PART FIVE: PARAGRAPHS
第五部分:段落
So, now you have your outline. Copy it here:
所以,现在你有了你的大纲。复制它在这里:
OUTLINE COPIED HERE
大纲复制在这里
Now, write ten to fifteen sentences per outline heading to complete your paragraph. You may find it helpful to add additional subdivisions to your outline, and to work back and forth between the outline and the sentences, editing both. Use your notes, as well. Use single spacing at this point, so that you can see more writing on the paper at once. You will format your essay properly later.
现在,每个大纲标题写 10 到 15 个句子来完成你的段落。您可能会发现在大纲中添加额外的细分,并在大纲和句子之间来回工作,编辑两者会很有帮助。也使用你的笔记。此时使用单倍行距,以便您可以一次在纸上看到更多内容。稍后您将正确格式化您的文章。
Don’t worry too much about how well you are writing at this point. It is also best at this point not to worry too much about the niceties of sentence structure and grammar. That is all best left for the second major step, which is editing. You should think of the essay writing process as twofold. The first major step is the first draft, which can be relatively quick and dirty. For the first draft you can use your notes, extensively, and rough out the essay. If you get stuck writing anywhere, just move to the next outline sentence. You can always go back.
此时不要太担心你写得有多好。在这一点上,最好不要太担心句子结构和语法的细节。这些最好留给第二个主要步骤,即编辑。你应该把论文写作过程看作是双重的。第一个主要步骤是初稿,它可能相对快速和肮脏。对于初稿,您可以广泛使用您的笔记,并粗略地完成文章。如果你在任何地方都卡住了写作,就转到下一个大纲句子。你总是可以回去的。
The second major step is editing. Production (the first major step) and editing (the second) are different functions, and should be treated that way. This is because each interferes with the other. The purpose of production is to produce. The function of editing is to reduce and arrange. If you try to do both at the same time then the editing stymies the production. It’s not faster to combine them, nor is it better, and it is bound to be frustrating.
第二个主要步骤是编辑。制作(第一个主要步骤)和编辑(第二个步骤)是不同的功能,应该以这种方式对待。这是因为每个都会干扰另一个。生产的目的是生产。编辑的功能是缩小和排列。如果你试图同时做这两件事,那么编辑就会阻碍制作。将它们结合起来并不更快,也没有更好,而且肯定会令人沮丧。
Here is an example of writing associated with an outline question: (note: places where references are necessary are indicate as (REFERENCE, 19XX). How to format these references will be discussed later.
以下是与大纲问题相关的写作示例:(注意:需要参考的地方表示为 (REFERENCE, 19XX)。稍后将讨论如何格式化这些引用。
Outline sentence: How has capitalism been defined?
大纲句子:资本主义是如何定义的?
Something as complex as capitalism cannot be easily defined. Different authors have each offered their opinion. Liberal or conservative thinkers stress the importance of private property and the ownership rights that accompany such property as key to capitalism (REFERENCE, 19XX). Such private property (including valuable goods and the means by which they are produced) can be traded, freely, with other property owners, in a market where the price is set by public demand, rather than by any central agency. Liberal and conservative thinkers stress efficiency of production, as well as quality, and consider profit the motive for efficiency. They believe that lower cost is a desirable feature of production, and that fair competition helps ensure desirably lower prices.
像资本主义这样复杂的东西不能轻易定义。不同的作者各自提出了他们的观点。自由派或保守派思想家强调私有财产的重要性以及伴随此类财产的所有权是资本主义的关键(参考,19XX)。这种私有财产(包括贵重物品及其生产方式)可以在价格由公众需求而不是任何中央机构决定的市场中与其他财产所有者自由交易。自由派和保守派的思想家都强调生产效率和质量,并认为利润是效率的动机。他们认为,降低成本是生产的理想特征,而公平竞争有助于确保理想的低价格。
The World Socialist Movement (REFERENCE, 19XX), an international consortium of far left political parties, defines capitalism, by contrast, as ownership of the means of production by a small minority of people, the capitalist class, who profitably exploit the working class, the genuine producers, who must sell their ability to work for a salary or wage. Such socialists believe that it is profit that solely motivates capitalism, and that the profit motive is essentially corrupt. Modern environmentalists tend to add the natural world itself to the list of capitalist targets of exploitation (REFERENCE, 19XX). Thinkers on the right tend to regard problems emerging from the capitalist system as real, but trivial in comparison to those produced by other economic and political systems, real and hypothetical. Thinkers on the far left regard capitalism as the central cause of problems as serious as poverty, inequality and environmental degradation, and believe that there are other political and economic systems whose implementation would constitute an improvement.
世界社会主义运动(参考,19XX)是一个由极左翼政党组成的国际联盟,它把资本主义定义为少数人对生产资料的所有权,即资产阶级,他们从中获利地剥削工人阶级,真正的生产者,他们必须出卖自己的工作能力来换取薪水。这些社会主义者认为,资本主义的唯一动机是利润,而利润动机本质上是腐败的。现代环保主义者倾向于将自然世界本身添加到资本主义剥削目标的清单中(参考,19XX)右翼思想家倾向于将资本主义制度中出现的问题视为真实存在的问题,但与其他经济和政治制度产生的问题相比,无论是真实的还是假设的,都是微不足道的。极左翼思想家认为资本主义是导致贫困、不平等和环境退化等严重问题的核心原因,并认为还有其他政治和经济制度的实施将构成改进。
It took two paragraphs to begin to address the first outline sentence. Notice that the essay begins without referring to itself. It is better to tell the reader what the essay will be about and how the topic will be addressed than to meander around stupidly at the beginning of an essay, but it is still better to grab the reader’s attention immediately without beating around the bush.
花了两段时间才开始讨论第一个大纲句子。请注意,这篇文章一开始就没有提到自己。告诉读者这篇文章将要讲什么以及该主题将如何解决,比在文章开始时愚蠢地闲逛要好,但最好立即抓住读者的注意力,而不是拐弯抹角。
Once you have completed ten to fifteen sentences for each outline heading, you have finished your first draft. Now it is time to move to editing.
完成每个大纲标题的 10 到 15 个句子后,您就完成了初稿。现在是时候进行编辑了。
PART SIX: EDITING AND ARRANGING OF SENTENCES WITHIN PARAGRAPHS
第六部分:编辑和排列段落内的句子
Copy the first paragraph of your first draft here:
将初稿的第一段复制到此处:
Paragraph 1:
第 1 段:
Now, place each sentence on its own line, so it looks like this (this example is taken from the first paragraph on capitalism, above):
现在,将每个句子放在自己的行上,使其看起来像这样(这个例子取自上面关于资本主义的第一段):
Something as complex as capitalism cannot be easily defined.
像资本主义这样复杂的东西不能轻易定义。
Different authors have each offered their opinion.
不同的作者各自提出了他们的观点。
Liberal or conservative thinkers stress the importance of private property and the ownership rights that accompany such property as key to capitalism (REFERENCE, 19XX).
自由派或保守派思想家强调私有财产的重要性以及伴随此类财产的所有权是资本主义的关键(参考,19XX)。
Such private property (including valuable goods and the means by which they are produced) can be traded, freely, with other property owners, in a market where the price is set by public demand, rather than by any central agency.
这种私有财产(包括贵重物品及其生产方式)可以在价格由公众需求而不是任何中央机构决定的市场中与其他财产所有者自由交易。
Liberal and conservative thinkers stress efficiency of production, as well as quality, and consider profit the motive for efficiency.
自由派和保守派的思想家都强调生产效率和质量,并认为利润是效率的动机。
They believe that lower cost is a desirable feature of production, and that fair competition helps ensure desirably lower prices.
他们认为,降低成本是生产的理想特征,而公平竞争有助于确保理想的低价格。
Now, write another version of each sentence, under each sentence, like this:
现在,在每个句子下面写下每个句子的另一个版本,如下所示:
Liberal and conservative thinkers stress efficiency of production, as well as quality, and consider profit the motive for efficiency.
自由派和保守派的思想家都强调生产效率和质量,并认为利润是效率的动机。
Liberal and conservative thinkers alike stress the importance of quality and efficiency, and see them as properly rewarded by profit.
自由派和保守派思想家都强调质量和效率的重要性,并认为它们应该得到利润的回报。
In this example, the meaning of the sentence has been changed slightly, during the rewrite. It may be that the second sentence flows better than the first, and is also more precise and meaningful. See if you can make each sentence you have written better, in a similar manner:
在此示例中,在重写期间,句子的含义略有改变。可能是第二句话比第一句更流畅,也更精准、更有意义。看看你是否可以用类似的方式把你写的每个句子都写得更好:
Better would mean shorter and simpler (as all unnecessary words should be eliminated). There is almost nothing a novice writer can do that will improve his or her writing more rapidly than writing very short sentences. See if you can cut the length of each sentence by 15-25%. Remember, earlier, you tried to make your essay longer than necessary. Here you can start cleaning it up.
Better 意味着更短和更简单(因为所有不必要的单词都应该被删除)。新手作家几乎没有什么比写非常短的句子更能提高他或她的写作速度了。看看你是否可以将每个句子的长度缩短 15-25%。请记住,早些时候,您试图使您的文章超过必要的长度。在这里你可以开始清理它。
Better would mean that each word is precisely and exactly the right word. Don’t be tempted to use any word that you would be uncomfortable to use in spoken conversation. Often, new writers try to impress their readers with their vocabulary. This often backfires when words are used that are technically correct but whose connotation is not, or that are unsuitable within the context of the sentence, paragraph or full essay. An expert writer will spot such flaws immediately, and see them for what they are: forms of camouflage and deception. Write clearly at a vocabulary level you have mastered (with maybe a bit of stretching, to produce improvement).
Better 意味着每个单词都是精确且完全正确的单词。不要试图使用任何您在口语对话中使用会不舒服的词。通常,新作家试图用他们的词汇给读者留下深刻印象。当使用的词在技术上是正确的,但其内涵不正确,或者不适合句子、段落或完整文章的上下文时,这往往会适得其反。专家作家会立即发现这些缺陷,并看到它们的本质:伪装和欺骗的形式。在你已经掌握的词汇水平上写得清楚(也许需要一点伸展,以产生改进)。
Read each sentence aloud, and listen to how it sounds. If it’s awkward, see if you can say it a different, better way. Listen to what you said, and then write it down. Rewrite each sentence. Once you have done this with all the sentences, read the old versions and the new versions, and replace the old with the new if the new is better. Then copy the new paragraph here:
大声朗读每个句子,并聆听它的发音。如果这很尴尬,看看你是否可以用不同的、更好的方式来表达它。听你说的话,然后把它写下来。重写每个句子。完成所有句子后,阅读旧版本和新版本,如果新的更好,请用新版本替换旧版本。然后在此处复制新段落:
New paragraph 1:
新增第 1 款:
Repeat for each paragraph:
对每个段落重复:
New paragraph 2:
新增第 2 款:
New paragraph 3:
新增第 3 款:
New paragraph 4:
新增第 4 款:
New paragraph 5 (etc.):
新的第 5 款(等):
Now you are going to try to improve each of those paragraphs. Copy them again here, unchanged (you are doing this so that you can easily compare the improved paragraphs to the originals, so that you can be sure they are truly improved, before you keep them):
现在,您将尝试改进这些段落中的每一个。将它们再次复制到此处,保持不变(您这样做是为了可以轻松地将改进的段落与原始段落进行比较,以便您可以确保在保留它们之前,它们确实得到了改进):
New paragraph 1 (copy):
新第 1 款(副本):
New paragraph 2 (copy):
新第 2 款(副本):
New paragraph 3 (copy):
新第 3 款(副本):
New paragraph 4 (copy):
新第 4 段(副本):
New paragraph 5 (copy) (etc.):
新的第 5 款(副本)(等):
Start with paragraph 1. Break it up into single sentences, as you did before. Now check to see if the sentences are in the best possible order, within each paragraph. Drag and drop them, or cut and paste them, into better order.
从第 1 段开始。像以前一样,把它分成几个句子。现在检查每个段落中的句子是否按最佳顺序排列。将它们拖放或剪切并粘贴到更好的顺序中。
You can also eliminate sentences that are no longer necessary. When you are satisfied with the first paragraph (which means that the sentences are necessary, short and punchy, and in the correct order) then go ahead to the next paragraph and do the same thing.
您还可以删除不再需要的句子。当你对第一段感到满意时(这意味着句子是必要的、简短的、有力的,并且顺序正确),然后继续到下一段并做同样的事情。
PART SEVEN: RE-ORDERING THE PARAGRAPHS
第七部分:重新排序段落
Now, copy all of the new, improved paragraphs that you have edited here:
现在,复制您在此处编辑的所有新的、改进的段落:
New improved paragraph 1:
新改进的第 1 段:
New improved paragraph 2:
新改进的第 2 段:
New improved paragraph 3:
新改进的第 3 段:
New improved paragraph 4:
新改进的第 4 段:
New improved paragraph 5 (etc.):
新改进的第 5 段(等):
Now you are going to try to improve the order of those new, improved paragraphs. Copy them here, again, unchanged.
现在,您将尝试改进这些新的、改进的段落的顺序。再次将它们复制到此处,保持不变。
New improved paragraph 1 (copy):
新改进的第 1 段(副本):
New improved paragraph 2 (copy):
新的改进第 2 段(副本):
New improved paragraph 3 (copy):
新改进的第 3 段(副本):
New improved paragraph 4 (copy):
新改进的第 4 段(副本):
New improved paragraph 5 (copy) (etc.):
新的改进第 5 段(副本)(等):
Now look at the order of the paragraphs themselves (as you just did with the sentences within each paragraph). It may well be that by now in the editing process, you will find that the order of the subtopics within your original outline is no longer precisely appropriate, and that some re-ordering of those sub-topics is called for. So, move around the new improved paragraph (copies) above, until they are ordered more appropriately than they were.
现在看看段落本身的顺序(就像你刚才对每个段落中的句子所做的那样)。很可能到现在的编辑过程中,你会发现原始大纲中子主题的顺序不再精确合适,并且需要对这些子主题进行一些重新排序。因此,请移动上面新改进的段落(副本),直到它们的顺序比以前更合适。