you're sorry. Learning how to say that is hard, but a friendship is too important to let a disagreement blow it all apart.
女孩真的需要學習如何交朋友。兩個朋友常常會出現分歧，但無法解決並重歸於好。你們需要達到可以互相討論困擾你們的事情並解決所有問題的程度！培養一種態度，認為一個人比分歧（無論大小）更重要，並記住你的朋友也有你想了解的好部分。你必須有勇氣說對不起。學習如何表達這句話很難，但友誼太重要了，不能讓分歧將一切搞得四分五裂。

~ MARY, 97
〜瑪麗，97

È♡E

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Fitting in with the crowd is something most of us struggle with, whether we are fourteen or forty-nine. In our early teen years, however, where we belong seems to be incredibly important. Cliques and "the cool group" hold a lot of power, and girls often go to great lengths just to be like everyone else.
無論我們是十四歲還是四十九歲，融入人群是我們大多數人都面臨的難題。然而，在我們青少年時期，我們的歸屬似乎非常重要。派系和「酷派」擁有很大的權力，女孩們常常不遺餘力地只是為了和其他人一樣。

Every group of girls and women we met with had the same question...does anyone ever feel like they fit in? There are probably times when you wish you could reject the whole scene and just be yourself. Some of the stories ahead may sound familiar....
我們遇到的每一組女孩和婦女都有同樣的問題……有人覺得自己融入其中嗎？有時您可能希望能夠拒絕整個場景，只做自己。前面的一些故事可能聽起來很熟悉...

Fitting In
融入

Sometimes "fitting in" gets pretty complicated at my school. Rachel decides who the most popular girl is...the one we are all supposed to be like. Who gives Rachel this power? Nobody! She just takes it! This year, Rachel decided that all the girls in my grade needed to be like Julia. Julia didn't really push to be named the Queen of Popularity, but so far she doesn't seem to mind very much. So now we are all supposed to wear the same shade of jeans that Julia wears, cut our hair to her length, wear eye makeup, be good at sports, pretty smart in math, and listen to The Beatles, Hanson, and Jewel. We are all supposed to be interested in boys now, too. In fact, Rachel spends her entire lunch period carefully matching boys in our grade with "appropriate" girls, all written out like a mad scientist in a lab!
有時，「融入」在我的學校變得相當複雜。雷切爾決定誰是最受歡迎的女孩……我們都應該成為這樣的女孩。誰給了雷切爾這種權力？沒有人！她只管接受！今年，雷切爾決定我年級的所有女孩都需要像茱莉亞一樣。朱莉婭並沒有真正推動被任命為人氣女王，但到目前為止她似乎不太介意。所以現在我們都應該穿和茱莉亞一樣顏色的牛仔褲，把頭髮剪成她的長度，化眼妝，擅長運動，數學很聰明，聽披頭四、漢森樂團和朱厄爾樂團的歌。我們現在也應該對男孩感興趣。事實上，雷切爾整個午餐時間都在仔細地為我們年級的男孩和「合適的」女孩匹配，所有這些都像實驗室裡的瘋狂科學家一樣！

Lots of girls actually make attempts at imitating Julia, and some succeed at it. But they get so caught up in it that they don't act real anymore. I wonder if they ever think about who they really are inside. I think I still know the real me, and I'm going to try not to forget her, even though I really want to fit in, too. But for now, I am not Julia, and I'm not the next girl who might move to the top of the popularity chart. I wear jeans that I
事實上，很多女孩都嘗試模仿茱莉亞，有些人成功了。但他們太陷入其中，以至於不再表現得真實。我想知道他們是否想過自己內心到底是誰。我想我仍然了解真實的我，我會盡力不忘記她，儘管我也想融入其中。但就目前而言，我不是茱莉亞，也不是下一個可能登上人氣榜榜首的女孩。我穿牛仔褲

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like, my hair is the way I want it to be, and if I'd rather read a good book at recess than talk about boys or play soccer, that's okay, too.
就像，我的頭髮是我想要的樣子，如果我寧願在課間休息時讀一本好書而不是談論男孩或踢足球，那也沒關係。

~ NICKY, 13, JUST ME
~ 尼基，13 歲，只有我

The Clique
派系

In my day, there was a group of girls in junior high school known as The Clique. This wasn't just a bunch of popular kids who had achieved some kind of vague recognition for being cool. This was an organized club called The Clique. I used to believe they had regular, weekly meetings to discuss their coolness, but now I think that might have been my imagination.
在我那個時代，有一群國中女孩被稱為「小集團」。這不僅僅是一群因酷而獲得某種模糊認可的受歡迎的孩子。這是一個有組織的俱樂部，名為“The Clique”。我曾經相信他們每週都會定期開會來討論他們的酷炫，但現在我認為這可能是我的想像。

The members of The Clique wore a special medallion around their necks. I can still remember exactly what it looked like...a narrow rectangle of wood with a shiny brass lightning bolt on the front. The Clique girls also wore blast jackets, which were made out of lightweight, beige linen fabric, were loose-fitting, had a hood and zipped up the front. When I was honest with myself, which wasn't very often in those days, I thought those jackets were kind of ugly. But somehow, when worn by a member of The Clique, a blast jacket became immediately desirable.
派系成員的脖子上都戴著一個特殊的獎章。我仍然清楚地記得它的樣子……一塊狹窄的長方形木頭，前面有一個閃亮的黃銅閃電。 Clique 女孩還穿著由輕質米色亞麻布料製成的爆炸夾克，寬鬆，有兜帽，前面有拉鍊。當我對自己誠實時（這在當時並不常見），我認為那些夾克有點難看。但不知何故，當 The Clique 的成員穿上時，一件防爆夾克立即變得令人嚮往。

Well, naturally I wanted...needed...a blast jacket more than anything else in the world. I also craved a lightning bolt medallion, but had never seen one in a store. I thought The Clique leaders might award them in some special Clique ceremony. But anyone could buy new clothes, and if I just happened to show up at school one day wearing a blast jacket, surely the other kids would recognize my coolness. I'd immediately be invited to the next Clique meeting. And then, could my lightning bolt medallion be far behind?
嗯，當然，我想要……需要……一件防爆夾克比世界上任何其他東西都重要。我還渴望一枚閃電獎章，但從未在商店裡見過。我認為派系領導人可能會在一些特殊的派系儀式上獎勵他們。但任何人都可以買新衣服，如果有一天我碰巧穿著一件防爆夾克出現在學校，其他孩子肯定會認出我的酷。我會立即被邀請參加下一次派系會議。那麼，我的閃電徽章還會遠嗎？

At home, I began to wage a long campaign to buy a blast jacket. It was similar to my previous campaign when I wanted a mohair sweater. That campaign had been successful, so I figured that nightly whining and crying might work once again. Never mind that the fuzzy, brown mohair sweater had made me look like an adolescent grizzly bear, or that it had itched me to the point of distraction. The blast jacket would be different... it would make me cool.
在家裡，我開始了一場漫長的運動，去買一件防爆外套。這與我之前的競選活動類似，當時我想要一件馬海毛毛衣。那次活動很成功，所以我想每晚的抱怨和哭泣可能會再次發揮作用。別介意那件毛茸茸的棕色馬海毛毛衣讓我看起來像青春期的灰熊，也別介意它讓我心癢癢得心煩意亂。防爆外套會有所不同......它會讓我很酷。

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Unfortunately, my sensible, practical mother put her foot down before my efforts even got off the ground. I managed to drag her as far as the J.C. Penney's store, where she took a good, long look at a blast jacket. "There's nothing to it! You'll freeze to death in this thing!" (We lived in Minnesota at the time, so Mom was making a pretty good point. At least, that's what I think now that I am a Mom myself.) "Mom," I pleaded. "All the other kids have them!" My mother's mouth became a thin line on her face. "It's too expensive," she said. "Now let's go look at the long underwear." That was the end of it. I didn't get my blast jacket, and I never made it into The Clique, either.
不幸的是，在我的努力付諸實踐之前，我明智、務實的母親就放棄了。我設法把她拖到了 JC Penney 商店，在那裡她仔細地看了一眼一件防爆夾克。 “沒什麼！你會被凍死在這東西裡的！” （當時我們住在明尼蘇達，所以媽媽說得很好。至少，我自己也是媽媽，現在是這麼想的。） 「媽媽，」我懇求道。 “其他孩子都有了！”媽媽的嘴在臉上變成了一條細線。 「太貴了，」她說。 “現在我們去看看長內衣吧。”事情就這樣結束了。我沒有得到我的爆炸夾克，我也從未進入過The Clique。

Today my thirteen-year-old daughter is amazed that I had wanted to wear an ugly jacket just because a bunch of dumb kids were wearing them. She says it's a stupid story, and she doesn't get the point of it. She herself isn't stupid enough for that nonsense. Annie picks out clothes that are warm enough for skiing or comfortable enough for softball practice. And playing the trombone. And all the other stuff she does that has nothing to do with being cool.
今天，我十三歲的女兒很驚訝我想穿一件醜陋的夾克，只是因為一群愚蠢的孩子穿著它們。她說這是一個愚蠢的故事，她不明白其中的意義。她自己還沒傻到做出這種蠢事。安妮挑選足夠溫暖的衣服來滑雪或足夠舒適的衣服來練習壘球。並演奏長號。她所做的所有其他事情都與酷無關。

Annie wouldn't wear a blast jacket if you paid her. Or a lightning bolt medallion, either. And that's the best part of the story for her and me!
如果你付錢給安妮，她就不會穿防爆夾克。或者是閃電獎章。對她和我來說，這就是故事中最好的部分！

~ LISA, 47, WRITER
~ 麗莎，47 歲，作家

The Geese
鵝們

I would make a poor goose. "Why are we at this angle and not another?" I'd ask. I'd want to slip out of line, swoop down, and explore the lakes and hills we flew over. I'd get tired of the lines filled with geese, the honking, and the endless flapping of wings. I'd want to be alone, be quiet, have time just to think.
我會做一隻可憐的鵝。 “為什麼我們是這個角度而不是另一個？”我想問一下。我想要脫離隊列，俯衝下來，探索我們飛過的湖泊和山丘。我厭倦了排滿了鵝的隊伍、鳴叫聲和無止盡的扇動翅膀。我想一個人待著，安靜，有時間思考。

We are told to be like everyone else in many areas of our lives...at school, in our jobs, with friends, and with family. We are laughed at if we are different. It is easier to be just like everyone else. We learn to hide our thoughts and dreams. The world is a simpler place if no one steps out of line. Like the geese, we keep heading in the same direction. But we need to question, to look at what we've done, to see if a plan we've made is still
我們被告知在生活的許多方面要像其他人一樣……在學校、在工作中、與朋友和家人相處。如果我們與眾不同，就會被嘲笑。和其他人一樣比較容易。我們學會隱藏我們的想法和夢想。如果沒有人越界，世界就會變得更簡單。我們就像大雁一樣，一直朝著同一個方向前進。但我們需要質疑，看看我們做了什麼，看看我們所製定的計劃是否仍然有效

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a good idea. We don't need more people who force their beliefs on others. They would only make the whole vee of geese fly in a different direction without thinking about where they were going. What we need are people who know right from wrong, and who refuse to do the wrong thing, even if it is what everyone else is doing. We need people who are not afraid to think on their own, and to believe in what they have discovered. This kind of thinking is some of the best fun there is.
好主意。我們不需要更多將自己的信仰強加於人的人。他們只會讓整支大雁朝著不同的方向飛去，而不去思考它們要去哪裡。我們需要的是那些明辨是非、拒絕做錯事的人，即使這是其他人都在做的事。我們需要那些敢於獨立思考並相信自己發現的人。這種思考是最有趣的事情之一。

Don't just be a follower. Think!
不要只做一個追隨者。思考！

Different
不同的

~ SUE, 44
〜蘇，44

I feel different. Different from my friends, and different from the way society wants me to be. Sometimes this is an advantage, yet other times it doesn't feel very good. But it's just how God planned it for me. God wanted me to be different. If we were all the same, then God would have probably picked one person, and everyone would act, look and be exactly like that one, appointed person. But then that person would have all the power, and might become a little greedy.
我感覺不同了。與我的朋友不同，也與社會希望我成為的樣子不同。有時這是一個優勢，但有時卻感覺不太好。但這正是上帝為我所計劃的。上帝希望我與眾不同。如果我們都是一樣的，那麼上帝可能會選擇一個人，每個人的行為、外表和行為都會像那個被指定的人一樣。但那樣的話，那個人就擁有了所有的權力，而且可能會變得有些貪婪。

Some of the kids in my school are trying hard to look exactly like everyone else. They wear the same clothes, talk the same way, and end up looking like dumb little clones. But no matter how hard they try, they can't look alike. Some girls are more developed than others, and their body shapes are really different. I don't even have much of a chest yet, but both of my best friends wear bras. We don't look the same at all!
我學校的一些孩子努力讓自己看起來和其他人一模一樣。他們穿著同樣的衣服，用同樣的方式說話，最後看起來就像愚蠢的小克隆人。但無論他們如何努力，他們都長得不太像。有些女孩子發育比較好，體型也確實不一樣。我還沒有多大的胸部，但我最好的朋友都穿著胸罩。我們看起來根本不一樣！

I think we were all meant to be different, and someday we'll be glad for this. That's what God had in mind. Trying so hard to be just like everyone else won't work. Be yourself and just have fun with who you are!
我認為我們都注定要與眾不同，有一天我們會為此感到高興。這就是上帝的想法。努力與其他人一樣是行不通的。做自己，享受自己的樂趣！

~ CHELSEA, 13, PROUD OF WHO I AM
~ 切爾西，13 歲，為我的身份感到自豪

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People sometimes try to change us, hoping to transform us into the type of friend they need or want instead of just accepting us as we are. Here are some things you might say if there is a friend in your life trying to do this....
人們有時會試圖改變我們，希望將我們變成他們需要或想要的朋友類型，而不是只接受我們原本的樣子。如果您生活中有朋友試圖這樣做，您可能會說以下一些話...

I wish you would accept me for who I am.
我希望你能接受我原本的樣子。

I wish you would lend me a helping hand.
我希望你能向我伸出援手。

I wish you would respect me, my color, my background
我希望你尊重我、我的膚色、我的背景

I wish you would stop living like a merry-go-round,
我希望你不要像旋轉木馬一樣生活

And keep your feet on solid ground.
並保持腳踏實地。

I wish you would accept yourself.
我希望你能接受自己。

I wish you would just be you and only you.
我希望你只是你，而且只是你。

I wish you would try to understand me for who I am.
我希望你能試著理解我是誰。

-Tiara, 14, future doctor
-Tiara，14 歲，未來的醫生

When we think of peer pressure, what usually comes to mind is drinking, smoking, using drugs, or taking other risks. Peer pressure requires a decision...should I do what others want me to do, or take a different type of risk and do what I think I should do?
當我們想到同儕壓力時，通常想到的是酗酒、抽菸、吸毒或承擔其他風險。同儕壓力需要做出決定……我應該做別人希望我做的事，還是冒不同類型的風險，做我認為應該做的事？

Dark Corners
黑暗角落

It was early autumn, and sixth grade had just begun. The leaves were beginning to turn brilliant colors, and changes were beginning to take place within me, too. For so long I had wondered what it would be like to be a middle school student, and now that time was here. To add to my excitement, I had been invited to a party at the home of one of the "coolest" kids in my small town.
時值初秋，六年級才剛開始。樹葉開始變成絢麗的顏色，我的內心也開始改變。很長一段時間以來，我一直在想成為中學生會是什麼樣子，現在這個時刻到了。更讓我興奮的是，我被邀請參加小鎮上一個「最酷」孩子家裡的聚會。

I arrived at Barb's party to join a crowd of sixth and seventh graders gathering in the garage behind her house. Music was playing, and kids
我到達巴布的聚會，加入了聚集在她家後面車庫裡的六年級和七年級學生的行列。音樂響起，孩子們

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were dancing and singing to the sounds of "Sugar Sugar," a song by a popular group called The Archies. A metal tub holding cans of soda was in one corner, and all of the tables were piled high with bags of chips and plates of brownies. Off in a dark corner of the garage, several kids were drinking beer that one boy had brought from home. I wondered how they would be acting later in the evening, never having been to a kids' party where drinking was going on.
他們隨著「Sugar Sugar」的聲音唱歌跳舞，這是一首流行樂團 The Archies 的歌曲。角落放著一個裝著汽水罐的金屬桶，所有的桌子上都堆滿了一袋袋薯片和幾盤布朗尼蛋糕。在車庫的一個黑暗角落裡，幾個孩子正在喝一個男孩從家裡帶來的啤酒。我想知道他們在晚上晚些時候會表現如何，因為他們從來沒有參加過喝酒的兒童聚會。

I couldn't believe that I was finally part of the "in crowd"! I remember looking around at the other kids who were there, some of whom had already spent a great deal of time in the principal's office. I carefully checked out the clothes they were wearing, envying the girls with tight bell-bottom jeans.
我簡直不敢相信我終於成為「人群」中的一員了！我記得環顧四周的其他孩子，其中一些孩子已經在校長辦公室待了很長時間。我仔細查看她們穿的衣服，羨慕那些穿著緊身喇叭牛仔褲的女孩。

Suddenly in the backyard, voices were getting louder and louder, and someone was beginning to yell and swear. As the crowd around the incident grew, I decided to go check it out. After all, I had been invited to be a part of this group, and I had better prove to them that I was worthy of the invitation! What I witnessed soon changed all that, however. A friend's older brother, Mike, had arrived, much to Barb's dismay. When Mike wouldn't leave as quickly as Barb wanted him to, she struck him on his back with a hammer! I was in shock! I began to imagine what other situations might develop as the evening wore on. I knew that I did not want to wait around to find out, and quietly slipped away into Barb's house to phone my mother for a ride home. I waited inside, scared to return to the backyard scene, yet worried for Mike. I was relieved to later see him and some of his friends walking home. Mike was not seriously injured.
突然，後院的聲音越來越大，有人開始破口大罵。隨著事件周圍的人群越來越多，我決定去看看。畢竟，我被邀請加入這個團體，我最好向他們證明我是值得被邀請的！然而，我所目睹的一切很快就改變了這一切。朋友的哥哥麥克來了，這讓巴布非常沮喪。當麥克沒有像巴布希望的那樣快離開時，她用錘子敲了他的背！我很震驚！我開始想像隨著夜晚的流逝，可能會出現什麼其他情況。我知道我不想等待答案，於是悄悄溜進巴伯的家，打電話給我母親，要她搭車回家。我在裡面等著，害怕回到後院的場景，但又擔心麥克。後來看到他和他的一些朋友步行回家，我鬆了一口氣。麥克沒有受重傷。

I suppose I needed to experience first-hand what it felt like to be part of a different crowd. I am so glad to have made the choice to remain with my true friends. We may not have led exciting teenage lives, but we had fun just the same. The ironic thing about Barb is that she continues to get herself into troublesome situations to this day. I wonder how her adult years would have been if she had made some other choices about friendships back in sixth grade....
我想我需要親身體驗成為不同人群的一員的感覺。我很高興做出了與我真正的朋友在一起的選擇。我們可能沒有過令人興奮的青少年生活，但我們仍然過得很開心。諷刺的是，巴布至今仍不斷陷入困境。我想知道，如果她在六年級時就對友誼做出了其他選擇，她的成年生活將會如何…

~ DEB, 39, STILL IN TOUCH WITH SIXTH-GRADE FRIENDS
~ DEB，39 歲，仍然與六年級的朋友保持聯繫

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Summer in Reno
裡諾的夏天

The summer after I graduated from high school, I got a job as a waitress in Reno, Nevada. There I met a woman named Ty. She had come to Reno from a small town, just like me. We were both transplanted to the bustle and the glitter, to the "darker side” of life. We were eager to be out on our own for the first time, and shared an apartment. This was the summer I "grew up."
高中畢業後的那個夏天，我在內華達州里諾市找到了一份女服務生的工作。在那裡我遇到了一個名叫泰的女人。她和我一樣，從一個小鎮來到裡諾。我們都被移植到喧囂和光鮮亮麗的環境中，被移植到生活的「陰暗面」。 我們渴望第一次獨自出去，並合住一間公寓。

Ty was far more experienced with life than I was. This proved true on the night she invited some friends to our apartment for a party. There was dancing and drinking, and this was my first experience with alcohol. Everyone teased me about being an eighteen-year-old who had never tried drinking before. They kept saying that everyone did it, and not wanting to look odd, I tried some beer and a shot of whiskey. I remember nothing after that except waking up to the worst headache in the world.
泰對生活的經驗比我豐富得多。她邀請一些朋友到我們公寓參加聚會的那天晚上證明了這一點。有跳舞，有喝酒，這是我第一次喝酒。每個人都嘲笑我是一個十八歲的年輕人，以前從未嘗試過喝酒。他們一直說每個人都這樣做，為了不想顯得奇怪，我嘗試了一些啤酒和一杯威士忌。從那時起我什麼都不記得了，除了醒來時感覺到全世界最嚴重的頭痛。

I decided that I didn't like being out of control, and drinking did that to me. Even if anyone teased me, I was not going to drink again. From then on at parties, I sometimes pretended to drink, but would later go to the bathroom and pour the drinks down the drain. Because most of my friends would drink until they were drunk, no one ever knew that I had tricked them. I really did grow up that summer. I began to learn to trust my own instincts.
我決定我不喜歡失控，而喝酒讓我做到了這一點。即使有人取笑我，我也不會再喝酒了。從那時起，在派對上，我有時會假裝喝酒，但後來會去洗手間把飲料倒進下水道。因為我大多數的朋友都會喝酒直到喝醉，所以沒有人知道我欺騙了他們。那年夏天我真的長大了。我開始學會相信自己的直覺。

~ DEBORAH, 48, MOTHER OF FIVE
~ 黛博拉，48 歲，五個孩子的母親

There are times when kids do cruel things! To feel like we belong, we sometimes go to great lengths to exclude others. Secret clubs, passing notes, and gossiping on the phone are all ways of making others feel left out.
孩子們也有做出殘忍事的時候！為了獲得歸屬感，我們有時會不遺餘力地排斥他人。秘密俱樂部、傳遞紙條和在電話裡八卦都是讓別人感到被忽視的方式。

In the Club
在俱樂部裡

When I was eleven, I spent a lot of time with three friends. They came up with the idea of forming a club. We were all included in the club, but other members were to be selected by us. Some kids would be accepted,
當我十一歲的時候，我花了很多時間和三個朋友在一起。他們萌生了組成俱樂部的想法。我們都加入了俱樂部，但其他成員是由我們挑選的。有些孩子會被接受，

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while some would not. I told Mom about the club, and she told me that she did not want me to be a part of something that excluded others. When I saw my friends in school the next day, I told them the news.
而有些則不會。我告訴媽媽關於俱樂部的事，她告訴我，她不想讓我成為排斥他人的組織的一部分。第二天我在學校見到朋友時，我把這個消息告訴了他們。

Later that day, a piece of notebook paper was being passed around the classroom. When it finally reached my desk, I was horrified to read what it said. "If you hate Susie, write your name down on this paper." Everyone in the class had written his or her name down! I don't remember much between that moment and when I got home and dissolved into tears. ] told Mom about it, and she called the mothers of these three friends, explaining what had happened and how much it had hurt me. (Mom usually just told me to "grin and bear it" when things like this
那天晚些時候，一張筆記本紙在教室裡傳閱。當它最終到達我的辦公桌時，我讀到上面的內容時感到震驚。 “如果你討厭蘇西，就把你的名字寫在這張紙上。”班上的每個人都寫下了自己的名字！從那一刻到我回到家淚流滿面，我已經不記得太多了。 ] 把這件事告訴了媽媽，她給這三個朋友的母親打電話，解釋了發生的事情以及這對我的傷害有多大。 （當遇到這樣的事情時，媽媽通常只是告訴我“微笑並忍受”

happened!) It was so hard to go to school the next day and face everyone! It quickly became clear that the whole class didn't really hate me, though. They felt they had to add their names to the list because these girls wanted them to. I soon discovered that I had many friends... not just those three girls.
發生了！ ）第二天去學校面對大家真是太難了！不過，很快我就發現全班同學並不是真的討厭我。他們覺得必須將自己的名字加入名單中，因為這些女孩希望他們這樣做。我很快就發現我有很多朋友……不只是那三個女孩。

From this incident I learned that membership in a club is not as important as loyalty or trust when it comes to friends. You can survive rejection and still feel whole. And Moms are often there for you, even though you may not always agree with them!
從這次事件中我了解到，對於朋友來說，俱樂部的會員資格並不像忠誠或信任那麼重要。你可以經得起拒絕，而且仍然感覺完整。媽媽們常常會在你身邊，儘管你可能不會總是同意她們的觀點！

~ SUSIE, MOTHER OF THREE
~ 蘇西，三個孩子的母親

We want to belong; we want to be "normal." It hurts to feel so different from the rest, even though others usually appreciate those things that make us each unique. This woman shares a different perspective on cliques, reminding us that it is okay to want to be a part of a group.
我們想要歸屬感；我們想要變得「正常」。感覺自己與其他人如此不同是很痛苦的，儘管其他人通常很欣賞我們每個人的獨特之處。這位女士對拉幫結派有著不同的看法，提醒我們想成為一個群體的一部分是可以的。

Belonging
歸屬感

Is there anything positive to say about being in a tight group of friends? After all, isn't that what a clique is? The very word sends shivers down most people's spines. Immediately, scenes of being left out fill the mind
和一群親密的朋友在一起有什麼正面的事情可以說嗎？畢竟，這不就是一個派係嗎？這個詞本身就讓大多數人感到背脊發涼。腦海裡立刻浮現出被冷落的情景

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and poke at the heart. But I believe that at age thirteen, belonging is as important as eating, sleeping, and breathing!
並戳心。但我相信，在十三歲的時候，歸屬感和吃飯、睡覺、呼吸一樣重要！

A grouping, a gang, a club, a commune. Sisterhood, sorority, secret society. A team, a circle, the in-group, a bunch. Squad, chapter, insider, one of us. We yearn to know our place, to be there, and to know that we fit in somehow, with somebody. It won't always be this way, as soon the quest turns to striving to be different, unique, one of a kind.
一個團體、一個幫派、一個俱樂部、一個公社。姊妹會、聯誼會、秘密社團。一個團隊，一個圈子，內部團體，一群人。小隊、分會、內部人士，我們中的一員。我們渴望知道自己的位置，身處其中，並知道我們能以某種方式融入某人。一旦追求變得不同、獨特、獨一無二，事情就不會總是這樣了。

So let's not forget the inner urge to be a part of the big picture. Belonging is okay, and if you think there is no room for your incredible self in an existing gaggle of girls, start your own!
因此，我們不要忘記成為大局的一部分的內在衝動。歸屬感是可以的，如果你認為現有的一群女孩中沒有容身之地，那就開始你自己的吧！

~ LENA, 49, CIVIL ENGINEER
~ LENA，49 歲，土木工程師

Bridge Kids
橋樑兒童

I was different from other kids. I didn't want to feel different, but there was nothing I could do about it. My Dad died when I was baby, and in the 1940s, there were very few children with no father and a working mother. I know now that I probably felt more different than I appeared to others, but for me, the differences were real!
我與其他孩子不同。我不想感覺與眾不同，但我無能為力。我的父親在我還是個嬰兒的時候就去世了，在 20 世紀 40 年代，很少有孩子沒有父親，母親又在職。我現在知道，我的感覺可能與其他人看到的不同，但對我來說，差異是真實的！

I had many friends, but I still wasn't like all the other kids. Being "different" became "not as good as," so I worked hard to be as good as everyone else. But I never felt like I belonged anywhere. Mom told me that I was learning something very important through all this, but I still envied all those kids who seemed to fit in.
我有很多朋友，但我仍然不像其他孩子。 “與眾不同”變成了“不如”，所以我努力變得和其他人一樣好。但我從來沒有覺得自己屬於任何地方。媽媽告訴我，我透過這一切學到了一些非常重要的東西，但我仍然羨慕那些似乎融入其中的孩子。

The real breakthrough came for me when I was in college, studying to become a teacher. My professor talked about ways to bring about change in the classroom and encourage growth in students. He said to look for the kids who did not belong to any particular group, but who had a variety of friends. He called these students "bridge kids," adding that there weren't many of them, but that they were the key people in the classroom who made things happen.
真正的突破是在我上大學時，學習成為一名教師。我的教授談到如何在課堂上帶來改變並鼓勵學生成長。他說要尋找那些不屬於任何特定群體但有各種朋友的孩子。他稱這些學生為“橋樑孩子”，並補充說，他們的人數不多，但他們是課堂上讓事情發生的關鍵人物。

As I heard his words, tears began to stream down my cheeks. I had been a "bridge kid"! The weight of being different all those years finally fell away from me.
當我聽到他的話時，淚水開始從我的臉頰流下來。我曾經是個「橋孩子」！這些年來與眾不同的負擔終於從我身上消失了。

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Is it all right to be different? You bet it is! Celebrate your differences and those in others, too. You just might be one of those "bridge kids" who makes things happen!
與眾不同就可以了嗎？你打賭是的！慶祝你和他人的差異。您可能就是那些讓事情發生的“橋樑孩子”之一！

~ LINDA, 55, COUNSELOR IN SPECIAL EDUCATION
~ 琳達，55 歲，特殊教育輔導員

Losing a friend is never easy, but this can happen as people change and grow in different ways. Sometimes a friendship fades out completely, but it can also rekindle itself like a fire that still has reasons to glow....
失去朋友從來都不是一件容易的事，但隨著人們以不同的方式改變和成長，這種情況就會發生。有時友誼會完全消失，但它也可以像火焰一樣重新點燃，仍然有理由發光...

School Bus Blues
校車藍調

I walked by her on the school bus, glanced at her quickly, then kept walking down the narrow aisle. My nose was in the air; a slightly pained look was in my eyes. I tried to hide my true feelings and not allow my tears to flow, but while my exterior seemed calm, inside me there was a tempest at its peak. How could she?
我在校車上從她身邊走過，快速地看了她一眼，然後沿著狹窄的走道繼續走。我的鼻子懸在空中；我的眼神露出一絲痛苦的神情。我努力掩飾自己的真實感受，不讓眼淚流出來，但外表看似平靜，內心卻掀起了波濤洶湧的風暴。她怎麼可以？

We had spent countless hours confiding in each other. All of the deep, dark secrets that I had shared with her came flooding back to me. But suddenly she had decided that we weren't best friends anymore. My anger faded to fear, and I wondered if she would tell anyone those secrets. She wouldn't, would she? But she has no reason not to. She knows that I have no one else to tell her secrets to, and even if I did, no one would ever believe me.
我們花了無數個小時互相傾訴。我與她分享的所有深奧、黑暗的秘密都湧入我的腦海。但突然她決定我們不再是最好的朋友了。我的憤怒漸漸變成了恐懼，我想知道她是否會告訴任何人這些秘密。她不會，是嗎？但她沒有理由不這麼做。她知道我沒有其他人可以告訴她秘密，即使我告訴了，也沒有人會相信我。

"Nice way to start the day!," I say to myself, sarcastically. I open my notebook to begin my unfinished homework. "At least I'm learning a lot about friendships." It's not always easy, learning these hard lessons. The bus slowly turns into the school driveway, and I wonder if she and I will ever be friends again....
「美好的一天開始了！」我諷刺地對自己說。我打開筆記本開始我未完成的作業。 “至少我學到了很多關於友誼的知識。”學習這些慘痛的教訓並不總是那麼容易。公車慢慢地駛入學校車道，我想知道我和她是否還能再次成為朋友…

~ ANONYMOUS, 14
~ 匿名，14 歲

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Over and over again, girls wanted to talk about what happens in their school lunchrooms! The "fitting-in drama" is performed there every day. Who sits at which table; who is in charge of the "pecking order" of popularity; who feels rejected and sits alone at a table far from the crowd. Here are some ideas from middle school girls who are trying hard to make changes in their lunchroom scene.
一次又一次，女孩們想談論學校食堂裡發生的事情！那裡每天都會上演「合體戲劇」。誰坐在哪張桌子；誰負責人氣的「排序」？感到被拒絕並獨自坐在遠離人群的桌子旁。以下是一些中學生的想法，她們正在努力改變午餐室的場景。

On finding friends in the lunchroom....
在餐廳裡尋找朋友...

Look for someone who appears to be as insecure as you are. She may become your best "lunch bud"!
尋找一個和你一樣缺乏安全感的人。她可能會成為你最好的“午餐花蕾”！

Put blinders on to those cool cliques and go for the "regular" people.
對那些很酷的派系蒙上眼睛，去找「普通」人。

Find a friend who will table hop with you. The two of you can eat at a different table every day, or in a favorite teacher's room with a few friends.
找一個願意和你一起跳桌的朋友。你們兩個可以每天在不同的桌子上吃飯，或是和幾個朋友在最喜歡的老師的房間裡吃飯。

Invite kids who are eating alone to join you. You may just make a new friend!
邀請獨自吃飯的孩子加入你。您可能會結交一個新朋友！

Turn your lunch table into a crazy quilt! Eat with kids from all different groups, and you will have a lot of fun.
把你的午餐桌變成瘋狂的被子！和來自不同群體的孩子一起吃飯，你會玩得很開心。

Don't be afraid to look for a friend. There is someone out there just like you, in the same situation, looking for a friend, too!
不要害怕尋找朋友。有人跟你一樣，也有同樣的情況，正在尋找朋友！

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Finding friends and fitting in is a lifelong task. Our situations change...new school, new place to live, new job. We change, and often need something different in our friendships. Sometimes we are lucky enough to have a friendship that will survive major changes in lifestyles and circumstances.
尋找朋友並融入其中是一項終生的任務。我們的情況改變了……新學校、新居住地、新工作。我們會改變，常常需要我們的友誼中有一些不同的東西。有時，我們很幸運，擁有一段友誼，能夠在生活方式和環境發生重大變化後繼續存在。

New Kid on the Block
街區新來的孩子

I just moved into the neighborhood from out of state. Some of the kids at school tell me that I have a "funny accent," and I know I'm pretty shy. How will I ever make new friends?
我剛從州外搬到附近。學校裡的一些孩子告訴我，我有“有趣的口音”，而且我知道我很害羞。我將如何結交新朋友？

I've met a few kids who are into sports. Some are into bike riding and in-line skating. Some are into Teen magazine, makeup, and boys. Others are into CDs, and know all the words to all the songs of the popular bands. I want to belong to one group, and came close to asking my parents to buy me the clothes and things that that group is into. But deep inside, I know that this isn't what I want. That crowd seems rowdy, confused, and more into finding trouble than I am. So I'm not going to ask my parents for those things to help me fit in, and I think it's probably the right decision.
我遇過一些熱愛運動的孩子。有些人喜歡騎自行車和直排輪。有些人喜歡青少年雜誌、化妝品和男孩。其他人則喜歡 CD，並且知道流行樂隊所有歌曲的所有歌詞。我想屬於一個群體，差點就要求我的父母買那個群體喜歡的衣服和東西給我。但內心深處，我知道這不是我想要的。那群人看起來很吵鬧、很困惑，而且比我更愛找麻煩。所以我不會向父母要求這些東西來幫助我融入，我認為這可能是正確的決定。

I remember telling my friend Laura when she was going to move away that it was better to walk alone than to get involved with a group that doesn't fit with the "real you." She moved, and found some true friends. Boy, what I would give to fit right in, right now.
我記得當我的朋友勞拉要搬走時，我告訴她，獨自走路比加入一個不適合「真實的你」的群體要好。她搬家了，並找到了一些真正的朋友。男孩，我現在願意付出什麼來適應。

~ DIANNE, 15
~ 黛安，15 歲

Statistics
統計數據

It's twilight in Brooklyn. A cool breeze passes over 85th Street, and I can't decide which is worse....the August humidity or the teasing, cool air. As I stand outside Baskin-Robbins, my eyes take in the usual Saturday night sights. Loud white cars with black tinted windows speed by, honking at no one in particular. To my right, my friend Jessica nudges me as we wait for our friends. They are upstairs across the street saying good night to
布魯克林已是黃昏。一陣涼爽的微風吹過 85 街，我無法決定哪一個更糟……八月的濕度和令人愉悅的涼爽空氣。當我站在巴斯金羅賓斯外面時，我的眼睛看到了周六晚上常見的景色。帶有黑色車窗、聲音洪亮的白色汽車飛馳而過，沒有對任何人按喇叭。在我右邊，當我們等待朋友時，我的朋友潔西卡用手肘輕輕推了我一下。他們在街對面的樓上向他們道晚安

their families. Three girls with babies already. Jessica and I stare as our friends run down the stairs, slamming the heavy wooden door behind them.
他們的家人。三個女孩已經有了孩子。潔西卡和我盯著我們的朋友跑下樓梯，關上身後沉重的木門。

Another breeze slips by, lifting Tanya's hair. Her daughter just turned two. Who decided that Jessica and I would end up in college, and they would all be married with children by age nineteen? I know that Jessica is thinking the same thing.
又一陣微風吹過，掀起塔妮亞的頭髮。她的女兒剛滿兩歲。誰決定傑西卡和我最終會進入大學，並且他們都會在十九歲時結婚生子？我知道傑西卡也有同樣的想法。

Katie became a certified beautician after she dropped out of high school. I watch her long, red fingernails wave in the air as she excitedly talks to the others. We've all known each other since fourth grade, and it's still comfortable when we're together. But I can tell we're all thinking about how different our lives are now.
凱蒂高中輟學後成為一名經過認證的美容師。當她興奮地與其他人交談時，我看到她長長的紅色指甲在空中飄揚。我們從四年級就認識了，我們在一起還是很舒服。但我可以看出我們都在思考我們現在的生活有多麼不同。

Lana's son Joey will be two in the fall. Lana will be twenty next month. Jess grabs my arm and throws her head back. Both are indications to leave. Instead I hold back, searching my friends' faces. Our lives at college are so different from this. We link arms and run across the street…all of us, still together, still friends.
拉娜的兒子喬伊今年秋天就兩歲了。拉娜下個月就二十歲了。傑西抓住我的手臂，把頭往後仰去。兩者都是離開的跡象。相反，我忍住了，審視著朋友的臉。我們的大學生活與此截然不同。我們挽著手，跑過馬路……我們所有人，仍然在一起，仍然是朋友。

OLIVIA, 21, DARK AND LOVELY
奧利維亞，21 歲，深色可愛

The Real You
真實的你

I think that it's important to be in contact with other girls and women. It's such a relief to talk with my friends about any problem I'm having. They understand, because they're usually going through the same problems, too!
我認為與其他女孩和婦女接觸很重要。與我的朋友談論我遇到的任何問題真是一種解脫。他們理解，因為他們通常也會遇到同樣的問題！

It's also important to be yourself. Believe in yourself, and be glad that you are who you are. Friends can help you see the real you, at a time when life can be so confusing.
做自己也很重要。相信自己，並為你就是你自己而感到高興。在生活如此混亂的時候，朋友可以幫助你看到真實的自己。

~ ZOE, 14
〜佐伊，14

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Come Close,
靠近吧，

Go Away
離開

The Drama of Mother-Daughter Relationships
母女關係的戲劇

5

W hen your life first began, you were totally dependent on your mom. You floated safely inside her. There was no way you could survive alone. She gave you life, nourished you, and then gave birth to you. But from that day on, the drama of your relationship with your mother began. This chapter gives us a glimpse of the multicolored roles that we take on as mothers and daughters throughout our lives.
當你的生活剛開始時，你完全依賴你的媽媽。你安全地漂浮在她體內。你不可能獨自生存。她給了你生命，滋養了你，然後生下了你。但從那天起，你和母親之間的戲劇性關係就開始了。本章讓我們一睹我們作為母親和女兒一生所扮演的多彩角色。

Our biological mothers and other women who mother us as young children nurture, protect, and teach us. They help us become who we are. But growing up means slowly moving from dependence to independence. Separation can be confusing, and can feel like an emotional roller coaster for both moms and daughters. The "come close, go away" messages that we send each other are a frustrating but natural part of growing up. Here are some writings that describe how young women feel about their relationships with their moms.
我們的親生母親和其他在我們年幼時養育我們的女性養育、保護和教導我們。他們幫助我們成為我們自己。但成長意味著慢慢從依賴走向獨立。分離可能會令人困惑，對於媽媽和女兒來說，感覺就像坐過山車一樣。我們互相發送的「靠近，走開」的訊息是成長過程中令人沮喪但又自然的一部分。以下是一些描述年輕女性對與母親的關係的感受的文章。

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Mommy?
媽媽？

Mommy? I love you because you love me and care for me and you are my safety...
媽媽？我愛你，因為你愛我，關心我，你是我的安全感...

Mommy? I'm older now and I have friends and fun that does not involve you, but still you are my safety...
媽媽？我現在長大了，我有朋友和樂趣，但你仍然是我的安全...

Mommy? Now I am older still, and I stay out late and don't even want safety, so go away and leave me alone. I'm too old for mommies... Mommy? My friends dropped me, so now I want you to help me and
媽媽？現在我年紀又大了，在外面待到很晚，連安全都不想了，你走吧，別管我了。我對媽媽來說太老了…媽媽？我的朋友們拋棄了我，所以現在我希望你能幫助我

love me again like when I was little, because I feel like nothing... Mommy? I have new friends, so let go of me again. I have better things to do...
再次像小時候一樣愛我，因為我覺得自己一無所有……媽媽？我有新朋友了，所以再次放開我吧。我還有更重要的事情要做...

Mommy? Now there are parties and drugs and danger, but you can't help me because I am too cool to talk to my mommy...
媽媽？現在有派對、毒品和危險，但你幫不了我，因為我太酷了，無法跟我媽媽說話…

Mommy? My boyfriend dumped me and I need a hug, but not in front of the window, okay?...
媽媽？我男友甩了我，我需要一個擁抱，但不是在窗前，好嗎？

Mommy? Yesterday I found myself talking to you and it was almost a little fun, so maybe today we can go somewhere. Now we are laughing and telling stories and maybe my mommy isn't as dumb as she is supposed to be. Now I think of you as my friend. How could I not have realized that until now? I think I'm too young not to have a mommy. I love you, mommy.
媽媽？昨天我發現自己和你聊天，這幾乎有點有趣，所以也許今天我們可以去某個地方。現在我們一邊笑著一邊講故事，也許我媽媽並不像她想像的那麼愚蠢。現在我把你當作我的朋友。我怎麼到現在才意識到這一點？我想我太年輕了，不能沒有媽媽。我愛你，媽媽。

~JESSICA, 14
~傑西卡，14 歲

The Beginning of Letting Go
放手的開始

Some days I look at my mom and I am so proud of her. My mom takes care of herself. She exercises and eats well and is a good role model for me. I know that she had a tough childhood, and she has worked hard at being a strong, independent woman. I really respect her.
有時我看著我的媽媽，我為她感到驕傲。我媽媽會照顧自己。她運動和飲食都很好，是我的好榜樣。我知道她的童年很艱難，但她努力成為一個堅強、獨立的女性。我真的很尊重她。

It is weird, though. Even though I feel pretty close to my mom, lately there have been things that I just don't feel comfortable talking to her about. It's not that she's not willing to talk about boys or sex or decisions that I have to make about friends and stuff. She is. She's a good listener.
但這很奇怪。儘管我覺得我和媽媽很親近，但最近有些事情我還是不願意跟她談。這並不是說她不願意談論男孩、性或我必須做出的關於朋友之類的決定。她是。她是一個很好的傾聽者。

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Some of my friends even talk to her about personal things. I just don't feel like talking to her. Sometimes I think it hurts her feelings, and I feel a little guilty.
我的一些朋友甚至和她談論私人事情。我只是不想跟她說話。有時我覺得這傷害了她的感情，我就會感到有點內疚。

Is this just the beginning of letting go? I hope she can understand. ~ ANONYMOUS, 15
這只是放手的開始嗎？我希望她能理解。 ~ 匿名，15 歲

Love Hate
愛恨情仇

I remember hating her! Absolutely hating her! I thought that she was the worst person in the world, yet I was forced to live with her. I hated the she spoke to me, and even the way she looked at me! way
我記得我很討厭她！絕對討厭她！我以為她是世界上最壞的人，卻又被迫和她住在一起。我討厭她對我說話，甚至她看我的方式！方式

One morning while we were eating breakfast, these horrible feelings of hatred arose in me because of the noises she was making while she was chewing her cereal. Suddenly and sharply I looked up at her and yelled, "Stop making those noises!" She looked at me as if I had slapped her. I felt so bad that I left the table. I hated her even more for making me feel bad. Looking back, I wonder how I could have had such feelings of hatred
有一天早上，當我們吃早餐時，由於她咀嚼麥片時發出的聲音，我心中升起了可怕的仇恨感。突然，我猛地抬頭看著她，喊道：“別再發出那些聲音了！”她看著我，好像我打了她一巴掌。我感覺很糟糕，於是離開了桌子。我更恨她讓我感覺不好。回想起來，我不知道我怎麼會有這樣的仇恨情緒

towards the very person who gave me my life. It brings tears to my eyes to realize the way that I felt about my mother back then. Now she is one of my greatest friends and role models. Time sure changes things....
向那個給我生命的人。當我意識到當時我對母親的感受時，我不禁熱淚盈眶。現在她是我最好的朋友和榜樣之一。時間確實會改變一切......

~JULIE, 27
〜朱莉，27 歲

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NEVER A MOTHERLESS CHILD
永遠不是沒有母親的孩子

You stand by my side,
你站在我身邊，

You watch me grow.
你看著我成長。

I love you...that you
我愛你...你

should know.
應該知道。

You helped me realize the wrong,
你幫我認清了錯誤

But I didn't listen and found out the hard way.
但我沒有聽，後來才發現。

It's a fact,
這是事實，

You make a point with what you say.
你說的有道理。

Mom, you are like a lot of others
媽媽，你和很多人一樣

But nothing like the careless mothers.
但沒有什麼比那些粗心的母親更重要的了。

I wish we could find a place where we could both unwind.
我希望我們能找到一個我們都可以放鬆的地方。

It's lost time we need to find.
我們需要尋找失去的時間。

I want to be able to talk in a reasonable tone,
我希望能夠用合理的語氣說話

To listen to each other, so we're not alone.
互相傾聽，這樣我們就不再孤單。

I've cried on your shoulder and caused you pain.
我曾經靠在你的肩膀上哭泣，讓你痛苦。

Sometimes I wonder if we are both insane.
有時候我想我們是不是都瘋了。

Please hear me.
請聽我說。

It's taking time.
這需要時間。

But some day we will be able to understand each other,
但總有一天我們能夠互相理解

I hope to be able to get along with you, Mother.
媽媽，我希望能和您和睦相處。

It is a relationship.
這是一種關係。

A two-way street.
一條雙向街道。

But we can walk alone
但我們可以獨自前行

On our own two feet.
靠我們自己的兩隻腳。

~Sarah, 16, teenage mom
~莎拉，16 歲，十幾歲的媽媽

94 94

For
為了

I went for a walk with my dog, Garnet, this morning. The ground is covered with five inches of wet snow. It is cloudy, but the air is warm. This feels strange for December; a menthol kind of feeling...hot and cold at the same time. A thick fog has settled where the warm air meets the cold snow. The mist swirls over the snow, pushed around by a gentle breeze that is blowing off the lake.
今天早上我和我的狗 Garnet 一起去散步。地面覆蓋著五吋厚的濕雪。雖然是陰天，但空氣很溫暖。這對於 12 月來說感覺很奇怪；一種薄荷醇的感覺……同時又熱又冷。在溫暖的空氣與寒冷的雪相遇的地方，濃霧已經消散。薄霧在雪地上盤旋，被從湖邊吹來的微風所推動。

This strange winter scene is like my mom and me these days. She is the wet, heavy snow that has made its journey down to earth. Now it lies still and heavy on the ground. I am the warm December air, a little out of place, and very different from the snow. Together we create a foggy confusion that makes it hard for us to understand each other. She doesn't see me, and I can barely see her through this fog. But I know she's there.
這陌生的冬天景象就像我和媽媽這幾天一樣。她是降落在大地上的濕漉漉的大雪。現在它一動不動地沉甸甸地躺在地上。我是十二月溫暖的空氣，有點格格不入，與雪截然不同。我們一起創造了一種模糊的混亂，使我們很難相互理解。她沒有看到我，而我透過這片霧幾乎看不見她。但我知道她就在那裡。

When I step back from all of this, it is actually beautiful, in an eerie sort of way. The mist is magical and unpredictable. It is a natural result of the warm air and the cold snow coming together. Maybe the confusion between my mom and me is natural, too. Maybe if we keep trying to reach out to each other, we can connect in all of this fog.
當我從這一切中退後一步時，它實際上是美麗的，以一種怪異的方式。霧是神奇的，不可預測的。這是暖空氣和冷雪相遇的自然結果。也許我和媽媽之間的困惑也是很自然的。也許如果我們繼續努力互相聯繫，我們就能在這片迷霧中保持聯繫。

- ANONYMOUS, 16
- 匿名，16 歲

The love that a mother has for a child is deep and primitive, full of protective instincts. But as little girls grow into young women, mothers have to learn how to express their love in new ways. As Moms, we learn to love by letting go, but try to be close when our daughters need us.
母親對孩子的愛是深沉而原始的，充滿了保護本能。但隨著小女孩成長為年輕女性，母親必須學習如何以新的方式表達她們的愛。身為媽媽，我們透過放手學會去愛，但當女兒需要我們時，我們會盡量靠近。

The Key Is in the Caring
關鍵在於關懷

I recently discovered a letter that my mother wrote to my sister and me twenty years ago. Oddly enough, I don't remember it being significant to me as a young teenager. My friendships were the biggest part of my life then. On some level, however, I knew that the letter was important
我最近發現了一封我母親二十年前寫給我和妹妹的信。奇怪的是，我不記得這對我十幾歲的時候有什麼意義。那時我的友誼是我生命中最重要的部分。然而，在某種程度上，我知道這封信很重要

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enough to tuck away. I uncover it only now, as a mother of two young girls who are about to take off on their own journeys into womanhood.
足夠藏起來。我直到現在才發現這一點，身為兩個年輕女孩的母親，她們即將踏上自己的女性之旅。

I always knew that my mother was there for me. Even though I naturally rejected her involvement in my life at times, I quietly appreciated her commitment to my growth.
我一直都知道媽媽就在我身邊。儘管我有時自然地拒絕她參與我的生活，但我默默地感謝她對我成長的承諾。

Now I am faced with the very same job that my mother had. I was lucky to have had a mother who was a wise woman... caring, open, and supportive, all necessary ingredients for nurturing a young woman. I am eternally grateful for the ways in which she modeled a healthy mother- daughter relationship.
現在我面臨著和我母親一樣的工作。我很幸運有一位明智的母親……關心、開放和支持，這些都是培養年輕女性的必要要素。我永遠感激她塑造健康母女關係的方式。

~ KAREN, 34, MOTHER
~ 凱倫，34 歲，母親

This is the beginning of the letter that Karen tucked away twenty years ago for safekeeping....
這是凱倫二十年前妥善保管的那封信的開頭…

Dear Karen and Amy,
親愛的凱倫和艾米，

I feel like our talks are open, no matter how much it hurts sometimes. I know that real growth only occurs when a parent can be fully engaged with a kid's mind, body, and soul. The key is in the caring...to do whatever is needed, whether it seems hard or feels supportive. I try to give you room to make mistakes and pick up the pieces. Sometimes my demands and expectations seem unrealistic to you, but please know that even though you may feel this, they are shared in love and concern for the emergence of healthy, well-adjusted kids who feel pride in themselves and in their decisions.
我覺得我們的談話是開放的，無論有時多麼傷人。我知道，只有當父母能夠充分關注孩子的思想、身體和靈魂時，真正的成長才會發生。關鍵在於關心…做任何需要做的事情，無論看起來很難還是感覺被支持。我試著給你犯錯和收拾殘局的空間。有時我的要求和期望對你來說似乎不切實際，但請知道，即使你可能有這樣的感覺，他們也對健康、適應良好的孩子的出現表示愛和關心，他們對自己和自己的決定感到自豪。

You are both on the right track to knowing where you are going, but neither one of you has made your last mistake. Believe me, I surely haven't either! I know that the positive qualities you have developed as young girls will emerge at the forefront as you step towards womanhood....
你們都走在正確的道路上，都知道自己要去哪裡，但你們都沒有犯下上一次的錯。相信我，我當然也沒有！我知道，當你邁向女性時，你作為年輕女孩所培養的正面特質將在最前沿顯現出來...

~ MOM
〜媽媽

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Significant events mark when we move from one part of our lives to another. We let go of the past and step into the future. This is called a rite of passage. Graduations, bat mitzvah, confirmation, a girl's first period, and significant birthdays are all rites of passage that we celebrate in this culture, but there are many other ways that you can intentionally mark moving from one stage of your life to another. Some of these ideas appear in other chapters of this book.
重大事件標誌著我們從生命中的一個部分轉向另一個部分。我們放下過去，邁向未來。這稱為通過儀式。畢業典禮、成年禮、堅信禮、女孩的第一次月經和重要的生日都是我們在這種文化中慶祝的成年儀式，但還有許多其他方式可以有意識地標記從人生的一個階段到另一個階段的轉變。其中一些想法出現在本書的其他章節中。

For mothers and daughters, rites of passage are bittersweet. Our joy is mixed with a tinge of sadness. We reflect on what was, realize what is, and imagine the future. We let go. We step forward. We trust in what lies ahead. It may seem like your parents go a little overboard with all of this sometimes, but remember... they gave birth to you, and your growing is their growing, too.
對母親和女兒來說，成年儀式是苦樂參半的。我們的喜悅中夾雜著一絲悲傷。我們反思過去，認識現在，想像未來。我們放手了。我們向前邁進。我們相信未來。有時你的父母似乎對這一切有點過分，但請記住......他們生下了你，你的成長也是他們的成長。

Eighth Grade Graduation
八年級畢業

My daughter graduated from eighth grade this week. I sat on the bleachers in her middle school gym next to hundreds of other parents so packed in on that hot June evening that we could see our body moisture fog the air. As the kids marched into the school, the collective lumps in the parents' throats seemed more noticeable than the heat. We, I expect, were all thinking the same thought: Where did the time go?
我女兒這週八年級畢業了。在那個炎熱的六月夜晚，我坐在她中學體育館的露天看台上，旁邊還有數百名家長，他們擠在一起，我們可以看到我們身體的水分在空氣中霧化。當孩子們走進學校時，家長們集體的哽咽似乎比炎熱的天氣更引人注目。我想，我們都在想同一個想法：時間都去哪了？

With the intensity of a single mom, I watched my daughter march in. Her brother and I have been all she has had since she was eight and her father died suddenly, leaving us to a world we hardly recognized. I've watched my daughter progress from a bubbly toddler, grinning from the driver's seat of her father's tractor, to a frozen eight-year-old, holding onto whatever version of reality would preserve her, to a questioning twelve- year-old, and now to a budding young woman, ready to take on the world.
我懷著單親媽媽的熱情，看著我的女兒走進來。 。我看著我的女兒從一個活潑開朗、坐在父親拖拉機駕駛座上咧著嘴笑的幼兒，成長為一個冰冷的八歲孩子，堅持著任何能保護她的現實版本，再成長為一個充滿疑問的十二歲孩子，現在是一位嶄露頭角的年輕女子，準備好迎接世界。

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But not in a dress. Meli hates dresses, especially those frilly dresses with lace and ruffles. Some of the other girls wore long satin gowns, others sophisticated, black slinky numbers with cut-out shoulders, but Mell wore a brightly-colored cotton romper of mine. She looked confident and beautiful, with that combination of sweetness and grace that fourteen- year-old girls have. Meli has been lucky. She never went through that awkward stage that so many teenagers experience when they are in constant warfare with their bodies. Meli and her body were made for each other. She is small and slim, but strong. A tomboy, which is not surprising, since she and her brother have either been inseparable or fighting all her life. The boys in her class stay clear of Meli when they are in the mood to tease someone, because she can lick any one of them, and they know it! I don't protest the feistiness in her. I am also the sister of an older brother who taught me how to be tough.
但不是穿裙子。梅莉討厭裙子，尤其是那些帶有蕾絲和褶邊的褶邊連身裙。其他一些女孩穿著長緞子禮服，有些則穿著精緻的黑色緊身連身裙，肩部鏤空，但梅爾穿著我的一件顏色鮮豔的棉質連身褲。她看起來自信而美麗，帶著十四歲女孩的甜美與優雅。梅利很幸運。她從未經歷過許多青少年在與自己的身體不斷鬥爭時所經歷的尷尬階段。梅莉和她的身體是天生的一對。她身材矮小、苗條，但很強壯。一個假小子，這並不奇怪，因為她和她的兄弟要么形影不離，要么打架一輩子。她班上的男孩在想取笑某人時都會遠離梅麗，因為她可以舔他們中的任何一個，而他們知道這一點！我並不反對她的好勝。我也是哥哥的妹妹，他教我如何堅強。

Now, as I watch her standing when her name is called, I see a smirk on her face at the fuss we adults make over rites of passage. I also see a confident girl ready to leave middle school and make her way through the vast halls and even vaster emotional labyrinths of high school. Yet I also hear her quiet voice wisely asking if everything changes when you get to high school. Do friendships break up? Do people change forever? Will her small circle of buddies crack at the center when faced with drugs, alcohol, older men? She knows that Mom can't answer all of the questions, fix all of the problems. She learned that at eight when her exuberant father became ashes in a box. But she asks me these things anyway because she is my daughter and I am the hub of our little family wheel.
現在，當我看到她在被叫到名字時站起來時，我看到她臉上掛著傻笑，因為我們成年人在成年儀式上大驚小怪。我還看到一個自信的女孩準備離開中學，穿過高中廣闊的大廳，甚至更廣闊的情感迷宮。然而，我也聽到她安靜的聲音明智地詢問，當你進入高中時，一切是否都會改變。友誼會破裂嗎？人會永遠改變嗎？當面對毒品、酒精、年長的男人時，她的小圈圈會在中心破裂嗎？她知道媽媽無法回答所有的問題，解決所有的問題。八歲時，當她興高采烈的父親在盒子裡化為骨灰時，她得知了這一點。但她還是問了我這些事情，因為她是我的女兒，而我是我們這個小家庭的中心。

Sometimes I look at her as if she is not my daughter and wonder what kind of person she will be. This often happens as I watch her running in her track meets. Cross- country is especially grueling. She runs in rain, mud, up hills, over rocks, down mudslides. She runs with impeccable posture... head up, chin out, her long brown hair sailing behind her, the only sign of strain her red cheeks. When she crosses the finish line, she does not collapse on the ground as some runners do, but leans over, hands on her knees, breathing quietly. I watch her, this determined young woman who looks so much like her father. I weep, realizing that I have no idea who she will become. She has been on loan to me for a few years,
有時我看著她，就好像她不是我的女兒一樣，想知道她會是什麼樣的人。當我觀看她在田徑比賽中跑步時，這種情況經常發生。越野尤其艱苦。她在雨中、泥濘中奔跑，上山、越過岩石、衝下泥石流。她跑步的姿勢無可挑剔……抬起頭，下巴外展，長長的棕色頭髮在身後飄揚，這是她紅紅的臉頰緊張的唯一跡象。當她衝過終點線時，她並沒有像一些跑者那樣倒在地上，而是彎下腰，雙手放在膝蓋上，靜靜地呼吸。我看著她，這個堅定的年輕女子，看起來很像她的父親。我哭了，意識到我不知道她會成為誰。她已經借我幾年了

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but soon she will go off into her life. I am grateful for my time with her and just hope that when the moment comes for her to leave, she, and I, will be ready.
但很快她就​​會進入自己的生活。我很感激和她在一起的時光，只是希望當她離開的那一刻到來時，她和我都能做好準備。

~ MARIAN, 44
〜瑪麗安，44 歲

The "letting go" between a mother and a daughter happens many times during our lives. When this woman's mother moved away, she finally felt the reality of separation.
母女之間的“放手”，在我們的一生中會發生很多次。當這個女人的母親搬走時，她終於感受到了分離的現實。

So It Goes
就這樣

Sometimes it feels as though I didn't really connect with my mom until I was middle-aged. Although we had been close for years, it was right before she got the crazy notion to run off to Alaska with my dad that we found a common ground.
有時感覺好像直到中年我才真正與媽媽建立聯繫。儘管我們關係親密多年，但就在她產生與我父親一起跑到阿拉斯加的瘋狂想法之前，我們找到了共同點。

It's not that I thought that she didn't deserve a life of her own. After all, I had earned one. But this was my mother! What was she thinking? Who would dry my tears and help me fight my dragons? Who would walk with me in the woods and help me put myself back together again? And why hadn't I found her sooner? If only I had known that she would turn out to be my best friend.
並不是說我認為她不值得擁有自己的生活。畢竟，我已經賺到了。但這是我的母親！她在想什麼？誰會擦乾我的眼淚並幫助我對抗我的惡龍？誰會和我一起在樹林裡散步並幫助我重新振作？我為什麼不早點找到她呢？如果我知道她會成為我最好的朋友就好了。

I put Mom to the test many times over the years. Sometimes I didn't know how I would survive. Now I wonder how she did. After raising three sons of my own and nurturing three grandchildren, I know that I'm not nearly as tough as she is.
多年來，我多次考驗媽媽。有時我不知道自己該如何生存。現在我想知道她是怎麼做的。在撫養了我自己的三個兒子並撫養了三個孫子之後，我知道我並不像她那麼堅強。

I was about to find out what it was like to stand on my own two feet. "She's only a phone call away," I was told. But with Mom gone, my haven in the woods where I used to walk and feel the earth and sky was gone, too. It just wasn't the same.
我正想知道用自己的兩隻腳站起來是什麼感覺。有人告訴我：「只要打個電話就可以了」。但隨著媽媽的離去，我在樹林裡散步、感受大地和天空的避風港也消失了。只是不一樣。

In my mind I kept hearing: "Pick yourself up. Find your backbone and learn to trust in yourself. It's your turn to be in charge, to pull the family together. Holidays and birthdays, all of the family events, are yours to
在我的腦海裡，我不斷聽到：「振作起來。找到自己的支柱，學會相信自己。輪到你負責，讓家庭團結起來。假期和生日，所有的家庭活動，都是你的

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coordinate now, just like Mom did..." Yeah, right! Mom made it all seem effortless, this business of being the Center of the Universe.
現在協調起來，就像媽媽所做的那樣…」是的，對！媽媽讓這一切看起來毫不費力，成為宇宙的中心。

I have stumbled and stood tall. I will be forever grateful for the strength and love my mother has given me to enjoy and to pass along. I see her in myself every day, in the little things...the way I love my granddaughters, and in the understanding I have with my own grown children. I guess I'll be all right. I am onto the business of living. And so goes....
我曾經跌倒過，也站過。我將永遠感激母親給我的力量和愛，讓我享受並傳承下去。我每天都在自己身上、在小事上看到她……我愛我的孫女的方式，以及我對自己成年孩子的理解。我想我會沒事的。我專注於生活。就這樣......

~KATHI, 46, DAUGHTER, MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER
~KATHI，46 歲，女兒、母親、祖母

As a teenager, your relationship with your parents can be really challenging. It's not always easy to find ways to be understood. Don't forget that the stuff you are going through may be pushing your parents' buttons. They were once teenagers, too, and may have their own unfinished, adolescent struggles. It's their job to deal with their feelings, and it's your job to find effective ways to communicate to them what is going on for you. Here are some thoughts that girls have shared with their parents in order to feel more understood....
作為青少年，您與父母的關係可能​​確實充滿挑戰。找到被理解的方法並不總是那麼容易。不要忘記，你正在經歷的事情可能會讓你父母感到不安。他們也曾經是青少年，可能也有自己未完成的青春期掙扎。他們的工作就是處理他們的感受，而你的工作就是找到有效的方法來向他們傳達你正在發生的事情。以下是女孩們與父母分享的一些想法，以便獲得更多理解...

"If you want me to be open and talk with you, then be willing to listen without judgment. I need someone to listen and accept me. Don't always tell me what I did wrong or what I should think. I will learn from my own mistakes if you give me a chance." 

"If you want me to be happy, just telling me to be happy won't work! Show me how much you love me. Spend time with me." 

"If you tell me that I can make a decision, then support me in whatever decision I make. Don't keep second- guessing me or I will grow up struggling with even the simplest choices." 

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"If you want me to think for myself and not worry about what other people think about me, then don't always be worried about what other people think of you. Be yourself if you want me to be myself!" 

“If you want me to have a loving relationship, show me how it is done. Don't be afraid to hold hands with Dad, kiss each other, and show affection in front of me. Otherwise, when you tell me someday to go ahead and hold my boyfriend's hand, I will be uncomfortable to show affection in front of others." 

"If you are upset about something in your own life, don't take it out on me. Do something about it. Listen to your own advice." 

"If you want me to value our family, then find ways to make it seem important and create some happy memories. Make sure we spend some time all together." 

"If you make a mistake or a bad decision, tell me about it. I can learn from your experiences." 

"I am not you, or Dad, or my brother or sister. See me for who I am." 

"If it's too hard for you to talk to me about some of the stuff that I am dealing with, then help me find someone who can." 

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Spend some time thinking about what would help you and your mom communicate in a healthy way. It takes two of you to have a relationship, and your mom doesn't always have the answers. Be brave enough to share your suggestions.
花一些時間思考什麼可以幫助您和您的媽媽以健康的方式溝通。建立關係需要兩個人的努力，而你媽媽並不總是能給出答案。勇敢分享您的建議。

There still may be times when it's hard to keep your voice with your parents....
有時候仍然很難與父母保持聯繫...

My Daughter's Decision, Not Mine
我女兒的決定，不是我的

When I was in sixth grade, I began to develop breasts, and I was uncomfortable wearing just my regular shirt. I was sure I needed a bra. My mom was sure that I didn't. When I first asked her about it, she reached up, felt my breasts, and said, "You don't need a bra yet.”
當我六年級時，我的胸部開始發育，只穿普通的襯衫讓我感到不舒服。我確信我需要一件胸罩。我媽確信我沒有。當我第一次問她這件事時，她伸手摸我的乳房，然後說：“你還不需要胸罩。”

I remember running to my room, crying. I wasn't only upset because she said "no." I was upset because she had put her hand on my breast. I'm sure she didn't think twice about it, but today it still troubles me to think about how she invaded my privacy. Instead of becoming a time that brought me closer to my mom and helped me feel good about my changing body, I felt alone, angry at her for feeling my breast, and angry at myself for not stopping her. I was left with the lasting impression that my opinion didn't matter, even about my own body.
我記得我跑到我的房間，哭了。我不只是因為她說「不」而感到不安。我很不高興，因為她把手放在我的胸口上。我確信她沒有三思而後行，但今天一想到她是如何侵犯我的隱私，我仍然感到困擾。我並沒有成為一個讓我和媽媽更親近、讓我對自己不斷變化的身體感覺良好的時期，而是感到孤獨，對她摸我的乳房感到憤怒，對自己沒有阻止她感到憤怒。給我留下了深刻的印象：我的意見並不重要，即使是關於我自己的身體。

Now I am a mom. When my oldest daughter began to develop breasts, she and I went together to buy her some bras. I wanted her to have a few bras to wear when she felt that she wanted to or needed to. The decision was hers, not mine. It's her body. She knew that she had my blessing when she was ready.
現在我是一位媽媽。當我的大女兒乳房開始發育時，我和她一起去買了一些胸罩給她。當她覺得自己想要或需要時，我希望她可以穿一些胸罩。決定是她的，不是我的。這是她的身體。她知道當她準備好時，她會得到我的祝福。

~ ANONYMOUS, 35
~ 匿名，35 歲

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Like a Yo-Yo
像溜溜球一樣

I remember asking my mother how long it would take me to become an adolescent. She explained that usually "adolescent" meant turning thirteen. I asked her if it was really true that I had to become an adolescent before I could be an adult. Mom replied that this was indeed a fact...one had to come before the other. Rolling my eyes and sighing, I shook my head in disbelief. My impatience was showing, and Mom then asked me why I was in such a hurry to grow up. I remember responding, "Because I've got a lot of things to do with my life!"
我記得我問過媽媽我需要多長時間才能成為青少年。她解釋說，通常「青春​​期」意味著十三歲。我問她，我是否真的必須先成為青少年才能成為成年人。媽媽回答說，這確實是事實……先有後有。我翻了個白眼，嘆了口氣，難以置信地搖搖頭。我表現出了不耐煩，媽媽問我為什麼這麼急著長大。我記得我回答說：“因為我的生活中有很多事情要做！”

Ages ten, eleven, twelve... I felt like I had no identity. I wasn't really a child, but I wasn't an adolescent either, according to my mother. Privileges and responsibilities came and went without anyone explaining why. One minute I was told that I had to do certain household chores or babysitting because I was "almost grown." The next minute, they told me I couldn't do something, like go to the movies with my friends, because I was "not old enough." Who was in charge of all this changing, anyway? I felt like a yo-yo on a short string, but eventually it became clear to me just who I was and what it meant to truly be an adolescent.
十歲、十一歲、十二歲……我覺得自己沒有身分。據我母親說，我並不是一個真正的孩子，但我也不是一個青少年。特權和責任來了又去，沒有人解釋原因。前一分鐘，我被告知我必須做某些家事或照顧孩子，因為我「快長大了」。下一分鐘，他們告訴我我不能做某件事，例如和朋友去看電影，因為我「還不夠大」。到底是誰負責這一切的改變呢？我感覺自己就像一個短繩上的溜溜球，但最終我清楚了自己是誰，以及真正成為青少年意味著什麼。

If you have any questions, ask someone about them. Ask a neighbor, a teacher, ask your best friend's mother if you can't ask your own mother what's going on. Keep asking until you get the answers you need.
如有任何疑問，請向相關人員詢問。問問鄰居、老師，如果你不能問自己的媽媽怎麼了，就問問你最好朋友的媽媽。繼續詢問，直到獲得所需的答案。

~ LUISAH, 50
〜路易莎，50 歲

O

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Mothers, grandmothers, aunts, teachers, and older female friends can all
媽媽、奶奶、阿姨、老師、年長的女性朋友都可以

nurture and guide us as young women. Most women feel a "mothering instinct" in some way. They can share the wisdom of a mother, even if they are not mothers themselves. The following stories are about ways that girls can connect with female role models when their own moms aren't emotionally or physically available.
培養和指導我們作為年輕女性。大多數女性都以某種方式感受到「母性本能」。她們可以分享母親的智慧，即使她們自己不是母親。以下故事講述了當自己的媽媽在情感上或身體上無法陪伴時，女孩可以如何與女性榜樣建立聯繫。

I Knew You Could Do It!
我知道你做得到！

When I was really young, my mom was hardly ever around because she was always working on the farm. Both of my grandmothers died before I was eight years old. I never had a chance to know them, but I was lucky enough to have a neighbor named Anna who treated me just like her granddaughter. She was single and never had any children of her own, but I always felt like we were related somehow. She led a very interesting life, traveled all over the world, and would talk to me in French and German. I can still remember the cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches she would make for me on rainy summer afternoons.
當我很小的時候，我媽媽幾乎不在身邊，因為她總是在農場工作。我的兩位祖母在我八歲之前就過世了。我從來沒有機會認識他們，但我很幸運有一個名叫安娜的鄰居，她對待我就像她的孫女一樣。她單身，從未有過自己的孩子，但我總覺得我們有某種連結。她過著非常有趣的生活，環遊世界，並用法語和德語與我交談。我仍然記得她在下雨的夏日午後為我做的奶油乳酪和黃瓜三明治。

I moved away from the town where Anna lived when I was in seventh grade. We wrote letters back and forth for several years, but by the time I was a sophomore in high school, we had lost touch with each other.
我七年級時搬離了安娜居住的小鎮。我們來來回回寫了好幾年的書信，但當我讀高中二年級時，我們就失去了聯繫。

from high school. The day before graduation, a small package arrived at my door with no return address. I opened the box, and it was from Anna. The dark blue velvet case held a beautiful silver bracelet, just like one she used to wear. The card simply read, “I knew you could do it. Love you, Anna." Tears of gratitude filled my eyes.
從高中開始。畢業前一天，一個小包裹到達我家門口，沒有回信地址。我打開盒子，是安娜寄來的。深藍色的天鵝絨盒子裡裝著一隻漂亮的銀手鐲，就像她以前戴的一樣。卡片上只寫著：「我知道你能做到。愛你，安娜。

Last June I graduated
去年六月我畢業了

Now I am in my first year of college. I am meeting tons of people at school and in the community where I live. Looking back, I realize what a gift my relationship with Anna was. She was there when I really needed her. She was a mentor, a friend, a great listener, and she believed in me.
現在我正在上大學一年級。我在學校和我居住的社區遇到了很多人。回想起來，我意識到我和安娜的關係是多麼珍貴的禮物。當我真正需要她的時候她就在那裡。她是一位導師、一位朋友、一位出色的傾聽者，而且她相信我。

Many women in the world have the nurturing energy of a mother or grandmother. As you become a woman, look for an "Anna" in your life.
世界上許多女性都擁有母親或祖母的養育能量。當你成為一個女人時，在你的生活中尋找一個「安娜」。

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She may be a relative, your neighbor, a teacher, or a woman you meet on the street. But her stories and ideas may plant seeds in you that will grow in time.
她可能是親戚、鄰居、老師或你在街上遇到的女人。但她的故事和想法可能會在你心中播下種子，並隨著時間的推移而成長。

~ ANNA'S FRIEND, 18
~ 安娜的朋友，18 歲

Second Chances
第二次機會

My mother died of leukemia when I was five years old. It seems that my entire life has revolved around losing her and growing up without a mom. I didn't allow anyone else into my life who might betray her memory. From the time I was twelve or thirteen, every year on her birthday and on the anniversary of her death, I would get very upset. I used these days to mourn her rather than to celebrate her life. I would sit alone in a dark room, light candles, listen to sad music, and stare at photographs of her. Not only did this affect me, but it impacted everyone around me. I put my stepmother through years of pain because I was unable to let go of my mother's memory. My father was trying to move on with his life, but I constantly mentioned my mother's name and tried to hold him back.
我五歲時，母親因白血病過世了。似乎我的一生都圍繞著失去她和在沒有媽媽的情況下成長。我不允許任何可能背叛她記憶的人進入我的生活。從我十二歲或十三歲開始，每年她的生日和忌日，我都會感到非常沮喪。我用這些天來哀悼她，而不是慶祝她的一生。我會獨自坐在黑暗的房間裡，點燃蠟燭，聽悲傷的音樂，盯著她的照片。這不僅影響了我，也影響了我周圍的每個人。我讓繼母承受了多年的痛苦，因為我無法放下對母親的記憶。我父親試圖繼續他的生活，但我不斷提到我母親的名字並試圖阻止他。

I needed my mother to help me grow up. I didn't think that anyone else on earth could teach me how to become a woman because only she was my biological mother. I felt guilty whenever I tried to love my stepmother or other women in my life, even though my own mother would have wanted me to share a mother-daughter relationship with someone. I knew in my heart that my mother could never be replaced. My stepmother was not trying to replace her; she simply wanted to be my friend.
我需要媽媽來幫助我成長。我不認為世界上有任何人可以教我如何成為一個女人，因為只有她才是我的親生母親。每當我試圖愛我的繼母或生活中的其他女人時，我都會感到內疚，儘管我自己的母親希望我與某人分享母女關係。我心裡知道，我的母親是永遠無法取代的。我的繼母並不是想取代她；她只是想取代她。她只是想成為我的朋友。

I have learned one lesson from all of this...a mother's bond with a child will always survive. There will always be a connection. If you have the chance to create a special relationship with someone else who can serve as a positive role model and encourage you along life's path, grab it! If you push them away enough times, you may not get another chance.
我從這一切中學到了一個教訓……母親與孩子的連結將永遠存在。總是會有聯繫的。如果您有機會與其他人建立特殊的關係，並成為積極的榜樣並鼓勵您走上人生的道路，請抓住它！如果你把它們推開夠多次，你可能就不會再有機會了。

I was twenty-two before I realized that I had lost something that could have been wonderful with my stepmother. Now I am ready to have a rela-
在我二十二歲的時候，我意識到我失去了一些本來可以和繼母一起度過的美好事物。現在我已經準備好建立關係了

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tionship with her. Slowly, my dad and I are developing a special bond that was never a part of our past, and I think it will happen with my stepmother, too.
與她的關係。慢慢地，我和父親正在建立一種特殊的聯繫，這種聯繫在我們的過去從未有過，我想這也會發生在我的繼母身上。

~ NEILLE, 22
~ 尼爾，22 歲

There are many women in the world open and ready to share their mother wisdom with you. Watch and wait. Your next door neighbor, a teacher, or a woman you meet in the park someday may have a piece of wisdom that you need!
世界上有許多女性願意與您分享她們的母親智慧。觀察並等待。您的隔壁鄰居、老師或您有一天在公園遇到的一位女士可能有您需要的智慧！

Mother Wisdom
母親的智慧

To the daughter I will never have,
為了我永遠不會有的女兒，

I am writing to you to share some of the mother wisdom deep within me. I am not able to talk to you about these things because, although I have a beautiful son, I have no daughter to share the feminine wisdom that has been given to me by the women in my life. Whenever I see a young girl, I think of you. I imagine who you might have been. I promise to share these thoughts with the young women I meet along the way.
我寫信給你是為了分享我內心深處的一些母親智慧。我無法和你談論這些事情，因為雖然我有一個漂亮的兒子，但我沒有一個女兒來分享我生命中的女性賦予我的女性智慧。每當我看到一個年輕女孩，我就會想起你。我想像你可能是誰。我保證與我一路上遇到的年輕女性分享這些想法。

My wise mother taught me the power of nurturing our creativity. She taught me late in her life that I shouldn't wait for perfection, because we never know how long we have upon the earth. As women, we are caretakers, and it is one of the finest traits we possess. One warning...don't forget to take care of yourself. A woman who only cares for others may find herself drowning if she doesn't take time for herself.
我明智的母親教會了我培養創造力的力量。她在晚年告訴我，我不該等待完美，因為我們永遠不知道我們在地球上還能活多久。身為女性，我們是照顧者，這是我們擁有的最好特質之一。一個警告……別忘了照顧好自己。一個只關心別人的女人如果不花時間關心自己，可能會發現自己被淹死。

My grandmothers taught me about living life to the fullest. Be curious and never stop asking questions until you understand. Take risks, travel, and seek education. Life is an adventure!
我的祖母教我如何過著充實的生活。保持好奇心，在理解之前不要停止提問。冒險、旅行、尋求教育。人生就是一場冒險！

Your strength as a woman can lie in your desire to give something back to the world, even when the world doesn't seem to be giving to you. Unselfishness and giving without expectation are expressions of love.
身為一個女人，你的力量在於你渴望回饋世界，即使世界似乎沒有給你任何東西。無私、不求回報的付出，都是愛的表現。

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Remember the importance of your family stories...not just the happy, joyful ones, but the dark and tragic ones too. We learn from each other's experiences. Share your story so that you may learn from the telling and others can learn from you.
請記住家庭故事的重要性……不僅是幸福、快樂的故事，還有黑暗和悲慘的故事。我們互相學習彼此的經驗。分享您的故事，以便您可以從講述中學習，其他人也可以向您學習。

Now I am the matriarch of the family. The others have died and their work is done. It's up to me now to help you feel some connection to the women who came before you in this world. When I see you in the face of a young girl on the street, at work, at church, or in my family, I will tell you my story. I will be ready.
現在我是這個家庭的女家長。其他人都死了，他們的工作也完成了。現在我要幫助你感受到與這個世界上先於你的女性之間的連結。當我在街上、在工作中、在教會或在家裡看到你面對一個年輕女孩時，我會告訴你我的故事。我會準備好的。

~ SALLY, 41
〜莎莉，41 歲

Grandmothers play a special role in our lives when we are becoming
當我們成長時，祖母在我們的生活中扮演著特殊的角色

women. Since we usually don't live with them every day, we don't worry quite as much about upsetting them or hurting their feelings. Sometimes it's easier to listen to the wisdom of a grandma....
女性。由於我們通常不會每天和他們住在一起，所以我們不太擔心讓他們心煩意亂或傷害他們的感情。有時候聽聽奶奶的智慧會比較容易...

Winonah
薇諾娜

I visited my grandmother, Winonah, only four or five times in my childhood, but whenever I did, she would sit me on her lap. She always wore purple, and always smelled of lavender. In those quiet moments, she would remind me, “Tessie, security is knowing that we have none." She presented these words to me as Great Truth, quietly, peacefully, but powerfully. Then she would pat me on the leg.
我小時候只去看我的祖母威諾娜四、五次，但每次我去看她時，她都會讓我坐在她的腿上。她總是穿著紫色的衣服，總是有薰衣草的味道。在那些安靜的時刻，她會提醒我，「泰西，安全就是知道我們沒有。」她把這些話當作偉大的真理，安靜地、平和地但有力地呈現給我。腿。

I'm sure she must have said other things to me, too, but these words made a huge impression on me, even though I didn't know what they meant until I was much older.
我確信她一定還對我說過其他的話，但這些話給我留下了深刻的印象，儘管直到我長大了才知道它們的意義。

~ TESS, 46, THERAPIST, MOTHER OF TWO SONS
~ TESS，46 歲，治療師，兩個兒子的母親

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How I Learned to Knit
我是如何學會編織的

I don't know exactly when I started knitting, but I can tell you how it started. I was visiting my grandmother. Gramma Ginny was always knitting. She even had knitting needles in her kitchen drawer. One day I was playing with yarn and needles when Gramma Ginny came up from behind me. I jumped.
我不知道我到底是什麼時候開始編織的，但我可以告訴你它是如何開始的。我正在拜訪我的祖母。金妮奶奶總是在織毛衣。她的廚房抽屜裡甚至還有織針。有一天，我正在玩毛線和針，金妮奶奶從我身後走過來。我跳了起來。

"What are you doing?" she asked.
“你在幹什麼？”她問。

I said, "I'm trying to figure out how to knit."
我說：“我正在想辦法編織。”

"Would you like me to teach you?" she asked gently.
“要我教你嗎？”她輕聲問。

I responded quickly, “Oh, could you?" And she did.
我很快回答說：「哦，可以嗎？」她做到了。

Gramma Ginny was so kind, patient and loving. She was always calm and relaxed when she was knitting, and it was a pleasure to learn from a woman who was so talented. Knitting was her passion. She refused to do dishes more than once a day. She always said it wasted time, energy, and water. And besides, it kept you from knitting!
金妮奶奶非常善良、有耐心和愛心。她在編織時總是很平靜和放鬆，向一位如此有才華的女性學習是一種樂趣。編織是她的愛好。她每天拒絕洗碗超過一次。她總是說這浪費時間、精力和水。而且，它還讓你無法編織！

What does all this have to do with becoming a woman? This is a story of selfless love; a story of a time when I was shown special attention at an important moment in my journey towards womanhood. Gramma Ginny took the time to teach me a craft that I have been proud of my whole life. I have been knitting for over thirty years. Now it is one of my passions. Gramma Ginny gave me a special gift. Look for women who can share
這一切與成為女人有什麼關係？這是一個無私的愛的故事；這是一個關於我在邁向女性之路的重要時刻受到特別關注的故事。金妮奶奶花時間教我一門我一生都引以為傲的手藝。我從事編織工作已有三十多年了。現在這是我的嗜好之一。金妮奶奶給了我一份特別的禮物。尋找能夠分享的女性

their gifts with you.
他們的禮物和你在一起。

~ DARYL, 44,
〜達裡爾，44 歲，

SINGLE MOTHER OF TWO GIRLS
兩個女孩的單親母親

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A mother's love has many faces. A daughter's love is ever changing. May we always stay open to each other, learn from our mistakes, and help each other grow into the women we want to be.
母愛有很多面。女兒的愛是不斷改變的。願我們始終對彼此保持開放態度，從錯誤中學習教訓，並幫助彼此成長為我們想成為的女性。

FOR MY DAUGHTER AT NINETEEN
獻給我十九歲的女兒

My daughter's eyes are gray as the lake on a cloudy day,
我女兒的眼睛像陰天的湖水一樣灰暗，

or green as the moss in the deep wood.
或綠如密林深處的苔蘚。

Her brown hair shimmers in the sun.
她棕色的頭髮在陽光下閃閃發光。

She is very dear to me.
她對我來說非常親愛。

I used to pray: "Lord, hold her in the palm of your hand. Keep her from harm. She feels so much!" But life is not like that, and rightly so, perhaps.
我常常祈禱：“主啊，把她抱在你的手掌裡。讓她免受傷害。她的感受如此強烈！”但生活並非如此，或許也確實如此。

So, now I pray: "Give her strength to meet the needs of every day. and the courage to work her dreams. Send her a Love that holds her close yet sets her free!"
所以，現在我祈禱：“給她力量來滿足每天的需要。給她實現夢想的勇氣。給她一份愛，讓她親近，但又讓她自由！”

Growing up is very hard for Mothers, too.
成長對媽媽來說也是很辛苦的。

Jean, 50
吉恩, 50

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A MOTHER'S LOVE
母愛

Her wisdom is my wisdom,
她的智慧就是我的智慧

Her love can be my love to share,
她的愛可以成為我分享的愛，

And her story is my story,
她的故事就是我的故事，

A story that's carried on
一個仍在延續的故事

By so many women who care,
受到這麼多女性的關心，

And passed down forever by granddaughters everywhere.
並由各地的孫女永遠傳承下去。

~Deb, 42, songwriter
~Deb，42 歲，詞曲作者

E♡E

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So What's the
那什麼是

Big Deal?
有什麼大不了的？

Check Vourself Out!
檢查一下自己！

T You're Beautifu
你很美麗

The Meaning of Menstruation
月經的意義

S deal?" We hear this a lot when we bring up the topic of menstruation with teenage girls. When we really listen, we understand that the words also mean, "Stop making such a big fuss about all of this." "I really don't want to talk about it." "This is too embarrassing." The shame that has been laid upon generations of women regarding menstruation can be heard in these comments. When we get beyond the embarrassment, it becomes clear that most of us do have a desire to find some meaning in the rhythmic cycles of our bodies. We want to know what the "big deal" is, but in a way that fits for each of us.
當我們與十幾歲的女孩談論月經話題時，我們經常聽到這樣的說法。 「我們確實渴望在我們身體的節律週期中找到一些意義，但以適合我們每個人的方式。

There are as many ways to view menstruation as there are women in this world. Family traditions, religions, and cultures all shape our perceptions. In recent years, some of the stigma that has burdened our experiences has broken down. However, we still have a long way to go to educate ourselves about the biological, emotional, and spiritual aspects of menstruating. Sometimes the very things that are messy, uncomfortable, and painful can also bring meaning, connection, and new life to this world. Let's remind each other that menstruation is one of the awesome and unique parts of being a woman.
世界上有多少個女人，就有多少種看待月經的方法。家庭傳統、宗教和文化都塑造了我們的觀念。近年來，一些給我們的經歷帶來負擔的恥辱已經消失。然而，要了解月經的生理、情緒和精神方面的知識，我們還有很長的路要走。有時，那些混亂、不舒服和痛苦的事物也能為這個世界帶來意義、連結和新生命。讓我們互相提醒，月經是女性最美妙、最獨特的部分之一。

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6

o, what's the big
哦，有什麼大的

Menstruation Means...
月經意味著...

Menstruation means growing up. When you start menstruating, you are beginning to become a woman.
月經代表著成長。當你開始月經時，你就開始成為一個女人。

When I think about getting my period, I feel a little nervous. Once a year, the school nurse comes in to talk to our class about puberty. That's when a lot of people start laughing. I do feel a little embarrassed, but I think we all need to learn about puberty and the changes our bodies are going through.
一想到要來月經，我就感到有點緊張。每年一次，學校護士會來跟我們班談青春期。就在這時，很多人開始大笑。我確實感到有點尷尬，但我認為我們都需要了解青春期和我們的身體正在經歷的變化。

If you didn't have a chance to learn the facts, imagine what you would think when all of the changes of puberty started happening to you!
如果您沒有機會了解事實，想像一下當青春期的所有變化開始發生在您身上時您會怎麼想！

~ ANONYMOUS, 10
~ 匿名，10

RHYTHM OF WOMEN
女性的韻律

When it happened the first time,
第一次發生的時候，

It seemed like a dream.
這看起來就像是一場夢。

Light pink stain on toilet paper,
衛生紙上有淺粉紅色污漬，

Hug from Mom, flower from Dad,
媽媽的擁抱，爸爸的花，

Over and done with in two days.
兩天內就完成了。

No big deal.
沒什麼大不了的。

But when it happened again the next month,
但當下個月再次發生這種情況時，

Reality hit.
現實打擊了。

Truth squeezed into my body with each little cramp.
隨著每一次小小的痙攣，真理都擠進了我的身體。

I really was becoming a woman.
我真的正在成為一個女人。

In the months that followed, everything seemed so new.
接下來的幾個月裡，一切都顯得那麼新鮮。

Sharing stories of first periods,
分享第一期的故事，

Offering sympathy when my friend had cramps,
當我的朋友抽筋時表示同情，

Teaching my sister about tampons.
教妹妹有關衛生棉條的知識。

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It made me feel part of something... A rhythm of women, bleeding together, bringing life to this world.
它讓我感覺自己是某些東西的一部分……女性的節奏，一起流血，為這個世界帶來生命。

~almost a woman, 16
〜幾乎是個女人，16

In some of the writing groups we have held, girls and women were asked what menstruation meant to them. Here are some of the things they shared....
在我們舉辦的一些寫作小組中，女孩和婦女被問到月經對她們意味著什麼。以下是他們分享的一些內容...

What Does Menstruation Mean to You?
月經對你來說意味著什麼？

"Turning from a girl into a woman." -age 11
“從女孩變成女人。” -11歲

"Really bad cramps." -age 13
“抽筋得厲害。” -13歲

"Being moody." -age 12
“心情不好。” -12歲

"Something else to worry about." -age 14
“還有事要擔心。” -14歲

"Cleansing. I know what time of the month it is!"
“清潔。我知道現在是什麼時候！”

-age 36
-36歲

"I'm finished menstruating, and I miss it sometimes!"
「我月經快結束了，有時會想念它！”

-age 53
-53歲

"Being part of a cycle." -age 34
“成為循環的一部分。” -34歲

"A mess!" -age 17
“一團糟！” -17歲

"The ability to have children, nurse babies, mother."
“有能力生孩子、哺乳嬰兒、做母親。”

-age 41
-41歲

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"I am becoming a woman." -age 14
“我正在變成一個女人。” -14歲

"That I'd better be sure to have birth control if I am going to have intercourse." -age 17
“如果我要發生性行為，我最好確保採取避孕措施。” -17歲

"PMS, dropping stuff, feeling fat. Sweet relief when I actually get my period." -age 39
「經前綜合症、掉東西、感覺發胖。當我真正來月經時，真是輕鬆了很多。” -39歲

"That I am not pregnant!" -age 27
“我沒有懷孕！” -27歲

"That I am connected to all women. I can't believe it when all of the women in my dorm get their periods on the same day. Amazing!" -age 20
“我與所有女性都有聯繫。當我宿舍裡的所有女性都在同一天來月經時，我簡直不敢相信。太棒了！” -20歲

Understanding the meaning that menstruation has for each of us begins with reflecting upon our own experience, then sharing our stories with other girls and women. The following pages are filled with "first period stories." Some are funny, while some are far from humorous. Regardless, these early experiences can shape our overall view of menstruation.
要了解月經對我們每個人的意義，首先要反思我們自己的經歷，然後與其他女孩和婦女分享我們的故事。接下來的幾頁充滿了「第一時期的故事」。有些很有趣，有些則一點也不幽默。無論如何，這些早期經驗可以塑造我們對月經的整體看法。

Announcement at the Mall
商場公告

We all have our stories about our first periods. I will never forget mine for as long as I live. I was at the mall shopping with my mother. I was in the dressing room and Mom was waiting outside, bugging me to see what I was trying on. When I opened the door and whispered to her that I was bleeding, she suppressed her excitement slightly, then quickly ran to another store to get me some pads. How mortifying! Standing in a dressing room, waiting for your mom to get you feminine hygiene products. But that wasn't the worst part!
我們都有第一次月經的故事。只要我還活著，我就永遠不會忘記我的。我和媽媽一起去商場購物。我在更衣室裡，媽媽在外面等著，催促我看看我試穿了什麼。當我打開門，小聲告訴她我流血了，她稍微壓抑了一下激動的心情，然後飛快地跑到另一家商店給我買了一些護墊。多麼丟臉啊！站在更衣室裡，等媽媽幫你拿女性衛生用品。但這還不是最糟的部分！

As we were leaving the mall, we ran into one of my mother's friends. Of course, Mom had to announce, "Jennifer just got her period for the first time!" I was never so embarrassed in all of my life. My mother pro-
當我們離​​開商場時，我們遇到了我母親的一位朋友。當然，媽媽必須宣布：“珍妮佛剛剛來了第一次月經！”我一生中從未如此尷尬過。我媽媽親

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ceeded to announce my "entry into womanhood" to everyone she talked to. She probably would have run an ad in the local newspaper if she could have!
同意向她交談過的每個人宣布我“進入女性身份”。如果可以的話，她可能會在當地報紙上刊登廣告！

To top it off, my older stepsister was furious because I had gotten my period before she did. As far as I was concerned, she could have it! Cramps, not being able to swim, bulky pads that made you feel like there was a quilt in your underwear...no thanks!
最糟糕的是，我的姐姐很生氣，因為我比她先來了月經。就我而言，她可以擁有它！抽筋、無法游泳、笨重的護墊讓您感覺內衣裡有被子……不，謝謝！

At first I was embarrassed about having my period. However, as I became more comfortable with my new status and learned how wonderful tampons were, I realized that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. I won't deny that there were times when I felt that having my period was a nuisance, like when I was going to the beach, or when I just didn't feel like dealing with the whole thing. But I have also felt amazed by the miracle of our bodies. Menstruation is a truly phenomenal cycle of nature that connects all women.
起初我對月經感到尷尬。然而，當我對自己的新身分越來越適應並了解到衛生棉條有多麼美妙時，我意識到沒有什麼可尷尬的。我不會否認，有時候我覺得月經很麻煩，例如當我去海灘的時候，或是我只是不想處理整件事的時候。但我也對我們身體的奇蹟感到驚訝。月經是一個真正非凡的自然循環，將所有女性聯繫在一起。

I can now look back on my first period and smile. I am no longer embarrassed about menstruation. In fact, I was delighted to discover that the best way to get rid of an annoying boy is to launch into an in-depth discussion about the female menstrual cycle! I have come to realize that while society sometimes makes menstruation seem dirty and taboo, there is nothing wrong with us.
我現在可以回顧我的第一次月經並微笑。我不再因為月經而感到尷尬了。事實上，我很高興地發現擺脫煩人男孩的最佳方法就是深入討論女性月經週期！我開始意識到，雖然社會有時會讓月經看起來骯髒和禁忌，但我們並沒有什麼問題。

I know that one day I will celebrate my passage into menopause just as I endured my passage through puberty. I also know that our lives are all about cycles and changes. I will not let society tell me what is right and what is wrong. I will celebrate my life as I know nature intended.
我知道有一天我會慶祝我進入更年期，就像我經歷青春期一樣。我也知道，我們的生活充滿了循環和變化。我不會讓社會告訴我什麼是對的，什麼是錯的。我將慶祝我的生活，因為我知道大自然的意圖。

~JENNIFER, 22, STUDENT
~JENNIFER，22 歲，學生

Today You Are a Woman
今天你是個女人

There I was, dressed in my can-can slips, hot-starched and ironed under a spotless dress. I was the kind of little black girl who loved to dress up, but also enjoyed fishing, hanging from the willow tree, and shooting marbles with the boys. On this day I was just about to win another cat-eye marble when my mother called out, "Heifer, come on in here!" I couldn't imag-
我就在那裡，穿著一塵不染的裙子，穿著熱漿熨燙過的康康舞裙。我是那種喜歡打扮的黑人小女孩，也喜歡釣魚、掛在柳樹上、和男孩們一起彈珠。這一天，我正要贏得另一個貓眼彈珠，這時媽媽喊道：“小母牛，快進來！”我無法想像——

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"I am becoming a woman." -age 14
“我正在變成一個女人。” -14歲

"That I'd better be sure to have birth control if I am going to have intercourse." -age 17
“如果我要發生性行為，我最好確保採取避孕措施。” -17歲

"PMS, dropping stuff, feeling fat. Sweet relief when I actually get my period." -age 39
「經前綜合症、掉東西、感覺發胖。當我真正來月經時，真是輕鬆了很多。” -39歲

"That I am not pregnant!" -age 27
“我沒有懷孕！” -27歲

"That I am connected to all women. I can't believe it when all of the women in my dorm get their periods on the same day. Amazing!" -age 20
“我與所有女性都有聯繫。當我宿舍裡的所有女性都在同一天來月經時，我簡直不敢相信。太棒了！” -20歲

Understanding the meaning that menstruation has for each of us begins with reflecting upon our own experience, then sharing our stories with other girls and women. The following pages are filled with "first period stories." Some are funny, while some are far from humorous. Regardless, these early experiences can shape our overall view of menstruation.
要了解月經對我們每個人的意義，首先要反思我們自己的經歷，然後與其他女孩和婦女分享我們的故事。接下來的幾頁充滿了「第一時期的故事」。有些很有趣，有些則一點也不幽默。無論如何，這些早期經驗可以塑造我們對月經的整體看法。

Announcement at the Mall
商場公告

We all have our stories about our first periods. I will never forget mine for as long as I live. I was at the mall shopping with my mother. I was in the dressing room and Mom was waiting outside, bugging me to see what I was trying on. When I opened the door and whispered to her that I was bleeding, she suppressed her excitement slightly, then quickly ran to another store to get me some pads. How mortifying! Standing in a dressing room, waiting for your mom to get you feminine hygiene products. But that wasn't the worst part!
我們都有第一次月經的故事。只要我還活著，我就永遠不會忘記我的。我和媽媽一起去商場購物。我在更衣室裡，媽媽在外面等著，催促我看看我試穿了什麼。當我打開門，小聲告訴她我流血了，她稍微壓抑了一下激動的心情，然後飛快地跑到另一家商店給我買了一些護墊。多麼丟臉啊！站在更衣室裡，等媽媽幫你拿女性衛生用品。但這還不是最糟的部分！

As we were leaving the mall, we ran into one of my mother's friends. Of course, Mom had to announce, "Jennifer just got her period for the first time!" I was never so embarrassed in all of my life. My mother pro-
當我們離​​開商場時，我們遇到了我母親的一位朋友。當然，媽媽必須宣布：“珍妮佛剛剛來了第一次月經！”我一生中從未如此尷尬過。我媽媽親

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ceeded to announce my "entry into womanhood" to everyone she talked to. She probably would have run an ad in the local newspaper if she could have!
同意向她交談過的每個人宣布我“進入女性身份”。如果可以的話，她可能會在當地報紙上刊登廣告！

To top it off, my older stepsister was furious because I had gotten my period before she did. As far as I was concerned, she could have it! Cramps, not being able to swim, bulky pads that made you feel like there was a quilt in your underwear...no thanks!
最糟糕的是，我的姐姐很生氣，因為我比她先來了月經。就我而言，她可以擁有它！抽筋、無法游泳、笨重的護墊讓您感覺內衣裡有被子……不，謝謝！

At first I was embarrassed about having my period. However, as I became more comfortable with my new status and learned how wonderful tampons were, I realized that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. I won't deny that there were times when I felt that having my period was a nuisance, like when I was going to the beach, or when I just didn't feel like dealing with the whole thing. But I have also felt amazed by the miracle of our bodies. Menstruation is a truly phenomenal cycle of nature that connects all women.
起初我對月經感到尷尬。然而，當我對自己的新身分越來越適應並了解到衛生棉條有多麼美妙時，我意識到沒有什麼可尷尬的。我不會否認，有時候我覺得月經很麻煩，例如當我去海灘的時候，或是我只是不想處理整件事的時候。但我也對我們身體的奇蹟感到驚訝。月經是一個真正非凡的自然循環，將所有女性聯繫在一起。

I can now look back on my first period and smile. I am no longer embarrassed about menstruation. In fact, I was delighted to discover that the best way to get rid of an annoying boy is to launch into an in-depth discussion about the female menstrual cycle! I have come to realize that while society sometimes makes menstruation seem dirty and taboo, there is nothing wrong with us.
我現在可以回顧我的第一次月經並微笑。我不再因為月經而感到尷尬了。事實上，我很高興地發現擺脫煩人男孩的最佳方法就是深入討論女性月經週期！我開始意識到，雖然社會有時會讓月經看起來骯髒和禁忌，但我們並沒有什麼問題。

I know that one day I will celebrate my passage into menopause just as I endured my passage through puberty. I also know that our lives are all about cycles and changes. I will not let society tell me what is right and what is wrong. I will celebrate my life as I know nature intended.
我知道有一天我會慶祝我進入更年期，就像我經歷青春期一樣。我也知道，我們的生活充滿了循環和變化。我不會讓社會告訴我什麼是對的，什麼是錯的。我將慶祝我的生活，因為我知道大自然的意圖。

~JENNIFER, 22, STUDENT
~JENNIFER，22 歲，學生

Today You Are a Woman
今天你是個女人

There I was, dressed in my can-can slips, hot-starched and ironed under a spotless dress. I was the kind of little black girl who loved to dress up, but also enjoyed fishing, hanging from the willow tree, and shooting marbles with the boys. On this day I was just about to win another cat-eye marble when my mother called out, "Heifer, come on in here!" I couldn't imag-
我就在那裡，穿著一塵不染的裙子，穿著熱漿熨燙過的康康舞裙。我是那種喜歡打扮的黑人小女孩，也喜歡釣魚、掛在柳樹上、和男孩們一起彈珠。這一天，我正要贏得另一個貓眼彈珠，這時媽媽喊道：“小母牛，快進來！”我無法想像——

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ine what I had done to be called "heifer." A heifer is a grown-up female cow. I hadn't stolen anything, the dishes were washed, and my homework was done. I got up from my squatting position and went into the house.
我所做的就是被稱為“小母牛”。小母牛是一頭成年母牛。我沒有偷東西，碗也洗好了，作業也做完了。我從蹲著的位置站起來，進了屋。

Momma paraded me to the bathroom, stopping only to reach into the mysterious box she kept in the hall closet. She pulled out a sanitary napkin and an elastic belt with metal clamps. Momma handed me these things, pushed me into the bathroom and said, "Do what you supposed to do!"
媽媽把我帶到浴室，停下來只是把手伸進她放在大廳壁櫥裡的神秘盒子裡。她拿出一條衛生棉和一條有金屬夾的鬆緊帶。媽媽把這些東西遞給我，把我推進衛生間，說：“做你該做的事吧！”

What was I supposed to do? I stood there looking at the napkin and the belt and then I remembered. There had been rumors among the girls at school that something went on underneath big girls' dresses that didn't go on under mine. An older girl had told me that it would happen to me some day, but I doubted it.
我該做什麼？我站在那裡看著餐巾和腰帶，然後我想起來了。學校裡的女孩們有傳言說，大女孩的裙子下面有一些東西，而我的裙子下面卻沒有。一個年長的女孩告訴我，有一天這會發生在我身上，但我對此表示懷疑。

Now, at ten years old, it was happening to me. Nervously, I pulled my white shorts down and found myself soaked in red. Then I remembered all of the rumors... this was going to hurt, it was going to happen to me for a long time. It would make me sick.
現在，我十歲了，這件事就發生在我身上。我緊張地拉下白色短褲，發現自己全身都是紅色。然後我想起了所有的謠言……這會傷害我，這會發生在我身上很長一段時間。這會讓我噁心。

I attached the pad to the belt, and stepped into the contraption like a pair of pants. I wrapped a towel around my bottom and rinsed the rich red stains from my clothing. In fear, I put on a new pair of shorts and went back outside.
我把墊子綁在腰帶上，然後像穿褲子一樣走進這個裝置。我用毛巾裹住屁股，沖掉衣服上的紅色污漬。我害怕極了，穿上一條新短褲，又回到了外面。

I tried hard to act as if nothing had happened.
我努力裝作若無其事的樣子。

During the next few weeks I asked for explanations about what was
在接下來的幾周里，我請他解釋什麼是

happening to me. The only thing I heard was, "You are a woman now." How on earth could I be a woman now? What happened to being a girl? What happened to adolescence? Excuse me? I was a woman? What exactly did that mean?
發生在我身上。我唯一聽到的是：“你現在是個女人了。”我現在到底怎麼能成為一個女人？身為女孩怎麼了？青春期怎麼了？打擾一下？我本來就是個女人？這到底是什麼意思？

It meant lots of warnings: "Don't take a tub bath or wash your hair when it's that time." "Don't climb trees." "Don't wear light colors." "If you don't stop playing with the little boys you'll get pregnant." It was all very confusing and scary.
這意味著很多警告：“這個時候不要洗澡或洗頭。” “不要爬樹。” “不要穿淺色衣服。” “如果你不停止和小男孩玩耍，你就會懷孕。”這一切都非常令人困惑和可怕。

I wish that I'd had a community of women back then to help me understand what was happening to my body and my mind. I wish there had been some kind of school or community program to help me process
我希望當時有一個女性社群來幫助我了解我的身體和思想發生了什麼事。我希望有某種學校或社區計劃來幫助我處理

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the changes. I really could have used an honest conversation about the meaning of menstruation and womanhood. I might have listened.
的變化。我真的可以誠實地談論月經和女性的意義。我可能聽過。

Because of my own experiences, I have learned to listen to young women when they talk. We must begin to honor this process of becoming a woman.
由於我自己的經歷，我學會了傾聽年輕女性的對話。我們必須開始尊重成為女性的這個過程。

~ LUISAH, 50
〜路易莎，50 歲

All Night Long
整夜

I was thirteen when I first got my period. I had been babysitting for a young couple who stayed out very late that night. All through the evening and into the night, painful cramps came and went. I was bewildered and frightened and wondered if I was sick. I waited anxiously for the parents to come back. It was 2:00 A.M. when they finally took me home. I entered my house quietly and got ready for bed. When I went to the bathroom, I saw bright red blood in my underwear. I stood and stared for a long time, transfixed. It was exciting, but I still felt scared.
我第一次來月經時才十三歲。我一直在照顧一對年輕夫婦，他們那天晚上在外面待得很晚。整個晚上一直到深夜，痛苦的痙攣來來去去。我感到困惑和害怕，懷疑自己是不是生病了。我焦急地等待父母的歸來。當他們終於把我帶回家時，已經是凌晨 2:00 了。我悄悄地進了屋，準備睡覺。當我去洗手間時，我看到內褲上有鮮紅色的血。我站在那裡，凝視了很久，我驚呆了。這很令人興奮，但我仍然感到害怕。

I woke up my older sister and showed her my underwear. She seemed as amazed as I was, but took charge in a wonderful way. She got up and showed me how to use sanitary napkins and talked to me in a loving voice.
我叫醒了姐姐，給她看了我的內褲。她看起來和我一樣感到驚訝，但以一種奇妙的方式掌控一切。她站起來，教我如何使用衛生棉，並用慈愛的聲音和我說話。

Then the best moment came. She told me that it was a very special night in my life and that I should sleep with her. All night long she held me in her arms, and during that quiet and sleepless night, I felt the stirrings of the woman inside of me. I felt the blood flowing from my body, and felt safe, loved, and honored by my sister.
然後最好的時刻來了。她告訴我，這是我生命中非常特別的夜晚，我應該和她一起睡。整個晚上她都把我摟在懷裡，在那個安靜的不眠之夜，我感受到了我內心那個女人的騷動。我感覺到血液從我的身體裡流出來，感受到姊姊的安全、愛和尊重。

Even though there was a lot of abuse and violence in my family, some things turned out just right.
儘管我的家庭裡有很多虐待和暴力，但有些事情結果還是不錯的。

~TESS, 46, THERAPIST,
~TESS，46 歲，治療師，

MOTHER OF TWO SONS
兩個兒子的母親

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Sometimes the "perfect moment" for you to talk about menstruation is not the right time for your mother. (It also works the other way around...you may not feel ready to hear what your mother wants to share!) In this story, a young French girl realizes that such a moment has passed.
有時，你談論月經的「最佳時機」對你的母親來說並不合適。 （反之亦然……你可能還沒準備好聽你媽媽想分享的內容！） 在這個故事中，一個年輕的法國女孩意識到這樣的時刻已經過去了。

Naiveté
天真

One day when I was nine years old, I went for a walk in my very small French village and met my neighbor. She was squatting with her skirts gathered above her knees as she tended to the needs of her toddler. I couldn't help but catch a glimpse of her underwear, and I saw that they were soaked with blood. I ran home and told the story to my mother and grandmother, who were mending some clothes by the kitchen window. To my dismay, they laughed uncontrollably at my story. Between bursts of laughter, they told me that I must have been dreaming…..the underwear was simply stained. I repeated my story, but they kept on laughing.
當我九歲的時候，有一天，我去我的法國小村莊散步，遇到了我的鄰居。她蹲著，把裙子攏到膝蓋以上，照顧孩子的需要。我忍不住看了一眼她的內衣，只見裡面已經沾滿了血。我跑回家，把這個故事告訴了正在廚房窗邊補衣服的母親和祖母。令我沮喪的是，他們對我的故事情不自禁地大笑起來。在陣陣笑聲中，他們告訴我，我一定是在做夢……內衣只是被弄髒了。我重複了我的故事，但他們還是繼續笑。

I felt confused and misunderstood. At that time in France, talking about anything to do with the genital area or bodily functions was taboo. We never discussed it again. Looking back, I now see that this would have been the perfect opportunity for my elders to teach me about menstrua- tion.
我感到困惑和誤解。當時在法國，談論任何與生殖器區域或身體功能有關的事情都是禁忌。我們再也沒有討論過這個問題。現在回想起來，我發現這對我的長輩來說是一個絕佳的機會來教我月經的知識。

~ NADINE, 39, MOTHER OF THREE
~ 納丁，39 歲，三個孩子的母親

Leeches!
水蛭！

It all happened shortly after I had gotten my first period. I was working at a camp for girls in New Hampshire, and enjoyed swimming in the beautiful lake. About halfway through the season, the lake was besieged by leeches. Everyone seemed to delight in relating the latest gruesome tales of campers who had emerged from the lake with leeches fastened to their bodies, blood dripping freely. The only thing that killed the leeches was salt.
這一切都發生在我第一次月經來臨後不久。我當時在新罕布夏州的一個女孩營地工作，很喜歡在美麗的湖裡游泳。季節過半左右，湖裡就被水蛭圍困了。每個人似乎都很高興講述最新的可怕故事，這些露營者從湖裡出來，身上綁著水蛭，鮮血不斷地滴落。唯一能殺死水蛭的是鹽。

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One day I went swimming and was horrified when I changed back into my clothes and saw blood dripping down my inner thigh. "Leeches!" I exclaimed to my sister. We ran to the kitchen, and I frantically started throwing salt in the area of my private parts. In the midst of all the panic, my sister gently said, "Wasn't it about this time last month when you got your period?"
有一天，我去游泳，當我換回衣服時，看到血順著大腿內側滴下來，我感到非常震驚。 “水蛭！”我對姐姐驚呼。我們跑到廚房，我瘋狂地開始往我的私處撒鹽。慌亂之中，姐姐輕輕地說：“你不是上個月這個時候來月經的嗎？”

I stopped and thought for a second. Ah! She was right! She still reminds me of this story today!
我停下來想了一會兒。啊!她是對的！她今天仍然讓我想起這個故事！

~ ANNE, 46
〜安妮，46

A girl's first period usually arrives between the ages of eleven and fourteen, but it can also show up a lot earlier or much later. You may be at the older end of the spectrum, waiting and wondering when your period will begin, while all of your friends have already been menstruating for years. Maybe you were the first of your friends to experience this, and now feel out of place because no one else really understands what it's all about.
女孩的第一次月經通常在十一歲到十四歲之間到來，但也可能出現得更早或更晚。您可能處於年齡較大的階段，等待並想知道您的月經何時開始，而您所有的朋友已經月經多年了。也許您是第一個經歷過這種情況的朋友，但現在卻感到格格不入，因為沒有人真正理解這一切。

No Period. Period.
無經期。時期。

My friend Margaret's big sister didn't get her period until she was seventeen. She was a senior, so I was afraid to ask her about it. I was fifteen and desperate. No breasts, no pubic hair. No period, period. I pretended to have cramps, carried pads and the other paraphernalia of puberty, and lived in constant fear of being exposed for the impostor that I was. I stuffed my bra with toilet paper and smiled knowingly during "girl-talk." I hid my growing panic that I was a freak. I would be the only girl who never physically matured into a woman.
我朋友瑪格麗特的姊姊直到十七歲才來月經。她是大四生，所以我不敢問她這件事。我當時十五歲，很絕望。沒有乳房，沒有陰毛。沒有期，期。我假裝抽筋，帶著護墊和其他青春期用具，一直活在害怕被揭露的騙子身分中。我在胸罩裡塞滿了衛生紙，在「女孩談話」時會心一笑。我隱藏了自己日益增長的恐慌，認為自己是個怪人。我將是唯一一個身體上從未成熟為女人的女孩。

Sixteen changed all that. My period came. But large breasts and body confidence did not come with the package. Surprise, surprise....
十六改變了這一切。我的月經來了。但大胸部和身材自信並沒有隨之而來。驚喜，驚喜…

~ REBECCA, 49
〜麗貝卡，49 歲

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Not Ready
未準備好

I was nine when I got my period for the very first time. Only nine. I still felt like a girl in every way, and suddenly there was this part of me that said, "You are a woman now." I told my mom, but nobody else. My best friend doesn't even know! I really don't like this at all, and it bugs me when I hear other girls wishing they had it.
我第一次來月經時才九歲。只有九個。我仍然在各方面都感覺自己像個女孩，突然間我的這一部分說：“你現在是個女人了。”我告訴了我媽媽，但沒有告訴其他人。我最好的朋友都不知道！我真的一點也不喜歡這個，當我聽到其他女孩希望擁有它時，我感到很煩惱。

~ MARTA, 11
〜瑪塔，11 歲

When You Don't Menstruate
當你沒有月經的時候

Menstruation is a very integral part of womanhood, but it is important to know that there are some women who never menstruate. I have many medical problems that interfere with my ability to ovulate, menstruate, or bear children. As a teenager, I often pretended that I had my period just to fit in. I even remember buying tampons when I was downtown with some friends, just so they would think that I was "normal." After many years of wrestling with my feelings of loss about my infertility and my perceptions about my own femininity, I have come to see that my feminine energy is just as deep as any other woman's. I simply need to remind myself of that fact since I don't have the monthly blessing of a moon cycle to help me remember that I am a woman.
月經是女性不可或缺的一部分，但重要的是要知道有些女性從不月經。我有許多健康問題，這些問題會影響我的排卵、月經或生育能力。十幾歲的時候，我經常假裝自己來月經只是為了適應。經過多年與不孕症的失落感和對自己女性氣質的看法進行鬥爭後，我開始發現我的女性能量和其他女性一樣深厚。我只需要提醒自己這個事實，因為我沒有每月一次的月亮週期的祝福來幫助我記住我是一個女人。

~ ANONYMOUS, 20
~ 匿名，20

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The following are examples of simple celebrations and rituals that families have either created or passed down from generation to generation as ways to celebrate a girl's first menstruation. You may want to work with your family or friends to elaborate on an idea you find here, creating a celebration of your own menarche.
以下是家庭創建或代代相傳的簡單慶祝活動和儀式的示例，作為慶祝女孩第一次月經的方式。您可能想與您的家人或朋友一起詳細闡述您在這裡找到的想法，慶祝您自己的初潮。

Celebrations and Rituals
慶祝活動和儀式

"When I got my first period. I remember my father coming home with a beautiful yellow rose. There were not a lot of words shared, just a knowing glance and a warm hug."
「當我第一次來月經時。我記得父親帶著一朵美麗的黃玫瑰回家。沒有太多的言語，只有一個會意的眼神和一個溫暖的擁抱。”

"My mother and older sister gave me a bracelet when my period first started. It was engraved with a leaf design to symbolize new life, since I had joined the sisterhood of women who could bring new life into the world. The bracelet and blessings were passed on to my daughter when she joined the sisterhood."
「當我第一次來月經時，我的母親和姐姐給了我一個手鐲。它刻有葉子圖案，象徵著新生命，因為我加入了可以為世界帶來新生命的女性姐妹會。手鐲和祝福是當我女兒加入姐妹會時，她就遺傳給了她。

"When I first started menstruating, my mother and father drew a hot bath for me. There were candles and music, and time for me to be alone."
“當我第一次來月經時，我的父母給我泡了一個熱水澡。有蠟燭和音樂，還有我獨處的時間。”

"In our family, when a girl first gets her period, she goes with our mom and picks out a new outfit."
“在我們家裡，當女孩第一次來月經時，她會和媽媽一起去挑選一套新衣服。”

"My mother gathered a circle of her closest friends together at our home one night. By candlelight, each woman shared what it meant to her be a woman."
“有一天晚上，我的母親在家裡聚集了一群她最親密的朋友。每個女人在燭光下分享了作為一個女人對她意味著什麼。”

"I finally got to pierce my ears!"
「我終於可以打耳洞了！」

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"My mom wrote me a beautiful story about when a girl becomes a woman. I will keep it and give it to my daughter some day."
「我媽媽給我寫了一個關於女孩如何成為女人的美麗故事。我會保留它，有一天會把它送給我的女兒。”

"In Puerto Rico, when a girl begins menstruating, everyone says, "The rooster has crowed!" It means, "It's a new day. A girl has become a woman."
「在波多黎各，當一個女孩開始月經時，每個人都會說：『公雞打鳴了！一個女孩變成了一個女人。

"My mother gave me a shawl that had belonged to my great-grandmother."
“我媽媽給了我一條屬於我曾祖母的披肩。”

"My parents never really acknowledged my passage from girlhood into womanhood, so when I went off to college, my friends and I created our own ceremony."
“我的父母從來沒有真正承認我從少女時代進入了女性時代，所以當我上大學時，我和我的朋友們創造了我們自己的儀式。”

"My aunt gave me a little leather pouch that I sometimes wear around my neck. Inside it are things that are special to just me, and it reminds me of who I am.”
「我姑姑給了我一個小皮袋，我有時會把它掛在脖子上。裡面裝的東西對我來說很特別，它讓我想起我是誰。”

On the pages that follow, several women explore more deeply the meaning that menstruation has in their lives...
在接下來的幾頁中，幾位女性更深入地探討了月經對她們生活的意義…

Why Is It Such a Big Deal?
為什麼這麼重要？

For most of my life, menstruation was a big deal only because it meant physical discomfort and inconvenience. In my thirties, I began to notice the recurring pattern of frustration, impatience, and irritation with others before my period started; typical PMS symptoms. After attending a workshop with Tamara Slayton, the founder of the Menstrual Health Foundation, I began to look at my cycle in a new way.
在我生命的大部分時間裡，月經只是一件大事，因為它意味著身體不適和不便。在我三十多歲的時候，我開始注意到在月經開始之前反覆出現的沮喪、不耐煩和對他人的惱怒的模式；典型的經前症候群症狀。在參加了月經健康基金會創始人 Tamara Slayton 的研討會後，我開始以新的方式看待我的週期。

As women, we experience a natural cycle. It is guided by the rhythms in our bodies, in nature, and in each other. I now realize that as menstruation draws near, this rhythm calls me inward to consider the aspects of my life that are not working. It is a time to look at the dark parts of my
身為女性，我們經歷一個自然週期。它受到我們身體、自然以及彼此之間的節奏的引導。我現在意識到，隨著月經的臨近，這種節奏讓我向內思考我生活中不起作用的方面。是時候看看我內心黑暗的部分了

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soul and to face the negativity that I hold onto. It is usually not an easy time for me, because I resist taking the time to truly be just me.
靈魂並面對我所持有的負面情緒。這對我來說通常不是一個輕鬆的時刻，因為我拒絕花時間真正做我自己。

It is important for us to stop and listen. By choosing to be open and receptive in silence, we not only begin to heal ourselves, but we also gain wisdom from the spiritual world. I believe that our collective work as women is to try to change the world with our love. We are given the opportunity every month to receive strength and direction for this task. A big deal? You bet it is!
對我們來說，停下來傾聽很重要。透過選擇在沉默中開放和接受，我們不僅開始治癒自己，而且還從精神世界中獲得智慧。我相信，我們身為女性的集體工作就是努力用我們的愛改變世界。我們每個月都有機會獲得完成這項任務的力量和指導。有什麼大不了的？你打賭是的！

~ BEVERLY, 40, WIFE, MOTHER, MUSIC TEACHER
~ BEVERLY，40 歲，妻子、母親、音樂老師

Paper or Plastic?
紙還是塑膠？

Standing at the end of the thirty-foot feminine hygiene aisle at my local grocery store, I am overwhelmed. Super, slender, self-adhesive, mini, maxi, deodorant, pink, blue, biodegradable, all-natural, washable, flush- able, junior, plastic, portable, stay-free pads. Whew! I have a lot of choices, and I am...thankful.
站在當地雜貨店三十英尺長的女性衛生通道的盡頭，我不知所措。超級、纖細、自黏、迷你、大、除臭、粉紅色、藍色、可生物降解、純天然、可水洗、可沖水、初級、塑膠、便攜式、免停留墊。哇！我有很多選擇，我……很感激。

As you become a woman, you have many choices about how to care for your body and how you view menstruation. Some of us are fortunate to be born into families or communities that see menstruation in a way that fits for us. But if you were not, it is important to remember that there are at least as many ways to learn about, experience, and celebrate your first period as there are feminine hygiene products at your local grocery store.
當您成為女性時，您對於如何照顧自己的身體以及如何看待月經有很多選擇。我們中的一些人很幸運，出生在以適合我們的方式看待月經的家庭或社區。但如果您沒有，請務必記住，了解、體驗和慶祝第一次月經的方式至少與當地雜貨店出售的女性衛生用品一樣多。

~ BUNNY, 39
~ 兔子，39 歲

Mother Material
母材

Menstruation is a big deal for a lot of reasons. It means that you are now "mother material." For the first time in your life, you are physically able to make a baby, and that is a big responsibility. When you begin to menstruate, you can begin to take charge of your own body and your life in new ways.
由於多種原因，月經是一件大事。這意味著你現在是「母親材料」。這是您一生中第一次，在身體上能夠生育孩子，這是一項重大責任。當您開始月經時，您可以開始以新的方式掌控自己的身體和生活。

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I was shocked when in ninth grade, my teacher passed out information about Planned Parenthood. I remember thinking, "Who is planning to be a parent now?" The answer is that probably none of my school friends had thought anything about it. Maybe that's why a couple of them were pregnant at thirteen. Remember, you can make adult decisions about your body.
當我九年級時，我的老師分發了有關計劃生育的信息，我感到很震驚。我記得當時我在想：“現在誰打算成為父母？”答案是，我的學校朋友可能都沒有想過這個問題。也許這就是為什麼他們中的一些人在十三歲時就懷孕了。請記住，您可以對自己的身體做出成人決定。

Back Down to Earth
回到地球

~ ANDREA, 30, SWITZERLAND
~ 安德烈亞，30 歲，瑞士

I appreciate my menstrual cycle because it keeps me in touch with my body. Sometimes I fly around in my hectic life, ignoring the internal, physical reality of this body that I live in. Then in a split second, a red spot on my underwear reminds me that I am not in control of everything. I am a female animal with a natural, internal rhythm more powerful than my date book filled with appointments. My menstrual cycle brings me back down to earth.
我很欣賞我的月經週期，因為它讓我與自己的身體保持聯繫。有時我在忙碌的生活中飛來飛去，忽略了我所居住的這個身體的內部物理現實。 然後在一瞬間，我的內衣上的一個紅點提醒我，我無法控制一切。我是一隻雌性動物，有一種自然的、內在的節奏，比我寫滿約會的約會簿更有力量。我的月經週期讓我回歸現實。

~ ANONYMOUS, 38
~ 匿名，38 歲

Here is a collection of short quotes reflecting the more humorous side to this whole business of menstruation. You may find that keeping your sense of humor really helps ease the discomfort that menstruation can sometimes bring....
這是一系列簡短的引言，反映了整個月經事件更幽默的一面。您可能會發現保持幽默感確實有助於緩解月經有時帶來的不適...

The Lighter Side
輕鬆的一面

"I remember asking my Mom if nuns got periods, too."
“我記得問我媽媽修女們是否也有月經。”

"I'll never forget the day I went into my daughter's room and saw mini pads stuck inside her sneakers.
「我永遠不會忘記那天我走進女兒的房間，看到迷你墊卡在她的運動鞋裡。

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Later, I discovered that she thought they were deodorant inserts for shoes."
後來我發現她以為那是鞋子的除臭墊。

"I have a friend who dresses up like PMS every Hal- loween. She even wears tampons for earrings!"
“我有一個朋友，每個萬聖節都打扮得像經前綜合症。她甚至用衛生棉條戴耳環！”

"Once when I saw a quote on a box of maxi pads that said, 'Now with more adhesive.' I asked my mom. 'Doesn't that hurt when you pull it off?' I thought you stuck the pad right to your body! Mom gently explained the proper way to use them."
「有一次，我在一盒超長護墊上看到一句話，上面寫著：『現在用更多的黏合劑。’我問媽媽，“拔下來的時候不痛嗎？”我以為你把墊子貼在身上了呢！ 媽媽輕輕地解釋了正確的使用方法。

"I have a male friend who was in a coed health class in fifth grade. The boys and the girls all heard the 'Getting Your Period' lecture together. Almost thirty years later, my friend finally disclosed a long-held secret. He had been really worried when he still hadn't gotten his period by age fourteen!"
「我有一個男性朋友，他在五年級的男女混合健康課上。男孩和女孩都一起聽了'來月經'的講座。差不多三十年後，我的朋友終於透露了一個長期保守的秘密。他當他十四歲了還沒來月經的時候真的很擔心！

"The first time I ever tried to use a tampon, I went through an entire box just trying to get one in."
“我第一次嘗試使用衛生棉條時，我翻遍了整個盒子，只是想把一個放進去。”

"I used to think getting your period meant that you bled constantly for five days straight! No stopping: just bleeding all the time. I wondered how I was supposed to sleep at night, and how I would ever stop this wild flow long enough to change my pad. Your mind can really wander when you don't have the facts straight!"
「我曾經認為來月經意味著連續五天不斷流血！無法停止：只是一直流血。我想知道我晚上應該如何睡覺，以及如何才能停止這種瘋狂的流血足夠長的時間當你不了解事實時，你的思想真的會走神！

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★★★★

CCC⭑

More Than
多於

You Learned in
你學到了

Health
健康

Class
班級

Sexuality, Sensuality. and First Loves
性慾、肉慾。和初戀

T here is more to the topic of sex than you've learned in health class...more than you've learned on TV, in magazines, or from your friends and parents. As a young woman today, it may be challenging to come to terms with your own sexuality. Our culture does not have clearly defined rules about sex, and the messages we get can be really confusing. It's up to us to make sense out of it all.
關於性的話題，比你在健康課上學到的還要多……比你在電視、雜誌或從朋友和父母那裡學到的還要多。作為當今的年輕女性，接受自己的性取向可能具有挑戰性。我們的文化對於性沒有明確的規定，我們得到的訊息可能非常令人困惑。我們有責任去理解這一切。

Your sexuality isn't born when you decide to have sex with someone. Your sexuality belongs to you now. Romance, passion, and sensuality are powerful parts of womanhood. In this chapter, you will hear women and girls talk candidly about everything from first kisses to losing their virginity. They share ways in which their sexuality is part of their whole selves...part of their personalities, their physical selves, and their spirituality.
當你決定與某人發生性關係時，你的性取向並不是與生俱來的。你的性現在屬於你了。浪漫、激情和性感是女性氣質的重要組成部分。在本章中，您將聽到婦女和女孩坦誠地談論從初吻到失去童貞的一切。他們分享了自己的性取向是他們整個自我的一部分……他們的個性、身體和靈性的一部分。

This is not a reference book on sexuality! We don't expect you to find clear answers in the following pages, but we hope that these stories will stretch your understanding of sexuality and help you begin to ask good questions. One of the secrets to a healthy and rewarding sense of sexuality is getting the information you need. Maybe this chapter can be a place to start.
這不是一本關於性的參考書！我們並不期望您在接下來的幾頁中找到明確的答案，但我們希望這些故事能擴展您對性的理解，並幫助您開始提出好的問題。獲得健康且有益的性感覺的秘訣之一就是獲取所需的資訊。也許本章可以作為一個起點。

7

131

Something's Changing
有些事情正在改變

Something is different inside of me, and it doesn't have anything to do with my growing breasts, getting pubic hair, or the fact that I got my period last summer. I learned about that stuff in health class and from my mom. This is different.
我的內心有些不一樣了，這與我不斷增長的乳房、長出陰毛或我去年夏天來月經的事實無關。我在健康課上和從我媽媽那裡學到了這些。這是不同的。

It's like I feel more now. I know it sounds weird, but I get more excited about things, I worry more than I used to, and my imagination goes crazy sometimes. I have fantasies about everything from kissing guys to running away from home. I think about sex, and I daydream about having babies. I mean, actually having babies. Like, what will it feel like to give birth?
好像我現在更有感覺了。我知道這聽起來很奇怪，但我對事情變得更興奮，我比以前更擔心，而且我的想像有時會變得瘋狂。我對一切都有幻想，從接吻男人到離家出走。我想到性，夢想著生孩子。我的意思是，實際上生孩子了。比如，生孩子會是什麼感覺？

I have a wicked crush on my soccer coach. He's a college guy and he's gorgeous and I think about him all the time. Actually, I think about boys a lot, and wonder if any boys like me. I spend a ton of time getting ready in the morning, and I am always late for the bus. I look at myself in the mirror a lot. It's strange, because last spring I never really cared what I looked like. Now I do.
我對我的足球教練有一種邪惡的迷戀。他是一名大學生，他很漂亮，我一直在想他。其實我很想男生，不知道有沒有男生喜歡我。我早上花了很多時間做準備，但我總是遲到巴士。我經常照鏡子。這很奇怪，因為去年春天我從來沒有真正關心過自己的樣子。現在我知道了。

Part of me wishes these feelings would go away. It was easier when my mind didn't race around so much. But it is pretty exciting. Maybe it is my sexuality coming out. Something's changing!
我的一部分希望這些感覺能夠消失。當我的思緒不那麼亂轉時，事情就變得容易多了。但這是相當令人興奮的。也許是我的性取向暴露了。有些事情正在改變！

I Wonder
我想知道

~ ANONYMOUs, 16
~ 匿名者，16

When I look at a tiny little baby, I wonder about the time when I have one of my own. What will it be like to have a baby? I can't imagine pushing a life into the world.
當我看著一個小小的嬰兒時，我想知道我何時能擁有自己的孩子。生孩子會是什麼樣子？我無法想像將一個生命推向這個世界。

But, even weirder... I wonder what will it be like to make one in the first place? Oh, I know all of that stuff they taught us in school...the parts of the body and how they do this and do that. But the thought of a penis anywhere near my vagina makes me shiver. How could my parents have ever done that? I wonder if they still do it....
但是，更奇怪的是…我想知道首先製作一個會是什麼樣子？哦，我知道他們在學校教給我們的所有東西……身體的各個部分以及它們如何做這做那。但一想到陰莖靠近我的陰道就讓我顫抖。我的父母怎麼能這麼做呢？我想知道他們是否仍然這樣做......

I wonder when my feelings about sex will change. It seems so strange
我想知道我對性的感受什麼時候會改變。看起來好奇怪

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to me now. I am starting to look at guys differently, and think about kissing a lot. I hope that by the time I have to make a decision about sex, I will feel ready. I wonder when that will be....
現在對我來說。我開始以不同的方式看待男人，並且經常考慮接吻。我希望當我必須做出關於性的決定時，我會感到準備好了。我想知道那會是什麼時候...

~ MIKKO, 12
~ 米科，12 歲

The next two stories were written by women who recall the time when they began to notice their budding sexuality.
接下來的兩個故事是由女性寫的，她們回憶起她們開始注意到自己萌芽的性慾的時候。

The Rope Swing
鞦韆繩

Jill and I never play with dolls any more. Jill likes to play with the boys. She has that same bad way about her that Bobby and Scott have. Jill wishes she were a boy.
吉爾和我再也不玩洋娃娃了。吉爾喜歡和男孩們一起玩。她的缺點和鮑比和斯科特一樣。吉爾希望她是個男孩。

Scott has a rope swing, and I rush through my dinner because I know they'll all be there...Scott, and Bobby, and maybe Will. Maybe there will be some girls there, too. I am wearing a halter top that is a little too small now, and my brown legs are scratched and covered with mosquito bites.
史考特盪鞦韆，我匆匆吃完晚餐，因為我知道他們都會在那裡……史考特、鮑比，也許還有威爾。也許那裡也會有一些女孩。我現在穿的吊帶背心有點太小了，棕色的腿上有刮痕，佈滿了蚊蟲叮咬。

My parents are completely taken with me. I know this, and use it to get my way. Right now I want to be excused from dinner so I can play at Scott's rope swing. I know that they'll say yes, as I shovel in the peas. They've made a show of making me finish them, but they smile and say, "All right, go ahead and play, dear." My childlike excitement is valued more than the peas, so I pour it on.
我的父母完全支持我。我知道這一點，並用它來達到我的目的。現在我想不吃晚餐了，這樣我就可以去斯科特的鞦韆上玩了。當我鏟入豌豆時，我知道他們會答應。他們假裝要讓我完成它們，但他們微笑著說：“好吧，繼續玩吧，親愛的。”我的童心比豌豆更有價值，所以我把它倒了上去。

I slide like an otter into the cool thrill of after-dinner freedom. The neighborhood sinks into my skin. I have taken it on as an extension of my house. It all, of course, belongs to me. I can feel the rough warm pavement under my bare feet. I know that when I pass Will's house and make that turn around the bend, the sidewalk slabs will be smoother. I know where the acorns will be thick, and where I will need to cross to the other side of the street because they will hurt my feet. And then I will walk over a wide lawn shadowed by long rays of August sun to the gash in the hill behind Scott's backyard.
我像水獺一樣滑入餐後自由的涼爽快感中。鄰居深入我的皮膚。我把它當作我房子的延伸。當然，這一切都屬於我。我能感覺到赤腳下粗糙溫暖的路面。我知道當我經過威爾的房子並轉彎時，人行道石板會更光滑。我知道哪裡的橡實會很厚，也知道哪裡的橡實會傷到我的腳，所以我需要穿過馬路的另一邊。然後我會走過一片被八月長長的陽光遮蔽的寬闊草坪，來到斯科特後院後面山上的裂縫。

There, in the darkening light of the ravine, will hang the rope swing,
在那裡，在峽谷漸暗的光線下，將懸掛鞦韆繩，

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heavy and pungent with the ripe odor of sweaty hands. Boys' hands.
濃重而刺鼻，帶有汗手的成熟氣味。男孩的手。

I have started playing down here at Scott's only just this summer. Jill is the first to bring me to this end of the street. One day, Bobby and Scott take us up to "The Fort," a clubhouse above Scott's garage that is stocked with comic books and Playboy magazines. They let me in only because I am with Jill. They call me by my last name...exploding now and then in bursts of loud laughter that make me flinch, but at the same time fascinate me. Suddenly, without any warning, Bobby pulls down his pants. He shows us all his "wiener," hard and knobby like a hairless little mole.
我今年夏天才開始在史考特這裡打球。吉爾是第一個帶我到街道盡頭的人。有一天，鮑比和斯科特帶我們去了“堡壘”，這是斯科特車庫上方的一間俱樂部會所，裡面擺滿了漫畫書和花花公子雜誌。他們讓我進去只是因為我和吉爾在一起。他們用我的姓氏稱呼我……時不時地爆發出陣陣大笑聲，讓我退縮，但同時也讓我著迷。突然，在沒有任何警告的情況下，鮑比脫下了褲子。他向我們展示了他的“香腸”，堅硬而多節，就像一隻無毛的小鼴鼠。

"Go ahead, touch it," says Jill, smiling like it might as well be hers. So I touch it. Cold and wiggly, it feels like nothing I've ever felt before. I'm confused by all of this, and I giggle nervously as I watch him zip up his pants again. This is new territory...far away from my doll's tea set, my newborn kittens, and my pink bedroom.
「來吧，摸摸它，」吉爾微笑著說，好像它就是她的一樣。所以我觸摸它。冰冷而顫抖，這是我以前從未有過的感覺。我對這一切感到困惑，當我看著他再次拉上褲子拉鍊時，我緊張地咯咯笑。這是新的領域……遠離我娃娃的茶具、我的新生小貓和我的粉紅色臥室。

The rope swing is in full use at the moment. Jill is showing Martha how to get Bobby off of it by shoving her hand in his crotch. There is a lot of laughter about this. Martha is an "almost babe," meaning she's on the verge of having whatever it is her older sisters have... the stuff that draws boys to them. I am still a "goody-goody." No one knows what I am on the verge of.
繩索鞦韆目前已充分利用。吉爾正在向瑪莎展示如何通過將她的手伸進鮑比的胯部來擺脫鮑比。對此有很多笑聲。瑪莎是一個“幾乎是寶貝”，這意味著她即將擁有她姐姐所擁有的一切……那些吸引男孩的東西。我仍然是一個「好人」。沒有人知道我正處於什麼邊緣。

I am mostly ignored by the boys, which doesn't bother me too much, yet. At twelve years old, I am still in an "in-between place." I know that my lace curtains will flutter gently at my windows at night. I know I like to play with dolls, even though sometimes I don't want anyone to see me do it. I know I like to sing rhymes and songs, loud and long, as I play on the swing set in my own backyard. But when Bobby gooses me and hands me the rope, whooping out some idiot laugh, finally giving me the turn I've been too shy to ask for, I can't say a thing. For the first time in my life, a boy, this boy, is showing off for my benefit, and I have no voice whatsoever.
我大多被男孩們忽視，但這並沒有讓我太煩惱。十二歲的我仍然處於「中間位置」。我知道晚上我的蕾絲窗簾會在窗戶上輕輕飄動。我知道我喜歡玩洋娃娃，儘管有時我不想讓任何人看到我這樣做。我知道我喜歡在自家後院的鞦韆上玩耍時大聲而悠長地唱兒歌和歌曲。但當鮑比推倒我，把繩子遞給我，發出一些白痴般的笑聲，最後給了我一個我一直害羞而不敢要求的機會時，我什麼也說不出來。我一生中第一次有一個男孩，這個男孩，為了我的利益而炫耀，而我卻沒有任何聲音。

I wrap my legs warmly around the fat, hard knot on the end of the rope, and let the red earth flush past below me. I fly out long and slow over the steep ravine. When I swing back, Bobby catches the bottom of the rope to steady me. He puts his hand on my back to help me get off, looks me straight in the eye, and with half a smile whispers quietly in my
我用雙腿溫暖地纏住繩子末端又肥又硬的結，讓紅土從我身下衝過。我在陡峭的峽谷上空緩慢而漫長地飛翔。當我向後擺動時，鮑比抓住繩子的底部來穩定我。他把手放在我的背上幫我下車，直視我的眼睛，半微笑著在我的耳邊輕聲耳語。

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ear, "You okay?" His kindness surprises me, almost as much as the thick heat I feel within my body. I scramble back up the hill to a safe spot to watch. I am, at this present moment, content just to watch, knowing however, somewhere in my gut, that it may not always be so. No, deep in my body, I know for sure that it will not always be so.
耳朵：“你還好吧？”他的善意讓我驚訝，幾乎和我體內感受到的濃熱一樣令人驚訝。我爬回山上，到一個安全的地方觀看。此時此刻，我只是滿足於觀看，但我內心深處知道，情況可能並不總是如此。不，在我的身體深處，我確信不會永遠如此。

~ DEB, 42, REMEMBERING 12
~ DEB，42 歲，記得 12

A Woman Is...
一個女人是...

When I was about thirteen, interesting things started to happen to me. My skin seemed to tingle more than usual, and the sun felt stronger on the back of my neck. Sometimes a ripple of warmth ran up my back and down my navel, calling attention to the space between my legs. I became moody and drifted off into sensual dreams. Sometimes I didn't hear people talking to me.
當我十三歲左右時，有趣的事情開始發生在我身上。我的皮膚似乎比平常更刺痛，脖子後面的陽光也更強烈。有時一股溫暖的漣漪從我的背上流過我的肚臍，讓我注意到我雙腿之間的空間。我變得喜怒無常，陷入了感性的夢境。有時我聽不到別人跟我說話。

I began to pay more attention to the married couples in the neighborhood. When the adults spoke, I stood quietly by, eavesdropping in hopes of getting a little more information about what it meant to be "a woman." Among themselves, the adults spoke of sexuality in humorous tones, cracking jokes and telling secrets about each other's lives. It was a different story when it came to me. My body hair and bouncing breasts created a worrisome response from the adults in the community. At thirteen, I was no longer the "cute little black girl in petticoats." Now men looked at me and lowered their eyes. The women shook their heads in disgust. For many years, people talked at me, but nobody talked to me. Consequently, I got into a lot of trouble trying to figure out what it meant to be a woman.
我開始更加關注附近的已婚夫婦。當大人們說話時，我靜靜地站在一旁，偷聽，希望能得到更多關於「女人」意味著什麼的資訊。大人們之間用幽默的語氣談論性、開玩笑並講述彼此生活的秘密。對我來說，情況就不同了。我的體毛和彈跳的乳房引起了社區成年人的擔憂。十三歲時，我不再是那個「穿著襯裙的可愛黑人小女孩」。現在人們看著我，低下了眼睛。女人們厭惡地搖頭。多年來，人們在談論我，但沒有人跟我說話。因此，我在試圖弄清楚作為一個女人意味著什麼時遇到了很多麻煩。

This is what I have learned...look for women you feel comfortable talking with about what it means to be a female. Take charge of finding the answers you need, even if the adults in your life at the present time are not open to discussing issues like sexuality. Look for programs, resources, and communities where you can be yourself and get the answers you're looking for.
這就是我學到的……尋找那些能讓你感到自在地談論女性意味著什麼的女性。即使你現在生活中的成年人不願意討論性等問題，也要負責找出你需要的答案。尋找您可以做自己並獲得所需答案的計劃、資源和社區。

- LUISAH, SPIRIT WOMAN,
- 路易莎，精神女人，

HALF A CENTURY ON THE EARTH
地球上的半世紀

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You are the expert on your own sexuality. When you think of sex, what comes to mind? Here are some thoughts from the girls we have met while writing this book....
您是自己性取向的專家。當你想到性時，你會想到什麼？以下是我們在寫這本書時遇到的女孩的一些想法...

When I think of sex, I think of...
當我想到性時，我會想到...

"Bonding with another person." -age 17
“與另一個人建立聯繫。” -17歲

"Fantasies. Ahhhh!" -age 15
“幻想。啊啊啊！” -15歲

"Close skin." -age 16
“緊貼肌膚。” -16歲

"Hard decisions." -age 9
“艱難的決定。” -9歲

"Being intimate with the one I love." -age 12
“與我所愛的人保持親密關係。” -12歲

"I hope it doesn't hurt too much." -age 15
“我希望不會太痛。” -15歲

"Something I am just learning about." -age 10
“我剛剛學習的東西。” -10歲

"Touching, hugging, exploring." -age 14
“觸摸、擁抱、探索。” -14歲

"Fun." -age 17
“樂趣。” -17歲

"Appreciating and loving one's self." -age 20
“欣賞和愛自己。” -20歲

"Slimy, sexy, hot." -age 17
「黏糊糊的、性感的、火辣的。」 -17歲

"Heavy breathing." -age 18
“呼吸粗重。” -18歲

"I don't know." -age 12
“我不知道。” -12歲

"Two people kissing in a bed." -age 13
“兩個人在床上接吻。” -13歲

"Feeling scared." -age 11
“感覺害怕。” -11歲

"Naked bodies, touching." -age 11
“赤裸的身體，觸碰。” -11歲

"Candles, kissing, taking off my clothes." -age 14
“蠟燭，接吻，脫掉我的衣服。” -14歲

"I can't believe that I will actually do that someday!" -age 9
“我不敢相信有一天我真的會這麼做！” -9歲

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When we ask women what comes up when they think about sex, we get a huge variety of answers. Many women talk about their own personal physical sensations and feelings. For them, their sexuality grows out of the fertile ground of their sensuality....
當我們詢問女性當她們想到性時會想到什麼時，我們會得到各種各樣的答案。許多女性談論她們自己的個人身體感覺和感受。對他們來說，他們的性慾是從他們的感性的沃土中生長出來的...

Sensuality
性感

Exploring sensuality is a great way to get to know what is going on inside you and what gives you pleasure. You can expand your sensuality by exploring each of the five senses in ways like these:
探索性感是了解你內心正在發生什麼以及什麼會帶給你快樂的好方法。您可以透過以下方式探索五種感官中的每一種來擴展您的性感：

Touch. Rub a smooth stone on your skin. Stroke yourself with a feather. Walk out in the rain without a coat. Your skin is your greatest sense organ. Listen to it. Notice what fabrics feel great on your body, and wear them.
觸碰。在皮膚上擦一塊光滑的石頭。用羽毛撫摸自己。雨天不穿外套就出門。您的皮膚是您最大的感覺器官。聽聽吧。注意哪些布料適合您的身體，然後穿上它們。

Sight. Gaze deeply into a starry night. Watch a fuzzy caterpillar crawling on the sidewalk. When you read magazines or look at art, what color combinations attract you? What colors soothe you? Make you feel great? Those are your healing colors. Wear colors that fit your mood.
視線。深深地凝視著繁星點點的夜晚。觀看一條毛茸茸的毛毛蟲在人行道上爬行。當您閱讀雜誌或欣賞藝術品時，什麼顏色組合會吸引您？什麼顏色能讓你平靜？讓你感覺棒極了？這些是你的治癒顏色。穿適合你心情的顏色。

Smell. Walk in the woods and take in the scents. What are the heavenly aromas in your kitchen at home? What perfumes attract you at the department store? Notice the scents of other people.
聞。漫步在樹林中，聞聞香氣。你家廚房裡有哪些天堂般的香氣？百貨公司裡什麼香水吸引你？注意其他人的氣味。

Taste. Really notice the flavor splash of the first chomp on a piece of bubble gum. What foods do you love? Eat a meal in slow motion. Can you taste twice as much by eating half as fast?
品嚐。真正注意到第一口咀嚼一塊泡泡糖時的味道飛濺。你喜歡什麼食物？以慢動作吃飯。你能以減半的速度吃兩倍的味道嗎？

Sound. Just like seeing as far as your eye can see, practice hearing as far as your ear can hear. Listen to every sound in a moment. What music delights you? Makes you sad? Calms you? Listen to the fullness of silence.
聲音。就像眼睛能看到的地方一樣，耳朵聽得到的地方也能聽到。聆聽瞬間的每一個聲音。什麼音樂讓你開心？讓你傷心嗎？讓你平靜嗎？聆聽充滿寂靜的聲音。

Above all, learn what causes you to feel alive and sensual in your body.
最重要的是，了解什麼讓你感到身體充滿活力和性感。

Develop a "menu" of favorite sights, sounds, touches, and tastes, and indulge in them often, as long as they are not hazardous to your health! Sensuality is the younger sister of sexuality. When you get to know her first, she'll blossom into the lovely sister of sexuality.
制定一份包含最喜歡的景象、聲音、觸覺和味道的“菜單”，並經常沉迷其中，只要它們不會危害您的健康！肉慾是性慾的妹妹。當你第一次了解她時，她就會綻放為性感的可愛妹妹。

~ ANONYMOUs, 36
~ 匿名者，36

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This is one woman's description of how she experiences her own sexuality...
這是一位女性對她如何體驗自己的性慾的描述...

A Gift to Myself
給自己的禮物

When I think of sex, I imagine languid long legs, skin against skin. Steaming showers, the smell of lavender, and tensions released...playfully exploring, recognizing sensations, and discovering new ones...a dance of giving and receiving, being present in the moment, allowing myself to feel, be held, be loved...a gift to myself. Thoughts drift away and I enter a space more deeply connected to who I am.
當我想到性愛時，我想像的是慵懶的長腿，肌膚相貼。熱氣騰騰的淋浴，薰衣草的氣味，緊張的情緒得到釋放……有趣地探索，識別感覺，發現新的感覺……一種給予和接受的舞蹈，活在當下，讓自己去感受、被擁抱、被愛...給自己的禮物。思緒漸漸遠去，我進入了一個與我的身分認同更加緊密相連的空間。

I feel suspended by golden silken threads. My chest shivers. The best moments occur when I allow myself to simply focus on my body's sensations. As I give and receive, I notice textures, skin, muscles, firmness, softness, contours of bone and flesh, hair, folds, and curves.
我感覺自己被金色的絲線懸浮著。我的胸口顫抖。當我讓自己專注於身體的感覺時，最好的時刻就發生了。當我給予和接受時，我會注意到紋理、皮膚、肌肉、硬度、柔軟度、骨骼和肉體的輪廓、頭髮、褶皺和曲線。

When I think of sex, I am in awe of all that we are...the sensitivity of a fingertip's touch, the tickle of lips grazing my face, and whispers in my ear.... I am carried. I am held. Giving away and giving to myself.
當我想到性時，我對我們的一切感到敬畏……指尖觸摸的敏感度，嘴唇擦過我臉的癢癢感，以及在我耳邊低語……我被牽著走。我被抓住了。給予自己並給予自己。

~ ANONYMOUS, 42
~ 匿名，42

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Young women are sometimes curious about how sex really feels. This woman shares her reflections on the experience of orgasm.
年輕女性有時對性的真實感受感到好奇。這位女士分享了她對性高潮體驗的反思。

ORGASM
性高潮

When I was seven,
當我七歲的時候，

I felt the first whispers of sexual pleasure.
我第一次感受到了性快感的低語。

I remember that certain way that I could lay across the piano
我記得我可以躺在鋼琴上的某種方式

bench,
長椅，

Or sit sideways on the handmade wooden swing in our backyard, Or rock gently on the pillows that overflowed on my bed.
或是側身坐在我們後院手工製作的木製鞦韆上，或是在我床上鋪滿的枕頭上輕輕搖晃。

I didn't understand what that feeling was, or why it happened, but it was wonderful....
我不明白那種感覺是什麼，也不明白為什麼會發生，但它太棒了…

It felt moist, warm, rhythmic.
感覺濕潤、溫暖、有節奏。

When I was ten,
當我十歲的時候，

I remember hearing my friends talk about exploring their private parts,
我記得我聽我的朋友談論探索他們的私密部位，

With their fingers, with handles of hairbrushes, with anything that "fit."
用他們的手指，用髮刷的手柄，用任何「合適」的東西。

I acted disgusted. But, secretly, alone in my dark room at night, I did it too. It felt moist, warm, rhythmic.
我表現得很厭惡。但是，晚上，我獨自一人在黑暗的房間裡偷偷地這麼做了。感覺濕潤、溫暖、有節奏。

When I was seventeen, I made love to a man for the first time. I was ready and felt that I made the right decision. It was exciting, tender, and romantic,
當我十七歲的時候，我第一次和一個男人做愛。我已經準備好了，並且覺得我做了正確的決定。那是令人興奮、溫柔、浪漫的，

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But it wasn't what I expected... It felt moist, warm, rhythmic.
但這不是我所期望的……感覺濕潤、溫暖、有節奏。

Then, when I was twenty-seven,
然後，當我二十七歲的時候，

After many years of learning to intimately know
經過多年的學習深入了解

Myself, my body, and my partner...
我自己、我的身體、我的伴侶…

I felt the most expanding, mind-blowing experience of my life.
我感受到了我一生中最擴展、最令人興奮的經歷。

From some primal place, deep inside of me,
從我內心深處某個原始的地方，

From the place where
從那個地方

Moist, warm rhythms had sent out their prophecies for two
潮濕、溫暖的節奏發出了他們對兩個人的預言

decades,
幾十年來，

My first orgasm burst through me. Ancient waves of deep, earthy pleasure, Pulling me out of myself and in to myself at the same time. Joyful, and full of energy and life, I remember thinking, "So, this is what all the excitement is about.”
我的第一次高潮爆發了。古老的深沉而質樸的快樂浪潮，將我從自我中拉出來，同時又回到了自我之中。我記得當時我很快樂，充滿活力和生機，“所以，這就是所有令人興奮的地方。”

Now I know that orgasm is just one expression of sexual pleasure
現在我知道高潮只是性快感的表現

And it "comes” in many different packages.
它“出現”在許多不同的包裝中。

Different at different times in our lives,
人生的不同時期，有不同的感受，

Different for different women,
對不同的女人來說，

Different every time.
每次都不同。

anonymous, 33
匿名, 33

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Some of us remember the moment when we felt our first waves of sexual attraction...a first kiss, a slow dance, or our first real crush. As a teenager, your first experiences with romance and exploring your sexuality can be exciting, but confusing too.
我們中的一些人還記得第一次感受到性吸引力的那一刻…初吻、慢舞或第一次真正的迷戀。作為一個青少年，你的第一次浪漫經歷和探索你的性取向可能會令人興奮，但也會令人困惑。

Macarena or Slow Dance?
瑪卡麗娜還是慢舞？

Dear Diary,
親愛的日記，

Am I the only girl who hasn't been asked to dance by a boy? Dances are a big deal at my school. Friday nights, once a month, our school has a dance, and my friends and I dance all night long. We do the Macarena, we go wild to the "YMCA" song, and we all learned how to do the Electric Slide. But now, some of the girls my age have been asked to slow dance with boys. Not me.
我是唯一一個沒有被男孩邀請跳舞的女孩嗎？舞蹈在我的學校是一件大事。星期五晚上，每個月一次，我們學校有舞會，我和我的朋友們跳了一整夜。我們跳了 Macarena，我們為“YMCA”歌曲而瘋狂，我們都學會瞭如何做電動滑梯。但現在，一些和我同齡的女孩被要求和男孩一起跳慢舞。不是我。

Some girls have slow danced with so many guys that I wonder if they do it to keep score. It gives them something to brag about in school on Monday. I do have some friends who haven't slow danced yet, so we are in the same boat. My friend Charlotte danced with a boy last Friday. He's the shyest, quietest boy in school. No one else would dance with him, but Charlotte said it was actually fun. When will it be my turn?
有些女孩和很多男人一起跳慢舞，我想知道她們這樣做是否是為了記分。這讓他們週一在學校有一些值得吹噓的事情。我確實有一些朋友還沒有跳慢舞，所以我們是同一艘船。我的朋友夏洛特上週五和一個男孩跳舞。他是學校裡最害羞、最安靜的男孩。沒有人願意和他跳舞，但夏洛特說這實際上很有趣。什麼時候才能輪到我呢？

one month later...
一個月後...

Dear Diary,
親愛的日記，

Yes! A boy finally asked me to dance with him. His name is Kevin and he's really nice. I like him and I think he likes me too. He is the first guy I've ever danced with, besides with my Dad in the kitchen. I was so nervous! But once we started to dance together, it was really fun. Slow dancing with Kevin was really cool. I wouldn't have traded those two hours at the dance for anything!
是的！一個男孩終於邀請我和他跳舞。他的名字叫凱文，他真的很好。我喜歡他，我想他也喜歡我。除了在廚房和我爸爸跳舞之外，他是我第一個和他跳舞的人。我太緊張了！但一旦我們開始一起跳舞，真的很有趣。和凱文一起慢舞真的很酷。我不會用舞會上的那兩個小時來換任何東西！

Now I have another problem. Two of my closest friends haven't slow danced yet, and I feel funny that I am so excited about dancing with Kevin. Jess says she's not ready to dance with a boy, but Helena would give
現在我有另一個問題。我最親密的兩個朋友還沒有跳慢舞，我覺得很有趣的是，我對與凱文一起跳舞感到如此興奮。傑西說她還沒準備好和男孩跳舞，但海倫娜願意

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anything to dance with Colin. They tease me a little about liking Kevin, but it's mostly joking
任何可以和科林跳舞的事。他們取笑我喜歡凱文，但這主要是個玩笑

I wouldn't "go out" with Kevin, because I'm not even sure what that means anyway. It's just fun hanging out with boys my age. It's not a crime or anything, but it does feel a little different. Sometimes it's even more fun being with Kevin than with my girlfriends. That's okay too, isn't it?
我不會和凱文“出去”，因為我什至不確定這意味著什麼。和我這個年紀的男孩一起出去玩很有趣。這不是犯罪什麼的，但確實感覺有點不同。有時和凱文在一起比和我的女朋友們在一起更有趣。那也沒關係，不是嗎？

- LEAH, 12
- 利亞，12 歲

With the exception of situations of sexual harassment or sexual abuse, we all have choices about when and with whom we begin to explore our sexuality. As teenagers, sometimes unsure about who we really are, it is easy to forget that we can speak up for ourselves when we are in a physically intimate situation. Our desire to feel attractive, accepted, and loved can cloud our feelings about what we really want to happen.
除了性騷擾或性虐待的情況外，我們都可以選擇何時以及與誰開始探索自己的性取向。身為青少年，有時不確定自己到底是誰，很容易忘記當我們處於身體親密的情況下時，我們可以為自己說話。我們渴望感到有吸引力、被接受和被愛，這可能會掩蓋我們對真正想要發生的事情的感覺。

This wornan looks back at her first sexually intimate experience and wishes that she had made a different choice. She learned through her experience. Now she shares her wisdom with you.
這位沃丹人回顧了她的第一次親密性經歷，並希望她做出了不同的選擇。她透過自己的經驗學習到了這一點。現在她與您分享她的智慧。

The Lion's Roar
獅子的怒吼

I will never forget the roar of the lion. How cruel it was of that old man up the road to keep the lion caged in his backyard. At night I could hear his freedom cry, and although I never actually visited him, his song of longing reminded me that he was real.
我永遠不會忘記獅子的吼叫聲。路邊那個老人把獅子關在自家後院的籠子裡，是多麼殘忍。晚上我能聽到他為自由而哭泣，雖然我從未真正拜訪過他，但他渴望的歌聲提醒我他是真實的。

I often questioned what was real in my family: the safe, daytime image of perfection, or the scary nights when alcoholism turned things upside-down. I felt a kinship with the lion. I longed for freedom, too.
我經常質疑我家裡的真實情況：白天安全、完美的形象，或是酗酒使事情發生翻天覆地的可怕夜晚。我對獅子有一種親切感。我也渴望自由。

Although I was only thirteen, I went out with kids who were much older than I was. One midsummer night, I was invited to go to a boy/girl
雖然我只有十三歲，但我和比我大得多的孩子一起出去。一個仲夏夜，我被邀請去拜訪一位男孩/女孩

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camp-out with a guy I had been seeing for a couple of weeks. Knowing that my parents would never allow me to go, I decided to sneak out of the house.
和一個我已經認識了幾個星期的人一起露營。我知道父母不會允許我去，我決定偷偷溜出家門。

Urged on by the roar of the lion, I slipped quietly out my bedroom window and crept alone, through the dark, to my friend's backyard. In the shadows, my boyfriend met me there and led me to the tents, where a number of couples were necking and making out. Feeling both scared and excited to be free, I followed my boyfriend into a green canvas army tent.
在獅子吼聲的催促下，我悄悄地從臥室窗戶溜出去，獨自穿過黑暗，來到我朋友的後院。在陰影中，我的男朋友在那裡遇見了我，並帶我去了帳篷，那裡有幾對情侶正在親熱。我對自由感到既害怕又興奮，跟著男友走進了一個綠色帆布軍用帳篷。

That night, although I was never forced to do anything against my will, part of my thirteen-year-old self was emotionally bruised. As I lay there, my boyfriend touched parts of my body that I had not yet explored myself. Without even realizing what was happening, I gave away part of my sexuality before I had even claimed it as my own. I was left feeling empty and unable to talk to anyone about my confusion. I didn't sense that any of the other girls who came out of those tents that night felt the way I did.
那天晚上，雖然我從未被迫做任何違背自己意願的事情，但十三歲的我的一部分情感受到了傷害。當我躺在那裡時，我的男朋友觸摸了我自己尚未探索過的身體部位。我什至沒有意識到發生了什麼，在我聲稱自己的性取向之前就已經放棄了它。我感到空虛，無法與任何人談論我的困惑。我沒有感覺到那天晚上從帳篷裡出來的其他女孩有和我一樣的感覺。

I walked home alone. As I climbed back through my window, I heard the lion's lonely song again. Perhaps he knew. My escape had not brought me freedom, only another cage that I would have to climb out of some day.
我一個人走回家。當我爬出窗戶時，我再次聽到了獅子孤獨的歌聲。也許他知道。我的逃亡並沒有為我帶來自由，只是給我帶來了另一個總有一天我必須爬出來的牢籠。

As I look back, I wish that someone in my life had taught me about the power and beauty of my own sexuality. I was never invited to acknowledge myself as a sexual being, let alone shown options about how to explore and express myself in that way. Now I am thankful that my sexuality and sensuality find voices through music, dancing, nature, art, food, romance, friendships, and an exciting sexual relationship with my partner of twenty-two years.
當我回首往事時，我希望我生命中的某個人能教我關於自己性慾的力量和美麗。我從未被邀請承認自己是一個性存在，更不用說向我展示如何以這種方式探索和表達自己的選擇。現在我很慶幸我的性慾和感性透過音樂、舞蹈、自然、藝術、食物、浪漫、友誼以及與我二十二年伴侶的令人興奮的性關係找到了聲音。

As you become a woman, remember that your sexuality belongs to you, not someone else. Search for a way to make it your own before you decide to share it!
當你成為女人時，請記住你的性取向是屬於你自己，而不是別人。在決定分享之前先尋找一種方法將其變成您自己的！

~ ANONYMOUS, 39
~ 匿名，39 歲

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How to Say "NO!"
如何說“不！”

If you have a boyfriend, and he is the greatest thing in your life, fantastic! But don't mess it up by falling into bed or the back seat of a car too soon. Use your tongue! That means talk about it. Decide what feels right for you, and then talk about it together. Don't give your partner mixed signals. Try not to play games. Agree from the beginning how far you want to go, and don't change your mind in the middle of everything. Stay strong and conscious.
如果你有男朋友，他是你生命中最偉大的事情，那就太棒了！但不要因為過早跌倒在床上或汽車後座上而把事情搞砸。用你的舌頭！這意味著談論它。決定什麼適合您，然後一起討論。不要向你的伴侶發出混合信號。盡量不要玩遊戲。從一開始就同意你想走多遠，不要在事情中間改變主意。保持堅強和清醒。

And a word or two about those famous sex lines:
關於那些著名的性愛台詞，我要說一兩句話：

"If you really loved me you would..."
“如果你真的愛我，你就會…”

Maybe if he really loved you, he wouldn't ask you to do something that you are not ready to do. If he is willing to leave you over this issue, he may not be someone who will stand by you when you really need help and support.
也許如果他真的愛你，他就不會要求你做你還沒準備好要做的事情。如果他願意在這個問題上離開你，那麼當你真正需要幫助和支持時，他可能不會是一個會支持你的人。

"You're killing me! You get me all excited and then turn
「你殺了我！你讓我興奮不已，然後轉身

it off! What do you expect me to do?"
關掉吧！你希望我做什麼？

Don't let him put a guilt trip on you. He is in charge of his feelings and his body, not you. If he really is sexually frustrated and needs a release, suggest that he masturbate. People do it all the time, and it can be a really healthy alternative to having sex before you are ready.
不要讓他帶給你罪惡感。他負責他的感覺和身體，而不是你。如果他確實在性方面感到沮喪並需要釋放，建議他自慰。人們總是這樣做，這可能是在你準備好之前發生性行為的一個真正健康的替代方案。

"Having sex won't change anything."
“發生性行為不會改變任何事情。”

Oh, yes it will. Having sex with someone changes things a lot! Sometimes for the better, and sometimes not. And you can't always tell which way it's going to go. If you really value your relationship, go slow. Enjoy the romance!
哦，是的，會的。與某人發生性關係會改變很多事情！有時是為了更好，有時則不是。而且你不能總是知道它會朝哪條方向發展。如果你真的重視你們的關係，那就慢慢來。享受浪漫！

~ ANDREA, 30, TEACHER FROM SWITZERLAND
~ ANDREA，30 歲，來自瑞士的教師

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One of the biggest decisions we face as we become mature women is when and with whom to have sex. This decision is incredibly complex. In one ear we hear the media making sex sound fun and exciting, and in the other we learn of the fatal risks of AIDS and the danger of sexually transmitted dis- eases.
當我們成為成熟女性時，我們面臨的最大決定之一就是何時以及與誰發生性關係。這個決定非常複雜。在一隻耳朵中，我們聽到媒體讓性聽起來有趣而令人興奮，而在另一隻耳朵中，我們了解到愛滋病的致命風險和性傳染病的危險。

The following stories are from girls who each have a different perspective on the decision to become sexually active. The common advice in their stories seems to be this: Make conscious, educated choices that are in line with your own values and that protect your physical and emotional health.
以下故事來自女孩，她們對性活躍的決定有不同的看法。他們的故事中常見的建議似乎是這樣的：做出有意識的、受過教育的選擇，符合你自己的價值觀，並保護你的身心健康。

Losing Virginity
失去童貞

It was the cast party. I was smoking clove cigarettes on the porch swing when he showed up. He sat down beside me and we talked about school. The party went on and we danced, watched the video of the play, and ended up going upstairs by ourselves. My heart raced as I pretended to be the sophisticated one. When he kissed me, it sent chills up my spine. As we pulled away from each other, we exchanged a look that told me what was about to happen. I pulled his T-shirt and sweater over his head. He kissed my lips, my neck, my breasts. I stood and took off my stockings. I turned out the lights. We threw the rest of our clothes into the darkness. We made out, and felt each other's skin in a feeble attempt at foreplay. Then he was on top of me. It happened so fast. Before I knew it, we were having sex.
這是演員聚會。當他出現時，我正在門廊的鞦韆上抽丁香香煙。他坐在我旁邊，我們談論學校的事。聚會繼續進行，我們跳舞，觀看戲劇視頻，最後獨自上樓。當我假裝自己是個老練的人時，我的心跳加速。當他吻我的時候，我的背脊發涼。當我們彼此分開時，我們交換了一個眼神，告訴我即將發生什麼。我把他的T恤和毛衣拉到他頭上。他吻了我的嘴唇、我的脖子、我的胸部。我站起來，脫掉絲襪。我關掉了燈。我們把剩下的衣服丟進黑暗裡。我們在前戲中親熱並觸摸彼此的肌膚。然後他就壓在我身上了。事情發生得太快了。在我意識到之前，我們就發生了性關係。

I felt happy, but don't get me wrong... there were no fireworks or sudden feelings of utmost maturity. I was too relieved that the whole ordeal didn't hurt and that I wasn't bleeding all over the new futon to pay attention to pleasure, if there was any. It was over in about twenty minutes. His friend knocked on the door to say it was time to go. We scrambled to find our clothing. He kissed me good-bye, said he would call, and left.
我感到很高興，但別誤會我的意思……沒有煙火或突然的成熟感。我鬆了口氣，因為整個磨難沒有受傷，而且我沒有在新蒲團上流血，無法去關注快樂（如果有的話）。大約二十分鐘就結束了。他的朋友敲門說該走了。我們爭先恐後地尋找衣服。他吻別我，說他會打電話，然後就離開了。

145

Then the pain began. All I wanted to do was cry. I had gotten my wish. I was now "officially a woman." But all I could think about was what a messy rite of passage it was. It doesn't have to be like this.
然後疼痛開始了。我只想哭。我已經實現了我的願望。我現在是「正式的女人」了。但我所能想到的就是這是一個多麼混亂的通過儀式。它不一定是這樣的。

~ ANONYMOus, 16
~ 匿名，16 歲

Experience Isn't Always the Best Teacher
經驗並不總是最好的老師

I am not a virgin, but for a long time I have wished I could turn back the clock and reclaim my virginity. I thought that by sleeping with guys I would learn how to be a good lover. Now I realize how wrong I was.
我不是處女，但很長一段時間以來，我一直希望時光倒流，重獲童貞。我以為透過和男人上床我就能學會如何成為一個好情人。現在我意識到我錯得多離譜。

For the first time in my life, I am in a serious relationship with a man. I have learned more about love and lovemaking in the past year than in all of my previous experiences combined. The most important lesson for me is that true intimacy and sexual pleasure come with honesty and commitment, not multiple experiences.
我有生以來第一次與一個男人建立認真的關係。在過去的一年裡，我對愛和做愛的了解比我以前所有經歷的總和還要多。對我來說最重要的教訓是，真正的親密感和性快感來自於誠實和承諾，而不是多重經驗。

~ KERI, 20
〜克里，20

Not Front Page News
不是頭版新聞

Sex was always a hot topic of conversation in my high school, so even though I wasn't having sex, I didn't want people to know I was a virgin. I thought that boys would think I was weird or something. When the topic came up, I would either lie or change the subject.
在我的高中，性一直是個熱門話題，所以即使我沒有做愛，我也不想讓人們知道我是處女。我以為男生會覺得我很奇怪什麼的。當話題出現時，我要么撒謊，要么轉移話題。

When I went away to college, something changed. My friends at school knew I was a virgin. In fact, half of them were virgins also! Suddenly, it didn't bother me that people knew the same information that I had tried so hard to keep secret.
當我去上大學時，事情發生了變化。我學校裡的朋友都知道我是處女。事實上，其中一半也是處女！突然間，人們知道了我極力保守秘密的相同訊息，這對我來說並不困擾。

~ ANONYMOUs, 21
~ 匿名者，21

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what do you do with all of that passion and excitement that bubbles up en you begin to mature sexually? Enjoy it! But that doesn't necessarily ean acting on it. Sometimes....
當你的性開始成熟時，你會如何處理所有的熱情和興奮？好好享受！但這並不一定意味著要採取行動。有時....

The best part about sex is wanting it."
關於性的最好的部分就是想要它。

When I first heard that phrase, it made no sense. After all, I learned that sex was something you "had" or something you "got." The gossip around school was all about who had had sex, not about who wanted it. Secretly, we all wanted it! Many years later, I think I finally understand what that phrase means.
當我第一次聽到這句話時，我覺得毫無意義。畢竟，我了解到性是你「擁有」或「得到」的東西。學校裡的八卦都是關於誰發生過性行為，而不是關於誰想要發生性關係。私下里，我們都想要它！很多年後，我想我終於明白這句話的意思了。

Sexual desire is a power beyond words. It is a hunger that is sometimes too quickly fed. In a culture that encourages a “quick fix,” desire is not often experienced to its fullest. The wanting, the longing, can be felt in many delicious ways...in the rush of blood that surges to your cheeks when the guy you like walks around the corner at school...in the electric current that runs through your body in the dangling moment just before a first kiss...in the bittersweet ache that you feel when you are separated from the one that you love...in the juicy, romantic anticipation of a can- dlelit dinner...in the slippery slow motion unbuttoning of your shirt for your lover...and within the magical suspended moment just before you experience an orgasm.
性慾是一種無法言喻的力量。這是一種有時吃得太快的飢餓。在鼓勵「快速解決」的文化中，慾望往往無法得到充分的經驗。渴望、渴望可以透過多種美妙的方式來感受……當你喜歡的人在學校的拐角處走過時，血液會湧上你的臉頰……在電流中流過你的身體。 …在與所愛的人分離時感受到的苦樂參半的疼痛…在燭光晚餐的多汁、浪漫的期待中…在滑溜溜的緩慢中為你的愛人解開襯衫釦子的動作…在你體驗高潮之前的神奇暫停時刻。

When you recognize the gift of desire, you can begin to see the wisdom in the phrase, “The best part about sex is wanting it." You can enjoy being sexy, sensual, and aroused, without necessarily "having" sex. Believe it or not, many of us who have been sexually active still think that a huge part of the excitement about sex is in the desire itself...in just wanting it! Those tingly lusty waves you feel are precious. Enjoy them while you can, because when a sexual urge or need is met, desire fades. This is not to say that excitement and desire can't be nurtured and preserved in a long- term, loving relationship. It can. But now is a beautiful time to learn to honor your desires. Savor your luscious longings patiently. Take time to learn from them. They are wise teachers.
當你認識到慾望的禮物時，你就會開始明白這句話的智慧：「性最好的部分就是想要它。」你可以享受性感、感性和性喚起，而不一定「有」性。相信它無論是否，我們中許多性活躍的人仍然認為性的興奮很大一部分在於慾望本身……只是想要它！ 盡你所能享受那些令人興奮的慾望！時，慾望就會消失。

~ ANONYMOUS, 47
~ 匿名，47 歲

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Each and every one of us has a unique way of experiencing and expressing our sexuality. The following stories were written by girls and women who have recognized themselves as lesbians or bisexuals. Our society has come a long way in accepting a variety of sexual orientations, but adolescent girls who identify themselves as non-heterosexual can still have a difficult time feeling comfortable with their sexuality....
我們每個人都有一種獨特的方式來體驗和表達我們的性慾。以下故事是由承認自己是女同性戀或雙性戀的女孩和婦女寫的。我們的社會在接受各種性取向方面已經取得了長足的進步，但是自認為非異性戀的青春期女孩仍然很難對自己的性取向感到舒服...

The Biggest Crush
最大的暗戀

The biggest crush that I ever had was on Sandee. She was a senior when I was a sophomore in college. She was the most talented actor in school, and she was wild, irresponsible, and beautiful. Not beautiful like a model, but big and curvy, with skin the color of coffee with cream. She was wacky and funny, and she thought I was cool. As far as I knew, Sandee was straight and so was I. I dated guys and thought that she did, too. Even so, I would sweat a little when she paid attention to me in front of my friends.
我最迷戀的是桑迪。當我讀大學二年級時，她已經是大四學生了。她是學校裡最有才華的演員，她狂野、不負責任、美麗。不像模特兒那麼漂亮，但身材高大、曲線優美，皮膚呈現奶油咖啡色。她古怪又有趣，她認為我很酷。據我所知，桑迪是異性戀，我也是。即便如此，當她在朋友面前關注我時，我還是會有點流汗。

Sandee got me a job where she worked, and I was in heaven! Sometimes after work, we would grab some dinner and go for a walk. One day it rained, but we walked anyway. It was then that I realized that what I felt for Sandee was more than a crush. I really loved her. The strangest part was that I had a feeling that she felt something for me, too.
桑迪在她工作的地方為我找到了一份工作，我簡直就像在天堂一樣！有時下班後，我們會吃點晚飯，然後去散步。有一天，下雨了，但我們還是走了。就在那時我意識到我對桑迪的感情不僅僅是迷戀。我真的很愛她。最奇怪的是，我有一種感覺，她也對我有感覺。

The following week we were at a party, and she began flirting with me. I flirted back. I felt powerful and beautiful and scared. What did this mean? After the party, we walked back to her apartment and she kissed me. Wow! I had kissed guys. I had lost my virginity some time before. But, wow! This feeling was new, and I really liked it. I went home and I couldn't sleep.
接下來的一週我們參加了一個聚會，她開始跟我調情。我回調情。我感到強大、美麗卻又害怕。這是什麼意思？聚會結束後，我們走回她的公寓，她吻了我。哇！我曾親吻過男人。我之前一段時間就失​​去了童貞。但是，哇！這種感覺很新鮮，我很喜歡。我回到家卻睡不著。

That summer with Sandee was when I experienced my first sexual relationship with a woman. It felt lovely, yet dangerous. It was natural and right and good.
和桑迪在一起的夏天，我經歷了第一次與女人的性關係。感覺很可愛，但也很危險。這是自然的、正確的、好的。

Sandee left at the end of the summer, and we stayed in touch for a while. I often think of that walk in the rain and the incredible feelings she freed in me that summer, and I smile.
桑迪在夏末離開了，我們保持了一段時間的聯繫。我經常想起那次雨中散步，以及那個夏天她在我身上釋放出的難以置信的感覺，我會微笑。

~ HEATHER, 28
~ 希瑟，28 歲

148

I THINK I AM IN LOVE
我想我戀愛了

I am in love I think,
我想我戀愛了

With the bone beneath the neck that
脖子下面的骨頭

Protrudes ever so slightly.
稍微突出一點。

In love with the nose, the perfectly laid fingers, and with the Soft voice that speaks only what needs to be said.
愛上鼻子、完美放置的手指，以及只說出需要說的話的柔和聲音。

But I am also alone. Alone in myself. I cannot tell anyone. I cannot gossip with my friends, cannot giggle,
但我也是孤獨一人。獨自一人。我不能告訴任何人。我不能和朋友閒聊，不能咯咯笑，

As the nose, the neck, the soft voice walks by. Instead I turn my head and hide. Is it because the fingers are long and thin, The voice high and melodic, and the skin soft and feminine?
隨著鼻子、脖子、輕柔的聲音走過。相反，我轉過頭躲了起來。是因為手指細長，聲音高亢悠揚，肌膚柔軟有女人味嗎？

I am not ashamed, not unhappy with myself, Just alone with untold love. It hurts something awful sometimes to even look at her Without wincing in pain. But in the end I am still in love.
我並不羞恥，也不對自己不滿意，只是獨自一人，懷著難以言喻的愛。有時候，即使只是看著她而不因痛苦而皺眉，也會感到可怕的疼痛。但最終我還是愛著。

Alone, aching, but still wonderfully in love
孤獨，痛苦，但仍美好地相愛

with the nose, the fingers, the voice,
用鼻子、手指、聲音，

and with her.
和她在一起。

anonymous, 16
匿名，16

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The last few stories in this chapter are simply love stories. Each one reflects the ecstatic, confusing, bittersweet feelings of falling in love.
本章的最後幾個故事只是愛情故事。每一個都反映了墜入愛河的狂喜、困惑、苦樂參半的感覺。

Encounters with a Frog Prince
與青蛙王子的邂逅

I remember first noticing him out in front of school. We were gathered in circles, milling about, waiting for the bell to ring. He was on his skateboard whirling around, doing ollies. He was wearing navy blue and gray flannel pants, an icy blue T-shirt, Converse sneakers, and a Detroit Tigers baseball cap. His jet black hair poked out ever so slightly in back. When he removed his hat, to my delight, his chin-length bangs spilled forward, covering one eye. In all of my twelve years, I had never seen such a hunk of burning love. And he did not even know that I was alive. Not yet, anyway. Jeremiah would be mine. Oh, yeah, mine!
我記得第一次注意到他是在學校門口。我們圍成一圈，轉來轉去，等待鈴聲響起。他踩著滑板旋轉著，做奧利斯動作。他穿著海軍藍和灰色法蘭絨褲、冰藍色T卹、匡威運動鞋和底特律老虎隊棒球帽。他那烏黑的頭髮輕輕地從後面伸出來。當他摘下帽子時，讓我高興的是，他齊下巴的瀏海向前傾瀉而下，遮住了一隻眼睛。我十二年來，從未見過如此熾熱的愛情。而他甚至不知道我還活著。無論如何，還沒有。耶利米將是我的。哦，是的，我的！

Apparently a lot of girls felt the same way that I did, because every couple of weeks Jeremiah had a new girlfriend. He was always the one to end the relationship...a ladies' man. I swooned as he dated all of my friends, and when he dyed those gorgeous bangs blonde and pierced his ear, I thought he couldn't become any more beautiful.
顯然很多女孩和我有同樣的感覺，因為每隔幾週耶利米就會有一個新女朋友。他總是那個結束這段關係的人……一個女人味十足的男人。當他和我所有的朋友約會時，我著迷了，當他把那些華麗的瀏海染成金色並在耳朵上穿了耳洞時，我以為他不能變得更漂亮了。

On my first day of science in eighth grade, I plunked myself down at a desk and scanned the room. There sat Jeremiah Myers just two seats behind me! If I leaned my chair way back and stretched really far, I could touch him. The teacher's voice drew me back to the front of the room. She was putting people into pairs to do an introductory exercise. "Katie and Jeremiah, do you know each other?" she asked. We nodded our heads. "Good! You are a pair."
八年級科學課的第一天，我坐在書桌前，掃視了一下房間。耶利米·邁爾斯坐在我身後僅兩個座位！如果我把椅子向後傾斜並伸展得很遠，我就能觸摸到他。老師的聲音把我拉回教室前面。她將人們分成兩人一組進行介紹性練習。 “凱蒂和耶利米，你們認識嗎？”她問。我們點點頭。 “好！你們是一對。”

Jeremiah and I, a pair! It was melodious to my ears. Honestly, I think that Mrs. McSweeny regretted ever putting us together. Every day the two of us would slip into our desk built for two and laugh and gossip during the whole class. Forget the Mesozoic and Cenozoic eras! The present moment was much more important to me.
耶利米和我，一對！這聲音在我耳邊響起。老實說，我認為麥克斯威尼夫人後悔讓我們在一起。每天，我們兩個都會溜進我們為兩人設計的桌子，整個課堂上歡笑、閒聊。忘記中生代和新生代吧！當下時刻對我來說更為重要。

One glorious day, he asked for my phone number. My hands trembled as I wrote down the seven digits. I wiped my sweating palms on my Umbros, adjusted my ponytail, and gave him the number.
一個美好的一天，他向我要了電話號碼。當我寫下這七位數時，我的手在顫抖。我用 Umbros 擦了擦出汗的手掌，整理了一下馬尾辮，然後給了他號碼。

150

That night I paced back and forth. My stomach gurgled as I awaited his call. Minutes passed. Hours passed. Finally, after my third bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream, the phone rang. I ran for it, snatching it out of the clutches of my younger sister. It wasn't him. It was my friend, Kate. "Did he call you yet?" she asked. I began to moan about it, only to be interrupted by call waiting. I took a deep breath and told her to hold on. I never did click back over. It was Jeremiah. We made small talk for a while. Okay, until well after my bedtime. I crawled up into my bunk bed and cradled the phone under the covers. Hours later, I heard my mom's footsteps coming closer. "Jeremiah, I have to go. My mom will kill me if she knows I'm still on the phone." "Wait." he said. "There's something I have to ask you. Will you, um, go out with me?" Though I was bursting with joy, I kept my cool. I heard somewhere that it's not good to show too much excitement with a guy. "Sure, I guess," I said, five Mississippi's later.
那天晚上我來回踱步。當我等待他的電話時，我的肚子咕嚕咕嚕叫。幾分鐘過去了。幾個小時過去了。最後，在我吃完第三碗薄荷巧克力片冰淇淋後，電話響了。我跑過去，把它從妹妹手中搶了過來。不是他。那是我的朋友凱特。 “他打電話給你了嗎？”她問。我開始抱怨這件事，卻被呼叫等待打斷了。我深吸了一口氣，告訴她要堅持住。我從來沒有點擊過回來。是耶利米。我們閒聊了一會兒。好吧，直到我睡覺後。我爬上雙層床，把手機放在被子下面。幾個小時後，我聽到媽媽的腳步聲越來越近。 “耶利米，我得走了。如果我媽媽知道我還在打電話，她會殺了我的。” “等待。”他說。 “我有件事要問你。你能，嗯，和我一起出去嗎？”儘管我欣喜若狂，但我還是保持著冷靜。我聽人說過，對一個男人表現出太多的興奮是不好的。 「當然，我想，」五個密西西比河之後我說。

Our relationship was a simple one. He would write me beautiful letters. He couldn't spell for shit, but whatever he lacked in spelling ability, he made up for in poetics and sweetness. He told me how pretty I was, and how glad he was that we were going out (even long after his usual two-week limit for girlfriends had expired). We never saw each other outside of school, until he wrote me a note asking if "maybe" I wanted to go to Derek's Valentine's Day party with him.
我們的關係很簡單。他會給我寫漂亮的信。他不會拼寫，但無論他拼寫能力有什麼缺陷，他都會用詩意和甜蜜來彌補。他告訴我我有多漂亮，而且他很高興我們要出去（即使在他通常對女朋友的兩週限制已經到期很久之後）。我們在校外從未見過面，直到他給我寫了一張紙條，詢問「也許」我是否想和他一起去參加德里克的情人節派對。

A week later, my mom dropped me off in front of Derek's house. I made my way into the house and wove through the crowd to Jeremiah. He smiled and grabbed my hand as we joined the ranks of couples moving two by two, like animals on their way to Noah's Ark. We all went downstairs to the family room. Some people played pool…..some talked. Then someone turned out the lights.
一週後，我媽媽把我送到德瑞克家門口。我走進屋子，穿過人群來到耶利米身邊。當我們加入夫婦兩兩移動的行列時，他微笑著抓住我的手，就像前往諾亞方舟的動物一樣。有些人打撞球……有些人說話。然後有人把燈關了。

Jeremiah pulled me so close that I could smell him. We stood there in the dark, surrounded by bunches of other couples, dancing to a silent song. I felt his cheek against mine. Then he pulled away slightly. I could make out the silhouette of his face moving closer and closer until I felt his lips press against mine. That night, before I had left for the party, I'd written a diary entry of the future, just to assure that this moment would occur. It read: "Tonight for the first time I kissed a boy, and better yet, it was Jeremiah." It really happened.
耶利米把我拉得很近，我能聞到他的味道。我們在黑暗中站在那裡，周圍是一群其他情侶，隨著一首無聲的歌曲跳舞。我感覺到他的臉頰抵著我的臉頰。然後他輕輕地抽離了。我可以看到他臉的輪廓越來越近，直到我感覺到他的嘴唇壓在我的嘴唇上。那天晚上，在我出發去參加聚會之前，我寫了一篇關於未來的日記，只是為了確保這一刻會發生。上面寫著：“今晚我第一次親吻一個男孩，更好的是，這是耶利米。”這真的發生了。

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After that night, Jeremiah was totally into me. His calling increased, and so did his letters. I remember receiving one letter, specially folded up. On the cover he had written:
那天晚上之後，耶利米完全迷上了我。他的呼召越來越多，他的信件也越來越多。我記得收到一封信，是特意折起來的。他在封面上寫道：

JEREMIAH + KATIE
耶利米 + 凱蒂

You would think that I would be pretty ecstatic about all of this, right? Well actually, I felt pretty damn crowded. A few weeks later, I broke up with Jeremiah, in a note, of course. I'm not sure what I was thinking, because I still liked him.
你可能認為我會對這一切感到非常欣喜，對吧？好吧，實際上，我感覺非常擁擠。幾週後，我和耶利米分手了，當然是在一張紙條上。我不知道我在想什麼，因為我仍然喜歡他。

I wish I could tell you why I did that to him (and Brian, and Kevin, and Steve, and Ben, and Dennis...), but I can't. On more than one occasion, after I have broken up with someone, I've been asked, "Why are you crying so hard? It's over. It's what you wanted." It's just not that simple.
我希望我能告訴你為什麼我對他（還有布萊恩、凱文、史蒂夫、班和丹尼斯…）這麼做，但我不能。不只一次，在我和某人分手後，有人問我：“你為什麼哭得這麼厲害？已經結束了。這就是你想要的。”只是事情沒那麼簡單。

I am, unfortunately, a "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" kind of girl. My yo-yo, "come here, go away" emotions have caused many people bushels of hurt. I am working on it.
不幸的是，我是一個「籬笆那邊的草總是比較綠」的女孩。我的溜溜球，「來這裡，走開」的情緒已經給很多人造成了傷害。我正在努力。

As far as Jeremiah goes, I believe that it's a good thing that we broke up. Okay, so we did get back together a couple more times. It just didn't work out, though. I am really glad to say that we've always remained friends.
就耶利米而言，我相信我們分手是件好事。好吧，我們確實又重聚了幾次。但它只是沒有成功。我真的很高興地說我們一直都是朋友。

One interesting pattern that I've noticed as I've looked back is that whenever Jeremiah and I would start dating, he would just happen to shave some body part. The first time it was those beautiful bangs that I was so wild about, then his eyebrows, and then his legs. I really think it's for the best that we stopped dating when we did. I don't wanna even think about what he would've shaved off next....
當我回顧過去時，我注意到一個有趣的模式是，每當耶利米和我開始約會時，他都會碰巧剃掉身體的某些部位。第一次是那些讓我著迷的美麗瀏海，然後是他的眉毛，然後是他的腿。我真的認為我們停止約會是最好的選擇。我甚至不想去想他接下來會剃掉什麼...

First Love
初戀

~ KATHRYN, 20
〜凱瑟琳，20

In the honey sweat of summer, I listened for the sound of his breath. Steve. My first love. As he inhaled, I could see the sharp points of his ribcage begin to take form. They poked against the pale, skim-milk blue of
在夏日的蜜汗中，我聽著他的呼吸聲。史蒂夫.我的初戀。當他吸氣時，我可以看到他胸腔的尖角開始形成。他們戳破了淡藍色的脫脂牛奶

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his T-shirt as we sat beneath the stars at the pond behind the school. The ducks made sleep sounds in the peaceful night air. In the innocence of youth, our only touch was the soft fingerprint of words that brushed across the space between us. We spoke in sacred whispers of the dreams of young romantics who were stuck in suburbia, of our loss of faith in our parents and preachers, and of the immense relief in having found each other within the loneliness of growing up. Beneath the sound of his voice, enclosed in the shadow of his skinny shoulders, I was small and green, dipping my toes into the water, careful not to get wet.
當我們坐在學校後面池塘邊的星空下時，他穿著他的T卹。鴨子在寧靜的夜晚空氣中發出睡意。在純真無邪的青春歲月裡，我們唯一的觸摸是劃過我們之間空間的柔軟的文字指紋。我們用神聖的低語談論著被困在郊區的年輕浪漫主義者的夢想，談論我們對父母和傳教士失去的信心，以及在成長的孤獨中找到彼此後的巨大解脫。在他的聲音下，在他瘦削的肩膀的陰影下，我顯得又小又綠，把腳趾浸入水中，小心翼翼地不被淋濕。

By the time June came, the fever was already taking hold of me. I could not stop myself from spending every second with him. We would lie on his bed while Frank Sinatra records from the downtown thrift store crackled on the stereo. We would go for midnight walks, and he'd pull me into the middle of the street to dance under the lights that filtered down through the windows of nearby houses. Even when he wasn't with me, he was there. 

An hour after we parted each night, the feel of his breath was still warm and damp in my lungs. I would sit on the porch, the fabric of my cotton nightgown sticking to my skin, taking in the lemon drop candy smell that I had already begun to recognize as my own, and humming the bars to the song he wrote on his guitar. I could spend the whole night like that, just thinking about him with my shoulders pushed back and my head held high. 

Maybe that should have been my first warning. After about three months of humming his songs, spending every waking hour with him, getting closer to finding the core of his soul, I had a frightening revelation. My parents were watching some horrible sitcom on television downstairs. The sound of the canned laughter reached my ears in the bathroom while I was getting ready to go out with him. I half-listened to the exchange of dialogue. Through the strange acoustics around the shower door, I could hear a young boy ask his mother how he would know if he were in love. Just as I picked up my things to leave, I caught her response. "You know you love someone when you care more about them than you care about yourself." Suddenly I felt sick. I quickly shot a glance at my reflection in the mirror. It was exactly what I had been afraid 

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of. My face was the same, but my eyes looked strange. I thought, "My God, I am in love with this boy." 

This is not the way it was supposed to happen! When I felt it for the first time, it was supposed to be discovered in an epiphany during a lonely night on a journey far away from home. Or when he suddenly uttered those three little words in the perfect stillness by the pond. Bur instead, it had found me through the cliché that some no-name writer had probably thrown together on a bus ride to Hollywood. I was repulsed. I was scared. I was in love. To an independent young woman. this was the most frightening thought in the world. 

I had to hold on to the banister as I walked down the stairs. I made it down to the bottom step and said good-bye to my parents. But as soon as I closed the door behind me, everything changed. I couldn't go back Everything was different now. 

Before I knew it, my best friend was calling me, crying on the phone because I never wanted to go out with her anymore. My parents were calling every hospital in town when I came home at 2:00 A.M., three hours after my curfew. I was waiting outside on the porch, writing bad poems on the backs of paper plates, waiting, waiting for him to drop by. He would always show up just as I was giving up to go back inside. 

In the dark on the front porch one night, he became serious. “I have something to tell you," he said. Slowly, he opened his hands for me, revealing his silver pocket watch. We sat there for hours in the absolute stillness, just listening to the sound of the watch ticking. The contorted figures of my parents were large and deep blue through the yellow windows upstairs. Beneath them he was bathed in a soft light, one silent finger to his lips, the image of complete calm. And suddenly I knew. He didn't have to say a word. I knew what was coming next. 

September 7th. I still remember the date. The last night before he moved away... 3,500 miles away. The whole night we were just biding our time. We didn't know what to do. After all of this time and intimacy, we had regressed back to the status of our first date. We walked out to his car more slowly than I thought was humanly possible. And he kissed me good-bye there, beneath the balcony of my parents' room, angled against 

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the garage door so they couldn't see me in the shadow. I could taste the salt from my own tears on his lips. 

It was all I could do to let go of him, to turn around and walk away. slowly, deliberately, one foot in front of the other, my hands opening and closing like the mouths of tiny fish on land. I thought that if I could just make it to the door without looking back, then I could make it through the coming months without him. But I couldn't. I looked back. I caught his expression one last time as he stood there behind his car with his arms and chin resting on the roof. I already knew something had changed. I closed my eyes and whispered, "It's dead.” 

And the reason why I couldn't stop crying, the real reason, wasn't just that love was lost. My childhood was over.
而我無法停止哭泣的原因，真正的原因，不只是失去了愛情。我的童年結束了。

~ MELISSA, 18
~ 梅麗莎，18 歲

That Cute Guy
那個可愛的傢伙

I had a golden childhood. My life was smooth. I had a lot of good friends and a nice family. I was known as "sweet, but gullible." I got teased a lot.
我有一個金色的童年。我的生活很順利。我有很多好朋友和一個美好的家庭。我被認為是“可愛但容易上當”。我被嘲笑了很多次。

In junior high, things started to change. School became challenging. I began to menstruate, and my emotions were like a wild ride on a roller coaster. One morning in seventh grade, I fell in love with a cute guy who showed up in class. We girls thought he was "a doll." He seemed to love the attention he was getting from all of us, but before long, he began to pay attention to me in particular.
到了國中，事情開始改變。學校變得充滿挑戰。我開始來月經了，我的情緒就像坐過山車一樣瘋狂。七年級的某天早上，我愛上了課堂上出現的一個可愛的傢伙。我們女孩認為他是「洋娃娃」。他似乎很喜歡我們所有人對他的關注，但不久之後，他開始特別注意我。

That summer, I decided to go to camp with my friends. The "cute guy" was there also, and I was in heaven. I met a bunch of new friends, and even had a built-in boyfriend! By Wednesday of the first week, it all changed. His early adolescent eye started roaming, and by the end of the week, we were no longer a couple. The summer was ruined!
那年夏天，我決定和朋友去露營。那個「可愛的傢伙」也在那裡，我簡直就像在天堂一樣。我認識了一群新朋友，甚至還有了一個固定的男友！到第一週的星期三，一切都改變了。他青春期的目光開始四處遊蕩，到了週末，我們就不再是情侶了。夏天被毀了！

On our very first day back at school in the fall, he leaned against my locker and suggested that we start going together again. I was relieved, said "okay," and we were a couple the rest of the year.
秋天我們回到學校的第一天，他靠在我的儲物櫃上，建議我們重新開始一起去。我鬆了一口氣，說“好吧”，這一年剩下的時間我們都是情侶。

The same scenario happened the summer after eighth grade. And the
同樣的情況也發生在八年級後的夏天。還有

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How Can
怎麼可以

I Handle One
我處理一個

More
更多的

Thing?
事物？

Crisis in Adolescence
青春期危機

8

W hen a crisis occurs during your adolescent years, it may feel especially overwhelming. Like most girls, you're wondering about making good choices, speaking up for yourself, fitting in with friends, taking care of your body as it changes. Suddenly there is much more to deal with than "the usual stuff"... maybe a personal problem you are facing alone, or a crisis in your family, in your neighborhood, in school, or somewhere out in the world.
當危機發生在你的青春期時，你可能會感到特別難以承受。像大多數女孩一樣，您想知道如何做出正確的選擇、為自己說話、與朋友相處、在身體變化時照顧好自己。突然之間，除了「平常的事」之外，還有更多的事情需要處理……也許是您獨自面臨的個人問題，或是家庭、社區、學校或世界其他地方的危機。

The experiences that girls and women have shared on the pages ahead sound like a laundry list of the world's worst nightmares...accidents, illnesses, divorce, rape, loss, addictions, war. Unfortunately, life is not always pleasant, and crises can occur during adolescence as easily as during any other time in life. But if you read between the lines in the stories shared, you will notice that even through crises, important lessons can be learned. You can make it through a painful situation, gaining wisdom and growing stronger along the way.
女孩和婦女在接下來的幾頁中分享的經歷聽起來像是世界上最可怕的噩夢的清單……事故、疾病、離婚、強姦、損失、毒癮、戰爭。不幸的是，生活並不總是愉快的，青春期和生命中的任何其他時期一樣容易發生危機。但如果你仔細閱讀所分享的故事的字裡行間，你會發現，即使經歷危機，也可以學到重要的教訓。你可以渡過痛苦的境地，並在過程中獲得智慧並變得更強大。

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NO PLACE TO HIDE
無處可藏

I am a scared little girl with no place to hide.
我是一個害怕的小女孩，無處可躲。

I wonder what the world would be like without fear or violence.
我想知道如果沒有恐懼或暴力，世界會是什麼樣子。

I hear the trees crying out as they fall to the ground.
我聽到樹木倒在地上時發出呼喊聲。

I see a kidnapper grabbing me when I am in the woods.
當我在樹林裡時，我看到一個綁匪抓住了我。

I want there to be no fear in this world.
我希望這個世界上沒有恐懼。

I am a scared little girl with no place to hide.
我是一個害怕的小女孩，無處可躲。

I pretend I don't know that anything bad is happening. I feel the pain in the stomachs of all the starving children. I touch the wounds of a dying soldier.
我假裝我不知道有什麼不好的事情發生。我感受到所有飢餓兒童的胃部疼痛。我撫摸著一名垂死士兵的傷口。

I worry that I won't be able to do anything with my life. I cry for all those who need someone to cry with them. I am a scared little girl with no place to hide.
我擔心我這輩子什麼都做不了。我為所有需要有人陪他們哭泣的人哭泣。我是一個害怕的小女孩，無處可躲。

I understand that not everything in the world is bad. I dream of a perfect life.
我明白世界上並不是所有的事情都是壞的。我夢想著完美的生活。

I say we need to think more of others than we do of ourselves. I try as hard as I can to see the good side of everything. I hope for more smiles than tears.
我說我們需要更多地為他人著想，而不是為自己著想。我盡我所能去看到一切好的一面。我希望微笑多於淚水。

But I am still a scared little girl with no place to hide.
但我仍然是一個害怕無處藏身的小女孩。

~Megan, 14
〜梅根，14 歲

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Upside-down at Seventeen
十七歲顛倒

I was a senior in high school. I had been driving tractors and farm trucks since I was twelve, so my parents had no problem letting me use their pick-up truck to go to a school event that Saturday morning. My friend Laurel was with me.
我當時是一名高中生。我從十二歲起就開始駕駛拖拉機和農用卡車，所以我的父母毫不猶豫地讓我使用他們的皮卡車去參加週六早上的學校活動。我的朋友勞雷爾和我在一起。

After the fun at school was over, our hearts singing from the time we had spent with our classmates, we headed west towards home. Dark, gloomy clouds suddenly burst open, and a heavy rain fell around us as we drove along in the old truck. The windshield wipers were dancing as fast as they could, and I decided to slow down. Suddenly things seemed out of control. I was trying to keep the truck away from the muddy shoulder. We slid across the blacktop. The next thing I remember, we were upside-down in the truck, next to an apple tree in the orchard.
學校的歡樂結束後，我們懷著與同學一起度過的時光的心在歌唱，向西回家。烏雲突然炸開，大雨傾盆而下，我們開著舊卡車前進。擋風玻璃雨刷以最快的速度旋轉，我決定放慢速度。突然事情似乎失去了控制。我試著讓卡車遠離泥濘的路肩。我們滑過柏油路。接下來我記得的是，我們頭朝下地坐在卡車裡，旁邊是果園裡的一棵蘋果樹。

How could such joy suddenly turn to such terror? Neither of us was hurt; not even a scratch! A true miracle since the truck was now kissing the trunk of an apple tree. We were immediately surrounded by people peering inside the truck. They helped us get out, and my mind started working again. What was I going to do now? How was I going to get the truck upright before my father saw it? Daddy! Oh, my gosh! What would he do?
如此的喜悅怎麼會突然變成如此的恐懼？我們倆都沒有受傷；連一點刮痕都沒有！這真是一個奇蹟，因為卡車現在正在親吻一棵蘋果樹的樹幹。我們立刻被圍觀的人們圍住，他們在卡車內窺視。他們幫助我們出去，我的腦袋又開始運作了。我現在要做什麼？我怎麼能在我父親看到之前把卡車弄直呢？爸爸！哦，天哪！他會怎麼做？

I didn't have long to think about this, because soon I saw those eyes in the crowd, those familiar eyes that could always discipline me with no words necessary. The crowd helped turn the truck back over, and it was then that Daddy spoke. "Get in that truck and take Laurel home." "No!" I replied. "I don't ever want to drive again!" My father repeated himself, insisting that I drive Laurel home right away.
我沒有思考這個問題，因為很快我就在人群中看到了那雙眼睛，那雙熟悉的眼睛總是不需要言語就能約束我。人群幫忙把卡車翻了回來，就在這時，爸爸說話了。 “上那輛卡車，帶勞雷爾回家。” “不！”我回答。 “我再也不想開車了！”我父親重複了一遍，堅持要我立刻開車送勞雷爾回家。

It was the best thing he could have done for me. I drove my friend home, then went home myself. The incident was never mentioned again by my father, and my driving privileges were not limited in any way. I'm sure I never would have driven again if he hadn't been so insistent that day.
這是他能為我做的最好的事。我開車送我的朋友回家，然後我自己也回家了。我父親再也沒有提起過這件事，我的駕駛權限也沒有受到任何限制。我確信，如果那天他不是那麼堅持的話，我絕對不會再開車了。

This memory illustrates the depth of emotions that teenage girls often feel. From such high joys to the depths of despair, all in a split second. The embarrassment of people staring at me and at my mistake; the fear of my
這段記憶說明了少女經常感受到的情感的深度。從極度的喜悅到極度的絕望，就在一瞬間。人們盯著我和我的錯誤而感到尷尬；我的恐懼

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father's reaction; the relief when I discovered that my friend and I were okay. Emotions are so close to the surface during these years, and teenagers feel more pain than they need to sometimes.
父親的反應；當我發現我和我的朋友都沒事時，我鬆了一口氣。這些年來，情緒如此接近表面，青少年有時會感到比他們需要的更多的痛苦。

The world didn't stop because I turned my father's truck upside down, and it won't stop for any of the other disappointments or failures you might have along the way. Face your joys and your sorrows, and you will be "right side up" before you know it!
世界並沒有因為我把父親的卡車翻了個底朝天而停止，它也不會因為沿途可能遇到的任何其他失望或失敗而停止。面對你的歡樂和悲傷，不知不覺你就會「翻身」了！

~ ELMA, 70, MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER, GREAT-GRANDMOTHER
~ ELMA，70 歲，母親、祖母、曾祖母

Life gets crazy sometimes. No wonder we all feel overwhelmed! This young woman has found a way to feel better when it all seems like too much to handle....
生活有時會變得瘋狂。難怪我們都感到不知所措！當這一切似乎難以處理時，這位年輕女子找到了一種讓自己感覺更好的方法...

Stressed Out!
壓力很大！

It's all building up inside of me. Stress from school, stress from my friends, stress from my family. I have too many responsibilities, and all I want to do is relax, unwind, and clear my head. I get depressed and lonely when I can't slow it all down.
這一切都在我內心積聚。來自學校的壓力，來自朋友的壓力，來自家人的壓力。我有太多的責任，我想做的就是放鬆、放鬆、理清思緒。當我無法放慢這一切時，我會感到沮喪和孤獨。

Different things bring it on, like being separated from my true love for over six months. Or how I want to be a certain kind of person, but I'm always messing up along the way. I think about choices I've made for my life so far, and wonder if I should have taken a different path. I feel stupid and fat, and not good enough for anyone. This huge weight is on my shoulders, and everyone seems to have a better life than I do.
不同的事情會導致這種情況，例如與我的真愛分離超過六個月。或者我多麼想成為某種人，但一路上我總是搞砸了。我思考迄今為止我為自己的人生所做的選擇，並想知道我是否應該走不同的路。我覺得自己又蠢又胖，我配不上任何人。這個巨大的擔子壓在我的肩上，每個人的生活似乎都比我好。

Sometimes I just lie in bed and cry for awhile, which actually helps a lot. I also write everything down in my diary...what happened, how I'm feeling. Then I watch the funniest video I have, and don't always laugh, but I feel better anyway. After that, I take a nap, and if it's late, sleep until morning.
有時我只是躺在床上哭一會兒，這實際上有很大幫助。我也會把一切都寫在日記裡……發生了什麼，我的感受如何。然後我看了我最有趣的視頻，並不總是笑，但無論如何我感覺好多了。之後我就小睡一下，如果很晚，就睡到早上。

I always feel better when I wake up and read what I wrote in my diary. I think about why I was upset, and replace my bad thoughts with better
當我醒來並閱讀日記中寫的內容時，我總是感覺更好。我思考為什麼我不高興，並用更好的想法取代壞的想法

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ones. My mind's eye wakes up and sees the world as it really is, and I remember what is true and right.
那些。我的心靈之眼醒來，看到了世界的本來面目，我記得什麼是真實和正確的。

I know I'm not crazy for feeling like this, and I know I won't feel down forever. The stress gets me down, but it's part of life. I've learned what works for me when it's time to just let go.
我知道我並沒有因為這種感覺而瘋狂，我也知道我不會永遠感到沮喪。壓力讓我情緒低落，但這是生活的一部分。我已經學會了當該放手時什麼對我有用。

~ ANONYMOUs, 18
~ 匿名者，18 歲

Sometimes changes occur in our families that are out of our
有時我們的家庭會發生一些超出我們能力範圍的變化

control. The
控制。這

separation and divorce of parents unfortunately takes place quite often, and our parents' problems suddenly become problems for us, too.
不幸的是，父母分居和離婚的情況經常發生，父母的問題突然也成為我們的問題。

Accepting Divorce...Accepting Me
接受離婚…接受我

I have hardly left the depths of being a teenager. The most challenging thing I have faced during my adolescence has not been trying to fit in, or breaking away from my mother, or expressing my "true self." It has been dealing with divorced parents.
我幾乎還沒有離開青少年時代的深處。我在青春期遇到的最具挑戰性的事情並不是試圖融入或脫離我的母親，或表達我的「真實的自我」。它一直在處理離婚的父母。

I never felt like their divorce was my fault, but the guilt that I have experienced throughout my childhood and early adolescent years has been immense. I remember feeling guilty whenever I did anything slightly wrong, such as leaving a glass on the counter, or leaving lights on in a room when I left. I always felt the need to be perfect so that my father and others around me would accept me.
我從來不覺得他們的離婚是我的錯，但我在童年和青少年早期所經歷的內疚是巨大的。我記得每當我做了一些輕微的錯誤時，例如把玻璃杯留在櫃檯上，或是離開時房間裡的燈還亮著，我就會感到內疚。我總是覺得需要變得完美，這樣我的父親和周圍的人才能接受我。

Now I have trouble accepting myself. I thought I needed to be someone else; someone better. To this day, I don't feel like my father accepts me or appreciates me for who I am. During the rapid growth of these incredible teenage years, this has been one of my biggest obstacles.
現在我很難接受自己。我以為我需要成為另一個人；更好的人。直到今天，我仍然覺得父親不接受我，也不欣賞我的本來面目。在這些令人難以置信的青少年時期的快速成長過程中，這是我最大的障礙之一。

However, the love of my mother, stepfather, and friends has given me strength and courage to face what I'm up against. Their love and never- ending support has been very important to me. They have taught me that the darkest part of the day is right before dawn, and that I should never, ever give up. I won't!
然而，母親、繼父和朋友的愛給了我力量和勇氣去面對我所面臨的困難。他們的愛和永無止境的支持對我來說非常重要。他們告訴我，黎明前是一天中最黑暗的時刻，我永遠不該放棄。我不會！

~ DEBRA, 14, LOVER OF FLYING COWS
~ DEBRA，14 歲，飛牛愛好者

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A Family Torn
一個破碎的家庭

I will never forget the night we found out that my mother was not returning from her "vacation." Our family was moving again because of my father's job. After months of packing, my mother told us she was going to take a brief vacation, then meet us in our new home. My father, sister, and I went ahead to settle in before the school year began.
我永遠不會忘記我們發現母親沒有從她的“假期”中回來的那天晚上。因為父親工作的原因，我們家又搬家了。經過幾個月的收拾行李後，我母親告訴我們她要去度過一個短暫的假期，然後在我們的新家與我們見面。我和父親、姊姊在學年開始前就開始安頓。

After our first week there, we received a postcard from Mom. She wrote that her trip had been delayed because she had gotten the flu, but added that she would be with us again in a week or two. A month passed, and there was still no sign of Mom. In a birthday card for my sister, who was turning eleven, Mom enclosed a letter to Dad. My sister assumed it was for her, read it, then angrily threw it down. She began to yell, “I hate her! She's not my mother anymore!" The note informed my father to take Mom off the insurance plans and other important records. She was not coming back to the family.
在那裡的第一週後，我們收到了媽媽寄來的明信片。她寫道，由於感染了流感，她的行程被推遲了，但她補充說，她將在一兩週內再次與我們在一起。一個月過去了，還是沒有媽媽的蹤影。媽媽在給我十一歲的妹妹的生日卡片中附上了一封寫給爸爸的信。我姐姐以為這是給她的，讀了它，然後憤怒地把它扔掉了。她開始大喊：「我恨她！她不再是我的母親了！ 」這張便條通知我父親將媽媽從保險計劃和其他重要記錄中刪除。她不會再回到家裡了。

I was totally blown away that Mom had decided to leave us! When Dad came home, I handed him the letter. I thought he would die right there in front of my eyes. He just kept repeating, "Oh, God! Oh, God! What am I supposed to do now?" He cried, and my sister was hysterical. I felt I had to be strong. I began to frantically clean the house. It was now going to be up to me to keep this family together. Suddenly I wasn't fifteen anymore. I had crossed over into adulthood in one moment's time. I had to take over as "Mom," and became responsible for many family tasks. We didn't eat dinner that night. Somehow, dinner was never the same.
媽媽決定離開我們，我感到非常震驚！爸爸回來後，我把信遞給他了。我以為他會死在我眼前。他只是不斷地重複：“哦，上帝！哦，上帝！我現在該怎麼辦？”他哭了，我姐姐歇斯底里。我覺得我必須堅強。我開始瘋狂地打掃房子。現在要由我來維持這個家庭的完整。突然間我不再是十五歲了。一瞬間我就跨入了成年。我不得不接替「媽媽」的角色，承擔起許多家庭事務。那天晚上我們沒有吃晚餐。不知何故，晚餐從來都不一樣。

~ RUTH, 24,
〜露絲，24 歲，

The Peacekeeper
和平衛士

EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATOR
幼兒教育家

My parents had a troubled marriage. For many years, my father had an affair with another woman, and it caused nightly tension in our household. Mom and Dad argued constantly, leaving my brother and me in the background hearing the family crash down around us. My older sisters
我父母的婚姻並不順利。多年來，我的父親與另一個女人有染，這導致我們家每晚氣氛緊張。爸爸媽媽不斷地爭吵，留下我和弟弟在背景中聽到周遭的家庭崩潰。我的姐姐們

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were involved in their own way too, and our family life was as troubled as the marriage itself.
我們也以自己的方式參與其中，我們的家庭生活和婚姻本身一樣陷入困境。

Mom finally decided that she wanted the marriage to end, but my father chose to cling to the image of the "family man"...nice house, good job, wife and kids. As Mom pushed to get out of the marriage, Dad insisted that she would never be able to support the children on her own. She stayed, and I spent my adolescence being the peacekeeper in the family, trying desperately to make everything seem okay. 

As I look at my own children now, and see their teenage years filled with choices, interests, and activities, I realize that I simply did not live that part of my life. I never made choices about what I wanted to do; I only made choices based on what I thought would make my family or others happy. My creativity could never be expressed, as I was too busy trying to keep the peace. I hope my children will make their own choices, express themselves, and not simply focus on pleasing their father or me. 

I lost my true teenage self because of my parents' problems. If your parents' marriage is broken and overflowing with conflict, remember that it's not up to you to repair it. 

~ MARY ANN, 41 

In many areas of the world today, war is a very real part of life. This woman remembers what it was like for her to leave her childhood behind in a time of war. 

Robbed By War 

War is a scary thing to deal with, no matter what your age. I was almost thirteen when the announcement came over the radio at my grandparents' house. The United States was now at war. It was December 7th, 1941, the day Pearl Harbor was bombed. 

There was nothing to like about World War II. I was mad at Hitler for starting it all. I especially hated that my father had enlisted in the Army 

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and went overseas. I cried and waved good-bye as he boarded the bus at the courthouse square in the center of our small town. He left behind a wife and four children. I was the oldest.
並去了海外。當他在我們小鎮中心的法院廣場上車時，我哭著揮手道別。他留下了妻子和四個孩子。我是最年長的。

We worried about a lot of things while he was gone. Would America be invaded by enemy troops? We had air raid drills at school to practice protecting ourselves, just in case bombs were dropped here in America. We worried about whether my father would return. Would I ever hear him sing those wonderful old songs again, with his eyes sparkling and his British accent filling the air? Food was rationed, and it was a time filled with hardship. In the midst of all this, my sister and I were soon to be teenagers. The changes that naturally occur with those years only seemed harder when war was always in the back of your mind.
他不在的時候我們擔心了很多事情。美國會被敵軍入侵嗎？我們在學校進行了空襲演習，練習保護自己，以防炸彈落在美國這裡。我們擔心父親是否會回來。我還能再聽見他雙眼閃閃發光，空氣中瀰漫著英國口音，唱起那些美妙的老歌嗎？食物是定量配給的，那是一段充滿艱辛的時期。在這一切之中，我和姐姐很快就進入了青少年時期。當戰爭總是在你的腦海中時，那些年自然發生的變化顯得更加困難。

The war eventually ended, and my father did return. Our family was never the same, though. While he was gone, I had to grow up fast, taking care of my family in an adult way at a time when I needed to just be me. I learned that I could be responsible for a lot and do a good job with whatever came my way, but war in the midst of those important teenage years robbed me of more than I care to remember.
戰爭最終結束了，我的父親也回來了。但我們的家庭從來都不是一樣的。當他離開時，我必須快速成長，以成人的方式照顧我的家人，而此時我需要做我自己。我了解到，我可以承擔很多責任，並做好所有遇到的事情，但在那些重要的青少年時期，戰爭奪走了我的東西，比我願意記住的還要多。

~ MARY, 67, MOM AND GRANDMA
~ 瑪麗，67 歲，媽媽和奶奶

Addiction to alcohol and drugs affects more than just the person using and abusing. This teenager tells of her experiences with an alcoholic father, followed by an older woman's story of pain and recovery for her family and her alcoholic mother.
酒精和毒品成癮不僅影響使用和濫用的人。這位青少年講述了她與酗酒父親的經歷，隨後一位年長婦女講述了她的家人和酗酒母親的痛苦和康復的故事。

Too Many Bottles
瓶子太多

My father drinks a quart of liquor every night. I have smelled it on his breath, but I never really knew how much he drank until I watched him tackle an entire bottle of gin, right before my eyes.
我父親每晚喝一夸脫酒。我從他的呼吸中聞到了這種味道，但我從來不知道他喝了多少，直到我親眼目睹他在我眼前喝下一整瓶杜松子酒。

I'm lying in my bedroom trying to go to sleep, and I can hear the sound of ice clinking in his glass as he prepares his next "potion" of gin
我躺在臥室裡想睡覺，當他準備下一杯杜松子酒時，我可以聽到他杯子裡的冰塊叮噹作響的聲音

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or vodka. He's in the living room, and he'll probably spend the rest of the night there, drinking and watching television, getting drunker by the hour. When I see him still there in the morning, I want to believe that he just fell asleep, but deep down I know that he has passed out cold.
或伏特加。他在客廳裡，很可能會在那裡度過剩下的夜晚，一邊喝酒一邊看電視，醉得越來越厲害。早上當我看到他還在那裡時，我想相信他只是睡著了，但內心深處我知道他已經冷了。

My mother sits quietly at the dining room table, working on crossword puzzles, reading novels, silently counting the empty liquor bottles in the trash. She would probably like to do fun things with Dad, but his drinking always comes first. The bottles always win out over my brother and me, too. Whenever we ask Dad to play catch with us in the backyard or to help us with our homework, he says no.
媽媽靜靜地坐在餐桌旁，做填字遊戲，看小說，默默地數著垃圾桶裡的空酒瓶。她可能想和爸爸一起做有趣的事情，但他喝酒總是第一位的。這些瓶子也總是勝過我和我的兄弟。每當我們要求爸爸在後院和我們一起玩接球遊戲或幫助我們做作業時，他都會拒絕。

I don't know what to do. I tried to talk to Dad about it, but he got mad and told me I was wrong. I saw a poster at school about Alateen meetings, but he'd probably kill me if he ever found out I went to one. I feel so alone. I tried drinking beer at a party once, but I didn't want to get caught. I sure don't want to end up like Dad. I'm never drinking again, no matter what my friends say.
我不知道該怎麼辦。我試著和爸爸談論這件事，但他很生氣並告訴我我錯了。我在學校看到一張關於阿拉廷會議的海報，但如果他發現我參加了會議，他可能會殺了我。我感到很孤單。有一次我嘗試在聚會上喝啤酒，但我不想被抓住。我當然不想落得像爸爸那樣的下場。不管我的朋友怎麼說，我再也不會喝酒了。

Sometimes I walk around the neighborhood at night, wishing that our family could be like the other families on our block. The bottles always win that one, too. I think I'll find out when the next Alateen meeting is, and go to it, and just listen. If Dad finds out I went, he'll just have to deal with it.
有時我晚上在附近散步，希望我們的家人能像我們街區的其他家庭一樣。瓶子也總是贏得那一瓶。我想我會知道下一次阿拉廷會議的時間，然後去參加，聽聽看。如果爸爸知道我去了，他就得處理這件事。

~JOSIE, 15
〜喬西，15 歲

A Family Disease
家庭病

When I was a child, life was very confusing. On the outside, my family looked like the "perfect, all-American family." Two parents, three kids, nice house. I had everything I could ever ask for, and felt loved. But on the inside, things were very strange. My mother often fell asleep right after dinner. She rarely offered to drive me anywhere, and didn't get involved in any of my activities. Her favorite thing to do was to shop, and she did it often. Shopping was the only thing we did together. My father worked long, hard hours, managing a company in the town where we lived. He
當我還是個孩子的時候，生活非常混亂。從外表上看，我的家庭看起來像是「完美的、典型的美國家庭」。兩個父母，三個孩子，漂亮的房子。我擁有了我想要的一切，並感受到了被愛。但在內部，事情卻很奇怪。我媽媽常吃完晚餐就睡著了。她很少主動開車送我去任何地方，也沒有參與我的任何活動。她最喜歡做的事情就是購物，而且她經常這樣做。購物是我們唯一一起做的事情。我父親工作時間長、辛苦，在我們居住的小鎮管理一家公司。他

bably had to work that hard just to pay my mother's outrageous bills!
我不得不這麼努力工作，只是為了支付我母親的巨額賬單！

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I'll never forget the day my father gathered my brothers and I together and told us why Mom had been acting so strange. "Your Mom is an alcoholic," he said. My heart sank. Everything I knew about alcoholism I had learned on television. I pictured drunks lying in the gutter. But as I thought about the events of the last few years, it all became clear. My mom was a "closet drinker." I never saw the bottles. She would even put booze in her mouthwash bottles to hide it from my dad.
我永遠不會忘記那天，父親把我和兄弟們聚集在一起，告訴我們為什麼媽媽表現得如此奇怪。 「你媽媽是個酒鬼，」他說。我的心沉了下去。我所知道的關於酗酒的一切都是從電視上學到的。我想像醉漢躺在陰溝裡。但當我回想過去幾年發生的事情時，一切都變得清晰了。我媽媽是個「秘密飲酒者」。我從來沒有見過瓶子。她甚至會把酒放進漱口水瓶裡，以免我爸發現。

This discovery was the beginning of a long, hard road to recovery for us all. Alcohol had put us in a dangerous family trance for years, and the problems didn't automatically end when the drinking stopped. It took a very long time for the denial to wear away and for my family to recognize how we each played a role in my mother's drinking.
這項發現是我們所有人漫長而艱難的康復之路的開始。多年來，酒精讓我們處於一種危險的家庭恍惚狀態，而且即使停止飲酒，問題也不會自動結束。經過很長時間，我的否認才消失，我的家人才意識到我們每個人在我母親酗酒中扮演了怎樣的角色。

Alcoholism, like all addictions, affects not only the one who is addicted, but family members and those they love. I thought I could control my Mom's drinking. I thought if I just said the right thing, or did the right thing, or made her happy, she would stop drinking. Not true. I was as powerless over alcoholism as she was.
就像所有成癮一樣，酗酒不僅影響成癮者，也影響家人和他們所愛的人。我以為我可以控制媽媽喝酒。我想如果我說對了，做了對的事，或是讓她開心，她就會戒酒。不正確。我和她一樣對酗酒無能為力。

When I was twenty-five years old, I finally began to realize how my mom's alcoholism had affected me and my ability to have honest, open relationships. I got help from friends and a therapist. I learned a lot about the disease and how it had tainted my life. I am proud to say that I have gotten out from under the nasty effects of alcoholism, and my mom has, too. Our family is now more honest and open than it has ever been.
當我二十五歲的時候，我終於開始意識到我媽媽的酗酒對我以及我建立誠實、開放的關係的能力有何影響。我得到了朋友和治療師的幫助。我對這種疾病以及它如何污染了我的生活有了很多了解。我很自豪地說我已經擺脫了酗酒的惡劣影響，我媽媽也是如此。我們的家庭現在比以往任何時候都更加誠實和開放。

If you or someone else you know is growing up in an alcoholic family, don't wait any longer to get help. Find out about Alateen and Al-Anon, or talk to an adult you trust. Learn about the disease and how it captures those who get stuck in its web. You are not alone. Even "perfect, all-Amer- ican families" sometimes have deep, dark secrets. Get free. Get some help.
如果您或您認識的其他人在酗酒家庭中長大，請不要再等待尋求協助。了解 Alateen 和 Al-Anon，或與您信任的成年人交談。了解這種疾病以及它如何捕捉那些陷入其網路的人。你並不孤單。即使是「完美的、純粹的美國家庭」有時也有深刻的、黑暗的秘密。獲得自由。尋求幫助。

~ ANONYMOUs, 38
~ 匿名者，38

Troubled kids walk on broken glass that their parents shattered. We need to give them shoes.
陷入困境的孩子走在父母打破的碎玻璃上。我們需要給他們鞋子。

Sarah, 15
莎拉，15 歲

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Addictions have a way of sneaking up on us, and we're usually unaware of the consequences until it's too late. This teen writes about her chemical ~ dependency the choices she made, and the denial of her problems. She closes by asking you to really look at your life instead of hiding from it.
成癮會悄悄地降臨到我們身上，我們通常不會意識到後果，直到為時已晚。這個青少年寫下了她的化學依賴、她所做的選擇以及對她問題的否認。她最後要求你真正審視自己的生活，而不是逃避它。

TRASHED TEST DUMMIES
廢棄的測試假人

I chose the life of the street.
我選擇了街頭生活。

I thought I could conquer it on my own two feet.
我以為我可以用我自己的兩隻腳來征服它。

I chose the life of a driven drunk.
我選擇了醉漢的生活。

Doing it 'cause I always felt free.
這樣做是因為我總是感到自由。

I drank 'til I was drunk, to hide my feelings.
我一直喝到醉，以掩飾自己的感情。

I drank 'til I was trashed, staring at walls and ceilings.
我一直喝到爛醉如泥，盯著牆壁和天花板。

It was fun until the day was done.
一直到這一天結束都很有趣。

But the next day, another drink...
但第二天，又喝了一杯…

Covering up so I didn't have to think.
掩蓋起來，讓我不用思考。

Trust me, it's a life many of us choose.
相信我，這是我們許多人選擇的生活。

It's a life we own, we just don't know whose.
這是我們自己的生活，只是我們不知道是誰的。

Where to turn, what to do,
轉向哪裡，做什麼，

Not ever really having a clue.
從來沒有真正有過任何線索。

Sit back, my friend. Look at your situation.
坐下來，我的朋友。看看你的情況。

This is life...it's not a dream or your imagination.
這就是人生……這不是夢，也不是你的想像。

~Sarah, 16
〜莎拉，16 歲

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The majority of teens with eating disorders are girls. Some girls will go to dangerous lengths to achieve a particular "look," or to make a statement to the people around them about a variety of issues. Meanwhile, their health reaches a dangerous point. There is no quick treatment for this illness, and the effects are long lasting, as this young woman explains.
大多數患有飲食失調的青少年是女孩。有些女孩會不遺餘力地追求某種特定的“外觀”，或向周圍的人就各種問題發表聲明。同時，他們的健康狀況達到了危險點。正如這位年輕女士所解釋的那樣，這種疾病沒有快速治療方法，而且影響是持久的。

My Friend, Food
我的朋友，食物

My eating disorder is what I remember most about my adolescence. It began when I was thirteen. I was healthy again by age fifteen, but the feelings and effects of that time remain with me today.
我的飲食失調是我青春期最記憶猶新的事。事情開始於我十三歲的時候。十五歲時我又恢復了健康，但那段時光的感受和影響至今仍縈繞在我的心頭。

It all began when we moved to a new town, far away from where I grew up. I was in the middle of junior high school. Food became my friend when I had to leave all my old friends behind. I was extremely lonely, and angry with my parents for making us move.
這一切都始於我們搬到一個遠離我長大的地方的新城鎮。我當時正在上國中。當我不得不離開所有老朋友時，食物變成了我的朋友。我非常孤獨，並且對父母讓我們搬家感到憤怒。

Eating helped make the pain go away. I began to gain extra weight, and my parents suggested that I go on a diet. It didn't work at first, but eventually, with exercise and counting calories, I lost weight and looked thin like everyone told me I should. People who hadn't paid any attention to me before started to comment on how good I looked. I continued to lose weight so people would keep saying those positive comments. At the time, I really didn't like myself. I didn't have the right clothes, I didn't have a boyfriend, I wasn't good at sports, and I didn't fit in with the "cool kids." My only chance at getting people to like me was to stay thin.
飲食有助於緩解疼痛。我的體重開始增加，我的父母建議我節食。一開始它並沒有起作用，但最終，透過運動和計算卡路里，我減肥了，看起來很瘦，就像每個人都告訴我的那樣。以前沒有註意到我的人開始評論我看起來有多好看。我繼續減肥，所以人們會不斷地說這些正面的評論。那時的我，我真的不喜歡自己。我沒有合適的衣服，沒有男朋友，不擅長運動，而且與「酷小孩」格格不入。我讓人們喜歡我的唯一機會就是保持苗條。

Eventually, I became too thin. My health was in danger, and I was hospitalized. I continued to get a lot of attention, which was what I craved. Focusing so much on my eating disorder also made me look at the conflicting things involved with becoming a teenager. I wanted to grow up and away from my parents, yet I was fearful of separating. I wanted to be the complete opposite of Mom, but I didn't know how to be different. I liked boys, but was afraid to get too close to them physically. I felt out of control of my emotions, which normally happens to teens, but I didn't
最後，我變得太瘦了。我的健康受到威脅，我住院了。我繼續得到很多關注，這就是我所渴望的。如此關注我的飲食失調也讓我看到了成為青少年所涉及的相互矛盾的事情。我想長大，離開父母，但又害怕分離。我想成為與媽媽完全相反的人，但我不知道如何與眾不同。我喜歡男孩，但又不敢在身體上與他們走得太近。我感覺自己的情緒無法控制，這通常發生在青少年身上，但我沒有

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want to ever feel out of control. Eating too much, then getting sick, helped me avoid those things for a long time. And I was still in control.
想要永遠感覺失控。吃太多，然後生病，幫助我很長一段時間避免這些事情。而且我仍然處於控制之中。

With time, counseling, and medical care, I started to get well. I finally looked at those teenage issues and allowed myself to feel the feelings. It was scary! But each time I faced a fear and took a risk to try something new, I learned more about myself. I learned that I was a lot stronger than many people believed. I could handle more than I thought I could. One of the most important lessons I learned was that how you feel about yourself is more important than how you look.
隨著時間的推移、諮詢和醫療護理，我開始康復。我終於看到了那些青少年問題，並讓自己感受到了這些感受。太可怕了！但每次我面對恐懼並冒險嘗試新事物時，我都會更了解自己。我發現我比許多人想像的要堅強得多。我能處理的事情比我想像的還要多。我學到的最重要的教訓之一是，你對自己的感覺比你的外表更重要。

Sometimes life is painful, but friends and family can be helpful if you just ask. It can be really hard to grow up...kind of like getting stuck in a maze and not having a clue how to get out. One of the best things you can do is learn to trust yourself, and listen to what your heart is telling you. It's part of you, and it won't take you anywhere you don't have the strength to go.
有時生活是痛苦的，但如果你開口詢問，朋友和家人可能會提供幫助。成長真的很難……有點像是陷入迷宮，不知道如何出去。你能做的最好的事情之一就是學會相信自己，傾聽你的內心在告訴你什麼。它是你的一部分，它不會帶你去任何你沒有力量去的地方。

~ERIN, 23, COLLEGE STUDENT
~ERIN，23 歲，大學生

A parent's illness or medical problems of your own can suddenly change the patterns, the routines, and the stability of your life. Look for the lessons learned in the following stories. Through pain comes strength....
父母的疾病或您自己的健康問題可能會突然改變您生活的模式、慣例和穩定性。從以下故事中尋找經驗教訓。經歷痛苦才能獲得力量.....

Seeing Red
見紅

The bright red lights on the ambulance circled around and around our front yard, illuminating the trunks of the old maple trees with every turn. It was the middle of the night, and my Dad was being rushed to a medical center forty miles away. He had been bleeding internally throughout the evening, and the situation had gone from bad to worse. My older brother was away at college, and my mother was torn about leaving me behind, all alone in the house, all alone with my emotions. I was fourteen at the time, but I felt quite grown up and suddenly very responsible. I assured Mom that I would be all right, then watched her climb into the back of the ambulance to be with Dad.
救護車上明亮的紅燈在我們的前院轉了一圈又一圈，每次轉彎都照亮了老楓樹的樹幹。那是半夜，父親被送往四十英里外的醫療中心。整個晚上他都在內出血，情況越來越嚴重。我的哥哥去上大學了，我的母親很傷心，因為要把我一個人留在家裡，獨自承受我的情緒。當時我十四歲，但我覺得自己已經長大了，突然變得很有責任感。我向媽媽保證我會沒事的，然後看著她爬進救護車後座和爸爸在一起。

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I looked out my bedroom window as the ambulance drove across our front yard and away into the darkness. I did not know if my Dad would return. I worried that the driver would go too fast and have an accident on some distant highway. I also worried that he would go too slow and not get to the emergency room on time. The bright red lights were gone, but the scene was already etched in my mind. I'm certain that I didn't fall back to sleep that night.
當救護車駛過我們的前院並消失在黑暗中時，我向臥室窗外望去。我不知道爸爸是否會回來。我擔心司機開得太快，在遠處的高速公路上發生事故。我還擔心他走得太慢而不能準時到達急診室。鮮紅的燈光消失了，但那一幕已經深深地印在我的腦海裡了。我確信那天晚上我沒有再睡著。

Dad was in the hospital for over a month. Throughout my teens and well into my adult years, he was hospitalized many times. We lived over an hour away from the hospital, yet every evening when Mom returned home from work and I came home from school, the two of us would drive to the hospital to visit Dad. We ate dinner in the hospital cafeteria, and I did my homework in the car by the light of a flashlight. Our family life had changed for good, but Dad was alive. Mom shouldered many extra burdens, while Dad suffered in his own way, too. It was also a difficult time for me, but I still enjoyed my teenage years.
爸爸住院一個多月了。從我十幾歲到成年，他多次住院。我們住的地方離醫院一個多小時的路程，但每天晚上媽媽都下班回家，我放學回家，我們兩個人都會開車去醫院看爸爸。我們在醫院食堂吃晚飯，我在車上用手電筒的光做作業。我們的家庭生活永遠改變了，但爸爸還活著。媽媽承擔了許多額外的負擔，而爸爸也有自己的痛苦。這對我來說也是一段艱難的時期，但我仍然很享受我的青少年時光。

Many years have passed since those ambulance lights cut through the darkness. Dad survived years of medical care, and is healthy today. I've had to reassure Mom at least a hundred times that it was okay to leave me alone that night. I've also learned that family life can literally change overnight, and that a teenage girl left alone in her room on a frightening night of crisis can learn from it, change directions, and move on.
自從那些救護車燈劃破黑暗以來，已經過去很多年了。爸爸經歷了多年的醫療護理，現在很健康。我必須向媽媽保證至少一百次，說那天晚上讓我一個人待著是可以的。我還了解到，家庭生活實際上可以在一夜之間發生改變，在一個可怕的危機之夜，一個被獨自留在房間裡的十幾歲的女孩可以從中學習，改變方向，然後繼續前進。

~ DEB, 40
〜DEB，40

Mom's Limits, Mom's Strength
媽媽的極限，媽媽的力量

Several years ago, my mother became physically disabled. At first her doctor told her that there was nothing wrong, that it was "all in her head." Eventually she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. People finally knew that she was not faking her symptoms. It was very real, especially for her and those of us in her family. Mom took it hard at first, but was thankful that she knew what the problem was.
幾年前，我的母親身體殘疾。起初，她的醫生告訴她沒有什麼問題，這「都是她腦子裡的問題」。最後她被診斷出患有多發性硬化症。人們終於知道她的症狀不是假裝的。這是非常真實的，尤其是對她和我們這些她的家人來說。媽媽一開始很難接受，但很慶幸她知道問題出在哪裡。

My Mom has become a very strong person emotionally, and is determined to overcome her handicaps. Many people look up to her because of
我的媽媽在情感上已經成為一個非常堅強的人，並且決心克服她的障礙。很多人仰慕她是因為

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her mental strength, and in spite of being held back by her physical body, she is still able to help many people in need. Mom is often completely exhausted, but never turns away a friend who needs to talk. Just watching her would give anyone strength. Some days she can barely move her legs, but she still gets up and cheerfully greets my brothers and me in the morning.
她的精神力量強大，儘管受到身體的阻礙，她仍然能夠幫助許多需要幫助的人。媽媽常常精疲力盡，但從來不會拒絕需要傾訴的朋友。只要看著她就會給任何人力量。有時她的腿幾乎不能動，但她仍然會在早上起床並愉快地向我和我的兄弟們打招呼。

Living with my mother has taught me many lessons. We take many things for granted when we are healthy. I respect Mom more, seeing how she handles her limits each day. She is a truly special person.
和媽媽一起生活給了我很多教訓。當我們健康時，我們認為許多事情是理所當然的。我更尊敬媽媽，看到她每天如何處理自己的極限。她是一個真正特別的人。

~ AMY, 16
〜艾米，16 歲

When a young person dies, it all feels wrong and out of order somehow. This person learned an important lesson after her friend died....
當一個年輕人去世時，不知何故，一切都感覺不對勁、不正常。這個人在她的朋友去世後吸取了重要的教訓...

Losing a Friend Forever
永遠失去一個朋友

I moved to a new town in the middle of fifth grade, leaving my best friend behind. We wrote to each other a lot at first, then occasionally, and eventually we lost touch. I still went back to my old house on weekends to visit my mother, but my old friend and I had lost our connection somehow.
五年級中期，我搬到了一個新城鎮，留下了我最好的朋友。一開始我們常寫信，後來偶爾寫信，最後就失去了聯繫。週末我仍然回老家探望母親，但我和我的老朋友不知怎的失去了聯繫。

One day this summer, my stepmother came into my bedroom and asked if I had known this girl, Leanne. I said yes, and asked if Leanne had called me. My stepmother just shook her head, then told me that Leanne had been hit by a car, and had died the next day. Suddenly, boys, clothes, and cliques weren't important any more. All I could think about was how fragile life was, and how we never know when it might end.
今年夏天的某一天，我的繼母走進我的臥室，問我是否認識這個女孩，莉安。我說是的，並問莉安是否打電話給我。我的繼母只是搖搖頭，然後告訴我莉安被車撞了，隔天就死了。突然之間，男孩、衣服和派係都不再重要了。我所能想到的就是生命是多麼脆弱，我們永遠不知道它什麼時候會結束。

I went to Leanne's funeral, and realized how pathetic it was to have stopped communicating with her. Now I could never be in touch with her. All that remained was a vacant body. Every tear that I shed that day represented one of her many wonderful traits.
我參加了莉安的葬禮，意識到停止與她交流是多麼可悲。現在我再也聯絡不到她了。剩下的只是一具空蕩蕩的身體。那天我流下的每一滴眼淚都代表了她眾多美妙的特質之一。

Stay in touch with those who are important to you. You just never know....
與對您重要的人保持聯繫。你只是永遠不知道...

~ERIKA, 13
~艾莉卡，13 歲

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Young people and adults often have very strong feelings about teen pregnancy. Life for the pregnant teen literally changes overnight. Tough decisions need to be made; relationships with parents and friends change. This writer tells of her feelings about her best friend's situation.
年輕人和成年人通常對青少年懷孕有非常強烈的感受。懷孕少女的生活確實在一夜之間發生了變化。需要做出艱難的決定；與父母和朋友的關係發生變化。作者講述了她對她最好的朋友的處境的感受。

Respect
尊重

I am fourteen years old, and my best friend, Michelle, is pregnant. She had sex with some guy, and now she's pregnant. How could she? We were supposed to be friends forever, graduate together, go to college together, Be in each other's weddings, and then have babies. Now it's all messed up.
我十四歲了，我最好的朋友米歇爾懷孕了。她和某個男人發生了性關係，現在她懷孕了。她怎麼可以？我們應該是永遠的朋友，一起畢業，一起上大學，參加彼此的婚禮，然後生孩子。現在一切都亂了。

My Mom called me into her room the other day. She said she wanted to talk about what happened to Michelle. I couldn't look at her. She said, "Boys don't respect girls who have sex with them. Do you understand?" "Yeah, I understand," I said.
有一天，我媽媽把我叫到她的房間。她說她想談談米歇爾的遭遇。我無法看她。她說：“男孩不尊重與他們發生性關係的女孩。你明白嗎？” 「是的，我明白，」我說。

I left as soon as I could and went to my room. I tried to understand, but I don't. Does this mean that Dad didn't respect Mom when they had sex and made me? Do girls respect boys they have sex with? Can two people who are not married respect each other if they have sex? And what about love? Is respect more important than love?
我盡快離開並回到自己的房間。我試著去理解，但我不明白。這是否意味著爸爸在發生性關係並創造了我時不尊重媽媽？女孩尊重與她們發生性關係的男孩嗎？兩個未婚的人發生性行為可以互相尊重嗎？那麼愛情呢？尊重比愛更重要嗎？

I need to talk to somebody about this. It's all very confusing. The only thing I know is that I'm glad I'm not Michelle.
我需要和某人談談這件事。這一切都非常令人困惑。我唯一知道的是我很高興我不是米歇爾。

~ TATIANA, 14
~ 塔蒂亞娜，14 歲

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The number of rapes reported in the U.S. is increasing. This writer did not know the girl who was attacked in her neighborhood, but she still felt the effects of the crime.
美國通報的強暴案數量正在增加。筆者並不認識在她家附近遭到攻擊的女孩，但她仍感受到了犯罪行為的影響。

After Dark
天黑後

A girl was raped on my street last night. She was thirteen years old, just like me. My mother read about it in the newspaper this morning, and as I left for school, she gave me an extra hug and told me to be careful.
昨晚，一個女孩在我家的街上被強暴了。她和我一樣，十三歲。我媽媽今天早上在報紙上讀到了這件事，當我去上學時，她給了我一個額外的擁抱，並告訴我要小心。

Suddenly my neighborhood feels different. I always thought it was safe to walk the four blocks home from school, safe to walk home after dark from my friends' houses or from the neighborhood center where I go a lot. Now I'll have to be looking all around, wondering if there is someone hiding nearby, ready to hurt me like he hurt that girl. I wonder if she always thought our street was safe too, and I wonder what must be going through her head today. I wasn't raped, but I still feel like something was stolen from me, from our neighborhood, from women everywhere last night.
突然間，我的鄰居感覺不一樣了。我一直認為從學校步行四個街區回家是安全的，天黑後從朋友家或我經常去的社區中心步行回家是安全的。現在我必須環顧四周，想知道是否有人躲在附近，準備像傷害那個女孩一樣傷害我。我想知道她是否一直認為我們的街道也很安全，我想知道她今天腦子裡一定在想什麼。我沒有被強姦，但我仍然感覺到昨晚有什麼東西從我身上、從我們的鄰居身上、從世界各地的女人身上被偷走了。

I really don't need this on my mind right now...there are plenty of other things for me to think about. I'm trying to get my grades up, because I'll start high school next year and I want to do well. I'm dealing with changes in my body that feel strange. I want to go out with a boy I like, but Mom says I'm too young for that. One of my friends started smoking last week, and I really want to help her quit. Why do all these things have to happen at the same time?
我現在真的不需要考慮這個……還有很多其他事情需要我考慮。我正在努力提高我的成績，因為我明年將開始高中，我想取得好成績。我正在應對身體的奇怪變化。我想和一個我喜歡的男孩出去，但媽媽說我太年輕了。我的一個朋友上週開始吸煙，我真的很想幫她戒菸。為什麼所有這些事情必須同時發生？

And why did that guy have to rape that girl and give me more to worry about? She was only thirteen, just like me.
為什麼那個傢伙要強姦那個女孩並讓我更加擔心？她和我一樣只有十三歲。

~ CARMEN, 13, MAD AND SAD
~ 卡門，13 歲，瘋狂又悲傷

177

Quietly Fighting Back
默默反擊

It is one of those rainy days in New York City. People are huddled inside their raincoats like turtles in their shells. The subway is crowded as I travel to school that morning, but I find a seat way in the back. All the seats are soon taken, and many people are standing up, holding onto the metal rings that hang from the ceiling. I pull out my big, heavy science book to study for an exam. By concentrating really hard on the reading in front of me, I can avoid eye contact with the other passengers.
這是紐約市的下雨天之一。人們像烏龜縮在殼裡一樣，擠在雨衣裡。那天早上我去學校的時候，地鐵裡很擁擠，但我還是在後面找到了一個座位。所有的座位很快就被佔滿了，許多人站了起來，抓住了從天花板上垂下來的金屬環。我拿出我那又大又重的科學書來準備考試。透過專注閱讀眼前的內容，我可以避免與其他乘客目光接觸。

As I sit there reading my textbook, I am vaguely aware of the normal rattling and shaking of the train. I also notice that something is jiggling in front of me, a little bit above my head. With my head still facing down at the book in my lap. I raise my eyes to see what the jiggling is. What I see is the penis of the man who is holding the metal ring right above me. His large raincoat is shielding his private parts from everyone else's eyes but mine.
當我坐在那裡讀課本時，我隱約感覺到火車正常的嘎嘎聲和搖晃聲。我還注意到有東西在我面前晃動，就在我頭頂上方一點點的地方。我的頭仍然低著，看著放在腿上的書。我抬起眼睛看看晃動的是什麼。我看到的是那個在我上方拿著金屬環的男人的陰莖。他的大雨衣遮住了他的私處，不讓其他人看到，除了我。

At first I am scared, thinking of the threat of it all. What else is he planning to do to me? Will he drag me from the subway train and rape me? My face turns bright red, and I pretend to concentrate all the more on my science book. After two or three stops of the train, I realize that he's not going to do anything else. He is just waiting for my reaction. I decide not to have any outward reaction, but in my mind I am thinking, “All I want to do is take this big, heavy textbook and bam! Slam it closed on his penis!"
一開始我很害怕，想到這一切的威脅。他還想對我做什麼？他會把我從地鐵拖出來強姦我嗎？我的臉漲得通紅，假裝更專注於我的科學書。火車停了兩三站後，我意識到他不會再做任何事了。他只是在等我的反應。我決定不做出任何外在反應，但內心卻在想：“我想做的就是拿著這本又大又重的課本，然後砰！”將它猛地關在他的陰莖上！

After a few more stops, the man gets bored. He draws his raincoat together, and gets off the train. I am laughing so hard inside I can barely contain it. It is then that I realize a great truth: Fighting back starts in your head.
又停了幾站後，男子感到無聊。他拉起雨衣，下了火車。我內心笑得很厲害，幾乎無法控制。就在那時，我意識到一個偉大的真理：反擊始於你的頭腦。

~ Po, 42
~ 寶，42 歲

178

Too Much to Handle
太多難以處理

By the age of eleven I had been molested by my brother, survived years of life with my alcoholic mother, then had to deal with my father's death. So when I was diagnosed with a "stress-related illness" during my first year in college, I wasn't surprised.
十一歲時，我被哥哥猥褻，與酗酒的母親一起度過了多年的生活，然後不得不面對父親的去世。因此，當我在大學第一年被診斷出患有「與壓力有關的疾病」時，我並不感到驚訝。

I was such a good actress that I fooled everyone time and again. It looked like I was doing fine on the surface, but I still buried everything deep inside of me. Flashbacks of my childhood were showing up more often, I was angry all the time, and I just wanted to die. It seemed like the only solution. I ended up in the emergency room, though, drinking this charcoal stuff to save my life. I was then placed in the "psycho ward," but I fooled them all again, and was released. To what? My anger, and my pattern of putting everyone else's problems before my own. I just couldn't be everything to everyone any longer.
我是一個非常好的演員，一次又一次地愚弄所有人。表面上看起來一切都很好，但我仍然把一切都埋在了內心深處。我的童年回憶越來越多，我一直很生氣，我只想死。這似乎是唯一的解決方案。不過，我最後進了急診室，喝了這種木炭來救我的命。然後我被關進了“精神病房”，但我又愚弄了他們，然後就被釋放了。為了什麼？我的憤怒，以及我將其他人的問題置於自己問題之上的模式。我不能再成為每個人的一切了。

One day during a support group, I heard a woman talk about her daughter's suicide. Hearing her story helped me realize that absolutely no problem is worth dying over, no matter how big or how small. That one person helped me more than all the weeks of hospitalization and months of medication I had had. I will now take life as it comes. I will voice my anger, and not put others first every time. I need to decide where I want to go in my life, and I'm willing to put some work into it. Life really is a journey, not just a destination, and even if you are hit with way too many tough times as a teen, you can pull through and take charge. You and your life are worth it! 

~ KELLIE, 24 

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When we find ourselves in the middle of a tragic situation, it is often difficult to see anything positive to hold on to. However, lessons we learn in the darkest hours of our lives are sometimes the most important ones. The following story is about a young minister who learns about the circle of life through the death of a friend. 

Life, Death, and New Life 

Today I felt life inside of me for the first time. A little flutter, a teeny kick. I am pregnant with my first child. 

Today I was also carried to a new level of understanding about life. Two people in our church have a son who is my age. His wife is expecting their third child; their baby is due a month before ours. He collapsed this morning on the way to the grocery store. The doctors think it was a cerebral hemorrhage. 

He is dying. We gathered in the hospital room and gazed at him...over six feet of strong, beautiful man. We caressed him and held him. His parents remembered the other times when they had to let go of him...the first day of school, graduation, when he moved away from home, his wedding. 

We cried. We waited. Mother, father, wife, minister, and unborn babies. We stood there in that holy place between life and death and prayed out loud.... 

Oh God who gives us breath of life, 

Give us the courage to let go of him. 

Help us to always remember to say, 

"Into Your hands we offer this breath." 

Simply by asking, we were filled with love and peace. We let go, and the young man died. 

This experience was the greatest gift I have ever received. Life now seems more real to me. Death seems more real, too. When I get scared and 

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look over my shoulder to see which one is closest, I see Jesus. He smiles and says, "Don't worry. We are all in this together." You and I are part of the circle of life and love. 

~ REBECCA, 30 

The Flame in Me 

I walked into the temple Friday night, depressed over many things in my life. Everyone was exchanging Sabbath greetings, and I managed to smile politely. As the service began, I sat down and mumbled songs with the rest of the congregation. The day's events replayed in my head. 

I had cried in school; that hadn't happened in years. But no one seemed to notice or care that I was upset. One friend was willing to listen, but I didn't want to dump all my problems on him. So I didn't say anything this time, and just let him hug me. He told me a few jokes in an attempt to cheer me up. The service seemed to go on forever as I thought about all these things. 

Saturday morning, when I came back to Temple, I felt guilty about my lack of concentration the night before. Sad at school; guilty at Temple; changes happening everywhere I turned. I decided to really focus on the melodies of the songs being sung, and even the familiar chanting took on a life of its own. I began to sway with the music, and when I opened my eyes, I saw that many others around the temple were swaying, too. I wasn't as depressed when I left for home. 

I had to return with my Dad later that night. As I walked into the dark sanctuary, nothing could be seen except the small, constant light above the Torah. An eternal flame. As I stared up at the flame, I could feel it burning in me. I was going to be all right. 

~ ELLIE, 16 

The Men in 

Our Lives 

ני. 

印 

Messages from Dads and Men Who Father 

M ost of what we know about being women, we learn from the females in our lives. But each of us has both feminine and mas- culine energy within us. It is important to remember that the men in our world have wisdom that can support and empower women as well.
我們對女性的大部分了解都是從生活中的女性身上學到的。但我們每個人內心都同時擁有女性能量和男性能量。重要的是要記住，我們世界上的男性也擁有支持女性並賦予女性權力的智慧。

Daddy. Dad. Poppa. Think about your father for just a moment. Bring a
爸爸。爸爸。爸爸。想一想你的父親。帶一個

picture of him into your mind, and notice how you feel. For many of us, thinking about our relationships with our dads stirs us up. Reflecting on the emotional bond between fathers and daughters may leave us feeling a sense of longing for a relationship we don't have, or a tender thankfulness for the love we feel with our dads. Our fathers are the very first male role models we have. By observing them and the other significant men in our lives, we learn about maleness and how women and men relate, and we begin to recognize and develop our own masculine energy.
他的形像出現在你的腦海中，並注意你的感受。對我們許多人來說，一想到與父親的關係就會讓我們興奮不已。反思父親和女兒之間的情感紐帶可能會讓我們感受到對我們沒有的關係的渴望，或對我們對父親的愛感到溫柔的感激。我們的父親是我們最早的男性榜樣。透過觀察他們和我們生活中其他重要的男性，我們了解男性特徵以及女性和男性的關係，並開始認識和發展我們自己的男性能量。

These messages from dads reflect the love and mutual respect that can exist between fathers and daughters. If you don't have a dad or a father figure in your life, look for an adult male mentor. Open your heart to the kind of deep connection that fathers and daughters can share.
這些來自父親的信息反映了父親和女兒之間存在的愛和相互尊重。如果你的生活中沒有父親或父親形象，那就找一位成年男性導師。敞開心扉，感受父親和女兒可以分享的那種深厚的連結。

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Lessons in the Fog
霧中的教訓

We set out late to drive you to your girlfriend's birthday party, and didn't give much thought to the foot of snow on the ground from last week's storm. The weather was warmer now, mostly wet and foggy. We both had a rough idea of how to get to your friend's house: it was set back from the road, on a hill, on the left, somewhere after you had driven for a long time.
我們出發很晚才開車送你去參加你女朋友的生日聚會，並沒有過多考慮上週暴風雨造成的地面積雪。現在天氣暖和了，大部分地區潮濕且有霧。我們都對如何到達你朋友的家有一個粗略的想法：它遠離道路，在一座小山上，在左邊，在你開了很長時間的車之後的某個地方。

It was too dark for you to see me smiling at the fog and at our slow pace. This would give us some time to talk, something I worried might become rare as you began your fourteenth year. We crept through the fog, watching for house lights, deer in the road, and for ruts that hadn't been plowed this far away from town. We continued uphill with a bit of confidence, but mostly were afraid to slow down and lose our momentum. Finally, we were both convinced that we were lost. We stopped driving.
天太黑了，你看不見我對著霧氣和我們緩慢的步伐微笑。這會給我們一些時間來交談，我擔心當你開始你的第十四年時，這種情況可能會變得罕見。我們在濃霧中躡手躡腳地爬行，觀察房屋的燈光、路上的鹿，以及離城鎮這麼遠的地方還沒有犁過的車轍。我們帶著一點信心繼續上坡，但大多數人都害怕放慢速度並失去動力。最後，我們都確信我們迷路了。我們停止開車。

How was it that we made all the right turns, but now found ourselves in the midst of this foggy nowhere? We rolled down the windows to try to get our bearings. Outside it was beautiful, almost magical, like a scene in a storybook forest. But we were sitting in a muddy mistake! Now our simple evening errand was turning into an adventure. We laughed, in spite of nearly getting stuck, got the car turned around, and headed back to correct our mistake. Eventually we found the right house. You joined your friends at the party, and I left for home with time to think.
為什麼我們都轉了正確的彎，現在卻發現自己身處這片迷霧重重的地方？我們搖下車窗試圖確定方向。外面很美麗，幾乎神奇，就像故事書森林裡的場景。但我們陷入了一個泥濘的錯誤！現在我們晚上簡單的差事變成了一場冒險。儘管差點被卡住，我們還是笑了，把車掉頭，然後回去糾正我們的錯誤。最後我們找到了合適的房子。你和你的朋友一起參加了聚會，而我則回家了，有時間思考。

I love that we're alike in so many ways...we are both talkers, and we share similar temperaments. We even sense how the other is thinking sometimes. Watching you through the last fourteen years has given me a chance to grow up again, and to see it this time through the eyes of a girl. The issues seem to be mostly the same...feeling uncertain and confused, with many chances for mistakes.
我喜歡我們在很多方面都很相似……我們都是健談的人，而且我們有著相似的性情。有時我們甚至能感覺到對方在想什麼。看著你走過過去的十四年，讓我有機會再次成長，這次是透過一個女孩的眼睛來看待它。問題似乎大多相同......感覺不確定和困惑，有很多出錯的機會。

I've watched you ease your way out of childhood, but I still find myself trying to protect the little girl you used to be. And I care a lot more about what you think of me. I realize that we're heading for the days when as adults we will be equals, but for now, if I can be your hero sometimes, that's great! When we put our heads together, like tonight in the fog, we can make mistakes, yet end up in the right place after all. I know
我看著你輕鬆地走出童年，但我仍然發現自己在努力保護你曾經的小女孩。我更在乎你對我的看法。我意識到我們正走向成年人平等的日子，但現在，如果我有時能成為你的英雄，那就太好了！當我們齊心協力時，就像今晚在霧中一樣，我們可能會犯錯誤，但最終會到達正確的地方。我知道

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I'm glad for our adventure. It gave us both a chance to learn from each other, laugh, turn ourselves around, and get on with the party.
我為我們的冒險感到高興。它給了我們一個互相學習、歡笑、扭轉局面並繼續參加聚會的機會。

~ ANONYMOUS, 46
~ 匿名，46 歲

My Daughters, My Friends
我的女兒們，我的朋友們

My daughters are wonderful! They are smart, funny, energetic, and have a keen social awareness. They are also stubborn, individualistic, and often seem to be from another planet, not just another generation! But I do feel that our family continues to grow in affection and knowledge the longer we know one another.
我的女兒們太棒了！他們聰明、風趣、精力充沛、具有敏銳的社會意識。他們也很固執、個人主義，而且常常看起來來自另一個星球，而不僅僅是另一個星球！但我確實覺得，隨著我們彼此認識的時間越長，我們一家人的感情和知識就會不斷增長。

When I look back over the years, I wonder...what part did I really play in my daughters' lives? I thought I knew what to do and what not to do. Don't be too sparing or too generous, too strict or too indulgent, don't expect over-achievement, but don't let them be lazy. I promised myself I would not be an “absentee father." But real life was not what I had expected, and I slipped into the pattern of letting my wife do it all. I found it easy to escape into my busy work life. I made fun of my daughters' favorite music, urged them to get better grades at school, and forgot about letting them seek their own interests. Then something changed. When I found that it was useless to make fun of The Beatles and push my daughters to like classical music, I started listening to their music with them. I stopped being such an authority figure in their lives when I found that my daughters were actually asking reasonable questions and weren't just out to break my rules. I began to enjoy being with them, and started to be a "student" rather than a "teacher" in many ways. None of this changed rapidly, and there are still issues that divide us. My youngest likes to watch David Letterman each night, and I can't stand that show, but I feel it is a tribute to us both if this is the worst thing I can say!
當我回顧這些年時，我想知道…我在女兒們的生活中真正扮演了什麼角色？我以為我知道什麼該做，什麼不該做。不要太節儉，也不要太慷慨，不要太嚴格，也不要太放縱，不要期望有過高的成就，但也不要讓他們偷懶。我向自己保證，我不會成為一個「缺席的父親」。最喜歡的音樂，鼓勵她們在學校取得更好的成績，而忘記了讓她們追求自己的興趣，然後當我發現取笑披頭士樂隊並迫使我的女兒們去做這些事情是沒有用的。像古典音樂一樣，我開始和她們一起聽她們的音樂，當我發現我的女兒們實際上在提出合理的問題，而不僅僅是打破我的規則時，我不再是她們生活中的權威人物。這是我能說的最糟糕的事情，我覺得這是對我們兩個的致敬！

My daughters and I are friends now. We're not just family. We walk and jog together, we help each other around our homes and yards, and love to discuss books and movies. We are a blessed group of people who enjoy being with each other more than we enjoy our friends. Who could ask for anything more?
我和我的女兒們現在是朋友了。我們不僅僅是一家人。我們一起散步、慢跑，在家裡和院子裡互相幫助，喜歡討論書籍和電影。我們是一群幸福的人，我們享受彼此相處勝過享受我們的朋友。誰還能要求更多？

~Jud, 67, GENERAL INTERNIST
~Jud，67 歲，一般內科醫生

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My Daughters Drive the Cars!
我的女兒們開車！

I'm the father of triplet, preteen daughters. When our three daughters were born, most people said, "Great!" or "How nice!," but I could see in their eyes a degree of pity because I didn't have at least one son. There is still a strong belief in our society that your family is somehow incomplete until you have a son. I wouldn't trade a daughter for half a dozen sons, and I sure wouldn't think of trading six daughters for one son! I've seen sons. I was a son. I know what we can be like.
我是三胞胎、青春期前女兒的父親。當我們的三個女兒出生時，大多數人都說：“太好了！”或“真好！”，但我可以在他們的眼中看到一定程度的憐憫，因為我至少沒有一個兒子。我們的社會仍然堅信，除非你有一個兒子，否則你的家庭在某種程度上是不完整的。我不會用一個女兒換六個兒子，我更不會想到要用六個女兒換一個兒子！我見過兒子。我是一個兒子。我知道我們會是什麼樣子。

But still, I'm worried for my daughters. To be a female in American society today is to be "genderly challenged," in the same way that one who is blind is considered "visually challenged." Maybe it's more accurate to say that females are "sexually challenged." Lord knows that most females have to fight off the sexual challenges of testosterone-driven men. I'm more worried, though, about the strong message that is beaten daily into the minds of men and women and boys and girls. This message is that boys are best and girls are dependent. There are countless books where young men rescue helpless maidens, movies where male actors get the mega-millions and actresses get half as much, television commercials where the men drive the cars and the women do the laundry. I refuse to raise laundresses! My daughters will drive the cars!
但我仍然為我的女兒們擔心。在當今的美國社會中，身為女性就要受到“性別挑戰”，就像盲人被認為是“視力障礙”一樣。也許更準確的說法是女性「受到性挑戰」。天知道，大多數女性必須對抗睪固酮驅動的男性的性挑戰。不過，我更擔心的是每天在男人、女人、男孩和女孩的腦海中傳達的強烈訊息。這個訊息是男孩是最好的，女孩是依賴的。有無數的書籍講述了年輕人拯救無助的少女的故事，有無數的電影講述了男演員獲得數百萬美元而女演員只得到一半的收入，有無數的電視廣告講述了男人開車、女人洗衣服的故事。我拒絕養洗衣女工！我的女兒們會開車！

My girls are going to be presidents or senators or business tycoons, not because that would mean they were truly successful in life, but because they would all be good presidents, senators, or business tycoons! They might be poets or scholars or artists. And I hope they spend some time being moms too, because being a parent means fun and snuggles and good times. Mostly I hope that I'm raising happy, secure, loving humans who will survive the craziness of American society today, and having survived it, will in turn raise daughters, or maybe even sons, who will truly see the wonder and worth of having and being daughters.
我的女兒們將成為總統、參議員或商業大亨，不是因為這意味著她們在生活中真正成功，而是因為她們都會成為優秀的總統、參議員或商業大亨！他們可能是詩人、學者或藝術家。我希望他們也能花一些時間當媽媽，因為為人父母意味著樂趣、依偎和美好時光。大多數情況下，我希望我正在撫養快樂、安全、充滿愛心的人類，他們能夠在當今美國社會的瘋狂中生存下來，並且在生存下來後，將反過來撫養女兒，甚至可能是兒子，他們將真正看到擁有的奇蹟和價值並成為女兒。

~JOHN, 43
〜約翰，43 歲

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Remembering
回憶

Dearest Daughter,
最親愛的女兒，

If I made any positive contributions to your incredible journey to womanhood, I can tell you that they were more from good fortune than from wisdom. I probably started out on the wrong foot because my rusty old generation wanted me to believe that it was easier for a father to relate to a son than to a daughter. When your older brother came along, fatherhood was all that I had expected it to be. I could relate to this little male. Then you entered the world. The idea of sharing my life with this small female person was challenging, to say the least! But it was still exciting, and I learned faster than you did at that point in our lives.
如果我對你令人難以置信的女性成長之旅做出了任何積極的貢獻，我可以告訴你，這些貢獻更多來自於好運，而不是來自智慧。我可能一開始就走錯了路，因為生鏽的老一輩希望我相信父親與兒子的關係比與女兒的關係更容易。當你哥哥出生時，父親的身份正是我所期望的。我可以和這個小男人產生共鳴。然後你就進入了這個世界。至少可以說，與這個小女人分享我的生活的想法是具有挑戰性的！但這仍然令人興奮，而且在我們生命中的那個階段我學得比你快。

Thank God I realized, when you were still very young, that I had no reason to expect any less from you, just because some of your body parts were different from your brother's! I think we followed our hearts through those early years, while we struggled to be a family and to make the goodness of God a part of our lives. You and I learned to communicate in ways that even now, I don't fully understand.
感謝上帝，當你還很小的時​​候，我就意識到，我沒有理由對你的期望降低，只因為你的某些身體部位與你哥哥的不同！我想，早年我們都遵循自己的內心，努力成為一個家庭，努力讓上帝的良善成為我們生活的一部分。你和我學會了用我現在還不完全理解的方式溝通。

Then along came this thing called "adolescence." Before my very eyes, you were becoming a woman. I knew nothing about rites of passage or the female version of "the birds and the bees." I continued to see my role as one of encouragement and support. Through adolescence and boyfriends and college, through your career and marriage and children of your own, there has never been a day when I have felt disconnected from your life or unimportant to you.
然後就出現了所謂的「青春期」。在我眼前，你正在成為一個女人。我對成年儀式或女性版本的“鳥和蜜蜂”一無所知。我仍然將自己的角色視為鼓勵和支持。透過青春期、男友和大學，透過你的事業、婚姻和你自己的孩子，從來沒有一天我感到與你的生活脫節或對你不重要。

When I faced a very difficult time in my own life, I realized how much my strength and wisdom comes from my children. I only hope that by supporting you and being respectful of your individuality, I have been a source of strength for you, too.
當我面臨人生中非常困難的時刻時，我意識到我的力量和智慧有多少是來自於我的孩子。我只希望透過支持你並尊重你的個性，我也成為你的力量來源。

~ LOVE, DAD
~ 愛，爸爸

Can't Go Back
無法回去

Being a father didn't come naturally to me... I had to learn it from my kids. I don't know how they graded me then, or how they'd rate me now that they're grown and have kids of their own. But I know there is a difference between simply being a father and being a good one. When it all began, however, I didn't have a clue about what I was doing.
成為父親對我來說並不是天生的……我必須向我的孩子學習。我不知道他們當時如何評價我，也不知道現在他們長大了並有了自己的孩子後他們會如何評價我。但我知道當父親和當好父親之間是有差別的。然而，當這一切開始時，我對自己在做什麼一無所知。

In the fifties and sixties, it was not fashionable for men to do the laundry, change diapers, feed a baby...all those things that I felt I could and should do. Men were never taught how to talk to children, tickle them, or play with them on the floor. They didn't know when to let them win at checkers, how to comfort them when they were hurting, or what advice to give them as they grew. I learned how to be a parent through experience; it was simply trial and error.
在五、六十年代，男人洗衣服、換尿布、餵嬰兒……所有這些我覺得我可以而且應該做的事情並不流行。男人從來沒有被教導過如何與孩子交談、搔癢或與他們在地板上玩耍。他們不知道什麼時候讓他們在跳棋中獲勝，在他們受傷時如何安慰他們，或在他們成長的過程中給他們什麼建議。我透過經驗學會如何做父母；這只是反覆試驗。

I really wanted to be a good father, but my alcoholism and my children's adolescence were a lethal combination. I'm sure I said and did things then that I wouldn't dream of doing now. But I can't go back and be a different father, just as my children can't go back and relive their teenage years. I regret my outbursts of anger, my unreasonable rules, not listening to my children closely, the mistakes I didn't admit to, and using marijuana in front of them. But I did the best that I could at the time, even though my children remind me that it still wasn't enough. I believe I was a better parent to my children than my parents were to me, and my children can build on that as they help their own daughters and sons along this journey called life.
我真的很想成為一個好父親，但我的酗酒和我孩子的青春期是致命的結合。我確信我當時所說和所做的事情是我現在做夢也不敢做的。但我不能回去成為一個不同的父親，就像我的孩子們不能回去重溫他們的青少年時代一樣。我後悔我的憤怒爆發，我的不合理的規則，沒有仔細傾聽我的孩子們的意見，我不承認的錯誤，以及在他們面前吸食大麻。但我當時已經盡力了，儘管我的孩子提醒我這還不夠。我相信我對我的孩子來說是一個比我的父母對我更好的父母，我的孩子們可以以此為基礎，幫助自己的女兒和兒子走上人生的旅程。

- DONALD, 67, COLLEGE PROFESSOR ~
- 唐納德，67 歲，大學教授 ~

“But Mommy. When Does Daddy Cry?"
「但是媽媽。爸爸什麼時候哭？

Last night I was looking through photo albums, thinking about my life. One of the pictures reminded me of a day when you were very young and your mom was crying. You asked, "Mommy, when does Daddy cry?" I don't remember how your mom responded at the time, but now I know the answer.
昨晚翻閱相冊，思考我的生活。其中一張照片讓我想起了你很小的時候，你媽媽在哭的一天。你問：“媽媽，爸爸什麼時候哭？”我不記得你媽媽當時的反應，但現在我知道答案了。

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I don't cry often, but my tears flow at times of great joy and of deep sorrow. I'll never forget the day your mom and I were married. I stood at the altar, watching her move effortlessly down the aisle. For the first time as an adult, uncontrollable tears of gratitude and joy welled up inside me.
我不常哭，但在大喜大悲的時候，我會流淚。我永遠不會忘記我和你媽媽結婚的那一天。我站在祭壇前，看著她毫不費力地走過走道。作為一個成年人，我第一次無法控制地流下了感激和喜悅的眼淚。

A few years later, when you were born, I held you closely in my arms. I wept, amazed by how much I loved you. On Christmas Eve, when you were just two months old, you played the baby Jesus. Your mom and I were Mary and Joseph. I remember looking down at you lying in the manger, and I cried tears of joy. When you had spinal meningitis as a child, I cried because I couldn't imagine life without you. Sometimes I would sneak into your room at night, stand by your bed, and watch you sleep. My love for you was so deep that it overflowed in wet salty droplets that would land on your fuzzy blankets.
幾年後，當你出生時，我將你緊緊地抱在懷裡。我哭了，驚訝於我有多愛你。平安夜，當你才兩個月大的時候，你扮演了小耶穌。你媽媽和我是瑪麗和約瑟夫。我記得我低頭看著躺在馬槽裡的你，我流下了喜悅的眼淚。當你小時候得了腦膜炎時，我哭了，因為我無法想像沒有你的生活。有時晚上我會偷偷溜進你的房間，站在你的床邊，看著你入睡。我對你的愛是如此深沉，以至於它溢出了濕鹹的水滴，落在你毛茸茸的毯子上。

Now, you are a teenager, and I become teary-eyed with pride at your swim meets. When I listen to you singing in the choir or when I read one of your poems, I am moved beyond words. Every time I go to a wedding, I cry. I remember the joy of my own wedding and my love for your mom, but I also imagine a day when it may be you walking down the aisle. Letting go will be hard. Maybe I am just practicing.
現在，你已經是個青少年了，我在你的游泳比賽中感到自豪，熱淚盈眶。當我聽你在唱詩班唱歌或讀你的一首詩時，我的感動難以言喻。每次去參加婚禮我都會哭。我記得我自己婚禮的喜悅和我對你媽媽的愛，但我也想像有一天你可能會走上紅毯。放手將會很難。也許我只是在練習。

I cried many tears at my grandmother's funeral, surprised at how difficult it was to say goodbye to her. She and I were not very close in the last part of her life. But as I sat and listened to people talking about her, I realized just how important she had been to me. She loved me no matter what, and embraced the very parts of me that have been the secret to my success as an adult.
在祖母的葬禮上，我流下了許多眼淚，驚訝地發現與她告別是多麼困難。在她生命的最後階段，我和她關係並不密切。但當我坐下來聽人們談論她時，我意識到她對我來說是多麼重要。無論如何，她都愛我，並擁抱我的部分，這是我成年後成功的秘訣。

When does Daddy cry? Dad cries at events centered on the women in his life; the women he loves, and who are responsible for him being here. He is most deeply touched by the women who have changed his life, and the girls who bring him great pride and joy. These are the women of your heritage. One of these women is you! Thank you for giving me reasons to cry. Tears remind me of what is important.
爸爸什麼時候哭？父親因他生命中的女性事件而哭泣；他所愛的女人，以及那些對他在這裡負有責任的女人。最讓他感動的是那些改變了他生活的女人，以及那些帶給他巨大自豪和快樂的女孩。這些是你們傳統的女性。這些女人之一就是你！謝謝你給了我哭泣的理由。眼淚提醒我什麼是重要的。

~ DAVE, 39, FATHER OF - TWO GREAT YOUNG WOMEN 

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Dad's Big Test 

"Dad, what would you do if I got pregnant in high school?" You asked me this while you were washing the dishes one evening. Suddenly, all these worries rushed through my mind. Is she pregnant? Is she serious? Is she just trying to tell me how mature she is now? I caught my breath. This question is a big test for a dad, you know! 

What should a dad say to questions like this? I love you more than anything, sweetheart. I was there when you were born. I watched the nurse take you immediately into the next room to help you breathe better and live. I held you proudly and hugged you numerous times, whenever Mom wasn't hugging you! 

I watched you take your first step on your own. You were proudly wearing your new blue dress, made by your grandmother. As you took those big, wide steps with your arms stretched out for balance, I cheered you on and hugged you mightily when you made it. Remember when we would go see The Nutcracker ballet each Christmas? It was always just you and I. You loved to dance so much. And when we got you your own piano, you began to play so beautifully. I was always such a musical klutz, and was so happy that you could master something that I could not.
我看著你獨自踏出了第一步。你自豪地穿著祖母做的新藍色裙子。當你邁出大步、張開雙臂保持平衡時，我為你歡呼，並在你邁出步伐時用力擁抱你。還記得每年聖誕節我們什麼時候去看芭蕾舞劇《胡桃鉗》嗎？總是只有你和我。當我們為你買了自己的鋼琴時，你開始彈得如此美妙。我一直是個音樂笨手，很高興你能掌握我無法掌握的東西。

I remember when you graduated from eighth grade, standing proud and tall, growing into a lovely young woman. So when you ask me what I would do if you got pregnant, I know this is a big step, like those first steps taken when you were a little girl. I know that you want the love of a young man your age, and I know that you deserve to become a loving mother to your own baby someday. I know you have friends who have been pregnant. What am I supposed to say?
記得八年級畢業時，你傲然挺立，長成了可愛的少婦。因此，當你問我如果你懷孕了我會做什麼時，我知道這是一大步，就像你還是個小女孩時邁出的第一步。我知道你想要得到與你同齡的年輕人的愛，我也知道有一天你應該成為你自己孩子的慈母。我知道你有朋友懷孕了。我該說什麼？

Well, I managed to stammer, "Mom and I will always love you, and will take care of you as long as you need us to. But I hope you'll get married first, before you have a baby." I hope it was the right thing to say. It came from my heart.
好吧，我結結巴巴地說：“媽媽和我會永遠愛你，只要你需要我們，就會照顧你。但我希望你先結婚，再生孩子。”我希望這是正確的說法。它來自我的內心。

You stood there at the sink, overflowing with dishes, thinking it through. You then replied, "I think I will wait to have a baby until I get
你站在水池邊，看著滿溢的盤子，仔細地思考著。然後你回答說：「我想我會等到生孩子為止

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married." I smiled and inwardly thanked God. Then I knew. I knew that you were no longer a girl. That day, you were a woman.
結婚了。

~ LEE, 53
～李，53 歲

First Blood
第一滴血

At her first period I wanted to give my daughter a special gift. My wife bought roses and a topiary plant. I thought of earrings, pearls, a jewelry box, but nothing seemed right. Then I found the perfect present-a gold watch from Switzerland: behind the hands, dark blue sky, stars, and the changing phases of the moon.
在我女兒的第一次月經期間，我想給她一份特別的禮物。我妻子買了玫瑰和一株修剪植物。我想到了耳環、珍珠、首飾盒，但似乎沒有什麼合適的。然後我找到了完美的禮物——一塊來自瑞士的金錶：指針後面是深藍色的天空、星星和不斷變化的月相。

That night at dinner she wanted to play down the change. She doesn't like moments to become too "ritually." With each gift she asked, "Why are you giving me this?" When I gave her the watch, she simply said, "Thank you." A few days later, they started bombing Iraq. She set her new watch to Baghdad time.
那天晚上吃晚餐時，她想淡化這項改變。她不喜歡過於「儀式化」的時刻。每收到一份禮物，她都會問：“你為什麼要送我這個？”當我把手錶交給她時，她只是說了句「謝謝」。幾天后，他們開始轟炸伊拉克。她把新錶調到巴格達時間。

~ ALTON, 57, TEACHER, COUNSELOR, DANCER, CATCHER IN THE RYE
~ 奧爾頓，57 歲，教師、輔導員、舞者、麥田守望者

A Note on Boys
關於男孩的注意事項

Let me tell you something about boys. There is a magical moment in an adolescent boy's life when he suddenly realizes that girls are more than people to be teased. This moment brings with it a transformation in a boy's soul, because suddenly he decides to "care." He cares about how he looks, how he smells, how he talks, how he eats, who he sits with, and who is watching him play the sport he used to love more than anything else in the whole wide world. Now all he seems to be able to do is fall flat on his face while she's over there, ignoring him. He cares about someone he's afraid to ask to the dance, because then he'd have to call her on the phone and then his friends would make fun of him because they could say he "loved her" if he actually did ask her to the dance. Unfortunately, just when he needs to become sophisticated, this is the moment he
讓我告訴你一些關於男孩的事情。青春期男孩的一生中有一個神奇的時刻，他突然意識到女孩不僅僅是一個可以被戲弄的人。這一刻為男孩的靈魂帶來了轉變，因為他突然決定「關心」。他關心自己的外表、氣味、說話方式、飲食方式、與誰坐在一起，以及誰在觀看他從事這項他曾經熱愛的運動，勝過世界上其他任何事情。現在他能做的似乎就是當她在那裡時，他就趴在地上，不理會他。他關心一個他不敢邀請參加舞會的人，因為那樣他就必須給她打電話，然後他的朋友們就會取笑他，因為如果他真的邀請她參加舞會，他們會說他“愛她” 。不幸的是，正當他需要變得成熟的時候，這就是他的時刻。

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becomes really goofy. Without a clue as to what is happening to him, he is from this moment on going to be defining himself not by what the guys think of him, but by what the girls think of him. His life has changed forever, and the poor guy doesn't even know why. That moment came for me one morning when a female classmate of mine walked up to my never-before-voluntarily-combed hair, tousled it, and said, "You'd be really cute if you combed your hair once in a while."
變得非常愚蠢。由於不知道發生在他身上的事情，從這一刻起，他將不再根據男孩們對他的看法，而是根據女孩們對他的看法來定義自己。他的生活永遠改變了，而這個可憐的傢伙甚至不知道為什麼。有一天早上，我的一位女同學走到我從來沒有主動梳理過的頭髮旁，把它弄亂，說：“你如果偶爾梳理一下頭髮，真的很可愛。”

Now, I'd known some girls who were okay to talk to, or even to sit with at lunch, but it was if I'd been struck by lightning! I can still remember the time of day, the exact place in the hallway at school, and even what she was wearing when she spoke those words to me more than thirty years ago. I couldn't wait to run home and get in the shower so I could wash and comb my hair. I have never been the same since!
現在，我認識一些女孩，她們可以和她們聊天，甚至可以坐在一起吃午飯，但我就像被閃電擊中了一樣！我仍然記得一天中的時間，學校走廊的具體地點，甚至三十多年前她對我說這些話時的穿著。我迫不及待地跑回家去洗澡，這樣我就可以洗頭、梳頭了。從那以後我就不再一樣了！

Which gets me to the point of this message. Girls are powerful! You have the power to change a young boy from a loud, boring, smelly old sneaker into a timid, tongue-tied, clean young shoe. Like any explosive energy, this is a power that you I should not use carelessly. Adolescence is a time of terrible questioning for boys. They are leaving their safe, male world of bikes and skateboards and rude noises, and entering into your unknown teenage world of parties and dancing and polite conversations. Boys are not prepared for it, and will probably spend the rest of their adult lives trying to figure out how it happened.
這讓我明白了這則訊息的重點。女孩子就是有實力啊！你有能力把一個小男孩從一隻吵鬧、無聊、臭氣熏天的舊運動鞋變成一隻膽怯、打結、乾淨的年輕鞋。就像任何爆炸性能量一樣，這是一種你我不應該隨意使用的力量。對男孩來說，青春期是個充滿可怕質疑的時期。他們正在離開由自行車、滑板和粗魯噪音組成的安全的男性世界，進入你未知的派對、舞蹈和禮貌對話的青少年世界。男孩們還沒有為此做好準備，並且可能會花費他們成年後的餘生來試圖弄清楚它是如何發生的。

So here's what I'm asking from you as the holder of this secret energy. Try to reach deep inside yourselves and find strength~a strength that will allow you to control this power that can magically transform boys at the exact moment that they are the most vulnerable to this change. Be gentle, and understand that a few choice words from you in the hallway outside the cafeteria can shape the very future of a boy's life.
這就是我對你作為這種秘密能量的持有者的要求。試著深入自己的內心並找到力量——這種力量將使你能夠控制這種力量，這種力量可以在男孩最容易受到這種變化的時刻神奇地改變他們。保持溫柔，並了解你在自助餐廳外走廊上的幾句話可以塑造男孩一生的未來。

My "eighth grade vision" moved away in the tenth grade. I might have been cute when I combed my hair, but I was still the shortest guy in the class, and after stopping me in the hall that morning, she never gave me another thought! But when you decide to use your power, keep an eye on those cute, short guys. Sometimes they turn out to be the ones who will actually listen to what you have to say!
我的「八年級願景」在十年級時消失了。我梳頭的時候可能很可愛，但我仍然是班上最矮的人，那天早上在大廳攔住我之後，她再也沒有想過我！但當你決定使用你的力量時，請留意那些可愛的矮個子傢伙。有時他們會真正傾聽你所說的話！

~ CHRISTOPHER, 44
〜克里斯多福，44 歲

194

Phone Calls
電話

You have begun to receive phone calls from...a boy! This is new, it's exciting, it's scary, but it's okay. These feelings that you have talked about are just what I'm going through, too. You seem happy with his calls; you go to your room and chat for awhile, then hang up, and he often calls back again. I remember asking you if his parents knew about his phone calls. You said you weren't sure. I have asked you if you like him, if you think he respects you, if he is nice to you, if he is honest with you. I think that one of the important qualities of a good friendship or romance is that you are not afraid to let others know about it.
你已經開始接到……一個男孩的電話！這是新的、令人興奮的、令人恐懼的，但沒關係。你所說的這些感受正是我正在經歷的。你似乎對他的電話很滿意；你去自己的房間聊一會兒，然後掛斷電話，他常常再打回來。我記得我問過你他的父母是否知道他的電話。你說你不確定。我問你是否喜歡他，你是否認為他尊重你，他是否對你好，他是否對你誠實。我認為良好的友誼或浪漫的重要特質之一就是你不害怕讓別人知道。

I know that this is a new experience for you, and you seem to be enjoying the extra attention it brings, both from family and friends. As your father, I have watched you change so much. I was there when you were born, held you when you cried, changed endless diapers, hugged you when you fell down, asked you repeatedly to set the table, to turn out the lights in your room, checked on your homework, and now you are moving on to something new. Boys!
我知道這對你來說是一種新的體驗，你似乎很享受它帶來的來自家人和朋友的額外關注。身為你的父親，我見證了你的改變。你出生的時候我就在場，你哭的時候我抱著你，沒完沒了的換尿布，你摔倒的時候抱抱你，一遍又一遍的讓你擺桌子，關你房間的燈，檢查你的作業，現在你正在轉向新的事物。男孩們！

It is so important to remember that you have the right to think and feel whatever you want. Do not let anyone make you say or do something that does not feel right in your heart. I know that as you grow up, boys and others will become even more important in your life, and you may not want to share everything with me or with Mom. We were teenagers once, too, even if that is hard to believe! And we still remember what it was like to be thirteen and in love and totally confused. I believe that as your father, I can offer my guidance, my love, my reassurance, maybe even some answers. And as hard as it is sometimes, I can also give you space. Remember that I am always here for you, and that I love you very
記住這一點非常重要，您有權思考和感受任何您想要的東西。不要讓任何人讓你說或做一些你內心感覺不正確的事情。我知道，隨著你長大，男孩和其他人在你的生活中會變得更加重要，你可能不想與我或媽媽分享一切。我們也曾經是青少年，儘管這令人難以置信！我們仍然記得十三歲時戀愛時的感覺，但又完全困惑。我相信，身為你的父親，我可以提供我的指導、我的愛、我的保證，甚至可能是一些答案。儘管有時很難，但我也可以給你空間。請記得我永遠在你身邊，我非常愛你

much.
很多。

~ Russ, 39
〜拉斯，39 歲

Is Anybody Listening?
有人在聽嗎？

A good friend of mine was driving to the store with his eight-year-old daughter last week when a huge thunderstorm hit. Lightning flashed. Thunder roared, and the rain was so heavy that he could barely see the road. Like usual, his daughter talked nonstop. She told her dad about her day and asked question after question. My friend listened carefully and answered her questions, but his eyes were glued to the road. He was intent on getting them safely to the store and back home again.
上週，我的一位好朋友帶著他八歲的女兒開車去商店，突然遭遇了一場巨大的雷暴。閃電一閃。雷聲轟鳴，雨下得很大，幾乎看不清路了。和往常一樣，女兒喋喋不休。她向父親講述了這一天的情況，並提出了一個又一個問題。我的朋友仔細地聽著並回答了她的問題，但他的眼睛卻盯著路。他一心想把他們安全地送到商店並再次回家。

Finally, frustrated that her dad wouldn't look at her, the daughter said in exasperation, “Daddy, are you listening to me? Why don't you look at me when I am talking to you?" My friend replied, "Just because I am not looking at you doesn't mean that I don't hear you. I still care about you, I just have to watch the road now."
最後，女兒因為爸爸不看她而感到沮喪，憤怒地說：「爸爸，你在聽我說話嗎？為什麼我跟你說話時你不看著我？我還是關心你的，我現在只是看路而已。

My friend went on to explain that God communicates with us in much the same way. We cannot see or touch or e-mail God, but a divine spirit is listening to us always. Faith is our relationship with God.
我的朋友接著解釋說，上帝以同樣的方式與我們溝通。我們看不見、摸不到上帝，也無法給上帝發電子郵件，但神聖的靈一直在傾聽我們的聲音。信心是我們與神的關係。

A parent's love can be much the same. Unconditional love is based on a faith that we can be loved for who we are...even with zits, gross boyfriends, weird music, and all of our faults. So if you ever question whether your parents love you, think of the little girl in the thunderstorm. Her dad could not look at her or touch her, but they could still communicate their love through faith.
父母的愛也可以是一樣的。無條件的愛是基於一種信念，即我們可以因為自己而被愛……即使有青春痘、噁心的男朋友、奇怪的音樂和所有的缺點。所以，如果你懷疑你的父母是否愛你，請想想雷雨中的小女孩。她的父親無法看她或觸摸她，但他們仍然可以透過信仰傳達他們的愛。

~ ROGER, FATHER OF FOUR DAUGHTERS
~ 羅傑，四個女兒的父親

⭑

196

ETTING GO
出發

Your time to be a little girl won't come again.
你當小女孩的時代不會再來了。

That thought may be sad to someone who doesn't know How beautiful your youth has been.
對於那些不知道你的青春有多美好的人來說，這種想法可能會令人悲傷。

The memories of loving and learning will live forever.
愛和學習的記憶將永遠存在。

But now...
但現在...

Your future as a woman is even more exciting. You are a masterpiece. You go now, to bring beauty to the world, To be a strong woman of great compassion.
身為女性，你的未來更加令人興奮。你是傑作。你現在就去吧，為世界帶來美麗，做一個大慈大悲的女強人。

As you step away, Rejoice!
當你走開時，喜樂！

For whatever distance comes between us,
無論我們之間有多遠的距離，

I will share your days of sunshine, and help whisk away the
我會分享你的陽光燦爛的日子，並幫你帶走

clouds,
雲,

Our hearts bound together,
我們的心緊緊相連，

In a special love.
在一份特別的愛裡。

~Sterling, 47
〜斯特林，47

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