We need to understand that the most captivating and enduring attraction is the woman's personality. The men's desire to conquer, their clinginess, and their increased investment are simply additional outcomes of her personality, not intentionally crafted personas or tactics used to gain male attention.

This kind of personal charm isn't a contrived display of techniques or tricks; it's simply her being herself, and the way she presents herself makes others naturally want to get closer.

Many online tutorials teach girls tricks to create a sense of conquest in boys, such as playing hard to get or being inconsistent. While these tactics can be effective, their impact is short-lived, and they can be exhausting since pretending is inherently stressful. If the act is seen through, it can quickly lead to a loss of interest.

In essence, these techniques all revolve around the innate human tendency to be drawn to high-energy people.

A person with strong energy is someone who focuses on themselves, has clear principles, knows when to push forward and when to step back, radiates positivity, doesn't expect much from others or try to control them, and is generally easy to be around, remaining emotionally stable.

  How can one achieve this high-energy state?

In fact, when someone dedicates 70%-80% of their time and energy to their personal interests and growth, they tend to achieve most of the satisfaction and emotional value they seek. This focus naturally leads to a certain distance from others, not because of deliberate pretense, but simply because their own priorities come first. They handle their own matters first and only engage with others' issues and socialize if they have spare time.

When you truly focus on your own tasks and block out surrounding distractions and noise, you not only project an intriguing, enigmatic presence but also better understand why someone can be busy for hours without responding to messages, why they love playing games, and why they prioritize their own well-being. This perspective allows you to see through human nature more clearly and accept that everyone is primarily self-loving, selfish, and driven by their own instincts.

True perspective-taking is not about me pretending to understand that he feels wronged; it's about acknowledging human weaknesses and viewing people, situations, and objective laws from an objective and peaceful standpoint.

This self-focus isn't about me forcing myself to reach out when I secretly want his attention; it's about reducing my expectations of others from a deep inner level, achieving self-fulfillment, not being ensnared by romantic relationships, always having a broader perspective, maintaining a strong sense of purpose, and being extremely clear about what I want and what truly grounds me.

It's not so much that men are drawn to the ambiguity, but rather they admire when a woman can lead a rich and fulfilling life on her own, exuding an energy and happiness that is unmistakable and self-sustained, without depending on anyone else's approval.

Having positive energy, being easy to get along with, gentle, and emotionally stable are not about personality; they reflect inner richness, strength, mental maturity, and the capacity to accept others.

Men often prefer gentle women because such women possess a rich inner life, strength, and emotional maturity. They can embrace diversity, live harmoniously, and express themselves reasonably without resorting to aggression for self-defense or excessive suppression to avoid conflict, allowing them to interact with others more peacefully and freely.

Strong emotional reactions are essentially a way to mask inner vulnerabilities with an outward show of strength, using excessive defensiveness and aggression to avoid being hurt. While this may seem like self-protection, it actually prevents genuine connections with others.

People who are habitually dominant and emotional tend to be short-sighted, often placing men in opposition to themselves. They consistently suppress men to demonstrate their own strength, which may work in the short term but ultimately reveals their exploitative intentions and triggers defensive reactions from men.

Feeling wronged easily and getting upset over what others say stems from seeing yourself as too important. You can't tolerate others, can't accept them not catering to you, or misunderstanding you. This makes you incredibly fragile. When you view yourself as so important, you can't see others' perspectives, and thus, you can't turn them into valuable resources for your benefit.

This is something that can't be faked; when you lack the right understanding, you can easily fall into endless emotional exhaustion, feeling wronged today, upset tomorrow, thinking that he doesn't care about you, that you are not loved, and that he doesn't give you gifts because he doesn't like you.

Some people take the opposite extreme by pretending to be very mature. However, being overly mature can be a form of attack, as it often stems from suppressing and hiding one's own needs. The dissatisfaction doesn't disappear; it's just temporarily suppressed and will eventually resurface as covert attacks, such as sulking, speaking sarcastically, deliberately making things difficult, or being overly awkward. This can lead to you oscillating between feeling wronged and engaging in covert attacks, causing the other person to see you as unpredictable, sometimes cold and sometimes hot.

People often ask me why I should make him feel comfortable instead of him making me feel comfortable. In reality, those who genuinely make others feel at ease don't do so through pretense, but by having a higher level of thinking. They can internalize and understand many things, are free from desires, and don't place excessive demands on others. I can accept you for who you are, as long as you don't infringe on my interests, I can allow you to be yourself in front of me.

The essence really lies within yourself. Once you understand and master yourself, your personality becomes whole, and you no longer rely on others to fulfill your expectations. This self-assured energy will naturally draw people to you. However, if your inner self is weak and incomplete, and you depend heavily on others with high demands, even if you manage to attract a good partner through minor cleverness or luck, you won't have the strength to keep them.

  That's all above.

Every day, the Friends Circle shares original content about human nature, love, and interpersonal relationships (add: biggirl55). Girls are welcome to follow and learn.