PART FIVE: PARAGRAPHS
第五部分:段落
So, now you have your outline. Copy it here:
所以,现在你有了你的大纲。把它复制到这里:
OUTLINE COPIED HERE
Now, write ten to fifteen sentences per outline heading to complete your paragraph. You may find it helpful to add additional subdivisions to your outline, and to work back and forth between the outline and the sentences, editing both. Use your notes, as well. Use single spacing at this point, so that you can see more writing on the paper at once. You will format your essay properly later.
现在,根据大纲标题写十到十五个句子来完成你的段落。你可能会发现为你的大纲添加额外的细分是有帮助的,并且在大纲和句子之间来回工作,编辑两者。也请使用你的笔记。此时请使用单倍行距,以便你可以在纸上一次看到更多的文字。稍后你会正确格式化你的论文。
Don’t worry too much about how well you are writing at this point. It is also best at this point not to worry too much about the niceties of sentence structure and grammar. That is all best left for the second major step, which is editing. You should think of the essay writing process as twofold. The first major step is the first draft, which can be relatively quick and dirty. For the first draft you can use your notes, extensively, and rough out the essay. If you get stuck writing anywhere, just move to the next outline sentence. You can always go back.
不要过于担心你此时写作的质量。在这个阶段,最好也不要过于担心句子结构和语法的细节。这些最好留到第二个主要步骤,即编辑。你应该将写作过程视为两个部分。第一个主要步骤是初稿,可以相对快速和粗略。对于初稿,你可以广泛使用你的笔记,粗略地写出论文。如果在某处写作时遇到困难,只需移动到下一个大纲句子。你总是可以回去。
The second major step is editing. Production (the first major step) and editing (the second) are different functions, and should be treated that way. This is because each interferes with the other. The purpose of production is to produce. The function of editing is to reduce and arrange. If you try to do both at the same time then the editing stymies the production. It’s not faster to combine them, nor is it better, and it is bound to be frustrating.
第二个主要步骤是编辑。制作(第一个主要步骤)和编辑(第二个主要步骤)是不同的功能,应该这样对待。这是因为它们相互干扰。制作的目的是生产。编辑的功能是减少和安排。如果你试图同时进行这两者,那么编辑会阻碍制作。将它们结合在一起并不会更快,也不会更好,必然会令人沮丧。
Here is an example of writing associated with an outline question: (note: places where references are necessary are indicate as (REFERENCE, 19XX). How to format these references will be discussed later.
这是与大纲问题相关的写作示例(注意:需要引用的地方标记为(REFERENCE, 19XX)。如何格式化这些引用将在后面讨论。
Outline sentence: How has capitalism been defined?
资本主义是如何被定义的?
Something as complex as capitalism cannot be easily defined. Different authors have each offered their opinion. Liberal or conservative thinkers stress the importance of private property and the ownership rights that accompany such property as key to capitalism (REFERENCE, 19XX). Such private property (including valuable goods and the means by which they are produced) can be traded, freely, with other property owners, in a market where the price is set by public demand, rather than by any central agency. Liberal and conservative thinkers stress efficiency of production, as well as quality, and consider profit the motive for efficiency. They believe that lower cost is a desirable feature of production, and that fair competition helps ensure desirably lower prices.
像资本主义这样复杂的事物无法轻易定义。不同的作者各自提出了他们的观点。自由派或保守派思想家强调私有财产及其伴随的所有权的重要性,认为这是资本主义的关键(参考文献,19XX)。这种私有财产(包括有价值的商品和生产这些商品的手段)可以在市场上自由交易,市场价格由公众需求决定,而不是由任何中央机构决定。自由派和保守派思想家强调生产效率以及质量,并认为利润是效率的动机。他们认为,降低成本是生产的一个理想特征,而公平竞争有助于确保理想的低价格。
The World Socialist Movement (REFERENCE, 19XX), an international consortium of far left political parties, defines capitalism, by contrast, as ownership of the means of production by a small minority of people, the capitalist class, who profitably exploit the working class, the genuine producers, who must sell their ability to work for a salary or wage. Such socialists believe that it is profit that solely motivates capitalism, and that the profit motive is essentially corrupt. Modern environmentalists tend to add the natural world itself to the list of capitalist targets of exploitation (REFERENCE, 19XX). Thinkers on the right tend to regard problems emerging from the capitalist system as real, but trivial in comparison to those produced by other economic and political systems, real and hypothetical. Thinkers on the far left regard capitalism as the central cause of problems as serious as poverty, inequality and environmental degradation, and believe that there are other political and economic systems whose implementation would constitute an improvement.
世界社会主义运动(参考文献,19XX),一个国际极左政治党派的联盟,将资本主义定义为少数人,即资本家阶级,拥有生产资料,他们以盈利的方式剥削工人阶级,即真正的生产者,后者必须出售他们的劳动能力以换取薪水或工资。这些社会主义者认为,利润是唯一驱动资本主义的动力,而利润动机本质上是腐败的。现代环境主义者倾向于将自然界本身也列入资本主义剥削的目标(参考文献,19XX)。右派思想家倾向于将资本主义系统中出现的问题视为真实的,但与其他经济和政治系统(无论是现实的还是假设的)所产生的问题相比,显得微不足道。极左派思想家则认为,资本主义是导致贫困、不平等和环境恶化等严重问题的根本原因,并相信还有其他政治和经济系统的实施将构成改善。
It took two paragraphs to begin to address the first outline sentence. Notice that the essay begins without referring to itself. It is better to tell the reader what the essay will be about and how the topic will be addressed than to meander around stupidly at the beginning of an essay, but it is still better to grab the reader’s attention immediately without beating around the bush.
花了两个段落才开始处理第一个大纲句子。请注意,文章开始时没有提及自己。告诉读者文章将讨论什么以及将如何处理主题,比在文章开头无目的地徘徊要好,但立即吸引读者的注意力而不拐弯抹角仍然更好。
Once you have completed ten to fifteen sentences for each outline heading, you have finished your first draft. Now it is time to move to editing.
一旦你为每个大纲标题完成了十到十五个句子,你就完成了初稿。现在是时候进行编辑了。
PART SIX: EDITING AND ARRANGING OF SENTENCES WITHIN PARAGRAPHS
第六部分:段落内句子的编辑和排列
Copy the first paragraph of your first draft here:
将您的初稿的第一段复制到这里:
Paragraph 1:
段落 1:
Now, place each sentence on its own line, so it looks like this (this example is taken from the first paragraph on capitalism, above):
现在,将每个句子放在单独的一行上,使其看起来像这样(这个例子取自上面的资本主义第一段):
Something as complex as capitalism cannot be easily defined.
像资本主义这样复杂的事物无法轻易定义。
Different authors have each offered their opinion.
不同的作者各自表达了他们的观点。
Liberal or conservative thinkers stress the importance of private property and the ownership rights that accompany such property as key to capitalism (REFERENCE, 19XX).
自由派或保守派思想家强调私有财产及其伴随的所有权的重要性,认为这是资本主义的关键(参考文献,19XX)。
Such private property (including valuable goods and the means by which they are produced) can be traded, freely, with other property owners, in a market where the price is set by public demand, rather than by any central agency.
这样的私有财产(包括有价值的商品及其生产手段)可以在一个由公众需求而非任何中央机构设定价格的市场中,与其他财产所有者自由交易。
Liberal and conservative thinkers stress efficiency of production, as well as quality, and consider profit the motive for efficiency.
自由派和保守派思想家强调生产效率以及质量,并认为利润是效率的动机。
They believe that lower cost is a desirable feature of production, and that fair competition helps ensure desirably lower prices.
他们认为,较低的成本是生产的一个理想特征,而公平竞争有助于确保理想的较低价格。
Now, write another version of each sentence, under each sentence, like this:
现在,写每个句子的另一个版本,在每个句子下面,像这样:
Liberal and conservative thinkers stress efficiency of production, as well as quality, and consider profit the motive for efficiency.
自由派和保守派思想家强调生产效率以及质量,并认为利润是效率的动机。
Liberal and conservative thinkers alike stress the importance of quality and efficiency, and see them as properly rewarded by profit.
自由派和保守派思想家都强调质量和效率的重要性,并认为它们应当通过利润得到合理回报。
In this example, the meaning of the sentence has been changed slightly, during the rewrite. It may be that the second sentence flows better than the first, and is also more precise and meaningful. See if you can make each sentence you have written better, in a similar manner:
在这个例子中,句子的意思在重写过程中略有改变。第二个句子可能比第一个句子更流畅,并且更精确、更有意义。看看你是否能以类似的方式使你写的每个句子更好。
Better would mean shorter and simpler (as all unnecessary words should be eliminated). There is almost nothing a novice writer can do that will improve his or her writing more rapidly than writing very short sentences. See if you can cut the length of each sentence by 15-25%. Remember, earlier, you tried to make your essay longer than necessary. Here you can start cleaning it up.
更好意味着更短更简单(所有不必要的词都应该被消除)。几乎没有什么新手作家能比写非常简短的句子更快地提高自己的写作水平。看看你能否将每个句子的长度减少 15-25%。记住,之前你试图让你的文章比必要的更长。现在你可以开始清理它。
Better would mean that each word is precisely and exactly the right word. Don’t be tempted to use any word that you would be uncomfortable to use in spoken conversation. Often, new writers try to impress their readers with their vocabulary. This often backfires when words are used that are technically correct but whose connotation is not, or that are unsuitable within the context of the sentence, paragraph or full essay. An expert writer will spot such flaws immediately, and see them for what they are: forms of camouflage and deception. Write clearly at a vocabulary level you have mastered (with maybe a bit of stretching, to produce improvement).
更好的意思是每个词都是精确和恰当的。不要被诱惑使用任何你在口头交流中会感到不舒服的词。通常,新作家试图用他们的词汇来给读者留下深刻印象。这往往适得其反,当使用的词在技术上是正确的,但其含义却不然,或者在句子、段落或整篇文章的上下文中不合适时。一个专业的作家会立即发现这样的缺陷,并看出它们的本质:伪装和欺骗的形式。用你掌握的词汇水平清晰地写作(也许稍微扩展一下,以促进进步)。
Read each sentence aloud, and listen to how it sounds. If it’s awkward, see if you can say it a different, better way. Listen to what you said, and then write it down. Rewrite each sentence. Once you have done this with all the sentences, read the old versions and the new versions, and replace the old with the new if the new is better. Then copy the new paragraph here:
大声朗读每个句子,听听它的声音。如果听起来很别扭,看看是否可以用不同的、更好的方式表达。听听你说的内容,然后把它写下来。重写每个句子。完成所有句子的修改后,阅读旧版本和新版本,如果新版本更好,就用新版本替换旧版本。然后把新段落复制到这里:
New paragraph 1:
新段落 1:
Repeat for each paragraph:
逐段重复:
New paragraph 2:
新段落 2:
New paragraph 3:
新段落 3:
New paragraph 4:
新段落 4:
New paragraph 5 (etc.):
新段落 5(等等):
Now you are going to try to improve each of those paragraphs. Copy them again here, unchanged (you are doing this so that you can easily compare the improved paragraphs to the originals, so that you can be sure they are truly improved, before you keep them):
现在你将尝试改进每一个段落。将它们再次复制到这里,保持不变(你这样做是为了能够轻松地将改进后的段落与原文进行比较,以确保它们确实得到了改进,然后再保留它们):
New paragraph 1 (copy):
新段落 1 (复制):
New paragraph 2 (copy):
新段落 2 (复制):
New paragraph 3 (copy):
新段落 3(复制):
New paragraph 4 (copy):
新段落 4(复制):
New paragraph 5 (copy) (etc.):
新段落 5(复制)(等):
Start with paragraph 1. Break it up into single sentences, as you did before. Now check to see if the sentences are in the best possible order, within each paragraph. Drag and drop them, or cut and paste them, into better order.
从第一段开始。将其拆分为单个句子,就像你之前做的那样。现在检查一下句子在每段中的顺序是否最佳。将它们拖放或剪切粘贴到更好的顺序中。
You can also eliminate sentences that are no longer necessary. When you are satisfied with the first paragraph (which means that the sentences are necessary, short and punchy, and in the correct order) then go ahead to the next paragraph and do the same thing.
您还可以删除不再必要的句子。当您对第一段感到满意时(这意味着句子是必要的、简短有力且顺序正确),然后继续进行下一段并做同样的事情。
PART SEVEN: RE-ORDERING THE PARAGRAPHS
第七部分:重新排序段落
Now, copy all of the new, improved paragraphs that you have edited here:
现在,将您在此处编辑的所有新改进段落复制过来:
New improved paragraph 1:
新改进的段落 1:
New improved paragraph 2:
新改进的段落 2:
New improved paragraph 3:
新改进的第 3 段:
New improved paragraph 4:
新改进的第 4 段:
New improved paragraph 5 (etc.):
新改进的第 5 段(等):
Now you are going to try to improve the order of those new, improved paragraphs. Copy them here, again, unchanged.
现在你将尝试改善这些新改进段落的顺序。将它们复制到这里,保持不变。
New improved paragraph 1 (copy):
新改进的段落 1(复制):
New improved paragraph 2 (copy):
新改进的段落 2(复制):
New improved paragraph 3 (copy):
新改进的第 3 段(复制):
New improved paragraph 4 (copy):
新改进的第 4 段(复制):
New improved paragraph 5 (copy) (etc.):
新改进的第 5 段(复制)(等):
Now look at the order of the paragraphs themselves (as you just did with the sentences within each paragraph). It may well be that by now in the editing process, you will find that the order of the subtopics within your original outline is no longer precisely appropriate, and that some re-ordering of those sub-topics is called for. So, move around the new improved paragraph (copies) above, until they are ordered more appropriately than they were.
现在看看段落本身的顺序(就像你刚刚对每个段落中的句子所做的那样)。在编辑过程中,你可能会发现原始大纲中子主题的顺序不再完全合适,因此需要对这些子主题进行一些重新排序。因此,移动上面的新改进段落(副本),直到它们的顺序比之前更合适。