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Scratch 'N

Mr Stink stank. He also stunk. And if it is correct English to say he stinked, then he stinked as well. He was the stinkiest stinky stinker who ever lived.
A stink is the worst type of smell. A stink is worse than a stench. And a stench is worse than a pong. And a pong is worse than a whiff. And a whiff can be enough to make your nose wrinkle.
It wasn't Mr Stink's fault that he stank. He was a tramp, after all. He didn't have a home and so he never had the opportunity to have a proper wash like you and me. After a while the smell

Mr Stink 臭先生

just got worse and worse. Here is a picture of Mr Stink.
He is quite a snappy dresser in his bow-tie and tweed jacket, isn't he? But don't be fooled. The illustration doesn't do justice to the smell. This could be a scratch ' ' sniff book, but the smell
他穿着领结和粗花呢夹克,打扮得很时髦,不是吗?但不要被愚弄。插图与气味不符。这可能是一本划痕的 嗅觉书,但气味

would be so bad you would have to put it in the bin. And then bury the bin. Very deep underground.
That's his little black dog with him, the Duchess. The Duchess wasn't any particular breed of dog, she was just a dog. She smelt too, but not as bad as Mr Stink. Nothing in the world really smelt as bad as him. Except his beard. His beard was full of old bits of egg and sausage and cheese that had fallen out of his mouth years before. It had never, ever been shampooed so it had its own special stink, even worse than his main one.
One morning, Mr Stink simply appeared in the town and took up residence on an old wooden bench. No one knew where he had come from, or where he might be going. The town folk were mostly nice to him. They sometimes dropped a few coins at his feet, before rushing off with their eyes watering. But no one was really friendly

towards him. No one stopped for a chat.
At least, not till the day that a little girl finally plucked up the courage to speak to him - and that's where our story begins.
"Hello," said the girl, her voice trembling a little with nerves. The girl was called Chloe. She was only twelve and she had never spoken to a tramp before. Her mother had forbidden her to speak to 'such creatures'. Mother even disapproved of her daughter talking to kids from the local council estate. But Chloe didn't think Mr Stink was a creature. She thought he was a man who looked like he had a very interesting story to tell - and if there was one thing Chloe loved, it was stories.
Every day she would pass him and his dog in her parents' car on the way to her posh private school. Whether in sunshine or snow, he was always sitting on the same bench with his dog by

Scratch ' ' Sniff
刮擦 ' ' 嗅

his feet. As she luxuriated on the leather of the back seat with her poisonous little sister Annabelle, Chloe would look out of the window at him and wonder.
Millions of thoughts and questions would swim through her head. Who was he? Why did he live on the streets? Had he ever had a home? What did his dog eat? Did he have any friends or family? If so, did they know he was homeless?
Where did he go at Christmas? If you wanted to write him a letter, what address would you put on the envelope? 'The bench, you know the one - round the corner from the bus stop'? When was the last time he'd had a bath? And could his name really be Mr Stink?
Chloe was the kind of girl who loved being alone with her thoughts. Often she would sit on her bed and make up stories about Mr Stink. Sitting on her own in her room, she would come

up with all kinds of fantastical tales. Maybe Mr Stink was a heroic old sailor who had won dozens of medals for bravery, but had found it impossible to adapt to life on dry land? Or perhaps he was a world-famous opera singer who one night, upon hitting the top note in an aria at the Royal Opera House in London, lost his voice and could never sing again? Or maybe he was really a Russian secret agent who had put on an elaborate tramp disguise to spy on the people of the town?
Chloe didn't know anything about Mr Stink. But what she did know, on that day when she stopped to talk to him for the first time, was that he looked like he needed the five-pound note she was holding much more than she did.
He seemed lonely too, not just alone, but lonely in his soul. That made Chloe sad. She knew full well what it was like to feel lonely.
Chloe didn't like school very much. Mother had insisted on sending her to a posh all-girls secondary school, and she hadn't made any friends there. Chloe didn't like being at home much either. Wherever she was she had the feeling that she didn't quite fit in.
What's more, it was Chloe's least favourite time of year. Christmas. Everyone is supposed to love Christmas, especially children. But Chloe hated it. She hated the tinsel, she hated the crackers, she hated the carols, she hated having to watch the Queen's speech, she hated the mince pies, she hated that it never really snowed like it's supposed to, she hated sitting down with her family to a long, long dinner, and most of all, she hated how she had to pretend to be happy just because it was December .
"What can I do for you, young lady?" said Mr Stink. His voice was unexpectedly posh. As

no one had ever stopped to talk to him before, he stared slightly suspiciously at this plump little girl. Chloe was suddenly a bit frightened. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to talk to the old tramp after all. She had been working up to this moment for weeks, months even. This wasn't how it had all played out in her head.
To make matters worse, Chloe had to stop breathing through her nose. The smell was starting to get to her. It was like a living thing, creeping its way up her nostrils and burning the back of her throat.
"Erm, well, sorry to bother you..."
"Yes?" said Mr Stink, a little impatiently. Chloe was taken aback. Why was he in such a hurry? He always sat on his bench. It wasn't like he suddenly needed to go somewhere else.
At that moment the Duchess started barking at her. Chloe felt even more scared. Sensing

this, Mr Stink pulled the Duchess's lead, which was really just a bit of old rope, to encourage her to be quiet.
"Well," Chloe went on nervously, "my auntie sent me five pounds to buy myself a Christmas present. But I don't really need anything so I thought I would give it to you."
Mr Stink smiled. Chloe smiled too. For a moment it looked as if he was going to accept Chloe's offer, then he looked down at the pavement.

Mr Stink 臭先生

"Thank you," he said. "Unimaginable kindness, but I can't take it, sorry."
Chloe was confused. "Why ever not?" she asked.
"You are but a child. Five pounds? It's too, too generous."
"I just thought-" “我只是想——”
"It's really kind of you, but I'm afraid I can't accept. Tell me, how old are you, young lady? Ten?"
"TWELVE!" said Chloe loudly. She was a little short for her age, but liked to think she was grown-up in lots of other ways. "I'm twelve. Thirteen on January the ninth!"
"Sorry, you're twelve. Nearly thirteen. Go and buy yourself one of those new musical stereo discs. Don't you worry about an old vagabond like me." He smiled. There was a real twinkle in his eye when he smiled.

Scratch ' 'Sniff
刮擦 ' '嗅

"If it's not too rude," said Chloe, "can I ask you a question
"Yes, of course you can."
"Well, I would love to know: why do you live on a bench and not in a house like me?"
Mr Stink shuffled slightly and looked anxious. "It's a long story, my dear," he said. "Maybe I will tell you another day."
Chloe was disappointed. She wasn't sure there would be another day. If her mother found out that she was even talking to this man, let alone offering him money, she would do her nut.
"Well, sorry for bothering you," said Chloe. "Have a lovely day." As the words came out she cringed. What a stupid thing to say! How could he possibly have a lovely day? He was a smelly old tramp, and the sky was growing gloomy with black clouds. She took a few paces up the street, feeling embarrassed.
"What's that on your back, child?" called out Mr Stink.
"What's what on my back?" asked Chloe, trying to look over her shoulder. She reached round and tore a piece of paper from her blazer. She peered at it.
Written on the piece of paper, in thick black letters, was a single word.

LOSER! 失败者!

Chloe felt her stomach twist with humiliation. Rosamund must have sellotaped it to her when she left school. Rosamund was the head girl of the cool gang. She was always bullying Chloe, picking on her for eating too many sweets, or for being poorer than the other girls at school, or for being the girl neither team ever wanted on their side in hockey matches. As Chloe had left school

today Rosamund patted her on the back several times, saying "Merry Christmas", while all the other girls laughed. Now Chloe knew why. Mr Stink rose creakily from his bench and took the paper from Chloe's hands.
"I can't believe I've been going round with that on my back all afternoon," said Chloe. Embarrassed to feel tears welling up, she looked away, blinking into the sunlight.
"What is it, child?" asked Mr Stink, kindly.
Chloe sniffed. "Well," she said, "it's true, isn't it? I really am a loser."
Mr Stink bent down to look at her. "No," he said, authoritatively. "You're not a loser. The real loser is the person who stuck it to you in the first place."
Chloe tried to believe him, but couldn't quite.
For as long as she could remember she had felt like a loser. Maybe Rosamund and all those other girls in her gang were right.
"There's only one place for this," said Mr Stink. He screwed up the piece of paper and, like a professional cricketer, expertly bowled it into

the bin. Chloe clocked this and her imagination instantly started whirring; had he once been captain of the England cricket team?
Mr Stink brushed his hands together. "Good riddance to bad rubbish," he said.
"Thanks," murmured Chloe.
"Not at all," said Mr Stink. "You mustn't let bullies get you down."
"I'll try," said Chloe. "Nice to meet you Mr... um..." she began. Everyone called him Mr Stink, but she didn't know if he knew that. It felt rude to say it to his face.
"Stink," he said. "They call me Mr Stink."
"Oh. Nice to meet you, Mr Stink. I'm Chloe." "Hello, Chloe," said Mr Stink.
"You know, Mr Stink," said Chloe, "I still might go the shops. Do you need anything? Like a bar of soap or something?"
"Thank you, my dear," he replied. "But I have

Chapter One 第一章

no use for soap. You see, I had a bath only last year. But I would love some sausages. I do adore a nice meaty sausage..."


Icy Silence 冰冷的寂静

"Mother?" said Annabelle.
Mother finished chewing her food completely, then swallowed it, before finally replying.
"Yes, my darling child?"
"Chloe just took one of her sausages off her plate and hid it in her napkin."
It was Saturday evening, and the Crumb family sat at the dining room table, missing Strictly Come Dancing and The X-Factor as they ate their dinner. Mother had banned watching television and eating at the same time. She had decided that it was 'awfully common'. Instead
那是星期六晚上,Crumb 一家坐在餐桌旁,在吃晚饭时想念 Strictly Come Dancing 和 The X-Factor。母亲禁止一边看电视一边吃饭。她认为这是“非常普遍的”。相反

Icy Silence 冰冷的寂静

the family had to sit in icy silence and eat their dinner staring at the walls. Or sometimes Mother would choose a subject for discussion, normally what she would do if she ran the country. That was her absolute favourite. Mother had given up running a beauty salon to stand for Parliament, and had no doubt in her mind that one day she would be Prime Minister.
Mother had named the white Persian family cat Elizabeth, after the Queen. She was obsessed with Being Posh. There was a downstairs loo that was kept locked for 'very important guests', as if a member of the royal family was going to swing by for a waz. There was a china tea set in the cupboard that was 'for best', and had never once been used. Mother even sprayed air freshener in the garden. Mother would never go out, and not even answer the door, unless immaculately groomed, with her beloved pearls

around her neck and her hair made stiff with enough hairspray to create its own hole in the ozone layer. She was so used to turning up her nose at everybody and everything, it was in danger of staying that way. Here's a picture of her.
My word, she looks posh, doesn't she?
Unsurprisingly Father, or Dad as he preferred to be called when Mother wasn't around, opted

Icy Silence 冰冷的寂静

for a quiet life and usually didn't speak unless spoken to. He was a big powerful man, but his wife made him feel small inside. Dad was only forty, but he was already going bald and starting to stoop. He worked long hours at a car factory on the edge of the town.
"Did you hide a sausage in your napkin, Chloe?" demanded Mother.
"You are always trying to get me into trouble!" snapped Chloe.
This was true. Annabelle was two years younger than Chloe, and one of those children adults think are perfect, but other children don't like because they are snotty little goody-goodies. Annabelle loved getting Chloe into trouble. She would lie on her bed in her bright pink room upstairs and roll around crying, shouting “CHLOE, GET OFF ME! YOU ARE HURTING ME!” even though Chloe was

quietly writing away in her room next door. You could say that Annabelle was evil. She was certainly evil to her older sister.
"Oh, sorry Mother, it just slipped into my lap," said Chloe guiltily. Her plan had been to smuggle the sausage out for Mr Stink. She had been thinking about him all evening, imagining him shivering out there in the cold dark December night as they sat in the warm, eating away.
"Well then Chloe, unroll it from your napkin and put it back on your plate," ordered Mother. "I am so ashamed that we are even eating sausages for dinner. I gave your father strict instructions to dispatch himself to the supermarket and purchase four wild sea-bass fillets. And he comes home with a packet of sausages. If anyone called around and saw us eating food like this it would be hideously embarrassing. They'd think we were savages!"

Icy Silence 冰冷的寂静

"I am sorry, my darling wife," protested Dad. "They were all out of wild sea-bass fillets." He gave Chloe the tiniest wink as he said this, confirming her suspicion that he had deliberately disobeyed Mother's orders. Chloe smiled at him discreetly. She and her dad both loved sausages and lots of other food that Mother didn't approve of, like burgers, fish-fingers, fizzy drinks, and especially Whippy ice-cream ('the devil's spume', Mother called it). "I have never eaten anything from a van," she would say. "I'd rather die."
“对不起,我亲爱的妻子,”爸爸抗议道。“它们都是野生鲈鱼片。”说这话的时候,他向克洛伊眨了眨眼,证实了她对他故意违抗母亲命令的怀疑。克洛伊小心翼翼地对他笑了笑。她和爸爸都喜欢香肠和许多其他妈妈不赞成的食物,比如汉堡、鱼条、碳酸饮料,尤其是 鞭打冰淇淋(妈妈称之为“魔鬼的泡沫”)。“我从来没有吃过面包车上的任何东西,”她会说。“我宁愿死。”
"Right now, all hands on deck as we clear up," said Mother when they had finished eating. "Annabelle, my precious angel, you clear the table, Chloe, you can wash up and Husband, you can dry." When she said "all hands on deck", what she really meant was everybody's hands except hers. As the rest of the family all went

about their duties Mother reclined on the sofa and started unwrapping a wafer-thin chocolate mint. She allowed herself one chocolate mint a day. She nibbled so infuriatingly slowly she made each one last an hour.
关于他们的职责 母亲斜靠在沙发上,开始打开薄薄的巧克力薄荷。她允许自己每天吃一个巧克力薄荷。她啃得如此令人生气的缓慢,以至于每一次都持续了一个小时。
"One of my Bendicks luxury chocolate mints has gone walkies again!" she called out.
Annabelle shot Chloe an accusing look before returning to the dining room to collect some more plates. "I bet it was you, fatty!" she hissed.
"Be nice, Annabelle," chided Dad.
Chloe felt guilty, even though it wasn't her who had been scoffing her mother's chocolates. She and Dad assumed their familiar positions at the sink.
"Chloe, why were you trying to hide one of your sausages?" he asked. "If you didn't like it, you could have just said."

Icy Silence 冰冷的寂静

"I wasn't trying to hide it, Dad."
"Then what were you doing with it?"
Suddenly Annabelle appeared with another stack of dirty plates and the pair fell silent. They waited a moment until she had gone.
"Well, Dad, you know that tramp who always sits on the same bench every - "
“Mr Stink “臭先生
"Yes. Well, I thought his dog looked hungry and I wanted to bring her a sausage or two."
It was a lie, but not a big one.
"Well, I suppose there isn't any harm in giving his poor dog a bit of food," said Dad. "Just this once though, you understand?"
“But-" “可是——”
"Just this once, Chloe. Or Mr Stink will expect you to feed his dog every day. Now, I hid another packet of sausages behind the crème fraîche, whatever that is. I'll cook them up for

you before your mother gets up tomorrow morning and you can give them-"
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO CONSPIRING ABOUT?" demanded Mother from the sitting room.
"Oh, erm, we were just debating which of the Queen's four children we most admire," said Dad. "I am putting forward Anne for her equestrian skills, though Chloe is making a strong case for Prince Charles and his unrivalled range of organic biscuits."
"Very good. Carry on!" boomed the voice from next door.
Dad smiled at Chloe cheekily.


The Wanderer 流浪者

Stink ate the sausages in an unexpectedly elegant manner. First he took out a little linen napkin and tucked it under his chin. Next he took an antique silver knife and fork out of his breast pocket. Finally he produced a dirty gold-rimmed china plate, which he gave to the Duchess to lick clean before he set down the sausages neatly upon it.
Chloe stared at his cutlery and plate. This seemed like another clue to his past. Had he perhaps been a gentleman thief who crept into country houses at midnight and

made off with the family silver?
"Do you have any more sausages?" asked Mr Stink, his mouth still full of sausage.
"No, just those eight I'm afraid," replied Chloe.
She stood at a safe distance from the tramp, so that her eyes wouldn't start weeping at the smell. The Duchess looked up at Mr Stink as he ate the sausages, with a heartbreaking longing that suggested that all love and all beauty was contained in those tubes of meat.
"There you go, Duchess," said Mr Stink, slowly lowering half a sausage into his dog's mouth. The Duchess was so hungry she didn't even chew; instead she swallowed it in half a millisecond before returning to her expression of sausage-longing. Had any man or beast ever eaten a sausage so quickly? Chloe was half-expecting a gentleman in a blazer

The Wanderer 流浪者

and slacks with a clipboard and stopwatch to appear and declare that the little black dog had set a new sausage-eating international world record!
"So, young Chloe, is everything fine at home?" asked Mr Stink, as he let the Duchess lick his fingers clean of any remnants of sausage juice.
"I'm sorry?" replied a befuddled Chloe.
"I asked if everything was fine at home. If things were tickety-boo I am not sure you would be spending your Sunday talking to an old vagabond like me."
"Vagabond?" “流浪汉?”
"I don't like the word 'tramp'. It makes you think of someone who smells."
Chloe tried to conceal her surprise. Even the Duchess looked puzzled and she didn't speak English, only Dog.
"I prefer vagabond, or wanderer," continued Mr Stink.
The way he put it, thought Chloe, it sounded almost poetic. Especially 'wanderer'. She would love to be a wanderer. She would wander all around the world if she could. Not stay in this boring little town where nothing happened that hadn't happened the day before.
"There's nothing wrong at home. Everything is fine," said Chloe adamantly.
"Are you sure?" enquired Mr Stink, with the wisdom some people have that cuts right through you like a knife through butter.
Things were, in fact, not at all fine at home for Chloe. She was often ignored. Her mother doted on Annabelle - probably because her youngest daughter was like a miniature version of her. Every inch of every wall in the house was covered with celebrations of Annabelle's infinite achievements.
Photographs of her standing smugly on winner's podiums, certificates bearing her name emblazoned in italic gold, trophies and statuettes and medals engraved with 'winner', 'first place' or 'little creep'. (I made up that last one.)
Mr Stink 臭先生
The more Annabelle achieved, the more Chloe felt like a failure. Her parents spent most of their lives providing a chauffeur service for Annabelle's out of school activities. Her schedule was exhausting even to look at.

The Wanderer 流浪者

Tuesday 星期二
4am Violin lesson 凌晨4点小提琴课
5am Stilt-walking practice
早上 5 点踩高跷练习

6am Chess Society 早上 6 点 国际象棋协会
7am Learning Japanese 早上 7 点学习日语
8am Flower-arranging class
上午8点 插花课

9 am to School
上午9点到 学校

Creative writing workshop

Porcelain frog painting class

Harp practice  竖琴练习
Watercolour painting class

8pm Dance class, ballroom
晚上 8 点 舞蹈课,交际舞厅

Wednesday 星期三
3am Choir practice 凌晨 3 点合唱团练习
4am Long-jump training 凌晨 4 点跳远训练
5am High-jump training 凌晨 5 点跳高训练
6am Long-jump training again
早上6点 再次进行跳远训练

7am Trombone lesson 早上 7 点长号课
8am Scuba-diving 早上 8 点水肺潜水
9am to 4 pm School
上午 9 点至下午 4 点学校

Chef training  厨师培训
Mountain climbing

Tennis  网球
7pm Drama workshop, Shakespeare and his
晚上 7 点戏剧工作坊,莎士比亚和他的

contemporaries 同龄人
8 pm Show jumping
晚上 8 点 场地障碍赛

Thursday 星期四
2am Learning Arabic 凌晨 2 点学习阿拉伯语
3am Dance lesson, break-dance, hip-hop,
凌晨 3 点舞蹈课、霹雳舞、嘻哈、

krumping 克鲁平
4 am Oboe lesson
凌晨 4 点双簧管课

5am Tour de France cycle training
凌晨 5 点环法自行车训练

6am Bible studies 早上6点查经
7am Gymnastics training 早上7点 体操训练
8am Calligraphy class 早上8点书法课
9am to School
上午9点到 学校

4pm Work experience shadowing a brain surgeon
下午 4 点 跟随脑外科医生的工作经验
Opera singing lesson
6pm NASA space exploration workshop
7 pm Cake baking class, level 5
晚上 7 点 蛋糕烘焙课,5 楼
Attend lecture on 'A History of Victorian Moustaches

Friday 星期五

1am Triangle lesson, grade 5
凌晨 1 点三角课,五年级
2am Badminton 凌晨 2 点 羽毛球
3am Archery 凌晨 3 点射箭
4am Fly to Switzerland for ski-jump practice.
凌晨 4 点飞往瑞士进行跳台滑雪练习。
Learn about eggs from an expert on eggs (TBC) on outbound flight.
6am Do quick ski-jump, and then board inbound flight. Take pottery class on flight.
早上 6 点做快速跳台滑雪,然后登上入境航班。在飞机上上陶艺课。
8am Thai kick-boxing (remember to take skis off before class).

9am to 4 pm School
上午 9 点至下午 4 点学校

Channel swimming training
Motorbike maintenance workshop
6pm Candle making 下午 6 点 蜡烛制作
Otter rearing class
Television viewing. A choice between either a documentary about carpet manufacturing in Belgium, or a Polish cartoon from the 1920s about a depressed owl.
看电视。可以选择一部关于比利时地毯制造的纪录片,或者一部 1920 年代关于一只沮丧的猫头鹰的波兰卡通片。
And that was just the weekdays. The weekends were when things really got busy for Annabelle. No wonder Chloe felt ignored.
"Well, I suppose things at home are... are..." stammered Chloe. She wanted to talk to him about it all, but she wasn't sure how.
Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong!
No, I haven't lost my mind, readers. That was meant to be the church clock striking four.

The Wanderer 流浪者

Chloe gasped and looked at her watch. Four o'clock! Mother made her do her homework from four until six every day, even in the school holidays when she didn't have any to do.
"Sorry Mr Stink, I have to go," she said. Secretly
Chloe was relieved. No one had ever asked her how she felt before, and she was beginning to panic...
"Really, child?" said the old man, looking disappointed.
"Yes, yes, I need to get home. Mother will be furious if I don't get at least a in Maths next term. She sets me extra tests during the holidays."
“是的,是的,我需要回家。如果我下学期数学成绩不及 ,妈妈会很生气的。她在假期里给我安排了额外的测试。
"That doesn't sound much like a holiday to me," said Mr Stink.
Chloe shrugged. "Mother doesn't believe in holidays." She stood up. "I hope you liked the sausages," she said.
"They were scrumptious," said Mr Stink. "Thank you. Unimaginable kindness."
Chloe nodded and turned to run off towards home. If she took a short-cut she'd be back before Mother.
“Farewell!" Mr Stink called after her softly.

Drivel 傻话

Terrified of being late for homework hour, Chloe began to quicken her pace. She didn't want her mother to ask questions about where she'd been or who she'd been talking to. Mrs Crumb would be horrified to find out her daughter had been sitting on a bench with someone she would describe as a 'soap-dodger'. Grown-ups always have a way of ruining everything.
Chloe stopped hurrying, though, when she saw that she was about to pass Raj's shop. Just one chocolate bar, she thought.
Chloe's love of chocolate made her one of
Raj's best customers. Raj ran the local newsagent shop. He was a big jolly jelly of a man, as sweet and colourful as his slightly over-priced confectionery. Today, though, what Chloe really needed was some advice.
Raj 最好的客户。拉杰经营着当地的报刊亭。他是一个快乐的大果冻,就像他价格略高的糖果一样甜美多彩。然而,今天,克洛伊真正需要的是一些建议。
And maybe some chocolate. Just one bar, of course. Maybe two.
"Ah, Miss Chloe!" said Raj, as she entered the shop. "What can I tempt you with today?"
"Hello, Raj," said Chloe smiling. She always smiled when she saw Raj. It was partly because he was such a lovely man, and partly because he sold sweets.
"I have some Rolos on special offer!" announced Raj. "They have gone out of date and hardened. You may lose a tooth as you chew into one, but at 10p off you can't really argue!"
“我有一些特别优惠的Rolos!”Raj宣布。“他们已经过时了,变硬了。当你咀嚼一颗牙齿时,你可能会失去一颗牙齿,但在 10 便士时,你真的无法争辩!
"Mmm, let me think," said Chloe scouring the racks and racks of confectionery.
"I had half a Lion bar earlier, you are welcome to make me an offer on the other half. I'll take anything upwards of ."
"I think I'll just take a Crunchie, thanks Raj."
"Buy seven Crunchie bars you get an eighth Crunchie bar absolutely free!"
“买七个 Crunchie 酒吧,你就可以完全免费获得第八个 Crunchie 酒吧!”
"No thanks, Raj. I only want one." She put the money down on the counter. 35 p. Money well spent considering the nice feeling the chocolate would give her as it slipped down her throat and into her tummy.
“不用了,谢谢,拉杰。我只想要一个。她把钱放在柜台上。35 页码考虑到巧克力从她的喉咙滑落到她的肚子里会给她带来美好的感觉,钱花得很值。
"But Chloe, don't you understand? This is a unique opportunity to enjoy the popular chocolate-covered honeycomb bar at a dramatic saving!"
"I don't need eight Crunchie bars, Raj," said Chloe. "I need some advice."
"I don't think I am really responsible enough to give out advice," replied Raj without

Drivel 傻话

a hint of irony. "But I'll try."
Chloe loved talking to Raj. He wasn't a parent or a teacher, and whatever you said to him, he would never judge you. However, Chloe still gulped slightly, because she was about to attempt another little lie. "Well, there's this girl I know at school..." she began.
"Yes? A girl at school. Not you?"
"No, somebody else." “不,是别人。”
"Right," said Raj. “对,”拉杰说。
Chloe gulped again and looked down, unable to meet his gaze. "Well, this friend of mine, she's started to talk to this tramp, and she really likes talking to him, but her mother would blow a fuse if she knew, so I - I mean, my friend - doesn't know what to do."
Raj looked at Chloe expectantly. "Yes?" he said. "And what is your question exactly?" "Well Raj," said Chloe. "Do you think it's

wrong to talk to tramps?"
"Well, it's not good to talk to strangers," said Raj. "And you should never let anyone give you a lift in a car!"
"Right," said Chloe, disappointed.
"But a tramp is just somebody without a home," continued Raj. "Too many people walk on by and pretend they're not there."
"Yes!" said Chloe. "That's what I think too."
Raj smiled. "Any of us could become homeless one day. I can see nothing wrong with talking to a tramp, just like you would anyone else."
"Thanks Raj, I will... I mean, I'll tell her. This girl at school, I mean."
"What's this girl's name?"
"Umm... Stephen! I mean Susan... no, Sarah. Her name is Sarah, definitely Sarah."
"It's you, isn't it?" said Raj smiling.
"Yes," admitted Chloe after a millisecond.
"You are a very sweet girl, Chloe. It's lovely that you would take the time to talk to a tramp. There but for the grace of God go you and I."
"Thanks, Raj." Chloe went a little red, embarrassed by his compliment.
"Now what can you buy your homeless friend for Christmas?" said Raj as he scoured around his disorganised shop. "I have a box full of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stationery sets I can’t seem to shift. Yours for only . In fact buy one set, get ten free."
“现在,你能给你无家可归的朋友买什么圣诞节礼物呢?”拉杰说,他在他杂乱无章的商店里四处搜寻。“我有一个装满忍者神龟文具套装的盒子,我似乎无法移动。你的只 为.其实买一套,送十套。
"I'm not sure a tramp really has any need for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stationery set, thanks anyway Raj."
"We all have use of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stationery set, Chloe. You have your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pencil, your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles eraser, your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ruler, your
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pencil case, your Teenage Mutant-"
"I get the idea, thanks, Raj, but I'm sorry, I'm not going to buy one. I've got to go," said Chloe, edging out of the shop as she unwrapped her Crunchie.
"I haven't finished, Chloe. Please, I haven't sold one! You also have your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pencil sharpener, your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles notepad, your Teenage Mutant... oh, shes gone."
"And what's this, young lady?" demanded Mother. She was standing waiting in Chloe's room. Between her thumb and index finger was one of Chloe's exercise books from school. Mother held it as if it were an exhibit in a court case.
"It's just my maths book, Mother," said
Chloe, gulping as she edged into the room.
You might think that Chloe was worried because her maths work wasn't up to scratch. But that wasn't quite it. The problem was, Chloe's maths book didn't have any maths in it! The book was supposed to be full of boring numbers and equations, but instead it was positively overflowing with colourful words and pictures.
Spending so much time alone had turned Chloe's imagination into a deep dark forest. It was a magical place to escape to, and so much more thrilling than real life. Chloe had used the exercise book to write a story about a girl who is sent to a school (loosely based on her own) where all the teachers are secretly vampires. She thought it was much more exciting than boring equations, but Mother clearly didn't agree.
"If it is your mathematics book, why does it contain this repulsive horror story?" said Mother. This was one of those questions when you aren't supposed to give an answer. "No wonder you did so poorly in your mathematics exam. I imagine you have spent the time in class writing this... this drivel. I am so disappointed in you, Chloe."
Chloe felt her cheeks smarting with shame

and hung her head. She didn't think her story was drivel. But she couldn't imagine telling her Mother that.
"Don't you have anything to say for yourself?" shouted Mother.
Chloe shook her head. For the second time in one day she wanted to just disappear.
"Well, this is what I think of your story," said Mother, as she started trying to rip up the exercise book.
"P-p-please... don't..." stammered Chloe.
"No, no, no! I'm not paying your school fees for you to waste your time on this rubbish! . It's going in the bin!"
The book was obviously harder to rip than Mother had expected, and it took a few attempts to make the first tear. However, soon the book was nothing more than confetti. Chloe bowed her head, tears welling up in her

eyes, as her mother dropped all the pieces in the bin.
"Do you want to end up like your father? Working in a car factory? If you concentrate on your maths and don't get distracted by silly stories, you have a chance of making a better life for yourself! Otherwise you'll end up wasting your life, like your father. Is that what you want?"
“Well, I- “嗯,我——
"How dare you interrupt me!" shouted Mother. Chloe hadn't realised this was another one of those questions you're not actually meant to answer. "You'd better buck your ideas up, young lady!"
Chloe wasn't quite sure what that meant, but it didn't seem like the best time to ask. Mother left the room, dramatically slamming the door behind her. Chloe slowly sat down on the edge of her bed. As she buried her face in her hands,

Drivel 傻话

she thought of Mr Stink, sitting on his bench with only the Duchess for company. She wasn't homeless like him, but she felt homeless in her heart.


Abandon Starbucks! 放弃星巴克!

Monday morning. The first proper day of the Christmas holidays. A day Chloe had been dreading. She didn't have any friends she could text or email or SMS or Facebook or Twitter or whatever, but there was one person she wanted to see...
By the time Chloe got to the bench it was raining heavily, and she wished she'd at least paused to pick up an umbrella.
"The Duchess and I weren't expecting to see you again, Chloe," said Mr Stink. His eyes twinkled at the surprise, despite the rain.

Abandon Starbucks! 放弃星巴克!

"I am sorry I ran off like that," said Chloe, "Don't worry, you are forgiven," he chuckled. Chloe sat down next to him. She gave the Duchess a stroke, and then noticed that the palm of her hand was black. She surreptitiously wiped it on her trousers. Then she shivered, as a raindrop ran down the back of her neck.
"Oh, no, you're cold!" said Mr Stink. "Shall we take shelter from the rain in a coffee shop establishment?"
"Err... yes, good idea," said Chloe, not sure if taking someone quite so stinky into an enclosed space really was a good idea. As they walked into the town centre, the rain felt icy, almost becoming hail.
When they arrived at the coffee shop, Chloe peered through the steamed-up glass window. "I don't think there's anywhere to sit down," she said. Unfortunately, the coffee shop was full to

bursting with Christmas shoppers, trying to avoid the cruel British weather.
"We can but try," said Mr Stink, picking up the Duchess and attempting to conceal her under his tweed jacket.
The tramp opened the door for Chloe and she squeezed herself inside. As Mr Stink entered, the pleasing aroma of freshly-brewed coffee keeled over and died. His own special smell replaced it.
There was silence for a moment.
Then panic. 然后恐慌。

Abandon Starbucks! 放弃星巴克!

People started running towards the door, clutching serviettes to their mouths as makeshift gas masks.
"Abandon Starbucks!" screamed a member of staff, and his colleagues immediately stopped making coffees or bagging muffins and ran for their lives.
"It seems to be thinning out a little," announced Mr Stink.
Soon they were the only ones left in the shop. Maybe smelling this bad has its advantages, thought Chloe. If Mr Stink's super-smell could empty a coffee shop, what else could it do? Maybe he could clear the local ice rink of skaters so she could have it all to herself? Or they could go to Alton Towers together and not have to queue for a single ride? Better still, she could take him and his smell into school one day, and if he was particularly stinky the headmistress would

have to send everyone home and she could have the day off!
"You take a seat here, child," said Mr Stink. "Now, what would you like to drink?"
"Er... a cappuccino, please," replied Chloe, trying to sound grown-up.
"I think I'll have one too." Mr Stink shuffled behind the counter and started opening tins. "Righty-ho, two cappuccinos coming right up."
The machines hissed and spat for a few moments, and then Mr Stink pottered back over to the table with two mugs of a dark, unidentifiable liquid. On closer inspection, it appeared to be some kind of black slime, but Chloe was too well brought up to complain and pretended to sip whatever it was that he had concocted for her. She even managed an almost convincing, "Mmm... lovely!"

Abandon Starbucks! 放弃星巴克!

Mr Stink stirred his solid liquid with a dainty little silver spoon he pulled out from his breast pocket. Chloe stole a glance at it and noticed it was monogrammed, with three little letters delicately engraved on the handle. She tried to get a better look, but he put it away before she could see what the letters were. What could they mean? Or was this simply another item Mr Stink had purloined during his career as a gentleman thief?
"So, Miss Chloe," said Mr Stink, breaking her train of thought. "It's the Christmas holidays, isn't it?" He took a sip from his coffee, holding his mug elegantly between his fingers. "Why aren't you at home decorating the tree with your family or wrapping presents?"
"Well, I don't know how to explain..." No one in Chloe's family was good at expressing their feelings. To her mother, feelings were at best

an embarrassment, at worst a sign of weakness.
"Just take your time, young lady."
Chloe took a deep breath and it all came flooding out. What started off as a stream soon became a rushing river of emotion. She told him how her parents argued most of the time and how once she was sitting on the stairs when she heard her Mother shout, "I am only staying with you for the sake of the girls!"
How her little sister made her life a misery. How nothing she did was ever good enough. How if she brought home some little bowl she had made in pottery class her Mother would put it at the back of a cupboard, never to be seen again. However, if her little sister brought any piece of artwork home, however awful, it was put in pride of place behind bulletproof glass as if it was the Mona Lisa.
Chloe told Mr Stink how her mother was

Abandon Starbucks! 放弃星巴克!

always trying to force her to lose weight. Up until recently, Mother had described her as having "puppy fat". But once she turned twelve, Mother rather cruelly started calling it "flab" or even worse "blubber", as if she was some species of whale.
Perhaps Mother 也许是母亲
was trying to shame her into losing weight. In truth, it only

made Chloe more miserable, and being miserable only made her eat more. Filling herself up with chocolate, crisps and cake felt like being given a much-needed hug.
She told Mr Stink how she wished her dad would stand up to her mother sometimes. How she didn't find it easy to make friends, as she was so shy. How she only really liked making up

stories, but it made her mother so angry. And how Rosamund ensured that every day at school was an absolute misery.
It was a long, long list, but Mr Stink listened intently to everything she said as jolly Christmas songs played incongruously in the background.
For someone who spent every day with only a little black dog for company, he was surprisingly full of wisdom. In fact, he seemed to relish the opportunity to listen and talk and help. People didn't really stop to talk to Mr Stink - and he seemed pleased to be having a proper conversation for once.
He told Chloe, "Tell your Mother how you feel, I am sure she loves you and would hate you to be unhappy." And, “...try and find something fun you can do with your sister." And, “...why not talk to your dad about how you feel?"
Finally, Chloe told Mr Stink about how

Abandon Starbucks! 放弃星巴克!

Mother had ripped her vampire story to shreds. She had to try very hard not to cry.
"That's terrible, child," said Mr Stink. "You must have been devastated."
"I hate her," said Chloe. "I hate my mother." "You shouldn't say that," said Mr Stink.
"But I do." “但我愿意。”
"You are very angry with her, of course, but she loves you, even if she finds it hard to show it."
"Maybe." Chloe shrugged, unconvinced. But having talked everything through she felt a little calmer now. "Thank you so much for listening to me," she said.
"I just hate to see a young girl like you looking sad," said Mr Stink. "I may be old, but I can remember what it was like to be young. I just hope I helped a little."
"You helped a lot."
Mr Stink smiled, before letting the last sludge of his volcanic gloop slip down his throat. "Delicious! Now, we'd better leave some money for our beverages." He searched around in his pockets for some change. "Oh, bother, I can't read the board without my spectacles. I'll leave six pence. That should be enough. And a tuppence tip. They will be pleased with that. They can treat themselves to one of those new-fangled video cassettes. Right, I think you'd better be heading home now, young lady."
The rain had stopped when they left the coffee shop. They sauntered down the road as cars hummed past.
"Let's swap places," said Mr Stink.
“Why?" “为什么?”
"Because a lady should always walk on the inside of the pavement and a gentleman on the outside."

Abandon Starbucks! 放弃星巴克!

"Really?" said Chloe. "Why?"
"Well," replied Mr Stink, "the outside is more dangerous because that's where the cars are. But I believe it was originally because in the olden days people used to throw the contents of their chamber pots out of their windows and into the gutter. The person on the outside was more likely to get splattered!"
"What's a chamber pot?" said Chloe.
"Well I don't wish to be crude, but it's a kind of portable toilet."
"Ugh! That's gross. Did people do that when you were a boy?"
Mr Stink chuckled. "No, that was a little before my time, child. In the sixteenth century, in fact! Now, Miss Chloe, etiquette demands we swap places."
His old-world gallantry was so charming it made Chloe smile, and they changed places.
They strolled side by side, passing high-street shop after high-street shop, all trying to herald the approach of Christmas louder than the next. After a few moments Chloe saw Rosamund walking towards them with a small flotilla of shopping bags.

Abandon Starbucks! 放弃星巴克!

"Can we cross the road, please? Quickly," whispered Chloe anxiously.
"Why, child? Whatever is the matter?"
"It's that girl from school I just told you about, Rosamund."
"The one who stuck that sign to your back?" "Yes, that's her."
"You need to stand up to her," pronounced Mr Stink. "Let her be the one to cross the road!"
"No... please don't say anything," pleaded Chloe.
"Who is this? Your new boyfriend?" laughed Rosamund. It wasn't a real laugh, like people do when they find something funny. That's a lovely sound. This was a cruel laugh. An ugly sound.
Chloe didn't say anything, just looked down.
"My daddy just gave me to buy myself whatever I wanted for Christmas," said Rosamund. "I blew the lot at Topshop. Shame
“我爸爸只是让我 给自己买圣诞节想要的任何东西,”罗莎蒙德说。“我在 Topshop 大放异彩。羞耻

you're too fat to get into any of their clothes."
Chloe merely sighed. She was used to being hounded by Rosamund.
"Why are you letting her talk to you like that, Chloe?" said Mr Stink.
"What's it to you, Grandad?" said Rosamund mockingly. "Hanging around with smelly old tramps now, are you Chloe? You are tragic! How long did it take you to find that sign on your back then?"
"She didn't find it," said Mr Stink, slowly and deliberately. "I did. And I didn't find it amusing."
"Didn't you?" said Rosamund. "All the other girls found it really funny!"
"Well, then they are as vile as you," said Mr Stink.
"What?" said Rosamund. She wasn't used to being talked to like that.
"I said 'then they are as vile as you'," he repeated, even louder this time. "You are a nasty little bully." Chloe looked on anxiously. She hated confrontation.
To make matters worse, Rosamund took a pace forward and stood eye to eye with Stink. "Say that to my face, you old stinker!"
更糟糕的是,罗莎蒙德向前走了一步,与 臭臭四目相对。“当着我的面这么说,你这个老臭蛋!”
For a moment Mr Stink fell silent. Then he opened his mouth and let out the deepest darkest dirtiest burp.




Abandon Starbucks! 放弃星巴克!

Rosamund's face turned green. It was as if a putrid tornado had engulfed her. It was the smell of coffee and sausages and rotten vegetables recovered from bins all rolled into one. Rosamund turned and ran, hurtling down the high street in such a panic that she dropped her TopShop bags on the way.
"That was so funny!" laughed Chloe.
"I didn't mean to belch. Most impolite. It was just that coffee repeating on me. Dear me! Now next time I want to see you stand up for yourself, Miss Chloe. A bully can only make you feel bad about yourself if you let them."
"OK... I'll try," said Chloe. "So... see you tomorrow
"If you really want to," he replied.
"I would love to."
"And I would love to too!" he said, his eyes twinkling and twinkling as the last golden glow

of the sunlight splintered through the sky.
At that moment a thundered past. Its giant tyres sloshed through a huge puddle by the bus stop, sending up a wave that soaked Mr Stink from dirty head to dirty foot.
那一刻,雷 鸣般的过去。它巨大的轮胎在公交车站旁的一个巨大的水坑里晃来晃去,掀起一股波浪,把臭先生从脏头浸透到脏脚。
Water dripping from his glasses, he gave Chloe a little bow. "And that," he said, "is why a gentleman always walks on the outside."
"At least it wasn't a chamber pot!" chuckled Chloe.


Soap-Dodgers 肥皂道奇

The next morning Chloe pulled open her curtains. Why was there a giant ' ' and a giant ' ' stuck to her window? She went outside in her dressing gown to investigate.
第二天早上,克洛伊拉开了窗帘。为什么她的窗户上贴着一个巨大的“和一个巨大的” ?她穿着睡袍到外面去调查。
'VOTE CRUMB!' was spelled out in giant letters across the windows of the house. Elizabeth the cat pattered out with a rosette emblazoned with the words 'Crumb for MP' attached to her jewel-encrusted collar.
“VOTE CRUMB!”在房子的窗户上用大字写着。伊丽莎白猫咪咔嚓咔嚓地走了出来,她镶满宝石的项圈上戴着一朵玫瑰花结,上面写着“Crumb for MP”。
Then Annabelle came skipping out of the house with an air of self-congratulatory joy that was instantly annoying.
"Where are you going?" asked Chloe.
"As her favourite daughter, Mother has entrusted with the responsibility of putting these leaflets through every door in the street.
“作为她最喜欢的女儿,母亲委托 她把这些传单放到街上的每一扇门上。
She's standing to be a Member of Parliament, remembers"
"Let me see that," said Chloe, reaching out to grab one of the leaflets. The two warring sisters had long since dispensed with 'please' and 'thank you'.
Annabelle snatched it back. "I am not wasting one on you!" she snarled.
"Let me see!" Chloe pulled the leaflet out of Annabelle's hand. There were some advantages to being the older sister; sometimes you could use brute force. Annabelle huffed off with the rest of the leaflets. Chloe walked back into the house studying it, her slippers moistening with the dew. Mother was always going on and on about how she should run the country, but Chloe found the whole subject so dreary and dull that her imagination would float away into la-la land whenever the subject came up.
On the front of the leaflet was a photograph of Mother looking incredibly serious, with her finest pearls around her neck, her hair so waxy with spray that it would become a fireball if you put a lit match to it. Inside was a long list of her policies.
  1. A curfew to be introduced to ensure all children under 30 are not allowed out after and are preferably in bed with lights out by .
    实行宵禁,以确保所有 30 岁以下的儿童在之后 都不允许外出,最好在床上 熄灯。
  2. The police to be given new powers to arrest people for talking too loudly in public.
  3. Litterbugs to be deported.
  4. The wearing of leggings to be outlawed in public areas, as they are 'extremely common'.
  5. The national anthem to be played in the town square every hour on the hour. Everyone must be upstanding for this. Being in a wheelchair is no excuse for not paying your respects to Her Majesty.
  6. All dogs to be kept on leads at all times. Even indoors.
  7. Verruca socks to be worn by everyone attending the local swimming pool whether they have a verruca or not. This should cut down the chance of verruca infection to less than zero.
  8. The Christmas pantomime to be discontinued due to the consistent lewdness of the humour (jokes about bottoms, for example. There is nothing funny about a bottom. We all have a bottom and we all know full well what comes out of a bottom and what sound a bottom can make of its own accord).
  9. Church-going on Sunday morning to be compulsory. And when you do go you have

    to sing the hymns properly, not just open and close your mouth when the organ plays.
  10. Mobile telephonic devices to have only classical music ringtones from now on, like Mozart and Beethoven and one of the other ones, not the latest pop songs from the hit parade.
  11. Unemployed people not to be allowed to claim benefit any more. Dole scum only have themselves to blame and are just plain idle. Why should we pay for them to sit at home all day watching or appearing on The Jeremy Kyle Show?
  12. Giant bronze statues of royals Prince Edward and his fragrant wife Sophie, Countess of Wessex, to be erected in the local park.
  13. Tattoos on anyone but visiting sailors to be banned. Tattoos can to be dropped off anonymously at police stations without prosecution.
  14. Fast food burger restaurants to introduce plates, cutlery and table service. And stop serving burgers. And French fries. And nuggets. And those apple pies that are always too hot in the middle.
  15. The local library to stock only the works of Beatrix Potter. Apart from The Tale of Jeremy Fisher, as the sequence when the frog, Mr Fisher, is swallowed by a trout is far too violent even for adults.
    当地图书馆只收藏比阿特丽克丝·波特的作品。除了 《杰里米·费舍尔的故事》之外,青蛙费舍尔先生被鳟鱼吞下的情节即使对成年人来说也太暴力了。
  16. Football games in the local park are a nuisance.
From now on only imaginary balls to be used.
  1. Only nice films to be offered for rental in Blockbuster. That is to say films about posh people from the olden days who are too shy even to hold hands.
    只有好看的电影才能在 Blockbuster 中出租。也就是说,关于古代时髦的人的电影,他们太害羞了,甚至不敢牵手。
  2. To combat the growing problem of 'hoodies' all hooded tops to have the hoods cut off.
  3. Video games rot the brain. Any video games (or computer games or console games or whatever the stupid things are called) to be played only between and 4:01pm daily.
    电子游戏会腐烂大脑。任何视频游戏(或电脑游戏或主机游戏或任何愚蠢的东西)只能在每天下午 4:01 之间 玩。
  4. Finally, all homeless people, or 'soap-dodgers', are to be banned from our streets. They are a menace to society. And, more importantly, they smell.

Soap-Dodgers 肥皂道奇

Chloe slumped down on the sofa when she read these last sentences. There was a loud squeak as she did so. Mother had insisted on keeping on the plastic covers the sofa and armchair had arrived in, so as to keep them immaculate. They were indeed still immaculate, but it meant your bum got really hot and sweaty.
What about my new friend Mr Stink? Chloe thought. What's going to happen to him? And what about the Duchess? If he is banned from the streets where on earth is he going to go?
And then, a moment later, Wow, my bum is getting incredibly hot and sweaty.
She chaffed her way sadly back up the stairs to her room. Sitting on her bed, she stared out of the window. Because she was shy and awkward, Chloe didn't make friends easily. Now her newest friend Mr Stink was going to have to leave the town. Maybe for ever. She

stared out through the glass at the deep blue endless air. Then, just before her eyes lost focus in the infinite sky of nothing, she looked down. The answer was at the end of the garden staring back at her.
The shed. 棚子。


A Bucket in the Corner

This operation had to be top-secret. Chloe waited until darkness fell, and then led Mr Stink and the Duchess silently down her street, before slipping through the side gate to her garden.
"It's just a shed..." said Chloe apologetically as they entered his new abode. "I'm sorry there's no ensuite bathroom, but there is a bucket in the corner there just behind the lawnmower. You can use that if you need to go in the night..."
"Well, this is unimaginably kind, young
Miss Chloe, thank you," said Mr Stink, smiling broadly. Even the Duchess seemed to bark 'thank you', or at least 'cheers'. "Now," continued Mr Stink, "are you sure your mother and father don't mind me being here? I would hate to be an unwelcome guest."
Chloe gulped, nervous about the lie that was about to come out of her mouth. "No... no... they don't mind at all. They're just both very busy people and they apologise that they weren't able to be here right now to meet you in person."
Chloe had carefully picked the right time to settle Mr Stink in. She knew Mother was out campaigning for election, and Dad was picking up Annabelle from her sumo-wrestling class.
"Well I would love to meet them both," said Mr Stink, "and see what people turned out such a wonderfully generous and thoughtful

daughter. This will be so much warmer than my bench."
Chloe smiled shyly at the compliment. "Sorry there are all these old cardboard boxes in here," she said. She started to move them out of the way, to give him room to lie down. Mr Stink gave her a hand, lifting some of the boxes on top of each other. When she got to the bottom box, Chloe paused. Poking out of the top was a charred electric guitar. She examined. it for a moment, puzzled, then rummaged through the box and found a pile of old CDs. They were all the same, stacks and stacks of an album entitled Hell For Leather by The Serpents of Doom.
克洛伊羞涩地笑了笑。“对不起,这里有这么多旧纸板箱,”她说。她开始把它们移开,给他躺下的空间。臭先生伸出一只手,把一些箱子叠在一起。当她到达最下面的盒子时,克洛伊停了下来。从顶部探出的是一把烧焦的电吉他。她检查了一下。它疑惑了一会儿,然后在盒子里翻找,发现了一堆旧CD。他们都是一样的,一摞又一摞的 The Serpents of Doom 的专辑《Hell For Leather》。
"Have you ever heard of this band?" she asked.
"I don't really know any music past 1958, I'm afraid."

A Bucket in the Corner

Chloe studied the picture on the cover for a moment. Super-imposed in front of a drawing of a giant snake stood four long-haired, leather-jacketed types. Chloe's eyes fixed on the guitar player, who looked an awful lot like her dad, only with a mess of curly black hair.
"I don't believe it!" said Chloe. "That's my dad."
She hadn't had any idea her dad had ever had a perm, let alone that he'd been in a rock band! She didn't know which was more shocking - the idea of him not being bald, or the idea of him playing electric guitar.
"Really?" said Mr Stink.
"I think so," said Chloe. "It looks like him anyway." She was still studying the album cover with a curious combination of pride and embarrassment.
"Well, we all have secrets, Miss Chloe. Now what should I do if I require a pot of tea or a round of sausage sandwiches on white bread please with HP sauce on the side? Is there a bell I should ring?"
Chloe looked at him, a little surprised. She hadn't realised she was going to have to feed him as well as shelter him.
"No, there's no bell," she said. "Erm, you see that window up there? That's my bedroom."
"Ah yes?" “啊,是吗?”
"Well if you need something, why don't you flash this old bicycle light up at my window? Then I can come down and... erm... take your order."
"Perfection!" exclaimed Mr Stink.
Being in the confined space of the shed with Mr Stink was beginning to make it difficult for Chloe to breathe. The smell was especially bad

A Bucket in the Corner

today. It was stinky even by Mr Stink's stinky standards. "Would you like to have a bath before my family get back?" Chloe said hopefully. The Duchess looked up at her master with a look of desperate hope in her blinking eyes. It was the stink that made her blink.
"Let me think..." “让我想想......”
Chloe smiled at him expectantly.
"Actually, I'll leave it for this month, thank you."
"Oh," said Chloe, disappointed. "Is there anything I can get you right now?"
"Is there an afternoon tea menu perhaps?" asked Mr Stink. "A choice of scones, cakes and French pastries?"
"Erm... no," said Chloe. "But I could bring you a cup of tea and biscuits. And we should have some cat food that I could bring for the Duchess."
"I am pretty sure the Duchess is a dog not a cat, pronounced Mr Stink.
"I know, but we only have a cat, so we've only got cat food."
"Well, maybe you could pop into Raj's shop tomorrow and buy the Duchess some tins of dog food. Raj knows the brand she likes." Mr Stink rummaged in his pockets. "Here's a ten pence piece. You can keep the change."
“好吧,也许你明天可以去拉杰的店里,给公爵夫人买几罐狗粮。Raj 知道她喜欢的品牌。臭先生在口袋里翻找。“这是一块十便士。你可以保留零钱。
Chloe looked in her hand. Mr Stink had actually placed an old brass button there.
"Thank you so much, young lady," he continued. "And please don't forget to knock when you return in case I am getting changed into my pyjamas."
What have I done? thought Chloe, as she made her way across the lawn back to the house. Her head was buzzing with more imaginary life-stories for her new friend, but none of them

seemed quite right. Was he an astronaut who had fallen to earth and, in the shock, lost his memory? Or perhaps he was a convict who had escaped from prison after serving thirty years for a crime he didn't commit? Or, even better, a modern-day pirate who had been forced by his comrades to walk the plank into shark-infested waters, but against all the odds had swum to safety?
One thing she knew for sure was that he did really whiff. Indeed she could still smell him as she reached the back door. The plants and flowers in the garden seemed to have wilted with the smell. They were all now leaning away from the shed as if they were trying to avert their stamens. At least he's safe, thought Chloe. And warm, and dry, if only for tonight.
When she got up to her room and looked out of the window, the light was flashing already.

  1. Monday 星期一
    5am Swimming training 凌晨 5 点 游泳训练
    6am Clarinet lesson 早上6点单簧管课
    7am Dance lesson, tap and contemporary jazz
    早上 7 点:舞蹈课、踢踏舞和现代爵士乐
    8am Dance lesson, ballet
    上午8点 舞蹈课, 芭蕾舞
    9 am to School
    上午9点到 学校
    Drama lesson, improvisation and movement
    5 pm Piano lesson
    Brownies  巧克力
    Girls' Brigade  少女大队
    Javelin practice