A FUNNY THING HAPPENED
有一件有趣的事情发生了

ON THE WAY TO MY LIFE
去往我人生之路

Michael J.Lincoln,Ph.D.
迈克尔·J·林肯,博士

1991,Revised 2012
1991 年,2012 年修订

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED --
真是出人意料的一件事--

ON THE WAY TO MY LIFE
去往我人生之路

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or psychological recommendations or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for medical or psychological problems.The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help the enhancement of your well being in your quest for effective functioning.In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself,the author and publisher assume no responsibility for your decisions.
本书作者并不提供任何医疗或心理方面的建议和建议,也不推荐任何技术作为治疗手段。作者的目的仅是提供一些普通性信息,以帮助您在追求良好状态的过程中获得更好的体验。如果您使用了本书中的任何信息,作者和出版商概不负责。

All rights reserved.This book,or parts thereof,may not be reproduced,stored in or introduced into a retrieval system,or transmitted,in any form or by any means (electronic,mechanical,photocopying, recording or otherwise),without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the publisher of this book.
本书的著作权所有。未经版权所有者和出版商事先书面许可,不得以任何形式(电子、机械、复印、录制或其他方式)复制、存储、导入信息检索系统或传播本书或其任何部分内容。

The scanning,uploading,and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law.Please purchase only authorized electronic editions or published copies and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrightable materials.Your support of the author(s)is appreciated.
未经出版商许可,通过互联网或其他方式扫描、上传和分发本书是违法的,会受到法律处罚。请您只购买经授权的电子版本或已出版的实体副本,不要参与或鼓励电子盗版侵犯版权材料的行为。我们感谢您对作者的支持。

Copyright ◎ 1991 Michael J.Lincoln,Ph.D.,
版权所有 ◎ 1991 迈克尔·J·林肯博士

2013 Revised Talking Hearts
2013 年修订版《说心话》

All Rights Reserved
版权所有

Published by Talking Hearts
由心语出版社出版

Printed in the USA
美国制造

1"Print 2013
2013 年印刷

ISBN:978-0-9799760-9-4
978-0-9799760-9-4 国际标准书号

For all U.S.and International book orders and consultations with
适用于所有美国和国际图书订单以及咨询服务

Michael J.Lincoln,Ph.D.visit our website at www.talkinghearts.net
迈克尔·J.林肯博士,欢迎访问我们的网站 www.talkinghearts.net

or write to P.O.Box 194,Cool,CA 95614
您可以将信件寄到 P.O.Box 194,Cool,CA 95614

INTRODUCTION
简介

Claude Steiner,in his book,Scripts People Live,said that everyone is a born "prinz"--a whole human being capable of the full range of human potentials.Then the world conspires to turn most of us into one form or another of "frog."This book is about how we get to be"frogs,"and about what kinds of "frogs" there are.
在克洛德·斯坦尼尔的著作《人生剧本》中,他说每个人都天生是个"王子"——拥有完整的人性和潜力。但是这个世界却让我们大多数人变成了各种"青蛙"。这本书就讲述了我们是如何沦为"青蛙",以及不同类型的"青蛙"。

There are those who hold that our particular form of "frogdom"is the"lesson"we have given ourselves as a soul,so as to expand our capabilities in the long run in this life,and to evolve our soul as well.Others feel that life is or can be a journey back to “prinzdom.”I rather like these notions,and they form the framework for this exploration of the “wild life”around us.
有人认为我们独特的"蛙形生活"是我们给自己的"课题",目的是为了在今生扩展我们的能力,并同时提升我们的灵魂。另一些人则认为,生活就是或可以成为一段回归"原初状态"的旅程。我很喜欢这些概念,它们构成了我们探索周围"野生生活"的框架。

In this chapter,there will be presented an outline/overview of how we get to be the way we are, There will then be separate chapters on each of the "frog species"which will examine in detail how all that works,along with what to do to find your way back to "prinzdom"from each"starting point."Right now, though,we will start with a bird's eye view of the whole realm of "frogdom."
在本章中,我们将概述和概括我们如何成为现在这样的人。之后会有单独的章节,详细探讨每种"青蛙物种",以及如何从每个"起点"寻找回到"prinzdom"的方法。不过现在,我们先从整个"青蛙界"的鸟瞰视角开始。

The basic model is a kind of "step-ladder,"with "rungs"at each of a series of "critical turning points”in the person's experience of life and emotional development,where various key components of the individual's way of dealing with things are more or less settled on and solidified.
这个基本模型就像一个"阶梯",在一个人生活和情感发展的一系列"关键转折点"上设有"台阶"。在这些关键点上,个人处理事物的各个关键要素都或多或少地得到了固定和巩固。

It is a"developmental milestone"kind of thing that is similar to those for the body,the mind,the social self,the moral sense,and the like.This particular“developmental ladder" deals with the"critical periods”and "turning points"for the emotional and existential patterns that profoundly affect how the person experiences and deals with life.
这是一种类似于身体、心智、社交自我、道德意识等方面发展里程碑的"情感和存在发展阶梯"。这个阶梯涉及到影响一个人对生活经历和应对的关键时期和转折点。

The foundational notion involved here is that the "rungs"of the "developmental ladder"represent a series of resolutions reached on how each of several fundamental aspects of one's experience,orientation and manifestation process in life are going to be emotionally reacted to,interpreted and acted upon.The result is a type of "fundamental premise"foundation and framework of existential attitudes that determine how everything will subsequently be interpreted and manifested.
这里涉及的基本概念是,生活中各种基本体验、取向和表达过程的情感反应、解释和行为方式,通过一系列的解决,形成了一种"基本前提"的基础框架,决定了个人对一切的解释和表达方式。

The model is similar to and indeed to some extent draws upon Eric Erickson's model of personality development.It was discovered in my work as a child clinical psychologist,and then I found that Erickson's work fit into it.I also later found that the “object relations”psychoanalysts and the infantologists were finding the same kinds of things.
这个模型与埃里克·埃里克森的人格发展理论相似,甚至在某种程度上参考了它。这个模型是我在儿童临床心理学工作中发现的,后来我发现埃里克森的理论与之相吻合。我还发现"客体关系"分析学家和婴儿学家也发现了类似的规律。

Because there is a growing body of scientific data that is making it very clear that a considerable amount of learning and emotional development takes place in utero,our story has to start while the person is still in the womb.That,in turn,raises some very ticklish questions.
越来越多的科学数据表明,大量的学习和情感发展发生在孕期,因此我们的故事必须从胎儿时期开始。这也引发了一些复杂的问题。

Such as,when does the process of emotional development actually start --at what point between conception and birth?What sorts of things are learned,and from what sorts of events?What do "emotional development"and "Learning"mean in an intra-uterine environment?What is taking place in the person as they “experience”life in the watery "nest"?What sorts of changes take place in the person at these times? In short,what is emotional/existential development?
情感发展究竟从何时开始?是从受孕到出生之间的某个时间点吗?在子宫内,人会学到什么?这种学习从何而来?在子宫内环境中,"情感发展"和"学习"到底意味着什么?在这温暖潮湿的"巢箱"里,人是如何感受生命的?在这期间,人身上会发生什么样的变化?总之,情感和存在的发展到底是怎么回事?

What seems to be true is that the"emotional body"is not a physical thing at all --it is the phenomenon that forms the basis of the aura later,and it seems to operate from the astral plane,which is one step out from the physical plane in the series of "bodies"we all have as beings.
看起来,"情感体"并不是一个真实存在的物理事物,而是形成灵光的基础,似乎存在于比物理世界更高一层的星际位面。

Which means that it operates from processes and principles that only partly overlap with those of the physical plane.It also means that the being can "think,""choose”and"learn"on that level while the physical equipment of the forming fetus is still highly primitive.
这意味着它的运作基于与物理层面有部分重叠的过程和原则。这也意味着这个存在可以在那个层面进行思考、选择和学习,而这时形成胎儿的身体装备仍然非常原始。

Meanwhile,back at the ranch on the physical plane,what is going on in this extremely early period of development?The most truthful answer is that we really don't know at this point.
在这个极其早期的发展阶段,农场上到底发生了什么?诚实地说,我们现在还不太清楚。

But we can put forth some ideas about what seems to be involved.For one thing,there seem to be spans of time during which as yet pretty much unknown underlying processes take place which make the individual particularly sensitized and vulnerable to some types of events,while others are more or less "on hold"with regard to their impact on the forming person.
但我们可以就这些似乎涉及的事物提出一些想法。首先,似乎存在一些时间段,在这些时间段内,尚未完全被人知晓的潜在过程发生,使个人特别容易受到某些事件的影响,而其他事件对正在形成的个体的影响则或多或少处于暂时休眠状态。

Furthermore,there seem to be several of these “sensitive spans,”each for different aspects of experience and evolution,and they are apparently overlapping in their operation and in their developmental timetables
此外,似乎存在几个这样的"敏感时期",涉及不同的经验和进化方面,它们在运作和发展时间表上相互重叠

As a result,a given set of events occurring during a particular time period would be affecting the outcomes of a number of different “critical spans”at the same time,while the processes involved in other, as yet not“primed"“critical spans”are not especially affected at the time of a given “critical span.”
因此,在某个时间段内发生的一系列事件,会同时影响多个"关键时期"的结果,但其他尚未"引发"的"关键时期"内的过程,在特定"关键时期"内并不会受到特别大的影响。

The particular processes that are going on in the fetus and the kinds of changes that are taking place) are not at all clear.It is known,though,that the individual does respond to environmental sounds and to chemical s in the mother' s placenta-filtered blood and in the amniotic fluid.
关于胎儿内部正在发生的具体过程以及各种变化情况并不很清楚。不过已知,胎儿能够对母亲通过胎盘过滤的血液和羊水中的环境声音及化学物质做出反应。

There also seem to be genetically-based processes that are unique to each individual that play a major role in the individual's reactions to things,and even in precipitating various events and processes along the way.
每个人都有一些独特的遗传过程,这些过程在很大程度上决定了个人对事物的反应,并引发了许多事件和过程。

It is strongly suspected that muscular rigidity and reactions in the uterine walls may be what lies at the base of the “quiet”(non-kicking)baby's behavioral stillness.And it seems likely that various energy fields around and within the mother affect the developing person's intra-uterine experience.But exactly what physical or other effects these types of influences have,and what it is within the infant that is affected is not known --though it is being vigorously explored at present.
许多人认为,子宫肌肉的僵硬和子宫壁的反应可能是导致"安静"(不踢)婴儿的行为静止的原因。此外,母亲体内外的各种能量场也可能影响胎儿在子宫内的体验。但是,这些因素到底会产生什么具体的物理或其他效果,以及会影响婴儿的哪些方面,目前还不太清楚,尽管正在积极进行研究。

There are essentially two ways that one can approach the problem of how to look at these "critical periods,"given our present perspective.One is to assume &purely physical/chemical/mechanicar modei,and to decide that what is going on is a series of cumulatively building physical results of events which finally “go over the top”in any area of particular sensitivity and vulnerability at the time.
从目前的视角来看,有两种方式可以看待这些"关键期"的问题。一种是假设一种纯粹的物理/化学/机械模式,认为正在发生的是一系列逐步累积的物理结果,最终在任何特别敏感和易受影响的领域"失控"。

The “outcomes”of this process would be in effect a semi-ireversible change in the individual's) structural/chemical make up which then serves as a kind of “bottom floor"for the next "critical period” developmental process. ②
这个过程会导致个人的身体结构和化学成分发生一些较为稳定的变化,这种变化会为之后的发展阶段奠定基础。

The other approach is to assume that there is such a thing as a“soul”which is actively involved in the process of constructing the physical/emotional/mental system which will be its"vehicle"for "this"life, and that the "critical periods"represent intensive environment-assessing and -testing processes by the) “Soul.”The “turning points”would then represent "choices"or"decisions"based on the outcomes of this information-gathering process.
另一种方法是假设存在"灵魂"这样一种实体,它积极参与构建其"此生"的物理、情感和心理系统,而"关键期"代表了灵魂进行环境评估和环境测试的密集过程。因此,"转折点"就代表了基于这一信息收集过程的结果做出的重要抉择。

The fact of the matter is that the data available to test either of these formulations is so scanty at present that a definitive answer is simply out of the question.One approach that I favor is to operate as if) both processes might be happening in an interactive and mutually determining manner.
事实是,我们现有的数据太少,无法对这两种公式作出定论。我倾向于采取一种方法,即假设这两个过程可能正在互相影响、相互决定地发生。

In any case,the "rungs"of the “developmental ladder"correspond to the "turning points”with regard to the emotional/existential attitude and operations formation processes,and they have been labeled “outcomes”or“decisions”here for the purpose of brevity and clarity.
无论如何,"发展阶梯"的"阶段"都与情感/存在态度和形成过程的"转折点"相对应,为了简洁明了,它们在此被称为"结果"或"决定"。

What follows is a layout of a series of such “outcomes”and/or “decisions”in terms of what the) emotional/existential "issue"or area of living is.Each will be discussed in terms of what the results are if; the "outcome"or “decision"is "positive”(ie.,"releasing"of the human potentials involved)or "negative", (ie,arresting of the unfolding of the particular capabilities in question).
以下是针对"情感/存在"问题或生活领域的一系列"结果"和"决策"的布局。每一项都将根据其结果是"积极的"(即释放相关人类潜力)还是"消极的"(即阻碍特定能力的发展)进行讨论。

Figure 1 presents the "developmental ladder"in terms of what issues are involved,and in terms of what the “positive"results and the "negative"results are for the various"outcomes"or"decisions.”This is) done for each "critical period,"from the point of conception to the point where this "critical period"process) apparently comes to an end
图 1 展示了从怀孕到"关键期"过程结束的整个"发展阶梯",涉及各种问题,以及每个"结果"或"决定"的"积极"和"消极"影响。这一过程针对每个"关键期"进行了分析。

Beyond the last “outcome”or“decision”in the"developmental ladder,"the individual's developmental processes seem to shift from emotional/existential matters to skill, knowledge and wisdom development.
在满足基本生存需求之后,个人的发展重心会从情感和价值观转向技能、知识和智慧的提升。

In other words,the primary developmental process shifts from formation to elaboration,integration and enculuration.Other aspects of the individual's functioning and capabilities take center stage at this point --particularly the physical,mental,moral,social,pragmatic and spiritual development processes,期
换言之,发展的主要过程从形成转变为细化、整合和文化习得。此时个体的其他方面,如身心、道德、社交、实用和精神发展,都开始占据重要地位。

One of the first things to note about this model is that the critical periods start intra-uterine.This based on the information recently accumulating that indicates that a great deal is going on during that part of the developmental process.Another thing to observe is that the critical periods often overlap,and that sometimes the“turning point”is the same for two different outcomes or decisions.
这个模型的主要特点是,关键发育期从孕期就开始了。这是基于最新研究表明,在胎儿发育过程中发生了大量重要的事情。另外值得注意的是,这些关键发育期常常会重叠,有时同一个"转折点"会影响两个不同的发展结果或决策。

This is because development is not a step-series of beginnings and endings.It is rather a multi-level process undertaking in which much is going on simultaneously.It should also be noticed that some of the critical periods extend from within the intra-uterine period to points in time after birth.
这是因为发展不是一个线性的过程,而是一个多方面、同步进行的过程。还要注意到,一些关键时期从胎儿期延续到出生后的某些时间点。

Finally,it should be seen that the critical period durations and the turning points indicated are “rough ball park estimates”based on a wealth of clinical data,with a growing body of research data backing them up.
最后,应该知道,关键期的持续时间和转折点只是"大概估计",这是基于大量的临床数据,并且越来越多的研究数据证实了这些估计。

This whole model is intended to convey the general characteristics of the emotional/existential development process.It also makes it very clear how early emotional development starts,and how soon after birth it is seemingly completed in its fundamental formative process.
这个模型旨在阐述情感和存在性发展的一般特征,同时也清楚地表明,情感发展从出生后很快就开始,并在基本形式上很快完成了其形成过程。

Learning is,of course,lifelong,but it is also essentially an "inverted pyramid"process in which the very early stuff has a profound and continuing effect on all subsequent experiences,interpretations,actions and learning.
学习是终生的过程,但它更像是一个倒金字塔式的过程,最早学习到的东西会深深影响后续的所有经历、理解、行动和学习。

The model is not intended to be a definitive statement of the exact time spans of the critical periods, nor of the precise dates of the turning points for the outcomes or decisions.As for the decisions themselves, it could be said that they each represent a radical shift in the individual's perspective and approach to life.
这个模型并不是要对关键时期的确切时间跨度或转折点的精确日期做出决定性的陈述。至于这些决策本身,可以说它们每一个都代表了个人观点和生活方式的根本转变。

It also seems that these decisions are cumulative in their effects.That is,each decision is a major milestone of emotional development,and the results of the earlier decisions profoundly affect(and sometimes even pre-determine)the subsequent decisions.
这些决定似乎会逐步积累影响。也就是说,每个决定都是情感发展的一个关键时刻,早期决定的结果会深深影响(有时甚至预先决定)后续的决定。

THE DEVELOPMENTAL LADDER
成长之梯

FIGURE 1:A“DECISION LADDER”MODEL OF EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT,WITH THE“CRITICAL PERIOD”RANGES AND “TURNING POINTS
图 1:情感发展的"决策梯度"模型,包含"关键期"范围和转折点”

Starting with the beginning decision,TO CONCEIVE,the initial step can be thought of as a random outcome of the sperm swim or as a decision by the soul.In cither case,once the physical process of joining. the egg and sperm has occurred,the Great Journey has begun.
从开始怀孕这个决定开始,最初的步骤可以被视为精子游动的随机结果,也可以认为是灵魂的决定。无论哪种情况,一旦精子和卵子结合的物理过程发生,伟大的旅程就此开始了。

Immediately,the budding individual commences experiencing the nature of the life that is in store for them,in the form of the physiological and structural conditions surrounding the rapidly muliplying cell. complex.At the same time,the individual is also experiencing the energetic,emotional,mental and other fields and emanations from the mother,and to a greatly lesser extent,from the environment.
这个新生命开始立即感受到即将到来的生活的种种本质——生理和结构上的条件变化包围着快速分裂的细胞群;同时,这个个体也能感知到来自母亲以及环境的各种能量、情感和心理的影响,其中母亲的影响显然要远远大于环境。

If things are going well,the fetus continues to form and develop.But if the intra-uterine environment is inhospitable,if the genetic equipment is not up to the requirements,and/or if the soul finds that things are not in congruence with its plans,sooner or later there will be a spontaneous abortion outcome around the TO CONTINUE decision period.
若一切顺利,胎儿会继续生长发育。但如果子宫内环境不适合,遗传条件不足,或者灵魂发现情况与预期不符,很快就会发生自发性流产,这通常发生在"是否继续"的决定时期。

While the formal data on this are pretty much restricted to some rather delimited physical conditions,  it is strongly suspected that many such "miscarriages"are the result of unsuitable conditions brought about Cby the biochemical effects of negative emotions,by lifestyleenvfronmental stress reactions,by ingested: substances,by intra-uterine conditions and muscular responses,and/or by genetic non-viability factors.)
虽然这方面的正式数据主要局限于某些有限的物理条件,但我们强烈怀疑许多"流产"案例都是由于负面情绪的生化影响、生活方式和环境压力、摄入物质、子宫内环境和肌肉反应,以及遗传不可行因素等导致的不适当条件所造成的。

It is also suspected that such outcomes may sometimes be the results of such indirect traumas as the hearing and feeling of emotional violence in the environment or the effects of “bad vibes”,-energy fields, psychic emanations,injunctions,intense desires or admonitions coming from the mother and/or the environment.
也有人怀疑,这些结果有时可能源于间接创伤,比如听到和感受到环境中的情感暴力,或受到母亲和/或环境中的"负能量场"、"心灵感应"、命令、强烈欲望或责骂的影响。

In any case,the model will assume that there are no accidents,and that spontaneous abortion is itself a decision --in this case by the soul primarily,based on emotional body experiences,perceptions, interpretations and evaluations.
这种模型假定不会发生任何意外事故,自发性流产本身就是一个决定,主要由灵魂根据情感体验、认知、解释和评估做出的决定。

It is assumed that the individual simply found it impossible to sustain life,based on what has happened up till that point.The time span for this decision runs from conception to birth,/with the "hottest spot”(the turning point)typically being around two to three months along,intra-uterine.
个人可能认为自己无法承担生命,这是基于此前发生的事情。此决定的时间跨度从受孕到出生,最关键时期通常在妊娠 2-3 个月期间的子宫内。

Incidentally,it is probably the case that a considerable proportion of such outcomes are intended from the destiny design point onward.In other words,in many cases,this early experience with this particular mother/environment is all that was wanted by the soul for this particular embodiment experience. However,there are other cases where things took a turn that does not sustain the intended destiny,and the
实际上,这种结果中很大一部分是从命运设计之初就有意而为之的。换言之,在许多情况下,这个特定母亲/环境带来的早期经历就是灵魂在这次化身中所要获得的全部。但也有其他情况,事情的发展偏离了原定的命运方向,

decision to leave is made.
决定离开的行动已经进行。

The Birth Process
生产过程

If the individual opts to continue,s/he is still "sampling"the nature of the life that is coming,in the form of the intra-uterine experiences that transpire all the way along.There is probably some pretty well organized information-processing going on after the central nervous system is fairly well formed (around 3. months along).
如果个人选择继续,他/她仍在初步体验即将到来的生活。在中枢神经系统大致形成后(约 3 个月左右),可能会有较为有条理的信息处理过程。

The effects of the biochemical,aural,muscular,traumatic event,and energy inputs continue to be felt and interpreted.As the results indicated in Figure 1 for the critical period prior to birth show,this process results in another live-or-die decision that has as its "hot spot"at the period around the birth point.
生化、听觉、肌肉、创伤事件以及能量输入的影响持续得到感知和诠释。如图 1 所示,在出生前的关键期内,这一过程导致了另一个生死抉择,其"焦点"集中于出生附近的时期。

Undoubtedly,a major and increasingly important component of the inputs to this decision are the growing preoccupation with the implications of the impending event by their mother.For this whole process is taking place in the context of her life,and everything about the events immediately prior to and during the birth process itself is a microcosm of her life in general.
毫无疑问,他们母亲日益关注即将到来的事件,这已成为这一决定的重要因素之一。这一切都发生在她的生活中,分娩过程前后的一切都反映了她整个生活的缩影。

And as such,it is also a miniature encapsulation of how life is going to be for the infant/child.That is,the physical and human environment involved,the nature of the context of this gestation/birth,and the; specifics of the birth process itself are all in-depth reflective of how things are going to go "on the outside." In effect,then,the birth is like a“pre-view of coming attractions.”It seems likely,therefore,that such' things as premature,breech,Cacsarian,cord-around-the-neck,and death births are also decisions and) perhaps destiny designs.
因此,出生也可以视为即将到来的人生预演。婴儿将要面临的物理和社会环境、孕育和出生的背景以及整个出生过程都会深刻地影响其未来的人生。因此,各种特殊情况,如早产、产科手术、脐带绕颈等,都可能在某种程度上影响婴儿今后的发展。

Then there is the birth experience itself.Unfortunately,due to our evolutionary history,infants iny effect have to come out about half way through the gestation process in order to get the over-sized head through the pelvic cavity,the zoologists inform us.The result is that the birth process is no trivial experience-event for humans.
由于我们的进化史,婴儿需要在怀孕过程中大约一半的时候就出生,以便让过大的头部通过盆腔。这使得人类的出生过程是一个充满挑战的体验,而非一件小事。

The individual has to undergo anything from one to say 75 or more hours of extreme pressure from) the uterus against a too-small birth canal and exit hole.And then too,at some point during this process,the; protection of the amniotic fluid is abruptly removed as “the water breaks.”Sometimes,too,the infant has to experience the effects of the anesthetic and/or the instruments such as the forceps.
个体必须遭受从子宫对过小的产道和出口施加长达 1 到 75 小时或更长时间的极度压力。同时,在这个过程中,保护性的羊水也突然被破裂。有时,婴儿还需承受麻醉剂或产钳等医疗器具的影响。

Finally,they have to go through a rather horrendously painful emergence into an incredlbly fiercely) loud,cold,bright and harsh environment.Their skin is extremely sensitive due to months in fluit and they, experience the effects of gravity and of having to abruptly shift from placental to lung life-support.
最后,他们必须经历一个极为痛苦的过程,才能来到这个声音巨大、寒冷、明亮且严酷的环境。由于在体液中生活了数月,他们的皮肤极为敏感,必须适应重力和从胎盘到肺部生命支持系统的突然切换。

And all too frequently still,they may have to face separation from the mother,rather than hav.vo the bonding-generating skin-to-skin contact,because of accepted birthing practices or of the beliefs o.the people administering to the birth process.Of course,all this is colored by and experienced in the contexi fi the preceding several months of events,and of the particulars of the individual's specific birth experiencing and the resulting programming.
此外,他们经常不得不与母亲分离,而无法进行亲密的肌肤接触,这是由于现行的分娩做法或参与分娩过程的人的信仰所致。当然,这一切都受到前几个月发生的事件以及个人具体分娩经历及其所产生的影响的影响和经历。

Naturally,the worse it has been along the way and is in the birth process,the more likely it is that the decision will match the implications of what has happened.It is perhaps rather surprising in the light off all this that there aren't more “still births”than there are,considering the violence with which so many? people are taken through during this profoundly impactful“rite of passage.”
自然,经历越是艰难,生产越是如此,做出的决定就越可能与之前发生的一切相符。令人惊讶的是,尽管人们在这个深具影响的"过渡仪式"中经历了如此大的痛苦,但却没有出现更多流产的情况。

The Early Period Post-Partum
产后初期

The individual now enters the period of maximal vulnerability.They are fresh out of the "protective cocoon,”and they are at the mercy of the external environment.As a result,the information and impetus for the next decision,whether or not to live beyond early infancy,starts avalanching in on the individual
个人已经脱离了"保护性围壳",处于外部环境的影响之下,这是一个最为脆 弱的时期。此时,影响是否度过早期幼儿期的各种信息和动力,开始如雪球般涌向这 个人。

They procced to find out whether there is enough[protection supportl nurturance]]stimulation/and teaching events to make it feasible to continue.The question is whether the basic bottom line biological needs are being met --including emotional and energetic inputs.If the environment is not doing so,there will result a condition that has been called “failure to thrive.”
他们继续查明是否有足够的保护、抚养、刺激和教导支持来维持下去。关键是基本的生物需求,包括情感和能量供给,是否得到满足。如果环境没有提供这些,就会导致一种被称为"生长不良"的状况。

It means the individual is giving up and going into a vacuously apathetic collapse of the vital life force while the individual"puts in their time,"waiting for the final run-down to arrive.
这意味着个人已放弃抗争,陷入了一种冷漠无感的状态,对生命似乎已失去了热忱,只是机械地"度日如年",等待最终的衰亡。

By the way,this can occur on a pretty subtle level,and it also involves the soul's intentions that take into consideration all manner of things we are not aware of.So it is not necessarily a grossly neglectful situation.
这种情况实际上可能发生在很微妙的层面上,它也和灵魂的意愿有关,这些意愿会考虑到我们无法意识到的各种因素。所以这未必是一种严重的疏忽。

On the other hand,if there are enough necessities of life to make it clear that the environment will support and sustain the individual,the emerging person will begin shifting their attention more and more from the physical to the social environment in their assessment undertaking.
另一方面,如果生活必需品足够,表明环境能够支持和维持个人,那么这个新兴的个体就会将越来越多的注意力从物质环境转向社会环境,来进行评估和判断。

This whole process of evaluating and deciding whether there is enough to sustain them goes on from conception till about the end of the first year,with the turning point being somewhere around one month, post-partum,give or take some days.
这个评估和决定是否有足够资源抚养孩子的过程,从怀孕开始一直持续到孩子出生后大约一年左右,关键时期是在产后一个月左右。

The Personality Formation Process
个性形成过程

This is a brief discussion of the processes that take over when the individual shifts from the physical support systems to the social environment as their next assessment/experience/formative process.
这是对个人从物理支持系统转向社会环境时的评估、体验和形成过程的简要讨论。

The way the thing works is that the family system is in effect like an attempt to make up for the absence of the entire community in supporting and sustaining the parents as they attempt to raise the children,due to collective soul developmental events.
这种家庭系统的存在,是为了弥补整个社区在支持和维持父母抚养子女方面的缺失,这是由于社会集体灵性发展的原因造成的。

In our evolutionary history,everyone participated in rearing the children,out of which the "in loco parentis"concept emerged.However,since the agricultural revolution,the situation is like a sinking ship.
在我们的进化史上,每个人都参与抚养下一代,形成了"代理父母"的观念。然而,自农业革命以来,这种情况已经发生了巨大的变化。

As the African saying goes,"It takes a village to raise a child"--about 250 people.But we are now in a situation where two or,increasingly,only one person is trying to carry this off unassisted and largely unappreciated and unsupported by the community and society.
正如非洲谚语所说,"养育孩子需要整个村庄"——大约 250 人。但现在我们面临这样一种情况:只有两个人,或更少的人在单独承担这个重任,而社区和社会很少给予支持和认可。

As a result,the family quickly assesses the incoming infant,and they in effect hand them a "bucket" as they tell them to "bail --over there!"--to help keep the ship afloat.The family system has been severely life-threatened by impact of this new individual because of the tremendous needs and demands of the infant.
因此,家人迅速评估了即将到来的婴儿,并给予他们一个"桶",告诉他们"往那里漂"--来帮助维持家庭的稳定。这个新成员的巨大需求和要求给这个家庭系统带来了严重的生存压力。

These "bailing stations"become the "life-scripts"of the individual,as they play out their assigned roles and functions throughout the childhood process.The "bailing stations"or"life-scripts"are discussed in the book by the author called "Its All in the Family."
这些"逃生站"成为个人的"人生剧本",因为他们在整个成长过程中按既定的角色和职责来演绎人生。作者在著作"这都是家庭"中探讨了这些"逃生站"或"人生剧本"的概念。

During pregnancy,infancy and the first two years of life,the personality core or self-system is forming .As is being discussed here,during that period,several “critical periods”are occurring in which the individual has to assess for several months how they will settle the matter of where they are coming from or a number of profound existential issues.Their“decisions”on these matters permeate their functioning for
在怀孕、婴儿期和人生前两年,个人的核心人格或自我系统正在形成。在这一时期,个人要花几个月的时间,评估和解决自己的根源和一些深层的存在性问题。他们对这些问题的决定,会深深影响到他们今后的整体行为和功能。

the rest of their life.
余生。

Now what happens is that the “bailing station”processes and "life-scripts"largely determine the experiences that precipitate the outcomes or "decisions"of the "developmental ladder,"and then these decisions interact and interlock with the "life-script"requirements for survival in and of the family.
现在情况是,"脱困站"的处理和"生命脚本"在很大程度上决定了导致"发展阶梯"的"决定"所经历的过程,然后这些决定又与"生命脚本"的生存需求相互影响和联系。

These inter-twined processes then become the “warp and woof"of the person's personality --and of their psychopathology.Together they are the foundation of the formation of the individual's personality and destiny.
这些交织的过程最终形成了一个人的性格特点和精神状态。它们共同塑造了个人的性格和命运。

We will now embark upon a brief examination of the "Developmental Flat-Lines"that occur when the circumstances during the "critical turning point"periods are grossly non-optimal,starting with the first “Developmental Flat Line”
我们将简要探讨在"关键转折期"环境严重不理想时出现的"发展停滞"

The “ICE CUBE”
冰块

At the same time that the basic physical survival issue is being decided,another almost as profound issue is being worked on.This is the matter of whether to "turn on"to other people or not -- whether to develop the capacity to be an empathically.resonating and caring person.
除了解决基本生存问题之外,另一个同样重要的问题也在同时被处理,那就是是否要主动与他人沟通,是否要发展成为一个富有同理心和关爱精神的人。

The processing on it has gone on since conception,but it becomes a"hot issue"immediately after birth,especially if the skin-to-skin bonding or other caretaker connection did not occur.
这个问题从怀孕开始就一直存在,但如果新生儿和照顾者之间未能建立肌肤接触或其他亲密关系,这个问题就会在出生后立即变得非常敏感。

There is in all of us an innate capacity to connect with the human race through extensive experience with the “releasing stimuli”involved in person-to-person contact.The primary person through whom to do this most effectively is the mother,due to all the biologic imprints that took place during gestation and birth and to our evolutionary history.However,it can be done with a mother substitute who is the consistent caretaker.
我们每个人都有与整个人类社群产生联系的内在能力,这是通过与人际交往中涉及的"释放刺激"的广泛经历而实现的。最有效的途径是通过母亲,因为怀孕和出生期间发生的所有生物学烙印以及我们的进化历史。不过,也可以通过一个一直是照顾者的母亲替代品来实现。

The individual comes to attach to their primary caretaker in such a way as to form a "double bubble"—“omnipotent fusion,”which provides the basis for the establishment of the “survival symbiosis" of mutual dependency and intense vulnerability/openness to impact by each other.
个人会如此依恋主要照顾者,形成一种"双重泡泡"——"全能融合"的状态,这为建立相互依赖且极度脆弱/易受影响的"生存共生"关系奠定了基础。

This is Nature's way of correcting for the "interrupted gestation"result of our evolutionary history by birthing us half way through our zoologically evolved gestation period.
这是大自然为了弥补我们进化历史中"过早出生"的结果而采取的方式,把我们生产在我们生理上应该完全发育的时间点之前。

In this normal symbiosis,the mother and infant become like one organism for a time,which serves as a partial return to the womb state via the mother's super-sensitive need-meeting and social responsiveness created by her generative process,her symbiotic knowingness of the infant's experience,and the eliciting effects of her bonded infant.
在这种自然的共生关系中,母亲和婴儿暂时会融为一体,这是通过母亲对婴儿的细致入微的照顾和相互交流所实现的,这也是一种部分回归子宫状态的过程。

In the meantime,the infant has imprinted on the mother's smell,biochemistry,voice and being from the gestation,birth and bonding process.In addition,the infant is also able to symbiotically know of their mother's experiences and feelings and even thoughts,at some primitive level.They form quite a profound pair,
婴儿从妊娠、出生和亲密互动中,已经对母亲的气味、生化特征、声音和存在产生了深厚的印象。此外,婴儿也能够一定程度上了解母亲的经历、感受,甚至有些简单的想法。两人之间形成了非常密切的关系。

The result of all this,above and beyond physical survival and health, is the ability to have that incredible “rush”that Robinson Crusoe had when he saw Friday's footprint.That rush is the experience of the stuff the Universe is composed of-(love)with or without the erotic accompaniment
这一切的最终结果,不仅仅是身体的生存和健康,更在于能够拥有罗宾逊·克鲁索看到星期五脚印时所感受到的那种难以置信的激动。这种激动就是体验到宇宙的本质——爱,不论有没有伴有色情的因素。

It is caring about people,"getting off"on them,being concerned for their welfare,needing continuous contact with them,desiring to contribute to them,and deeply abhorring harming them.Indeed, along with the ability to love goes hand-in-hand the ability to feel guilt over real, potential or symbolic or imagined damage to people -or to anything,for that matter.
这体现了一种对他人的关切和关心,不仅需要与他们保持持续接触,而且想要为他们贡献自己的力量,同时也深深厌恶伤害他们。这种能力与同时拥有内疚感的能力是相互联系的。

With that comes the ability to be impacted by social isolation and rejection,or even by the threat of it.Along with this comes the capacity to be angry)at and disgusted with ourselves if we cause"evil" (damage).In a word,it is the ability to have,experience and manifest commitment and guilt The critical period for this capacity to come into full fruition is relatively short --up to 3 months after birth,give or take some.The turning point is around one month of age.
这意味着人有受到社会孤立和排斥的影响,甚至面临这种威胁的能力。同时也有因自己造成"伤害"而感到愤怒和厌恶的能力。换句话说,就是拥有承诺和内疚的能力。这种能力在出生后大约 3 个月内达到巅峰,而转折点在出生后 1 个月左右。

If the individual comes into a situation where his or her experience of people is rather severely limited,however,--the half-open drawer in a drug addict's one room flat type of situation -the critical period will pass,and the individual will decide that other people are no more interesting or important to them than are cats,cars or chairs.
如果个人遇到一种人际交往非常有限的情况,例如毒瘾人士住处的半掩抽屉这类场景,那么这一关键期最终也会过去,个人会认为其他人对自己与猫、车和椅子一样有趣或重要。

The individual's reaction to people will have none of that special quality of love/guilt.In addition. because of their inability to work with the stuff of the Universe,their capacity for joy and significance also is cut off.As a result,life is rather pale to them.with no real meaningfulness,joy or love.
这个人对他人的反应缺乏特殊的爱与内疚感。此外,由于无法与宇宙万物和谐相处,他们的喜悦与生命意义也受到了限制。因此,他们的生活显得乏味无趣,缺乏真正的意义、喜悦和爱。

So they start going for the only positive emotion they can feel --fascination.They become totally concentrated on generating interesting and exciting events and experiences.They start "pushing buttons"in their environment,just to see what will happen.
于是他们开始追逐唯一能感受到的积极情绪——好奇心。他们完全专注于制造有趣刺激的事件和体验。他们开始对环境"按鈕"进行试探,只为看看会发生什么。

They quickly find out that people are by far and away the most interesting objects to manipulate, because their responses are complex and"strange"/fascinating.This is because the individual totally lack
他们很快发现,人是最有趣的对象,因为他们的反应极其复杂而迷人。这是由于个人完全缺乏

the capacity to comprehend,empathize or care,as well as to not be able to recognize or understand what emotional reactions in other's mean
理解、共情或关心的能力,以及无法识别或理解他人情绪反应的能力

So they push people's buttons "for the sheer hell of it."They lack any sense of affinity,connection or concern,because they lack the ability to care.They are emotionally cold,and they are capable of doing things like walking up to the debutante at her coming out party and proceeding to rape her right then and there (taken from the "Mask of Sanity"by Cleckley).
他们仅为了寻求乐趣而刻意挑弄他人的情绪。他们缺乏同情心和关爱,因为他们无法真正去关心他人。他们情感冷漠,甚至可以当着众人的面,强奸一位刚成年的少女(摘自克莱克利的《理性面具》)。

They have almost no capacity to anticipate consequences or to learn from social and emotional experience, again because they don't care.They are an impersonal calculator who is bored and seeking to stir up some excitement by doing whatever it takes to give them some sort of zip,some kind of immediate payoff.Needless to say,their judgment is almost literally soul-less and mindless,and they often end up terminating themselves during childhood in some totally foolhardy excitement-seeking episode.
他们缺乏预测后果和从社会及情感经验中学习的能力,这是因为他们毫无感情。他们就像一台冷冰冰的计算机,感到无聊,想要做一些刺激的事情来获得即时的满足感。可以说,他们的判断是完全没有灵性和理性的,最终常常在孩童时期就因为一些极端冒险的行为而葬送了自己的生命。

Those who do survive into adulthood usually end up in the maximum-security section of the prison system.From their cage-within-a-cage,they will say with steely coldness,"Of course I'd kill you if you were in my way --say in a telephone booth I wanted to use.Why not?"(Taken from a Canadian Broadcasting Corporation television documentary).They are not "grandstanding."They are just telling it like it is.
那些幸存至成年的人,通常最后都会被关押在最高安全监狱的监狱系统中。在他们狭小的牢房里,他们会冷冰冰地说:"当然,如果你挡在我的路上 - 比如在我想用的电话亭里 - 我肯定会杀了你。为什么不呢?"(摘自加拿大广播公司的一部电视纪录片)。他们并非在夸张,而是在如实描述现实情况。

The process by which such"ice cubes"are generated seems to involve a(mother who exploits. manipulates,mistreats and handles them like an object (due to severe circumstances and/or to extreme personality damage).
这种通过剥削、操纵、虐待和将对方视为物品的方式生成"冰块"的过程,似乎源于母亲极端的环境条件和/或极端的人格损害。

The mother in effect systematically destroys the infant's faith in human trustability and decency, after already having failed to release the individual's capacity to connect with and understand other human beings,via gross neglect.
这位母亲有系统地破坏婴儿对人性善良的信任,而且之前也未能培养孩子与他人沟通和理解的能力,这都是由于她的严重忽视造成的。

As a result,the individual only sees people's weaknesses,vulnerabilities and "hooks"--often with X-ray vision eyes --but they are utterly blind to people's concern,significance or contribution.They throw people off-balance,and they control them that way.
因此,这个人只能看到别人的弱点、脆弱点和"把柄",仿佛拥有 X 光视力,却完全无法感受到他人的关心、重要性或贡献。他们擅长使别人失去平衡并藉此控制他们。

But they consistently totally misread,misunderstand or miscalculate people's strength-and commitment-based behaviors.They substitute exciting attention and emotional reactions from others for human contact and meaningful existence,and they bludgeon and blunder their way to an early grave or to lifelong incarceration.
他们一直无法正确理解他人的力量和决心,却执着于获取他人的关注和情绪反应,这往往导致他们走上歧途,最终可能面临早死或终生监禁的命运。

They are aware at some level that they are "different,"because they can't love or care,and they have mixed feelings about that.They are often intelligent(the ones who survived childhood),but they are shallow and confused about what makes people tick.Their shallow level of soul experience compounds this.
他们意识到自己与众不同,因为无法体验爱与关怀,对此有着矛盾的情感。虽然通常很聪明(那些熬过童年的人),但他们缺乏深度,对人性的本质感到迷茫。他们肤浅的内心世界加剧了这种困惑。

The world is perceived as a great jumble of unconnected and meaningless stimuli,and they have contempt for human pain --they find suffering and submission boring and disgusting.
这个世界在他们眼中就是一片杂乱无章的刺激,毫无关联和意义。他们根本不把人类的痛苦放在眼里,反而觉得这种痛苦和屈从是令人厌恶和无聊的。

They provoke and threaten a lot,not because it makes people hurt so much as to create reactions that are interesting.Authorities and power people are particularly fun for them to poke and provoke,because their reactions create such great ripple effects.
他们总是喜欢挑衅和威胁他人,并非出于令他人伤心的目的,而是为了引发有趣的反应。他们特别喜欢戏弄和挑拨那些有权势的人,因为这些人的反应会引发广泛的连锁效应。

They are incapable of deceit and cheating because they lack the understanding of the human condition necessary to carry it off --or to care to do so.They just go about their business of stirring up excitement any way they can everywhere they go.As to their attitude towards other people,it appears to them that for most of us,life is a pointless hell.
他们无法欺骗或作弊,因为他们缺乏足够理解人性的能力去做到这一点,也不关心这么做。他们只是在努力到处制造兴奋感。对他们来说,大多数人的生活看起来都是毫无意义的痛苦。

Fortunately,this is quite a rare phenomenon,though recent developments in the culture raise the specter of a large increase in such individuals.However,it is also true that almost invariably,they are very young souls who are learning everything for the first time,and such extreme experiences are the bread and butter of their development.And since we are moving up to a higher level of collective soul manifestation, there will be no possibility for such people to show up here any more.
虽然这种情况非常罕见,但最近文化的发展似乎会导致此类人群数量大增。不过,这些通常都是非常年轻的灵魂,正在学习各种事物,这种极端经历对他们的成长至关重要。随着我们正在迈向更高层次的集体灵性体现,这样的人将不再会出现在这里。

We almost never encounter "ICE CUBES"because of their ultimately self-destructive ways--either one of their excitement-seeking episodes has wiped them out,or they are incarcerated in maximum security because they are so unpredictably and uncontrollably lethally dangerous,in addition to being untreatable and unreachable.In a way,this condition is almost as terminal a handicap as "failure to thrive"is.In effect it robs them of their humanity and therefore of their life.
我们很少遇到"冰块",因为他们往往会自我毁灭。要么是他们的冒险行为导致了他们的覆灭,要么是他们的不可预测和致命的危险性导致他们被关押在最高安全监狱,他们无法得到治疗和关注。这种情况几乎和"生长不良"一样是一种致命的残疾。它剥夺了他们的人性,也因此剥夺了他们的生命。

Because of their infrequency of occurrence in our lives,and because of the nature of their ultimate outcomes,the “ICE CUBE”will not be discussed any further in this book.The interested reader is referred to the criminal justice and the psychiatric literature on the psychopath for further information regarding their characteristics and careers.
由于"冰块"在我们日常生活中出现得很少,而且它们的最终结果也特殊,所以本书不会再进一步讨论这个话题。有兴趣了解更多关于精神病患者特征和生涯的读者,可以参考刑事司法和精神病学方面的文献。

The “WIM”
\"WIM\"

Although it is very uncommon for the special set of circumstances and events necessary for the production of an "ice cube"to occur,such is not the case for the next two developmental arrests.If anything,the circumstances of the nuclear family today are resulting in a skyrocketing of the situations that produce the negative results for these next developmental issues.
虽然冰块的形成需要特殊的环境和事件,但接下来要讨论的两个发育问题并非如此少见。如今,核心家庭的环境正导致产生这些负面结果的情况日益增多。

For what has happened is that as we have become highly urbanized and mobile,the nuclear family has been wrenched from its normal support systems,such as a stable culture,a caring community,and a viable extended family.This situation is somewhat like cutting all the tentacles off an octopus,and then telling it to meet its own needs in a highly competitive and food-limited environment.]
随着社会高度城市化和人员流动,核心家庭已经脱离了原有的支持系统,如稳定的文化、关爱的社区和健全的大家庭。这犹如把章鱼的触须全部切断,然后让它在一个激烈竞争和资源匮乏的环境中自给自足。

The net effect is that each family is being asked to do the near impossible with next to nothing,and as the economic system moves into "stagflation,"the demands on the adults in the family are reaching the breakdown point.As a result,the parents are more and more running at the frazzled edge of functioning and they are therefore less and less there for the rather overwhelming needs of the infant.
这意味着每个家庭都被要求在几乎没有任何资源的情况下完成几乎不可能的任务,随着经济体系陷入"滞涨"困境,对家庭成年人的要求已达到崩溃的边缘。因此,父母越来越处于精疲力尽的边缘状态,也越来越无法满足婴儿巨大的需求。

This process is adding to the effects of another shortcoming of our culture,namely the extremely erroneous mythology around the early infancy period that has dominated our thinking and parenting practices until very recently.According to the prevailing view,the infant was an incomplete being who was still “putting itself together”for the first several months.
这个过程正在加剧我们文化中另一个主要问题,即一直以来主导我们思维和育儿实践的关于婴儿早期阶段的极度错误的神话。根据流行观点,婴儿是一个尚未完全成形的个体,需要在最初几个月里"自我组装"。

Their sensory systems were considered to be grossly disorganized,and the infant's responses to the environment were assumed to be largely accidental accompaniments of the "biological block-building"that was going on inside.For instance,all smiles were thought to be due to gas bubbles.The infant was,in effect,considered to be a“sack of potatoes.”
他们的感官系统被认为极度混乱,婴儿对环境的反应被认为主要只是"生物积木建设"过程中偶然出现的伴随现象。例如,所有的微笑都被认为是由于消化气体产生的。婴儿实质上被视为一个"马铃薯袋"。

Therefore,according to the myth,all you had to do was give them a certain minimum amount of care and contact.You were,for the most part,to leave them to their "vegetative"and "construction work" processes on their own hook.They were certainly not sentient beings that had any understanding about what was happening to and around them.
因此,根据这个神话,你只需要给予它们最基本的照料和接触就可以了。大部分时间,你应该让它们独立进行"植物"和"建筑工作"的过程。它们显然不是有意识的生物,对发生在它们身上和周围的事物毫无理解。

This“eat-change-sleep"concept of the infant's early developmental experience and process was bought by nearly everyone for ages,especially after we moved into the cities and we isolated the nuclear family.The experts assured us that the infant's experience was one of a“blooming,buzzing confusion.”
这个"吃-改变-睡"的概念,描述了婴儿早期发展的经历和过程,在我们搬进城市并隔离了核心家庭后,这个观点被大家广泛接受。专家们也向我们保证,婴儿的体验就像"朦胧并嗡嗡作响"一样。

It wasn't until recent years that it became apparent that infants are in fact highly sensitive and sentiently interactive and vulnerable beings who have a great need to become an integrated part of the family life from the very beginning.They engage in a "kinesic dance"with the people in their environment at the rate of sixteen interactions a second --literally dancing their way into the human community.
婴儿其实是非常敏感、有感知能力且脆弱的生物,从一开始就渴望成为家庭生活的一部分。他们以每秒 16 次的频率与周围的人进行"动力舞蹈",这样融入人类社区。

It was also not known that even the first hour without skin-to-skin contact between the infant and the mother or other caretaker in his or her life couid create permanent effects on the infant's emotional development,due to the fact that the basic biology of early infancy is a symbiosis with the mother and the environment that produces imprinting effects that last for their lifetime.
我们还发现,即使婴儿刚出生就没有与母亲或其他照顾者进行肌肤接触,也可能会对婴儿的情感发展产生长期影响。这是因为,早期婴儿期的生理状态依赖于与母亲和环境的密切关系,会在婴儿脑海中形成持久的印记。

Perhaps the major purpose and need of the infant has that is above and beyond sheer physical survival support is to attach to at least one other human being --to establish emotional closeness.
婴儿最重要的需求,不仅仅是获得生理上的生存支持,更是要与至少一个人建立情感亲密关系。

To do this,they have to in effect emotionally merge with the person most committed to caring fol their needs.They establish comfortable rhythms with the caretaker through the subtle kinesic dance process, which results in a mutually dependent relationship between the infant and their primary caretaker.
为此,他们需要在情感上与最致力于照顾他们需求的人融为一体。通过微妙的身体语言互动,他们与照顾者建立了舒适的节奏,从而形成了婴儿与主要照顾者之间的相互依赖关系。

A mutual emotional bond forms,and the primary caretakers begin to sort out the infant's pre-verbal meanings and language beginnings.They begin to intuitively know the correct responses to different qualities of noise and activity from the infant.It is a mutually beneficial union of biological rhythms,which results in an emotional symbiosis in which each needs the other for comfort and confidence.
一种亲密的情感联系形成,主要照顾者开始理解和回应婴儿尚未言语的需求。他们自然而然地明白如何对应不同的声音和活动。这是一种相互依赖的生物节奏结合,产生了情感上的纽带,双方都需要对方来获得安慰和信心。

Now if the child encounters smiling hatred--an uninterpretable mixture of love and hatred in the first few months of their life due to severe ambivalence in the mother,the infant can't tell whether their mother's love or her hate is her real feeling,because she feels both in equal amounts --and she smiles all the time to cover for that fact.The result will be a thorough cognitive confusion.This produces in the infant a considerable sense of “rudderlese-ness"with regard to running their "ship of life.”
如果孩子在生命的最初几个月遇到了令人费解的微笑中掺杂着憎恨的情绪--源于母亲严重的矛盾情感,婴儿无法判断母亲的爱还是她的恨才是真实的感受,因为她同时感受到了这两种情绪,并且总是用微笑来掩盖这一事实。结果就是造成了彻底的认知混乱。这会使婴儿产生相当大的"失去航向"的感觉,无法掌控自己"生命之船"的方向。

The mother has a lot of et dependency needs,inadequacy feelings,intimacy-incompetence, vulnerability-avoidance,responsibility-paranoia,run-amok-anxiety,and/or unconscious hostility.
这位母亲存在许多情感需求,如依恋依赖、自我感觉不足、亲密关系障碍、回避脆弱、责任偏执、焦虑失控以及潜在的敌意情绪。

She also frequently has an inordinate need to be in complete control,resulting in superficial care with litle or no real nurturance or emotional support coming through,all the while appearing to be doing it all right.Consequently,the infant ends up silently screaming,"Where's Mommy!!??"--("WIM").
她通常会过度渴望对局面拥有完全的掌控权,这导致她的关怀只是流于表面,缺乏真正的关怀和情感支持,但同时她仍然表现得好像一切都做得很好。结果是,婴儿最终会无声地呐喊"妈妈在哪里?"("WIM")。

The mothering experience is significantly distorted,and the infant never has the kind of foundation- providing compassionate comprehension and comprehensible care taking that they need to develop the internal navigation systems that match the external realities that they face.
母亲经历严重扭曲,婴儿从未获得所需的基础支持,即慈悲体贴和可理解的照顾,这是他们发展内在导航系统以匹配所面临外部现实所需的。

They also are not able to develop a system of understanding and determination of their own internal experiences.They are therefore constantly looking for their bearings and for the mothering they are not geting.
她们缺乏形成自我理解和判断内心状态的能力,因此一直在寻找指引和母亲般的呵护,但都未能获得。

They end up with no sense of safety,community or connectedness.Their experience is that they are an oddball ejecfee-rejectee-dejectee who has no sense of the structure of the universe.They feel confused, separated and desperately lacking in what they need to survive and function effectively.This is the basis for the so-called "schizoid personality,"who is an emotionally flattened cautious withdrawer.
他们最终失去了安全感、社区和联系感。他们的经历是,他们是一个格格不入、被排斥、沮丧的人,没有对宇宙结构的认知。他们感到困惑、隔离,迫切需要获得生存和有效运作所需的东西。这就是所谓的"分裂性人格障碍"的基础,他们是情感冷淡、谨慎的退缩者。

The individual is more or less forced to develop his or her own idiosyncratic world-picture and life- navigational system that doesn't work very well,but which is better than nothing.
这个人不得不形成自己独特的世界观和生活方式,虽然效果不太理想,但总比什么都没有要好。

However,this world-view of theirs throws them"out of sync"with the surrounding world in a number of important ways.It also reflects and generates experiences that sustain a fearful and detached withdrawal based on a deep non-comprehension of the world.
然而,他们的这种世界观使他们在许多重要方面与周围的世界脱节。这也反映并产生了一种基于对世界深深不了解而产生的恐惧和疏离感。

They try to compensate for this by developing a rather rigid and hugely controlling pattern,in an attempt to impose their own order on to the seemingly incomprehensible flow of events around them.
为了应对周围看似难以理解的事件流,他们试图建立一种相当严格和高度控制的模式,企图将自己的秩序强加其上。

They themselves develop an inordinate need for the controllability of things,for things to be comprehensible and containable.Meanwhile,they are operating with a kind of figure-ground confusion as the basis of their indeterminate experience of reality.
他们极需控制事物,需要事物是可以理解和掌握的。但实际上,他们对现实的体验存在模糊不清的状态。

The result is an infantile blind hostility that ends up in permanent avoidance of vulnerability and emotional availability.They develop a great deal of projected hostility from their own self-hatred,and they react with defensive offensive tactics and/or with total withdrawal.They are intensely intimacy- incompetent,and they also experience others as being the source of considerable pain and danger.
这种结果是一种缺乏成熟情感的盲目敌意,最终导致了对自我脆弱性和亲密关系的永久回避。他们会产生大量由自我厌恶引发的投射性敌意,并会采取防御性攻击行为或完全退缩。他们缺乏亲密关系的能力,并把他人视为巨大痛苦和危险的源泉。

Their body form reflects their profound quandary experience.They tend to be rather bowed forward, and they typically have a certain pallor to their complexion.They are also continuously "uptight"in anticipation of calamitous events and of things getting out of control,with a resulting bodily tension.
他们的身体状态反映出他们经历了深深的困扰。他们通常佝偻着身子,面色苍白。他们一直处于紧张状态,担心会发生灾难性的事情,导致他们身体紧张。

Their face shows a state of chronic anxiety,usually in the form of planar cheeks,tense muscles,and hyper-vigilant,vaguely haunted/hunted eyes.There is apt to be a certain angularity to their body structure, and they have a tendency to a sort of claw-like positioning of their hands.They are forever poised to fight or flight reactions in their whole posture and bearing.]
他们的脸上带有一种慢性焦虑的表情,常常表现为脸颊平板、肌肉紧绷、警觉而略带受伤的目光。他们的身体结构也偏于棱角,手势往往呈现出一种抓握状。他们整个人的姿态都显得随时准备好战斗或逃跑。

In the most extreme version of this pattern,the situation is so destructive of their comprehension and
在这种极端情况下,情况是如此具有破坏性,以至于他们无法理解和掌握

competence that they end up unable to manage their way through the pragmatic environment.In addition, there sometimes is a certain genetic vulnerability and inability to cope with this situation.They then become in effect psychotic,and this version of the pattern is known as schizophrenia.
他们往往无法有效地应对现实环境的挑战。此外,有时候他们还存在遗传上的脆弱性,无法应对这种情况。这导致他们最终陷入精神错乱的状态,这种情况被称为精神分裂症。

The function this serves is,of course,to connect the infant to their people in their environment,so that his or her survival is guaranteed,despite the fact that the infant has no means of independently meeting their own needs.It also commences the development of the infant's emotional body and of the equipment necessary for destiny manifestation.
这个功能的主要作用是将婴儿与其所处的环境和人们联系起来,确保婴儿的生存,因为婴儿自己无法独立满足自己的需求。它还开始培养婴儿的情感和实现命运所需的能力。

The feeding process is a very intense experience for both parties,especially if it is the biological mother breast-feeding.This involves a mutual deeply physiologically pleasant interaction which strongly bonds them to each other,and which bonds their physical rhythms in harmony.A less intense but functionally identical effect occurs with non-breast-feeding by any committed caretaker.
喂养过程是一种非常亲密的体验,尤其是生物学意义上的母亲在进行母乳喂养。这种相互的生理愉悦互动会使双方产生深厚的联系,并使她们的生理节奏协调一致。即使是非母乳喂养的照顾者,也会产生相同的效果,只是强度稍弱。

From this experience comes a basic confidence that people are there for them,that their needs will be met.They feel that they are not alone,that they belong here,that people care,that they deserve caring, that people are sensitive to their needs and they know where the individual is at,that therefore people are relevant and that they are relevant to people,and that the world is a safe,dependable place.
从这次经历中,他们获得了基本的安全感和信任感,觉得周围的人会关心和支持他们,他们的需求会得到满足。他们感到受到认同和归属,觉得自己很重要,周围的人也很重视他们的感受和需求,认为这个世界是安全可靠的。

They also learn that they can impact and that the world will respond to them,and that they therefore can cope and be effective.They learn that they have the right to be here,that their needs are perfectly acceptable,that they have plenty of time to meet their needs,that people like them and like to be there for them and with them,and that the world is glad they are who they are.They feel a real sense of belongingness and oneness with other people and with the universe.
他们发现自己能够对周围的世界产生影响,并且世界也会对他们做出反应。他们意识到自己有存在的权利,他们的需求是可以被接受的,他们有足够的时间来满足这些需求,周围的人喜欢他们并愿意支持他们,整个世界都为他们而感到高兴。他们感到深深的归属感和与他人以及宇宙的融洽。

Unfortunately,most people who become parents in this culture are not aware of all this,and to varying degrees,they themselves did not have this experience in their infancy.That makes most people who are confronted with parenting less than ideally prepared for the task,to put it mildly.They typically have a great deal of competence-anxiety about the whole thing,and most are rather highly ambivalent about the prospects of their future in this situation and role.
不幸的是,在这种社会中,大多数成为父母的人都缺乏育儿方面的全面认知和准备。他们自身也未曾经历过理想的婴儿期成长,这使得他们在面临育儿任务时缺乏足够的信心和准备。大多数人对此都充满了焦虑和矛盾心理。

When they enter parenthood,they have to give up their freedom to do what they want,and they enter a 24-hour-a-day,7-day-a-weck,16-22-year responsibility,and a lifelong commitment.That creates a lot of mixed feelings that are considerably compounded by their sudden recycling of their own infancy experiences and the feelings associated with them.
当人们进入养育子女的角色时,他们不得不放弃自由去做自己想做的事情,承担起一个每天 24 小时,每周 7 天,持续 16-22 年的重大责任,这是一个终身的承诺。这会引发许多复杂的感受,更有甚者还会重新体验自己童年时期的种种感受,进一步加深这些矛盾的情绪。

The infant's survival and successful development depend upon immediate parental response to their distress and need signals,and that can be a major drain in the isolated nuclear family,where there are na relevant and trustworthy associate caretakers available.So the parents have to come through for the infant ir ways that often were not done for them,resulting in the double problem of no effective models and experience to draw upon,and of the resentment and hurt of having to provide what they never got themselves.
婴儿的生存和成功发展依赖于父母立即做出反应,满足他们的痛苦和需求信号。但在孤立的核心家庭中,这可能是一个巨大的负担,因为没有相关可靠的助理照顾者。因此父母不得不以自己从未得到过的方式来满足婴儿,这导致了两个问题:缺乏有效的模型和经验,以及不得不提供自己从未获得过的东西而产生的怨恨和伤痛。

On top of which,the gender roles and the pragmatics of the situation of the nuclear family often result in a father feeling rejected and excluded,and a mother feeling burned out and depressed.Nol infrequently,the parents end up trying to do their thing as a survival strategy under the circumstances, which has the effect of throwing them out of sync with the infant in the kinesic dance.
性别角色和核心家庭的实际处境常常导致父亲感到被拒绝和排斥,母亲则感到焦虑和抑郁。为了生存,父母有时会采取一些方式来处理自己的事情,但结果却使他们与婴儿的互动失去协调。

The tendency is for a spiraling effect to occur,in which the infant escalates his or her demands: while at the same time they start the back-arching and fiercely independent self-protective self-sufficiency reaction.
幼儿倾向于表现出一种螺旋式的效应,他们会不断增加自己的需求,同时也会表现出背部弓起和强烈的自我保护和自给自足的反应。

 That,in turn,tends to drive the parents into more withdrawal to recoup and resource-gather,which escalates the infant's reactions further,and so the spiral goes on.Often the parents end up feeling,“Take her before I kill her!”
这反过来也会使父母更加退缩,试图重新恢复和集中资源,这又会进一步激化婴儿的反应,如此循环往复。最终父母可能会感到"快把她带走,否则我可能真的会伤害她!"

Needless to say,this situation generates all manners of non-optimal functioning patterns on the part of the parents.The effect on the forming infant is,quite profound,due to their having to totally rely upon these early experiences to equip them to function in the world.They take all that is happening as "God's gospel truth,"and they react accordingly.
这种情况无疑会导致父母出现各种非理想的行为模式。这对正在成长的婴儿影响深远,因为他们必须完全依赖这些早期经历来适应这个世界。他们会把发生的一切都视为"上帝的真理",并据此作出反应。

To work through this pattern requires that they be understood in terms of what they are experiencing,and that they be made aware of how it got that way,and that they are only doing what was necessary to survive under the circumstances.
要理解这种模式,需要了解他们的体验,让他们意识到情况是如何演变的,以及他们当时别无选择只能这样做以求生存。

They also need training in the basics of functioning,as they heal their horrified "inner child"(the emergency system that kicks in under circumstances such as these).The healing of this pattern takes a strong role model and teacher who guides them into effective self-sufficiency and self-respect.The critical period for this developmental arrest is from one to three months,with the turning point coming at two
他们也需要学习基本的运作技能,因为他们正在治愈内心受创的"内在孩子"(在这种情况下会激活的应急系统)。这种障碍的治愈需要一个强有力的角色模型和导师,指引他们走向自给自足和自尊。这种发展中断的关键期是 1 到 3 个月,转折点在 2 个月。

months.
月

The “BOOTSTRAP”
引导程序

If,on the other hand,the infant encounters an experience in which the primary caretaker i: emotionally unavailable,withdrawn,preoccupied,self-immersed,narcissistic,neglectful and/or rejecting they end up feeling that they have "driven her away "They then have to decide whether to continue in the absence of her love and support.
如果婴儿遇到主要照顾者情感上缺乏可靠性、冷淡、分神、自我沉浸、自恋、忽视或拒绝的情况,他们最终会感到自己"驱使她远离"。他们接着必须决定是否在没有她的爱与支持的情况下继续前进。

The outcome of this is that "to be or not to be"becomes the question that dominates the infant': experience at some level.The result can be failure to thrive,various intense and lethal grief-related illnesses such as pneumonia pr even the sudden infant death situation --especially around the two to three month period,when the breathing control is shifting from the old to the new brain.
这意味着"生存还是毁灭"成为主导婴儿体验的核心问题。结果可能是生长不良、各种严重且可能致命的悲伤相关疾病,如肺炎,甚至婴儿猝死综合征,特别是在两到三个月大的时期,当呼吸控制从旧大脑转移到新大脑时。

If,however,the infant survives this decision period,it is at a considerable cost.For it leaves a “survival psychology”that affects how they experience their existence for the rest of their life.
如果婴儿幸存下来,虽然可喜,但也给他们以后的生活留下了难以磨灭的影响。他们将带着一种"生存心理"度过余生,这种心理状态会深深影响他们的生活体验。

It is a basic existential position,a foundation feeling upon which all else is built.A negative outcome at this stage results in the feeling that they don't deserve to exist,to take up space and resources,or to impose on the universe or the world around them.
这是一个基本的生存论观点,是一种根基性的感受,一切其他事物都建立在此之上。若在此阶段出现负面结果,会导致他们觉得自己不值得存在,不应占用空间和资源,也不应影响宇宙或周遭的世界。

If the two basic needs of the helpless infant --feeding and emotional stroking --are not met,it defines their existence.The way babies are nurtured determines who the perceive themselves to be,as well as the kinds of strokes they recognize as trustworthy,familiar,comfortable,acceptable,"appropriate,"etc.
如果无助婴儿的两大基本需求—进食和情感抚慰—得不到满足,那将决定他们的生存状态。婴儿的养育方式,影响了他们对自我的认知,以及他们认为哪些抚摸是值得信赖、熟悉、舒适、可接受或"适当"的。

If they are relevantly and sensitively stroked,they develop a deep dependency and a comfort in the world,and they form a full symbiotic relationship with their caretaker.But if their cries and such are ignored or responded to out of sync,they end up feeling unwanted,that their needs will not be met,and that their existence is unimportant,underserved or even"wrong,bad and evil."
如果他们得到合适和体贴的抚摸,他们会培养深深的依恋和对世界的安全感,并与照顾者建立完整的共生关系。但如果忽视他们的哭泣或不恰当地回应,他们最终会感到不被需要、无法满足需求,甚至觉得自己的存在是无足轻重的、被忽视的或者是"错误的、坏的和邪恶的"。

And if the parents respond to the infant's cries as a “broken promise"by the baby that it would love them like they never were in infancy,they will come on with a resulting "punishment"for the infant's being “defiant,”“ungrateful”and“nasty,”and the infant will come to expect “slashes”as their only trustworthy, deserved and familiar form of strokes.They will then add the need for punishment to their sense of non. deservingness and non-belongingness,with a resulting self-abusive lifestyle.
如果父母对婴儿的哭泣产生"背叛"的反应,认为婴儿在婴儿期就应该爱他们,他们就会用"惩罚"来对待那些"叛逆"、"忘恩负义"和"刻薄"的婴儿,婴儿将会期望"鞭打"作为他们唯一值得信赖、应得和熟悉的方式。他们会将对惩罚的需求添加到他们的不配和不被归属感中,导致一种自虐式的生活方式。

The messages that come from this are things like,"Don't be!""Don't feel!""Don't have needs!" and “Don't impose!”And the infant will do what he or she can to comply.
这些信息让婴儿感觉不应该有自己的感受和需求,必须服从他人的要求。

For after they have had enough strokes to "turn on,"to care,to manifest love and guilt,the quality of parenting that they get becomes all-important as an experience.That is,what their caretakers feel about them and what they do with them becomes overwhelmingly important and impactful.And messages like those described above set the themes of their whole life.
在他们经历足够的亲情触摸后,能够激发他们的关心和表达爱与愧疚之时,他们所获得的养育方式就变得非常重要,这种体验极为关键。也就是说,他们的照护者对他们的感受和行为方式产生了决定性的重要影响。而这些信息又成为了他们整个生命历程中的主导主题。

The infant who experiences a non-dependable environment,where their needs are not being heeded sensitively enough,and where the nurturance and protection they must have is not forthcoming enough faces a profound “decision.”As in the preceding two decisions,the issue is whether to leave or to go on in the absence of some of the "bottom line basics."
对于那些生活在不稳定、缺乏充分关怀和保护的环境中的婴儿来说,他们将面临一个深刻的"抉择"。就像前两个抉择一样,问题在于是离开还是在缺乏一些基本需求的情况下继续生活。

The decision to go on at this developmental stage is at the cost of a gut-level "realization"that he or she is alone,that there is no one out there for them,that they have to do it all by themselves.
在这个发展阶段继续前进的决定,代价是一种内心深处的"认识",即自己是孤独的,周围没有人可以依靠,必须独自面对一切。

They then start the long,lonely journey,as they "rear themselves by their own bootstraps."They feel that they have the “mark of Cain,”that they are inherently evil,and that therefore they don't deserve mother's love --that “I'm so bad even my own mother doesn't love me!"
随后,他们开始了孤独漫长的旅程,"靠自己的双手自我成就"。他们感觉自己背负着"该隐的烙印",认为自己天生邪恶,因此不配得到母亲的爱——"我太糟糕,连我自己的母亲都不爱我!"

This is based on the tight linkage between grief over lack of sufficient love,on the one hand,and guilt over being “"rejected from the human race,"on the other.All of this goes on at the “gut level,”with no real cognitive involvement,due to the earliness of the onset and impact.So the result is that they feel that they are alone on their own --and that that is how it should be.
由于太早期的发生和影响,这种缺乏足够爱的悲伤与被"排斥在人类之外"的罪疚感之间的紧密联系,都是在内心深处发生的,没有太多理性参与。结果就是,他们觉得自己孤独一人,认为这就是应该的情况。

They go into survival psychology,convinced that they've got nothing but themselves to depend on, and their profound feeling is,"One strike and I'm out!"Theirs is a rather pessimistic worldview based on the"delusion of indifference"--the assumption that the world is full of people who back out of driveways without looking --because they don't deserve being looked out for.
他们陷入了濒临生存的心理状态,深信除了自己什么都指望不了,最终的感受就是"一步错,满盘皆输"。他们有一种相当悲观的世界观,认为周围的人都不关心他人,因为他们觉得自己不值得被关注和照顾。

They feel that anything good has to be earned the hard way,and that it has to be continuously protected against loss.“Life sucks!”is their philosophy,and they come to the conclusion,"I will live alone,”and they start the "sealed unit"lifestyle.Their feeling is that no one could or should care,and that therefore they have to do it all by themselves.
他们认为任何好的事物都必须通过艰苦努力来获得,并且需要不断地保护它免受损失。他们认为"生活很糟糕",于是决定"独自生活",过上"封闭生活"的方式。他们认为没有人能或应该关心自己,所以必须独立完成一切。

Basic to the“BOOTSTRAP”personality are three profound emotions --|grief,guilt and fear Starting with the most basic of these,there is an extremely deep "oceanic grief"in reaction to their never being sufficiently loved,and to the experienced lack of the "right to exist"-validating emotional symbiosis.
一个"自我(BOOTSTRAP)"人格的基础特征是存在着三种深刻的情绪 - 悲伤、罪疚和恐惧。首先是一种极深重的"海一样的悲伤",源于从未被充分地爱护,以及缺乏获得"存在确认"的情感共融的经历。

In addition,the "BOOTSTRAP"goes into a desperate fear that to release their profound grief is tantamount to disengaging from themselves as they go into final mourning --in other words,to the process of dying.Their depth of grief is so primal and extreme that it feels like if they "lost it,"they would die or at least go crazy.
此外,「自己」担心一旦充分表达内心的沉重悲伤,就等同于放弃自我,走向最终的哀悼——换言之,就是走向死亡的过程。他们内心的悲伤是如此根深蒂固和极度,以至于感觉一旦失去自控,就会死亡,或至少陷入癫狂。

This unspeakable terror is coupled with the more realistic awareness that no one would in all likelihood be there for them to assist in their getting through the "isolation-mourning"process.As a result, they put an airtight seal over their grief,and they erect a"portable Plexiglas phone booth"composed of “frozen tears”between themselves and other people,even though they need love more than anything else.
这种难以形容的恐惧,与现实感更加强烈地相结合,即没有人会来帮助他们度过这种"孤独悲伤"的过程。因此,他们将悲痛封闭起来,在自己和他人之间筑起了一面由"冻结的泪水"组成的"便携式有机玻璃电话亭",尽管他们比任何时候都更需要爱与关怀。

The feeling is that to let love in is to unleash the oceanic grief"in an unstoppable tidal wave,and it is to invite a death-dealing repetition of the dreaded "deserved”rejection.So they put out the "I don't need anyone --stay out of my space!"stance vigorously.They also continuously fear "running dry,""being lefl empty,""being left,"and "being left behind."
人们感到,一旦敞开心扉去爱,就会引发无法抑制的巨大悲痛,仿佛是有死亡的力量在重复上一次令人恐惧的"应得的"被抛弃。所以他们就拼命地表现出"我不需要任何人,远离我的空间!"的态度。他们也一直担心自己会"耗尽"、"被 emptied"、"被遗弃"和"被抛在后头"。

So they turn to compensatory and totally self-determined self-sustaining resources of all sorts --a set of “substitute strokes.”They use these "keeping those cards and letters coming in"strategies to stay alive,to prevent themselves from emotionally starving to death.They select all kinds of deep muscle feedback- producing activities such as swimming,excitement-pursuing activities such as skiing,and self- entertainment activities such as fantasies.
于是他们转向各种自给自足、完全由自己决定的补偿性资源——"替代性抚慰"。他们使用这些"继续收到来信来函"的策略来维持生存,防止自己在情感上死去。他们选择各种能产生深度肌肉反馈的活动,如游泳,追求刺激的活动,如滑雪,以及自我娱乐的活动,如幻想。

They also invest an enormous amount of energy and vigilant protectiveness into their basic support system equipment and environments,such as the "womb-substitute"(their home "cave")and their means of transportation(their resource-accessing device such as their car,bicycle,motorcycle,etc.).
他们不仅投入大量精力和谨慎保护来维护基本的支持系统设备和环境,比如他们的"子宫代替品"(家庭"洞穴")和交通工具(获取资源的设备,如汽车、自行车、摩托车等),而且对此也极为警惕。

And they tend at a very carly age to turn to the least vulnerability-involving and most controllable component of love --sexuality --as one of their main lifelines.The result is the "fornicating four-year-old" who knows exactly what he or she is doing.They are not doing it to tout up "notches,"to act out,to shock, or to do themselves in.They are doing it to sustain their life,
他们从很小的年龄开始就倾向于依赖性这一最易掌控且涉及最少脆弱性的爱的成分,作为维系生活的主要方式。结果就是这些"四岁的淫乱者"明确知道自己在做什么。他们这样做并非为了炫耀"战绩"、宣泄情绪或者自我毁灭,而纯属为了维持生存。

The second major emotion that "drives"the "BOOTSTRAP"is their profound guilt-for-existing. They feel that they are "no good,"that they are “empty"of redeeming social significance,that they are a “moral cretin”for “deciding”to continue and to thereby take up space,to use up resources,and to impose themselves on the world.
推动"自己努力"(BOOTSTRAP)的第二大驱动力,是他们对自己的深深内疚。他们觉得自己"一无是处"、"空虚无补"、"道德败类",仍执意生存,占用资源,加重世界负担。

As a result,they are hyper-moral in their functioning,or they try to be so at least.They run into trouble on this fairly often,as a result of the environmental impacts of their other two basic emotions (grief and fear),and this only adds to their sense of"evilness."This combines with their survival-concern to produce a rather sarcastic and punitive social style,and to make for a pretty cynical and sardonic worldview.
因此,他们在行为上极为道德规范,至少他们试图如此。但由于其他两种基本情绪(悲伤和恐惧)对环境的影响,他们经常陷入麻烦,这进一步加剧了他们的自我感觉"邪恶"。这种自我意识与他们的生存担忧相结合,产生了一种相当讽刺和惩罚性的社交风格,形成了一种相当冷嘲热讽的世界观。

They also have a severe problem with positive experiences,because such inputs invalidate their worldview and violate their standards regarding the role of reinforcements in their life,on the basis of their presumed non-deservingness of such experiences.
他们也很难接受积极的体验,因为这种输入会颠覆他们的世界观,违背他们对强化在生活中作用的标准,这是基于他们被认为不配拥有这些体验。

They therefore tend strongly to go into “yum-out”reactions to such experiences,and they are apt to punish themselves,to undo the positive resources or events,or to invalidate or ignore such inputs.They are intensely success-avoidant,and they believe that they deserve nothing but the very worst.
因此,他们往往会对这种经历产生强烈的逃避反应,并且可能会惩罚自己,抵消积极的资源或事件,或者忽视和否认这些正面输入。他们对成功有强烈的恐惧,认为自己只配得到最糟糕的结果。

But perhaps the most outstanding characteristic that results from their“guilt-for-existing”is their intense blame-avoidance.For to have created even more evil in the world than that involved in their very existence is to impel them to instant suicide in order to "balance the moral budget."
但是他们最突出的特点是极力避免责备。因为他们认为,自己的存在已经带来了邪恶,如果再增加更多的邪恶,为了"平衡道德账本",他们就会立即自杀。

Their feeling is,"Sticks and stones can break my bones,but words can kill me!"Consequently,they are hyper-vigilant for any form of implied accusation,and they are explosively aggressive in reaction to it.
他们觉得,"木柴和石头虽然能伤害身体,但语言更是致命。"因此对任何看似指责的话语都异常谨慎,并会做出激烈的反应。

They often even take the tack that if they accuse first,it will keep the others off balance and free them of moral karma.In effect,their experience is that you are trying to kill them by blaming them.They go to almost any extreme to “hot potato"the blame anywhere but on them.It's a life-and-death matter to them.
他们常常会先指责别人,以试图维持自己的平衡和摆脱道德负担。实际上,他们担心别人会通过指责他们来对他们不利,因此会采取各种极端手段来逃避责任。这对他们来说是一个非常重要的问题。

The third primary emotion of the "BOOTSTRAP,"survival-anxiety,is in effect a fundamental vulnerability-anxiety arising from their existential position that they are all alone in the world.They therefore feel that they have nothing but their own resources to draw upon with which to survive.
"BOOTSTRAP"的第三种基本情绪就是生存焦虑,这反映了他们内心的一种根本性脆弱感。他们感到自己孤立无援,只能依靠自己微薄的资源来维系生存。

This results in two major characteristics of the “BOOTSTRAP.”One of these is their phenomenal competence and creativity.They are cultural outsiders,and they don't feel that they can rely on being taught by others or upon others’ ways of doing things.This arises both out of their success-avoidance and out of their astute perception of the costs to a person's capabilities of conformity.
这种"BOOTSTRAP"现象有两个主要特点:一是他们的出色能力和创造力。他们是文化外来者,感觉不能依赖别人的教导或别人的方式做事。这既源于他们回避成功,也源于他们洞察到因循守旧对个人能力的代价。

Since they are totally self-reliant,they are also highly creative and out-of-the-box original in their approach,taking a"whatever it takes to get me through the night"philosophy of problem solving.
由于他们完全自力更生,他们的做事方式也很有创意和独特,采取"不管用什么方法都能解决问题"的问题解决态度。

They take on a lot of the characteristics of a"mountaineer"who feels that they can conquer nature at her most formidable.They become prodigiously competent from a very early age on,and they tend to maintain the feeling of infantile omnipotence as a result.
他们具备了登山者的诸多特征,认为自己可以征服自然界中最强大的力量。从很小的时候开始,他们就变得异常出色,并且往往保持着儿童时期的全能感。

The end product is the"forty-year-old four-year-old."They learn from experience,and direct knowing is their specialty.Their thinking is in the form of "concrete abstractions"--experiential images which analogously capture the essence of things.They have a hard time with verbal-conceptual thinking, and with the mainstream“action abstractions”(recipes and strategies)used by other people.
最终产品就好比"四十岁的四岁孩子"。他们擅长从经验中学习,偏重于直接领悟。他们的思维方式是借助具象的映像来捕捉事物本质,这种"具体抽象"思维形式令他们难以适应语言概念性思维以及其他人常用的"行动抽象"(食谱和策略等)。

Their feeling is,"They've got a secret for success that I'll never be privy to,"and their seeming “concrete-mindedness”tends to elicit reactions from others that validate this impression.
他们好像掌握了一个我永远也无法知晓的成功秘诀,这种"思维僵化"的表象也常常引发他人的反应,证实了这种印象。

The fact of the matter is,though,that frequently it is the "BOOTSTRAP"who has the secret, because they vigilantly analyze every situation to see what is called for,and they frequently come up with a fully conscious awareness of what's involved which can't be matched by other people.
事实上,尽管如此,通常情况下,是"引导者"掌握着秘密,因为他们会谨慎地分析每一种情况,看看需要什么,他们通常会意识到涉及的全部情况,这是其他人无法匹敌的。

They tend to have a strongly photographic and phonographic recall,but their primary mode of experience is feelings and proprioceptive processes (touch,muscle feedback,haptic(stroking)sensations,kinesthetic,etc.
他们通常拥有非常强大的视觉和听觉记忆能力,但他们的主要体验方式是通过感受和身体内部的各种反馈,包括触觉、肌肉反馈、触觉(抚摸)感受、运动感觉等。

ndeed,they are super-resonant to other people's experiences and pain via their highly developed proprioceptive sensitivities.As a result,they are remarkable in their ability to reproduce experiences,and to communicate them to others in depth and detail.
他们对他人的经历和痛苦非常有共鸣,这归因于他们高度发达的本体感知能力。因此,他们擅长重现经历并以深入细致的方式向他人传达。

On the other hand,they tend to be over-ridingly egocentric out of their survival psychology,and they are prone to trust only their experience of things.It has been their experience that they have never had trustable input from others.They are rather emotionally myopic,and if they haven't directly experienced something,they take a highly skeptical attitude to any input about it.
他们通常过于自我中心,这源于他们的生存心理。他们只相信自己的经验,很难相信他人的观点。他们在情感上非常狭隘,如果没有亲身经历过某事,他们往往会对任何相关信息持高度怀疑态度。

Another source of their input-deflection is their avoidance of emotional overload,and their feeling is,"Don't lay that whole new thing on me to contend with!"If it doesn't pertain to survival,they don't want to be bothered with it.This strongly reinforces their sense of being somehow"unfit for human consumption”on the one hand,and of being surrounded by irrelevance on the other.
他们试图避免情感过载,内心有种"不要把全新的事物扔给我去应付"的感受。若无关生存,他们不愿被打扰。这加强了他们既觉得"不够格"又感到周围事物不相关的感受。

Unfortunately,all of this has a way of setting them aside from others,and the "stranger in a strange land”feeling is very strong with them.They don't learn how to play with peers as "one of the gang,"to enter the group dynamics of adolescent cliques,to find and successfully relate with an intimate,and to find and work with a mentor in young adulthood.
这些差异让他们与他人有所区别,产生了"陌生人身在异乡"的感觉。他们没有学会如何像"群体中的一员"般与同伴玩耍,如何融入青少年小圈子的动态,如何找到并与心仪对象建立亲密关系,以及如何在年轻成年时期找到并与导师合作。

The other major outcome of the "BOOTSTRAP'S"survival-anxiety is a bending-over-backwards “bluster-bluff'and"strut-and-stride shine on."They figure that they are in an unequal battle for survival in which everyone else has a secret,that the "BOOTSTRAP"has no right to be engaged in it in the first place, and that the best defense is an offense.They act powerful,angry,hard-nosed,cold,compulsively independent,and universally confident.
"自助个"的生存焦虑的另一个主要结果是表现出一种过度的"夸张"和"自负"的态度。他们认为自己处于一场不对等的生存之战,其他人都有一个秘密,而"自助个"本来就无资格参与其中,因此最好的应对方式就是主动进攻。他们表现得非常强势、愤怒、强硬、冷漠、强迫性独立和处处自信。

They take a hypercritical,blaming and double-binding approach to social interface,where no matter what you do,you're wrong and they're right and morally pure.They take an emotionally insulated stance towards other people,so as to avoid being hurt.They also do a lot of "paranoid puff-up"behaviors to even up what they fear will be overwhelming odds by scaring people off.
他们采取极度苛刻、指责和双重标准的方式对待社交互动,无论你做什么他们都认为你是错的,而自己是正确和道德高尚的。他们情感上与他人保持距离,以免受到伤害。他们还会表现出一些"自我膨胀"的行为,试图让自己显得强大,以此敬退他人。

All in all,this sort of thing has the effect of keeping people at a distance, which makes the “BOOTSTRAP”feel safer but very much alone.The unhappy fact is that the bottom line for the “BOOTSTRAP”is that they are starved for love,and they are desperate to get it,but they rarely do because of their lifestyle and approach.
总的来说,这种情况会让人与人之间保持距离,这让"BOOTSTRAP"感到更安全,但也更加孤独。事实上,最根本的问题是"BOOTSTRAP"渴望得到爱,但由于他们的生活方式和方式,很难得到满足。

The “BOOTSTRAP”hides their oceanic grief behind nickel-plated back muscles,which form a covering of chronic and generalized tension.This has its roots in their great grief-based guilt,fear,anger and frustration.
「引导者」在镀镍的背部肌肉下掩藏着海洋般的悲伤,这形成了一种持续且广泛的紧张状态。这源自他们巨大的悲伤导致的罪疚、恐惧、愤怒和沮丧。

Rods of reinforced concrete run up parallel to the spine to help maintain their "upright"stance in the face of no external support.They simply demand a great deal of continuous support from their own muscles.
钢筋混凝土柱平行于脊椎立起,即使没有外部支撑,也能维持其直立姿态。它们完全依靠自身肌肉的持续支撑。

The shoulder blades are pulled towards the spine also --protecting,concealing and confining the heart and the lungs.This in effect puts an armor plate over the vital areas where someone might "stab them in the back.”
肩胛骨被拉向脊柱,保护、隐藏并限制心脏和肺部。这就像在关键部位涂上了一层护甲,防止背后被刺。

This bony plate sets up the physical expression of the "Plexiglas phone booth."It also limits their breathing capacity,and their breathing becomes shallow and quite rapid.Their breath is also caught and held a great deal of the time.These muscle tension and breathing patterns work together to accentuate a tight neck posture.
这块骨质板决定了"有机玻璃电话亭"的外观表现。它限制了他们的呼吸能力,使他们的呼吸变得浅而急促。他们的呼吸也会频繁地停顿。这些肌肉紧绷和呼吸模式共同造成了紧绷的颈部姿势。

“I don't know”is a phrase they avoid like the plague,from the fear of the "one strike"that will ”put them out.”"I don't know”can be translated into “I don't no,"for with such a tight neck,the shaking of the head to indicate “no”is a difficult action.As the shoulder blades maintain their up and inward position and the neck is held tightly,"up tight"describes the physical position of their upper musculature rather well.
"我不知道"是一个他们十分避讳的短语,因为他们害怕这样的回答会"让他们一败涂地"。"我不知道"可以直译成"我不晓得",因为他们的脖子如此紧绷,很难摇头表示"不"。当他们的肩胛骨保持上抬和内收的姿态,同时颈部也非常紧绷时,"紧张"一词很好地描述了他们上身肌肉的状态。

The "BOOTSTRAP"stance is one of being grounded --very grounded.Unfortunately,in their “nailed to the ground”position,they seldom are truly receivers of the Earth's energy,for their tight leg muscles prevent the free flow of energy.
"BOOTSTRAP"的立场是非常朴实稳重的。不过,由于腿部肌肉过于紧绷,他们很难完全感受到大地的能量。

Fight or freeze --not flight --is their mode.Often it is difficult to sort out if their stance is a “holding on to my turf”fight response or an immobilized"freeze-out"pose,in a bluster-bluff hope of looking tough.
他们的反应模式通常是战斗或冻结,而不是逃避。很难判断他们是在坚持自己的立场还是出于无助而采取冻结的姿态,试图装出强硬的样子。

At any rate,their tight knees,locked hips and pelvis,and the corresponding tension in all the support muscles for maintaining these defensive positions typify the "BOOTSTRAP."At the same time,they move through life rapidly,partially because it's safer to be a“streak”--a"moving target,”so to speak.
不论如何,他们呈现出紧握的膝盖、锁住的髋部和骨盆,以及维持这些防御姿势所需的所有支持肌肉的张力,这就是所谓的"自引靴索"。与此同时,他们也相对快速地度过人生,部分原因是因为成为一个"流星"——也就是"活动目标"会更加安全。

Their muscle armor is usually so complete that if they stay in one place too long,the whole "tin man rust-up"routine occurs,and stiffness and pain become very real results.Moving all the time therefore also keeps them "lubricated"and supple.Unfortunately,it also gains them the label "hyperactive"as kids and “restless”as adults.
他们的肌肉装甲通常很完整,如果长时间待在同一个地方,就会出现"铁人生锈"的现象,导致僵硬和疼痛。因此,不停地移动也让他们保持柔软和灵活。但不幸的是,这也让他们在孩子时被贴上"过于活跃"的标签,在成年时被贴上"焦虁不安"的标签。

What they need to break out of all this is the chance to be parented relevantly in a therapeutically corrective experience program.They need to experience unconditional positive acceptance,nurturance,and support.
他们需要一个能给予真挚关怀和支持的治疗性体验项目,让他们感受到无条件的接纳、关爱和支持。

They also need a lot of relevantly and respectfully applied protection and caring confrontation on their self-defeating behaviors.They need to experience being totally taken care of by at least one deeply committed relationship figure,so that they can come out feeling glad to be alive,and that they have the right to be here.
他们也需要大量相关和尊重的保护,以及对自我毁灭行为的关怀干预。他们需要体验被至少一个深度投入的人完全照顾,这样他们就能感到很高兴仍然活着,并且他们有权存在于此。

A crucial component of this healing process is grief-relief --"breaking the wall of tears."This requires systematic mourning-induction in the context of the therapeutic relationship,often by verbal stimulation of their sense of aloneness and loss,and by encouragement to let it all out,in the context of insights generated by making them aware of their entire situation.
这个愈合过程的关键在于释放悲伤--"打破哭泣的屏障"。这需要在治疗关系的背景下有系统地诱导哀悼,通常通过言语刺激他们的孤独和丧失感,并鼓励他们尽情发泄,同时增强他们对整体情况的认知。

This will ofien result in a "bottom out"--a rather dramatic sudden depression spiral ending in a “trough”lasting several hours,while they confront the issue of whether to suicide or to break out of their guilt-enslavement.This allows them to let go of their existential guilt,to self-commit,to drain the oceanic grief,to come down off the survival-anxiety,and to let love in.
这种情况常会导致一种相当戏剧性的突然沮丧,持续数小时,他们需要面对是要自杀还是要摆脱内疚的困扰。这可以让他们放下存在性的内疚,自我提醒,排解内心的悲伤,缓解生存焦虑,并接纳爱的力量。

Once they have experienced this,they can enter intimacy and learn the competences necessary to join the cultural mainstream while they keep their innovative original capabilities,leaving behind forever the“stranger in a strange land”feeling.At the same time,they will be able to apply the unique characteristics and resources that got them through so many long,lonely nights.
体验过这个之后,他们就可以建立亲密关系,学习融入主流文化所需的能力,同时保留自己独特的创新特质,摆脱"陌生人在陌生地"的感觉。同时,他们也能运用那些帮助他们度过漫漫长夜的独特特性和资源。